Dark Desires
by Ominous-Advent
Summary: AU "You're notorious for playing head games..If it's not Lebreau you want, then who Serah? Stop yanking my feeling's around.." Requested by Rilixir Cloud-Burst.
1. Lustful

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters all credit to square.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Lustful<strong>

_A flurry of clicks could be heard against the onxy asphalt on this cold night in the Seaside Town. _

_Deep and heavy breathing._

_Aching chest._

_Muscles sore to the touch._

_Horror struck cerulean optics._

_The figure turned the next corner, dashing, sprinting, any form of running that would put distance between her and the thugs that were chasing her. Quickly, without thinking or hesitating, the girl turned down a street that had one light, illuminating the darkness at the far end of it._

_"Awww, come on beautiful! Don't run away from us, just give us what we want and we'll leave you alone!"_

_What they want? The chances of that happening was slim to none. With no other choice, the girl ran down the darkened street at full speed. By now, all the running was taking a toll on her._

_Her body was screaming and rejecting her from going any further and her lungs were so aflamed they felt like they would burst at any second. The girl reached the end of the street and stopped under the lone lamp-post._

**'Dead End.'**

_A sign read on a weathered red brick wall she stood in front of. The girl panicked, as her breathing grew more rapidly, to the point she was hyperventalating._

_All three thugs came to a stop. All circling around her with smug and disgusting smirks on their faces. The girl tried to bulldoze her way out of the field the group had formed but the men bruisingly grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the concrete wall. "P-please don't hurt me..please.."_

_The girl begged through tears that profusely ran from her eyes. One of the men, the leader no doubt, laughed darkly and ran his fingers through her rose pink bangs. His other hand freely ran along her exposed torso, and further down under her black laced mini-skirt._

_"No, stop it stop it!" She screamed, as loud as she could in hopes that anyone would hear her desperate cries, but the night remained silent with only the dull hum of the lone street light filling her ears._

_"Shhh," His lips wrapped roughly around her neck, along with teeth, gnawing into the skin, drawing blood. She yelped and squeezed her eyes shut as the the sensitive skin there start to burn. "It's okay beautiful, we'll take care of you," He unbuckled his belt and his pants fell to the ground. She felt a painful pressure against her wrists then suddenly they were positioned over her head. A hand grazed along her inner thigh and she unwillingly shuddered._

_"Feels good doesn't it?" The husky voice asked, teasingly gliding his fingers along her arousal. "Get off of me!" The girl positioned her knee at an angle that conneted with the sickening man's groin._

_The man let out a pained cry and the girl was released from his grasp. She scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction of the thugs._

_"Get that bitch!"_

**~xxxxxx~**

"Ugh shoot..." She dropped her head on the vanity set and sighed. That vision, that memory kept making itself present in her mind, even though it occurred two years ago, the first time she ever hopped up on a stage in front of a crowd of hungry eyes.

At first it was for fun, she had no intentions on flaunting her body in a sexual manner and swing her form around a pole. All that, just to get bills thrown her way and howls from disgusting men. It just wasn't her thing. But some how, she raked in twenty thousand that night. It was for fun..

The owner was so taken with her outstanding performance, he talked her into actually working at this place. At first she was against it, like she said before, showing her exposed body to the world was not something she could picture herself doing every night. She had high priorities and morals. Like any other innocent girl would.

But here she was..In this dressing room, along with these other dancers!

"Oh dear Serah!"

The pinkette reached down under the vanity and grabbed her seven inched white stilletos and slipped them on her feet. The girl calling her name, slowly strut her way in her direction and placed her soft palms on her shoulders.

Serah turned around facing the mirror as she brushed her fingers through the softness of her pink hair. "Yes Lebreau, I thought you were working the bar tonight, what are you doing in here?"

The brunette's hands gently slid from the girl's shoulders down to her biceps and repeated the gesture. "Nope." She purred seductively into Serah's ear. "Snow has me dancing tonight." Her tounge danced along the side of the girl's neck in a teasing manner. "It's a shame you won't be up there with me this time, we really gave them a show last time, hmm."

Serah quivered and bit her lip, swallowing down the desire to let out an unnecessary moan. "Yea such, a shame." She said trying to sound as sincere as much as she could.

She turned around on the cushioned stool, facing Lebreau and her lust blurred eyes. She smirked, slowly gliding her tongue along her upper lip and giving the pinkette a wink.

Serah blushed, turning her eyes away and started fondling with the small pink ribbon on her skirt.

"You seem tense." Lebreau sat herself in the girl's lap and tightened her legs around her hips, arms draped loose around her neck. Serah exhaled and swallowed a lump in her throat. "You should come to my place after work. We can have some fun, like last time?"

"Uhm, as tempting as that sounds Lebreau, I'm going to have to pass. Snow, has me working with the new girls tonight. Maybe uh..next time.."

Her hips shifted smoothly against the girl's in a slow motion. Another shock of pleasure jolted down her spine and directly to her center. "I can come to you. I don't mind waiting." She whispered, and stole a hungry kiss without the pinkette's consent. "Well...?"

"Alright, alright! You better be there when I get home."

"Oh Serah, you know I will be." She brushed her lips against the latter's collarbone and dove a hand into her skirt. Her slender fingers swept and pressed against the girl's wet folds.

A uneven gasp escaped, and Serah bucked not once, but twice.

Slow and torturous, Lebreau slid a digit inside her. Serah closed her eyes and slumped against the vanity, panting like she'd run out of breath. "Mm-ahuh! Lebreau!"

"You're so wet, I'm barely doing anything yet." She always did this, she'd start the girl up and then-

The tanned brunette slipped her fingers out of Serah's wet slit and into her mouth. "Mmm, delicious. Well, gotta go, see you later babe!"

"No, no! Lebreau please!"

"You want me that badly Serah?"

"Yes..."

"Tough, you'll just have to wait until later!" Lebreau blew her a kiss. " Don't go falling for none of those newbie chicks okay!" She smiled and swiftly left the dressing room.

_'What a tease!'_ Serah thought. _'She'll pay for that later!'_

**~xxxxxx~**

The rest of the evening did not go as well as she had thought it would. All the dancers Snow sent in were terrible! Twenty-Five percent of them didn't even know what the pole was used for or couldn't dance for the life of them. And the other seventy-five either backed out or couldn't do the simplest this as strip!

Serah sighed and x'ed out the last name on the list and dropped her head against the tables cool surface. None of those wanna-be's made it. Hopefully next weeks batch will be better. But she thanked the Fal'cie, she wouldn't be the one dealing with them.

The door squeeked open but she didn't as much as bother to raise her head. The sound of the music playing in the background as well as the sound of heels clicked against the floor and stopped in front of her. Great another one?

"Alright," she raised her head and folded her hands against the table. "If you're gonna be shy, leave, you can't dance, leave, can't handle large crowds of repulsive men, I say again," she rose her eyes to the girl in front of her and suddenly became transfixed.

The girl wore a pink and white lace overlay halter neck bra, complimented with ruffled trimming around the cup. Sheer black stockings with pink lace top and a simple pink thong. The girl smiled and her vibrant viridians beamed down at her.

"Uhm..."

"Uhm..."

_'God she's beautiful...'_

"I uhm..show me what you can do uhm-"

"Vanille!" Her accented angelic voice rang in Serah's ears.

"Right, Vanille." She placed the clip board of names down on the desk and sat back. "Show me what you can do."

The song in the backgorund switched up and a new song boomed through out the speakers. The girl walked, hips swaying in a cool and laxed manner. She leaned her form against the cool silver pole in the center of the floor and bucked her hips forward. Her hands gently travelled from her shoulders to her breast and down over her tight toned torso. In a swift movement she wrapped her leg around the pole and spun her form around it.

Her spin came to a stop, with her ending in an upside down position, legs spread open wide before locking them in place around the pole and pulled herself back up.

"Uhm.."

Vanille smiled as her body slowly reached the floor ending her short-lived performance with a split. Serah stared in pure amazement. Yea it was short, but it was the best she had seen all night. "Wow..Uhm," I didn't know what to say really..amazing, with a little help you'll be flawless. But, you got it!"

"R-really! Oh thankyou thankyou!" She leaned over the table and gave the a pinkette a tight hug. "Uhm..You're welcome Vanille."

Finally her shift came to an end and she was on the way home. She was in much of a hurry since she knew Lebreau was going to be there. She stepped out of the building and was about to sprint off until she caught a glimpse of Vanille at the corner of her eye. She looked lost and seemed to be pacing. "Hey Vanille."

"Oh hi uhm-"

"Serah, my name is Serah. Are you alright? You seem lost."

"Uhm.." She looked down at the ground and began fiddling with her fingers. Almost like she was nervous. "Do you know where the Bohdum shelter is?"

_'Shelter?'_

Serah nodded. "I do but," The pinkette turned her eyes up to the night sky and stared at the moon as the dark blue clouds passed over it. "Why do you want to go there?"

Vanille sighed and bought her eyes to lock with Serah's. They were mixed with troubled and sadness. Not spry like they were earlier. "I-It's where I stay.." She mumbled, covering her face from the embaressment.

"O-oh..?" Serah felt bad about that being the only thing she was able to come up with. She also felt terrible that the red-head had to stay in such a place. That was nowhere for a girl like her to stay. "Hey Vanille?"

Serah took hold of the girl's hands and moved them from over her eyes. "Why don't you stay with me..? I have an extra room."

"I can't, I don't want to be a burden to you.."

"Don't be silly, you're not a burden. Now come on!"

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><p>Serah opened the door to her apartment and walked inside. She switched on the light and went straight for the kitchen. Vanille stood in the center of the floor, fiddling with her fingers. "Relax." Serah said with a smile as she came from the kitchen. "It's alright, here come, let me show you where your room is."<p>

Serah took the girl's arm and lead her to a room across from her own.

"Serah, is that you?"

_'Uh-oh!'_

Serah quickly shoved Vanille into the guest bedroom and shut the door. Lebreau emerged from the girl's room wearing nothing but her bra and panties. "H-hey Lebreau..I was just coming..in there..."

Lebreau raised her eyebrow and slowly made her way towards the girl. "What are you doing all the way over here.." She pressed her half naked frame against the girl's, gliding her fingers up her left breast and squeezing it. "You don't want me tonight do you?"

Serah rested her back against Vanille's bedroom door as her eyes fluttered shut. "N-no that's not it at all, of course I-I want you Lebreau, you're all I thought about since you left." The girl leaned forward and planted a kiss to the the brunette's lips.

"Mm, good." Lebreau pulled the pinkette away from the bedroom and pushed her onto the sofa. Serah smiled as Lebreau hovered over her. She sat up on her elbows, softly kissing, feeling and touching anywhere that could be touched on the tanned girl's body.

Serah's hand trailed down pass Lebreau's chest and to her stomach where she played with her belly button. Lebrau felt her body heating at Serah's touch. As the girl's fingers moved lower she found herself panting breathlessly.

Serah moved her head down to Lebreau's jugular area, there, she kissed and sucked along her neck. Lebreau bought her hands to lace through Serah's pink locks as she tried hard not to moan from the wonderful feeling building at her center.

but..

"Shit, Serah!" Lebreau screamed as Serah plunged two fingers deeply inside her. She bucked and trembled against the younger girl with pleasure. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head from side to side still trying so desperately to keep her moans to herself.

Serah started thrusting in and out of her fast and rough, not slowing her pace for any reason. Serah was smiling, no, smirking a devious smirk at how she made Lebreau react.

The pinkette stopped and slowly pulled her finger's out, Lebreau moaned in protest and grabbed Serah's hand but she pulled away. "No, don't stop Serah please."

"What's the matter, don't like being teased?" She said and massaged her thumb over Lebreau's clit while still continuing to slip her fingers halfway inside her.

"Mm, stop it, just get the fuck inside me!." Lebreau groaned as her body clung to Serah and scratched deeply at the younger's back, causing the girl to moan at the sensation of it.

Serah pushed, twisted and thrusted her fingers into Lebreau refusing to stop seeing how the woman was writhing and violently bucking against her.

"Mmph..god SERAH!" Lebreau let out a loud scream and twitched violently as she came. The brunette smiled. a thin layer of sweat covering her nose as she leaned in and kissed the pinkette. "My turn now.."

But then-

"Uhm S-serah?"

The pinette's eyes shot open and standing at the foot of the couch was Vanille.

'Shoot!'

Lebreau sat up and looked at Serah through glaring eyes, her jealousy trait suddenly started to kick in. "So, you bought home yet another person Serah?"

"Lebreau it's not what it looks like," Serah sat up on the couch and tried her best to explain herself. "Vanille she-"

"Ah, Vanille's her name huh, why do you hide things like this from me Serah? First Snow, now this chick? How long has this been going on? Well, tell me?"

"I just met her today Lebreau but listen-"

"Oh wow, that just makes it even worse!" Lebreau stood from the sofa and angerily stormed off into Serah's bedroom.

"Serah? d-did I do something wrong?" The red-head asked, feeling guilty for the event that just unfolded.

"No Vanille, You did nothing, don't worry." Serah gave the girl a reassuring smile then ran into her room where Lebreau was dressin herself. "Please, don't go if you just listen to me I can explain!."

"Just like when I walked in on you and Snow. What did this one _just happen _as well? God Serah, why can't you be honest for once!.

"I'm trying to be if you just take the time to listen to me Lebreau!"

"I don't have time for anymore of your head games and lies! You can't just keep sleeping with people and think it won't catch up with you!" The brunette stormed from the girl's room and straight to the front door. "We're done Serah!"

"No Lebreau wait!"

_SLAM!_

Serah sighed and fell to her knees at the front door. Vanille slowly walked to her and knelt at her side. Serah was shaking, crying..Vanille embraced the girl in her arms and gently rocked her back and forth. "It's going to be okay, you'll see." It wasn't much but she felt that this was the least she could do for the girl.

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><p><strong>And that's chapter 1. Well Relixer how's this so far? Let me know :D<strong>

**Review :]**


	2. Envious

**Chapter 2: Envious**

_"Lebreau here, either I'm really busy or I just don't want to talk to you. -giggle- no kidding kidding! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Later loves!"_

"Ugh!" Serah clicked the end key for the fifth time that morning and dropped her phone onto the coffee table. Was Lebreau really that mad at her?

_'You can't keep sleeping with people and think it won't catch up with you!'_

"It wasn't like I was.." She dropped her head to her knees and pouted. It wasn't like she planned on sleeping with the red-head behind Lebreau's back. Yea, maybe in the past she had one, two, three, maybe even...four successful affairs without an ounce of suspicion from the woman but, not with Vanille. Definetly not with her lover present anyway. She had her bold moments but that would have really been pushing it.

Lebreau was always the jealous type. Even if Serah looked at someone with a flirtaious eye or others period she would jump to conclusions and ask the most inane questions.

But, she put herself in that position for being so dishonest all the time. Maybe Lebreau had grown weary of her games Serah sighed and turned her attention to the room in which the red-head was occupying. It was 11:00am and she still wasn't awake. She must have been very tired.

_'Wonder if she sleeps like this all the time..'_

Even though she was a late night worker, Serah never slept in. Everyday she'd wake up bright and early. Like the night before never happened. Today being the only exception where she didn't.

Serah stood from the sofa and made her way towards the guest room in a slow but hesitant stride. Maybe the girl was too shy to come out after last? Closing in on the door, Serah raised a hand and knocked. "Vanille?"

No answer came.

Serah turned the knob and gently swung the door open, just as she had thought, the girl was still asleep. The way the girl was positioned was a little awkward. Her arms were over, atop her head, one leg dangled off the side of the bed, and the cream colored sheet was loosely wrapped around the lower part of her body. Her orange hair that was usually pulled back in pig tails, messily covered her face.

Serah smiled and covered her mouth to keep in the small giggle that almost slipped out. It was...cute. The girl eyed the red-heads body even further, admiring her tight and curvaceous figure. Serah swallowed and absently licked over her top lip, trying to resist the urge to throw herself on top of the girl. Her eyes danced from the girl's face to her chest. Her _exposed chest! _"Oh my.." Serah ducked out the room quietly, careful not to wake the girl, and shut the door. She kneeled down on the floor panting heavily, as the blood coursing through her veins went thick.

_'She sleeps. Naked!'_

The sound of the door bell startled her, as did the beeping of the security pad lock. The door slid open and Lebreau walked inside. Unexpected.

Serah gathered herself from that brief scene and stood up. She was a little shocked but slightly upset at the same time, She folded her arms and looked around at everything but the brunette. "So, you don't take phone calls anymore?"

Lebreau walked pass Serah and went straight to the kitchen, searching like she was looking for something. "Enjoy yourself last night?"

"I didn't do anything with her. I-I bought her home with me because she needed a place to stay, that's all!" Serah said trying to convince the brunette. "Why don't you believe me?"

Lebreau didn't respond and headed for the living room where she laid down across the sofa, folding her arms behind her head and closing her eyes. "Blah blah! Whatever, cut the innocent game Serah. You're far from it!"

"But.." Serah crawled on top of the brunette and sat on her stomach. "I'm telling the truth, I didn't touch her." She placed a hand to Lebreau's cheek and circled her thumb over the smooth skin. Lebreau seemed to open her eyes slightly but that same anger and frustration was still present in them. She huffed and turned her head away. "And I'm just _supposed_ to take your word for it?"

"Yes.."

"Well.." Lebreau started, bringing her eyes back to lock with Serah's. "That's hard to do. You've burnt one too many bridges with me and I'm tired of it. Am I not enough for you Serah?" Her eyes seemed to soften up as they bore into the pinkette's azure ones.

As easy of a question that was, Serah found it quite hard to answer, since it was always her asking that question to the person she slept with, not the other way around. "Uhm..." Serah tilted her head sideways trying to squeeze a simple answer out of her brain. Lebreau's eyes narrowed and a small impatient growl rose from the back of her throat making the girl shudder slightly. "O-of course..." Serah replied vaguely, smirking a little as she looked down at her fingers that were playing with the copper button on the front of Lebreau's shorts.

"Of course you're enough for me." The button came undone and Serah leaned down placing light kisses along Lebreau's stomach. "Honestly," She ran her fingers up under the brunette's shirt squeezing and pinching at her already hard nipples."I don't think it should matter.." Lebreau closed her eyes and let out a soft gasp at the girl's wondering fingers. Serah paused and crawled up her lover's petite form and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. "Because in the end, I'm always coming back to you..." She whispered placing another kiss to her lips.

Lebreau kissed back slowly, savoring the sweet taste of the girl's lips against her own, she parted them allowing Serah's tongue to pass through without a struggle.

Serah was quite pleased and deepened their kiss. Knowing that she again, like usual was drawing the brunette in with her words. At least that's what she thought. Lebreau suddenly closed her lips and drew the girl's lip into her mouth before making the kiss into an even rougher one. A moan vibrated in the back of Serah's throat, she pressed and licked her tongue aganist the latter's until she pulled it away.

The pinkette groan out of frustration and chased Lebreau's tongue back into her mouth. The brunette smirked and snapped her teeth down on the other's tounge, hard enough to draw blood. Serah pouted as the rust tasting crimson liquid leaked onto her lips in small droplets. Serah tried to tug her tongue back only to have more pressure applied to it. "Ouch, Lebeau!"

Lebreau still refused to release. "What am I to you, some person that you think you can get a quick fuck from and throw me to the side? "

Serah whimpered as Lebreau bit down even harder. "I have feelings Serah, and weather you know it or not, they're hurt. Because of you." The brunette released the girl's tongue and sighed.

"What happened to you? You weren't always like this. Ever since..you know, you've changed. And not for the better either. What happened?

She thought for a moment as she rolled her now swollen tongue around in her mouth, the bitter rust tasting liquid coating her taste buds. What happened!

_'Life and reality. That's what happened!' _

And it slapped her hard in the face. "Hmph!" She drew her knees to her chin sighing at Lebreau's question that she already knew the answer to. "You're really asking me that right now? Tch, why don't you tell me, you were there.."

"Yea but," Lebreau swiftly sat up but Serah wrapped her arms around her lover's neck. "But now look what you're doing to others." She looked away, becoming completely lost in thought for a brief few seconds, She was right but, this was the only way she was able to express herself. "So you _still_ wanna leave me..?"

"Sorry Serah." She felt the girl suddenly stiffen at her words, and she regretted it. I think, you need to be alone for a bit. Maybe next time, you'll think about your actions before you follow through with them." Her words were harsh but maybe this was the only way to get through to the girl. Lebreau patted the top of the girl's head and stood up. Serah watched, heart racing, aching, and tearing to pieces as Lebreau drew closer to the door.

"But I told you I..." Her words trailed off as she tightly clenched her hands into a fist. "F-fine, go, who needs you anyway, I'll..I'll be fine by myself. Watch!" She said raising her voice at the brunette who just watched the girl in pure amusement.

Lebreau was quiet for a few seconds, then laughed. "That, my dear Serah, is where you're wrong. You'll see. Oh and look at that!" Lebreau motioned over Serah's shoulder. "Seems like, you're new love interest is awake! Hope she can deal with you because I no longer can, good-bye Serah!" With that being said, Lebreau left.

Serah slowly turned around, and narrowed her eyes at the girl. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hand. The pinkette stared blankly. Thankfully, she wasn't naked anymore, now she wore a pair of orange boy shorts and a grey tank top. Why did she have to be so damn nice! Maybe she should just kick the girl out right now. But what would her excuse be? _'Sorry, I'm going through tough times right now, you can't stay here, so go back to the shelter or where ever the hell you came from!'_ This girl was single-handedly ruining her life!"

"Uhm, you okay Serah?" That soft voice, almost sounded as if it were echoing in her ears. Serah, looked at the girl from the side of her eyes. "_Peachy_, why wouldn't I be!" She mumbled dryly.

"W-well you were shaking and I-"

"I'm fine! Alright!"

Vanille flinched back and drew her bottom lip into her mouth. "S-sorry.." She sighed and looked down at her feet, she suddenly felt out of place and wanted to leave.

Serah didn't know what to say. But having the girl think she did something wrong wasn't something she wanted lingering on her mind. "Vanille I..don't apologize.." She walked to the girl's side and placed a hand on her shoulder. A comforting gesture. "I was being a jerk, and uhm, I'm sorry for...that.."

Vanille smiled cheerfully and hung her arms around the pinkette's neck. "Oh no worries, its fine. Yea?" She giggled happily, kissed Serah's cheek and skipped back to her room, closing the door behind her.

Serah held her hand over her cheek where the girl had kissed. Strangely, that spot was tingling and burning at the same time. "What, was that just now?"

The sound of her phone ringing broke her from her state of thought. She scooped her phone up from between the sofa cushions and looked at the caller ID. "Ahh great, what's he want?" She pushed the answer key and put the phone to her ear. "Yes Snow.."

She giggled, and covered her mouth. "Really, that's great!" Her eyes shot to Vanille's room. Said girl had just skipped out humming some melodic tune. Serah's azures glistened, excitement lit in both of them as she motioned for the girl to come to her. "Well actually, she's right here with me!."

Serah huffed and grit her teeth. "Ha, ha..no idiot, I didn't! I'm in enough of a crisis right now!"

She rolled her eyes. "Neh, don't worry about it..."

Vanille blinked and leaned in close to try and hear what was being said. The male's voice on the other side of the phone was broad and loud. But she was only able to pick up on pieces of the conversation.

"Tonight? But It's my off day!"

"No! Someone else can do it can't they? Why don't you ask Lebreau!" She scoffed at the last words, even glared.

"Oh. Oh? I'm so flattered!" She spat sarcastically. Fine I'll be there, see you later Snow." She clicked the end key and placed the phone on the end table. "Hope you're ready," She said turning her eyes to the red head in front of her. you're on the stage tonight, well both of us.."

"Oh great!"

"Hmm," Serah absently rubbed her cheek again. "Maybe we should go shopping for some things, sound good?"

"Yea, great. I'll go get ready!"

* * *

><p>The night hour had come and the two had arrived at the NORA night club, though a whole hour late. Even after an entire day of shopping, Vanille had trouble finding something to put on. In the end, Serah winded up lending the girl something of her own to wear. But now her eyes kept playing tag with the vanity mirror and Vanille's body. It looked nice on her. The way that corset top hugged against her voluptuous figure. Then those ivory legs. They looked so soft she just wanted to-<p>

"Say Serah?"

"Hm.." She finished brushing her hair over her left shoulder, then stood up to smooth out the front of her skirt. The red-head seemed to be flinging around a purple boa while humming the same melodic tune from earlier today. It was annoying but at the same time, a little catchy. "Did you and Lebreau make up?"

"I don't know," Serah placed the brush down and caught a glimpse of those glistening jade eyes through the mirror and faltered. "I uhm..you walked in on the scenario, you tell me?"

Vanille giggled and pranced over to the pinkette in a happy manner. "Well, from the looks of it I would say, no?" She flung the boa around Serah's neck and kept the ends of the feathery accessory within her hands. "But I say, you should keep trying, yea?"

And she thought she was naive at one point, Vanille was worse then she ever was. "What's it matter, I don't need her. I'm fine!"

"Hey you two!" Snow's voice thundered through out the room, startling Vanille but irritating Serah."heard of knocking, Snow?" She mumbled, flinging the feathered accessory from my neck. "Never bothered you before." He grinned and quickly strolled over to Vanille. The red-head seemed almost intimidated and backed up a little as Snow approached her. "Y-yes..."

"God Snow, would you leave, you're making her nervous and annoying me!"

"Geez, so sanppy. But, I always liked that side of you." He winked but quickly gaited to the door when Serah's expression changed to that of a scowl. "W-well you ladies are on in two minutes so be ready!"

**~xxxxxx~**

"Aaaaaand now ladies and gentlemen I'd like to give you our star of the stage," Snow's voice boomed loudly over the microphone.

"You look nervous..relax."

"One of the clubs personal favorites," Snow's voice continued on.

"A-a little.." the red head stuttered, fidgeting with her fingers."

"I present to you,"

Serah smiled and pat the girl on her shoulder. "If you freeze up,"

"Lightning and Vanille!"

"Just, just act like you're performing in front me."

Vanille gasped and bought a hand to cover her mouth, embarrassed at how casual the girl said that. "Wh-what?"

Serah slightly blushed then mentally slapped herself over and over. "I-I meant..I mean..oh just let's go!"

The lights dimmed down to light shades of purple and pink. Light smoke raised from around the stage, setting the mood for the horny idiots in the crowd. The audience roared loudly with excitement as the two made their appearance on stage.

_Lightning _made a slow and teasing strut along the side of the stage, close to the audience, swaying her hips from sides to side and creeping her fingers up the side of her leg. until it paused just below the zipper on the skirt that barely came over her back side. She slowly pulled down the zipper and the skirt fell to the floor. She picked up the article of clothing and tossed it off into the crowd.

Vanille followed the pinkette's movements, but at center stage, keeping in mind what she told her to do. As the music played its tune in the background Vanille arched her figure against the shiny silver pole, deft fingers trailing along her stomach, chest, all the way to her hair, with a mischief smirk playing along her lips. One leg laced around the center pole and with ease she spun her form around it.

_Lightning_ swiftly gaited over to the pole now wearing nothing but a thong and a see threw white camisole over a black lace bra. She snapped her head over her shoulder and flashed a naughty smirk at crowed, but what she saw next nearly made her loose her balance.

In the back, at the bar was Lebreau, but not alone. Accompanied by some woman with wild hair. She was smiling and glancing at Serah every few seconds. The pinkette knew exactly what she was doing, and now that Lebreau noticed, Serah could have sworn she was moving in closer to the woman.

_'Two can play at that game!'_

The pinkette smiled and continued over toward Vanille, Lebreau watching the girl's actions closely. The red-head continued her pole performance, receiving loud cheers from the crowd as she removed the fishnet stockings from her legs and flung them to the side.

The pinkette chanced another glance over at Lebreau only to see her sitting all over the woman's lap now. That was it!

Serah's nimble fingers found their way on to the red-heads body as her figure slowly descended from the pole. In much surprise, Vanille squeeled at the unexpected touching. "Serah! What are you-!"

"Shhh.." The girl whispered "Just," She gently ran her hand along Vanille's back and pulled the ribbon loose that was keeping the corset in place. "Do what," She took the now baffled girl's hand and slipped it into her bra. "I say." Vanille gulped, shuddering a little bit at how the last of the girl's words rolled off her tongue, it sent heat coursing through her body. She nodded slowly in response since her voice suddenly became lost.

Serah's left leg wrapped around the girl's thigh while the other kicked of the floor as both their figures spun on the pole. The audience watched in awe cheering and screaming for more action. Serah's azures locked to the back of the room again to see Lebreau shooting a hateful glare in her direction. She smirked and placed her hand over Vanille's hand that she had put in her shirt. "Squeeze it." She commanded.

"S-say what?"

"Do it!"

As she was told, Vanille cupped the girl's right breast and squeezed it. Serah dropped her head back and let out a sensual moan, biting her lip as the red-head's hand continued to grope the tender flesh.

Her eyes landed on the on Lebreau in the back for a fourth time, and this time she winked, enraging the brunette even further.

Serah dropped her leg from Vanille's thigh and pushed her away from the pole. She daintily walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around that small slender waist and pulled loose the last of the corset's ribbon

"Serah wa-" before she could finish the rest of her sentence Serah quickly bought her arm up across the girl's chest. "Now, now, I wouldn't fully expose you like that..." Her hand softly caressed against the girl's exposed skin, exploring every curve on her perfect body. Vanille's suddenly forgot how to breathe, this was all so embarrassing, but she didn't want it to stop.

Serah had completely forgotten that the crowd even existed her mind was too focused on getting even with the brunette in the back. "Look at me Vanille.." she whispered into the girl's ear and right away, she listened.

She felt so helpless right now, like she was Serah's puppet, being used for dirty entertainment. "Kiss. Me. Vanille." She closed her eyes and slowly moved in. The noise in the background; all the cheering and shouting seemed to dissipate into the air, everything froze. Like no one was present.

The two's lips drew closer and closer until they were just inches away from one another. Serah sighed softly and brushed her lips along Vanille's before closing the gap between them and locking their lips together. She smiled, much satisfaction showing as she glanced back to Lebreau. The fuming brunette's gaze darkening by the second and her temper skyrocketing to the fullest.

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><p><strong>Just in case anyone is confused, Lightning is Serah's stage name. Why? I'm not telling! Hope you liked. :D<strong>

**Review**


	3. Wanting

**A/N: I apologize for the late update for this story. With exams coming soon school has me sooooo tied up it's hard for me to have any time to myself :/**

**Anyhow, thanks lots for the reviews in the last chapter and here's the next! **

**Chapter 3: Wanting**

Serah half smiled as she pulled her lips from the red-head and turned to face the cheering crowd. Vanille's eyes slowly opened and her lips trembled and twitched as they left Serah's It took a minute before the sound of the audiance refilled her ears. She just stared in complete confusion, at lost for words and even a thought. Her eyes scanned across the crowd for a third time and she suddenly jumped back when her eyes became fixed on a familiar pair of brown eyes staring directly at her.

"Le-Le...breau.." She mumbled half terrified at the fury-darkened gaze she was receiving from the brunette. Again, the noise faded into the background and this time, the people with it. Lebreau rose from her spot and walked towards the red head, every step sounding like a thundering echo. Vanille felt like she had crossed over into the Twilight Zone, everything seemed obscured, unclear and threatening..

Lebreau came to a sudden stop and her angry eyes bore deep into the girl's face. "Watch yourself...girl!" She mumbled, as a devious smirk streached across her lips, which made the already terrified girl shudder.

"Vanille!"

"Hn, huh?" She shook her head gently then bought a shaky hand to the side of her head. Everything was suddenly back to its normal state.

"Hello! Are you alright?" Serah called waving her hands in front of the girl's face.

"Y-yea," she mummbled absently. "I'm just...not feeling well.."

"Uhm, alright." Serah blinked and reached to place a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Let's get out of here then.."

When the two arrived back to their home, Vanille went straight to her room not saying a word to the pinkette and Serah did the same. One part of her was estatic, glad that she was successful in getting Lebreau all riled up. Then another part of her felt a pang of jealously that the brunette was even there with someone else.

"So she was serious..." Serah thought out loud. The other times when Lebreau claimed she would be 'through' with the pinkette she would come back the next day claiming she didn't mean any of it and they would make up.

But she didn't. Instead she found someone else...someone else that wasn't her.

**~xxxxxx~**

Vanille pushed gently down on the brightly lit blue button on the wall nearest the shower and the water rained down from the metallic shower head. She stripped away her clothing and hopped in right away, the shower door sliding shut right behind her.

She turned her back to the water, letting it beat down on her skin and wash through the locks of her orange hair as she rested her head against the wall. She shivered a little, she couldn't tell if it was from the chill of the water or because of her nervousness at the moment either way, it sent somewhat of a shock up her spine. Her mind couldn't even begin to process what the hell that little act was that Serah randomly decided to pull tonight. What the hell was she thinking?

Then her own actions made it no better. Letting the pinkette control her like that. But she couldn't help it. Her voice was so alluring and mellow...

She blushed and shook her head, trying to chase those memories out of her mind. The thought of it just made her want to faint.

Then there was that brunette, Serah's overly jealous girlfriend.

Vanille shivered and slapped the sides of her head as the chilling words played back in her head. She didn't even do anything and now she was caught in the middle of Serah and Lebreau's love dispute!

She reached up and pressed the blue button and the shower went off, the door slid open and she stepped out, grabbing the white towel from the back of the door on the way out the bathroom. She shouldn't be scared of that stupid brunette. Lebreau probably wasn't even there. What she saw could of been some screwed up illusion forming out of guilt...maybe? Nothing was going to happen. That's what she kept telling herself.

She pulled open the door and couldn't help but be shocked. There, laying on her bed, was Serah. She flushed red and quickly wrapped the towel around her body. The feeling of dumbness washed over her for not completing such a thing before walking out the bathroom. Then again, she wasn't expecting a visitor to her room. "Y-yes Serah?"

The pinkette said nothing and just motioned with her index finger for the red-head to come to her. She still couldn't move, more like she didn't want to really. "Uhm," The read-head started nervously, turning her eyes to the floor. "S-something the matter?"

Without looking, Vanille could feel those bright blue eyes of her's just staring, burning a hole into the side of her head. Serah slightly narrowed her eyes and slid off the bed. Next thing Vanille noticed, she was right in front of her, standing very, very close.

Vanille usually didn't mind closeness. With her current attire she felt pretty violated. She took a few small steps back to create a small gap between them, but Serah closed it once again. "S-Serah..?"

Still no answer. Serah slowly extends her arm and gently placed her hand against Vanille's face as she pushed her water drenched bangs from her eyes, causing the red-head to stiffen slightly.

"Vanille..." She whispered and placed an index finger under the girl's chin to raise it. Vanille responded with a light gasp at first, not knowing what or if she should do anything. Serah drew back, and observed the girl's perplexed expression. Those soft shimmering green eyes clouded with nervousness, worry, and uncertainty. Vanille was so shocked she couldn't even think straight. Many questions currently lined her mind the main one being _'Was this really happening?'_

Serah pushed Vanille until her back was against the wall, the pressure of her body holding the red-head in place. Serah layed another kiss to her lips forceful, but at the same time gentle. Vanille let out a quiet moan, she rose her arms to Serah's waist and pulled her closer.

Serah broke the kiss, needing to catch her breath before going any further. Vanille the same. There was still no words being traded for either of the two just a breif awkward silence and staring. Serah's eyes dropped to the amethsyt colored towel that Vanille had loosely wrapped around her body. She ran her fingers along the girl's back and pulled the tucked fabric loose and watched it fall to the floor, completely exposing her. She leaned in and dropped her lips to the crook of her neck.

_'You better watch yourself girl..'_

Instantly Vanille pushed Serah away and sank down to the floor while covering her ears. Serah watched on in confusion at the girl's strange actions. "Hey..." She carefully approached not wanting to startle her. "What's the matter?" Vanille was trembling again but this time it looked like she was afraid. But of what? Serah didn't know.

"Look Vanille, if I did anything wrong to you I'm sorry...alright."

"I never said you did anything wrong." She mumbled as she picked her towel up and gaited over to her bed. "Wh-what was that...tonight.."

"Hmm.." She blinked twice and wore the most innocent expression. Something she was good at doing in situation such as this. "What was what about?"

Vanille frowned. Serah was obviously playing dumb which only frustrated her even further. "Forget it, I just don't want to be caught up in you and Lebreau's problems..okay.."

"Huh, Where did that come from? I'd never put you in the middle of something between Lebreau and myself." Serah said with a straight face.

Vanille hesitated for a few seconds then pulled her gaze from the floor and settled on Serah's. She took a deep breath as she blinked away the droplets of water falling from her eyes. "Lebreau...she was...there a-and she looked ticked..." Vanille stated while looking down at her feet.

"O-oh?" Secretly Serah wanted to laugh and blurt out 'I know!' But she had to play it like she didn't know a thing, for the red-head's sake. "Was she now?" Vanille nodded softly while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Y-yea..she threatened me. Told me to watch myself..."

"Ah-haha...heh..." Serah laughed nervously and slowly turned her head to where Vanille was unable to see her uneasy expression. She hadn't thougt ahead of what her actions could get her into and now this poor girl was a target. "Oh you!." She smiled and patted Vanille on the back. "Don't worry about her, she's..she's no one to be afraid of!."

Right, that's what she wanted to beleive. But something about Lebreau..just really frightened the hell out of the red-head. And Serah's not so reassuring words weren't helping..and she was stammering. "Serah I-I'm scared!."

"Vanille I told you don't worry. Lebreau's the last person you should be afraid of. I would know after all."

Vanille sighed and slumped against her bed. "Easy for you to say, you didn't see the look on her face.."

"Maybe not, but I know Lebreau, she's no threat. Or maybe," She was just jealous that you were receiving all of my attention and she wasn't!" Serah smiled and closed her eyes and mentally played back the earlier events.

"Wha!" Vanille squealed and pushed the girl back as she nervously moved further onto her bed, Eyes wide and face crimson red.

The pinkette held her stomach and doubled over in laughter. "Oh relax I'm only kidding!."

"You're not funny!" She huffed and tossed a pillow at the girl who caught it in her hands.

"Sorry, you're just fun to play with!."

Her comment took her back to just a few moments ago. Was she playing with her then..toying with her emotions. "Yea, well it's not nice you know, to _play _with people.."

Serah giggled as she stood up and tossed the pillow back at the red-head. "I see nothing wrong with it, It's entertaining.

"For you maybe, but not others...you should be careful, you may end up hurting somebody's feelings one day.."

* * *

><p>A few days had gone by since that little awkward moment between Serah and Vanille but it didn't stop there. Yesterday the two of them were together and she started asking the red-head the most inappropriate questions. Then the day before that was even worse when the pinkette tried to force herself on her. But strangely she found herself liking it and liking Serah..<p>

_'Wonder what she's planning on doing today...'_ Vanille thought.

Never did she have anyone look her way or even attempt to do the things Serah did. And she had to admit, Serah was pretty damn attractive. Perhaps all of this was a sign. Maybe Serah was trying to show her she had some type of interest in her. That had to be it. There was no other explanation for it. Serah was interested in her! Vanille shook her head and took a few deep breaths. That was silly. Why would Serah want someone whinny, weak-minded, and so unsure, when she had Lebreau. "Oh..." She frowned. Compared to the brunette, she was nothing..

_'You're just fun to play with!'_

Yea that's all she was. No interest. Just something Serah used until she got bored. That wasn't fair. Only if she could come up with a way to prove to Serah that she wasn't some stupid play thing!

"Hey red-head!."

The girl jumped a little bit, startled by the deepness and anger in the man's voice. She looked down at the martini glass that she had over flowed with Ciroc and the mess she had made all over the counter top. "Oh-oh! I'm sorry I'm sorry...I wasn't't...I'm sorry!." She frantically cleaned up the mess and prepared another glass for the male.

Yea right like that would work.."Here you go..." She slid the glass in front of the man but he didn't seem pleased. Even if she tried Serah wouldn't take her seriously and laugh at her...

The man stared down at the glass and took a long hit from his cigar and blew the smoke into the girl's face. "This... isnooot..wha...Isked for!"

The red-head coughed and waved her hand to fan away the rest of the smoke the man so rudely blew at her. The man laughed drizzled the unwanted drink over the girl's head. "I..yasked..fur...a whte fost!"

Vanille didn't realize it earlier but the man was piss drunk. She pushed the alcohol drenched locks from her hair and took a breath to keep herself calm. "Sir you've had enough. I can't allow you to have anymore."

"Dyont...tell meeee...wat I can't ave bitch! I vant...my..driiiiink!" The male nearly hopped over the counter but was pulled back and punched in the face by another. Vanille gasped and peeked over the bar counter to see that the man was out cold.

"Sorry about that, we get idiots like him every little once in a while. But, you alright there Vanille?"

She sighed relieved and nodded contently. "Just smell like alcohol but I'm alright. Thanks Snow.

He gave a small smirk and nodded. "Anytime!." He walked off and Vanille picked up the empty glass and started cleaning it. The lights dimmed down and there stood Serah well, _Lightning _wearing some skimpy burlesque lingerie. The red-head snapped her head up at the stage as Serah began dancing across it, her body flowing perfectly with the music that was starting up in the background.

_**'You're so hypnotizing, could you be the devil could you be an angel.**_

_**Your touch, magnetizing feels like I am floating leaves my body glowing.' **_

_Lightning _strut to the edge of the stage as she faced the crowd. Slowly, she dragged a finger down the center of her stomach and pulled loose the lace holding the waist cincher in place and tossed it into the crowd as the article of clothing fell on the floor.

_**'They say be afraid, you're not like the others futuristic lover.'**_

She stalked over to the pole and pressed her form against it with her back to the crowd. She tilted her head back and coiled her fingers around the pole, fluttering her eyes shut as a sensual moan crept over her lips. In a swift motion, she twirled around the pole. Wrapping her legs around it, she pulled herself up then slowly spun down as the laces of her corset tangled around it.

_**'Different DNA they don't understand you.**_

_**You're from a whole other world.'**_

_**'A different dimension.'**_

Bills rained onto the stage as Lightning's garment exposed the top of her cleavage.

Her eyes met the crowd again as she ripped the corset from her body and tossed it into the roaring audience.

Now all she wore was a black bra, stockings, and thong, with silver heels.

_**'You open my eyes, and I'm ready to go lead me into the light.'**_

Vanille's eyes suddenly became the size of saucers as Serah's hand glided up her arm and settled on her bra strap.

_**'Kiss me.'**_

She hooked one finger around the strap and slid it down her arm slowly.

_**'K-k-kiss me.'**_

Vanille watched on. Each breath becoming heavier and heavier. She reached over to the bottle of Ciroc, never taking her eyes off the pinkette and poured it into a small shot glass she had on the counter top. She tilted the small glass to her lips and took it down in just a few seconds.

_Lightning _released the bra strap, in return earning a bunch of awwww's from the audience. She then turned to the other side of the crowd and smirked. She licked her lips and winked as she met eyes with a certain red-head. She swung one leg in front of the other and slowly rocked her hips from side to side.

**'Infect me with your loving fill me with your poison.**

**Take me t-t-take me.'**

Vanille trembled, a wave of heat creeping across her torso and shot down to her center. The pinkette kicked her heels off and bought her hands up to her thighs and pulled the stockings off.

_**'Wanna be a victim ready for abduction.**_

_**You're an alien, your touch so foreign**_

_**It's super natural. Extraterrestrial.'**_

She waved them over her head and tossed them at the red-head.

Vanille looked away, her eyes couldn't take anymore of the tourture. She was never much of a drinker since she was so lightweight but-

_Gulp._

_Pour._

_Gulp._

_Pour._

_Gulp._

_Pour._

_Gulp._

_Stop..._

_Hiccup!_

_'Pull yourself together Vanille..'_

She lifted her head to see Serah gaiting to the other side of the stage. She turned her head over her shoulder and blew her a kiss. Vanille blushed and looked back at the floor.

_'You're just fun to play with.'_

Damn those words.

Vanille looked up at Serah once again as she continued her dance on stage. It would be nice if she could actually get Serah to take her seriously. But doing that was like trying to get a chocobo and a gorgonopsid to be friends. Impossible.

"Like what you see red-head!"

Vanille dragged her eyes from the stage and to the two brunettes in front of her. She rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her vision. "Uh-huh..very much."

Lebreau slammed her hand against the bar top. "W-well stop."

That wasn't very intimidating..

Vanille chuckled and leaned over the bar counter, the scent of alcohol filling the brunette's nostrils. "_hic_-Is that suppose to scare me?"

"Ick, you're drunk! And it should..you should be scared..."

Vanille smiled and playfully stuck her tongue out. "Well it doesn't..so if -_hiccup-_ou don't mind, can you disappear...I uhm...I don't really-_hiccup_-ike you.."

Lebreau was shocked. The red-head seemed tough while under the influence. "You'd better-"

"Watch myself?" Vanille finished with a smile. "I'm not-_hiccup_-cared of you.."

_'It's the alcohol..'_ Lebreau smirked "You act tough now red-head,"

"It's Vanille!." She added.

"Whatever. Be careful!."

Vanille waved her off and turned her attention back to Serah, watching, wishing, admiring, and wanting. It was too much..

Serah continued with her dance; twirling, twist, arching, spinning and sliding, up down and around the pole. When the song finished she smirked and glanced over to the area where Vanille was and noticed she was no longer there. She scanned the entire crowd for the red-head but she was nowhere to be found.

**~xxxxxx~**

Vanille walked through the quiet streets of Bodum drunk off of Ciroc and the visions of the pinkette. Serah knew exactly what she was doing, and she was doing it on purpose!.

_'She's playing with you..don't even bother..'_

She turned down the next corner and bumped into someone making her fall back on the ground. She bought her hand to the side of her head. "mmph..s..srry..was jst.."

She wearily looked up

**_Gasp..._**

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><p><strong>AN: And that's chapter 3. I don't know when I'll be able to post the next one but I'll try to get it up as soon as I can.**

**Review :]**


	4. Games

**Disclaimer:I don't Own Final Fantasy all credit to Enix**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: <strong>

_**Gasp...**_

Vanille peered up at the figure in front of her to see nothing more than doubles and blurriness. She giggled softly then wobbled to her feet only to fall against the wall.

"Hey, are you alright?" Asked a woman with a soft but husky voice. Though it was pretty clear from observing that she wasn't alright.

"I-I'm fine." Vanille giggled and wobbled over to the woman where she had collapsed into her. The woman tensed at the close contact and tried to push her away but that worked to no avail, the girl was much heavier then she looked. She knelt down and sat the girl on the ground, keeping her arm against the girl's back to keep her from falling over. "Where do you live?"

The red-head outstretched her arm and tapped the bridge of the woman's nose with her index finger. "Booooodhum" She said, elongating the word.

Great, well that really narrowed it down to a thousand locations! She sighed and picked the girl up bridal style. She wasn't going to get anything out of her tonight so it was best to wait until tomorrow. Until then, she'd take the girl to her place. Leaving her out here in her current state was dangerous. Too many predators lurked the Bodhum streets at this hour. "Let's go." She uttered under her breath and headed in the direction of the train station.

When she finally made it to her home, she walked up the driveway and entered her house. She walked towards the sofa and layer the girl's sleeping form upon it. Vanille shifted and laid on her back with one arm dangling off the side of the couch, the other tucked behind her head and a smile still stretching across her lips.

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes, thinking who the hell smiles like that in their sleep. She stood there watching the girl for several minutes. She'd never had anyone in her house before not a stranger anyway, so she didn't know what to do.

Her cerulean hues caught a glimpse of the clothing the red-head was wearing. She could hardly tell earlier because it was so dark.

_'Nice, so I bought home a drunk whore?'_

She thought then turned away and looked out the window, finding herself staring just a bit too long.

She needed to get out of here. First things first tomorrow morning she would take the girl home.

The rays of the Fal'Cie Phoenix shined brightly through the window symbolizing a new day. Vanille groaned and rolled over on her side to face the wall only to fall over on to the floor. As if that wasn't painful enough, she was struck with another pain, right in her head. It felt almost like someone had knocked her over the head with a bat. She grunted and groaned then lay back on the floor. It seemed She was better off that way.

"I suggest you not drink anymore if you can't handle the later consequences of it."

The red head heard a voice speak a few feet away from her. Her initial reflex was to jump up but she remembered her headache and stayed put. From underneath the coffee table she could see a shadow of a figure drawing closer then stopping. Her head snapped up to see a woman with strawberry blonde hair and icy eyes. She wore a hard unchanging scowl that made her freeze up.

_'Was I kidnapped!'_

She could hardly recall the events that took place last night. All she remember was watching Serah tease her up on stage. The rest was a black hole. The woman raised an eyebrow and then outstretched her arm with a glass in her hand. "Here, I knew you were going to need this, drink it up it'll make you feel better."

Vanille stared at it for a few seconds unsure of whether or not she could trust what this woman was trying to give her. For all she knew it could have been poison. It certainly smelled awful. And why was there a celery stalk sticking out of it?

A bitter frown formulated along the pinkette's lips, creasing her eyebrows into a furrowed look of annoyance. "Do you want to stay sick!" She barked.

Her voice was so stern it was scary. Vanille quickly grabbed the glass and slowly drew it to her lips, the awful smell filling her nostrils. What was this? The red head frowned, giving the woman a _do I really have to drink this?_ look. She turned her head. If that wasn't clear enough what else would be?

She took a deep breath closed my eyes and brought the glass to her lips. As the contents coat her tongue and slide down her throat, she almost gags. It tasted worse than it smelled. She moaned as the back of her throat constricted and her stomach twisted. She wanted to puke.

She drank it down as fast as s could then place the glass on the table top. All that was left in the cup was the celery stalk and she certainly wasn't in the mood to chew that after chugging down that disgusting drink. Her stomach churned and the saliva in her mouth started to taste salty.

She knew what was coming next, Vanille stood to her feet and jolted to...wait she didn't know where she was going. She turned to see the kitchen and gaited over to the sink.

"That's...nice" The woman stated dryly as the grotesque grunts from the red-head filled her ears.

Vanille coughed a few times then sank down against the cabinets. Her body was sore and shaky and her throat was burning.

"You're so dramatic.."

The woman said. Vanille slowly rose her head to see the woman was glaring down at her. Well it was safe to say this woman was very ill-tempered. "Put yourself in my position.." She groaned and laid her back against the floor. The cool surface seemed to be the only thing helping her right now.

"Where do you live?" Her voice seemed a bit calmer now but that annoyed edge was still slightly present there.

"Who are you? Did you kidnap me!" Vanille asked, disregarding her question.

The woman's eyes widened in surprise then a small smirk shaped her lips followed by a dry laugh. "If this is what you call kidnap, then helping you must be something far worse. You were drunk when I ran into you, so I bought you here. You should be thanking me instead of jumping to accusations. Had it been anyone else you probably wouldn't have been so lucky." She turned to the sink and ran the water as she started cleaning up the mess Vanille had made.

_'Personal note, NEVER drink again Vanille!'_

She sighed and closed her eyes. She was right after all.. "I'm sorry I mean thank you..I wish there was a way I could repay you for your kindness.."

"There is." She mumbled then shut the sink off ad she turned around to face the girl. Her icy eyes narrowed and that annoyed expression was present again. "Tell me where you live so I can take you home later on."

Vanille sat up and smiled nervously. She was never really good with directions, telling this woman that would probably throw her over the edge. "Uhm I..."

"Uhm, you what..." The woman pushed, her voice grinded at the back of her throat.

"I kinda...don't know."

The woman slapped her forehead then turned to face the window. "You're kidding right!"

"I'm sorry!" Vanille shouted. She noticed she was apologizing more than usual. It probably was because this woman scared her a little. "I-I have someone that can come get me!."

"Oh yea, who!."

"Uh-Uhm, my friend Serah!"

The woman's expression seemed to change up upon hearing that name. She looked...heartbroken. She swallowed hard and turned her back to the girl, a lash of emotions ran through her at that moment. "Serah..._who_?" She whispered.

Vanille blinked twice and tilted her head sideways, bewildered by the woman's odd behavior. "I don't know, she never told me. Come to think of it, you look just like her. Are you two related?" She asked recognizing the uncanny resemblance the two had.

She watched for a few minutes waiting for answer but nothing came. All she noticed was her knuckles clenching against the marble counter top then suddenly she punched the wall..._hard._ So hard it left a hole in it.

_'Yea, I'd hate to be her enemy...'_

"Uhm...are you-"

"I'm fine." She whispered then took a deep breath. "No, I'm not related to Serah, but I do know her. So I'll take you half-way but that's it!"

Vanille nodded. "That's fine I'll know the rest of the way after that."

"Good, go take a shower." Her arm stretched out towards the hallway. Bathroom is down that way last door on the left."

"Thank you miss."

"Lightning." She corrected. "Call me Lightning."

"Oh okay Lightning. My name is Vanille." She giggled then walked down the hallway to the bathroom leaving the woman standing there with a puzzled look.

When she finished from the shower she remembered that she didn't have any clothes besides the ones she had worn the night before. There was a knock at the door.

Vanille pulled open the door and there was Lightning standing there with a clean set of clothes for me. "Take it.."

"Thankyou!" So maybe she wasn't so bad after all. The red head took the clothes from her hand then zipped back into the bathroom to quickly get dressed. It was a dark purple tank top and a pair of black jeans. The tank top fit perfectly but the jeans were a little loose around her waist and leg area. The woman was taller than her after all.

She exited the bathroom, drying her hair with the towel to see Lightning sitting on the couch dressed in blue jeans black loose hoody and dark sunglasses. Vanille looked at her puzzled. It had to be at least 90 degrees outside why was she wearing such hot clothing.

"You ready?" She asked standing up and pulling the hood over her head.

"Uhm, yea..." She stated as she finished pulling her hair through the scrungee. "I'm ready."

**~xxxxxx~**

"Wow this place is sooooooo beautiful!" She exclaimed, turning her head about as she took in the wonderful view the city. "Where are we!"

Vanille couldn't see Lightning's eyes through the sunglasses but she could tell by the way she was looking at her she was confused by her excitement and fascination of the area place. "You've never been to Eden before?"

She shook her head. "No, I've lived in Bodhum my whole life.

"And I suppose you want a tour don't you?"

The girl squealed and grabbed on to the woman's arm. "Will you! will you! Please please!"

"Tch..." Lightning was mentally slapping herself for even bringing it up. She was really being sarcastic when she asked, not knowing the girl was going to take her serious. "Fine, fine..just let go of me will you."

Vanille released her arm and started swinging her own back and forth at her sides. She stared up at the woman, studying her features. She still thought it was weird that she looked exactly like Serah yet they weren't related in anyway. How was that even possible.

"Would you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Staring at me, you're freaking me out.."

"O-oh I'm sorry." She turned her head down to the ground. "I just can't get over how much you look like Serah is all."

"Yea well it's common for people to look alike. It's not that intriguing."

"To me it is.." She said then skipped ahead of her a few steps then stopped when she seen a big black building with several helicopters circling around it. "Say Lightning, what's that place?"

Lightning peeked over her shoulder quickly then back at the girl. "The Guardian Corps Headquarters. It's where the soldier's orders are sent from. But more than just that goes on behind those walls."

"Ooooooh.." Vanille would say, suddenly becoming more interested in the big black building. "So what else happens in there...?"

Lightning grabs the frames of the shades and pulls them off her face, those pools of icy blue narrowing as she would lean in closer to my face. "Deeeeeath..."

"What!" The girl pulled away appalled. She was expecting to see the woman's serious expression but no she was laughing. Not an all-out _"haha"_but she was laughing. So the stoic girl had a humorous side. "I'm kidding."

"Haha.." Vanille said dryly then folded her arms and pursed her lips. "You're just full of surprises I see..dull and serious to humorous. One would think you have a personality disorder.."

"Don't care..." She mumbled.

_'And back to dull and serious...'_

"So," Vanille started cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood again. Lightning was adjusting the sunglasses on her face when she looked at the girl from the corner of her eye. "How do you know Serah.." Lightning was quiet for a long while after I asked that question. Vanille also could have sworn she heard a light growling noise coming from her. "Tch.." She snatched the sun glasses from her face again and shoved them into the pocket of her hoodie. She looked irritated. "Are you really asking me that right now, who doesn't know..._Serah._Let me guess she's fucking you too?"

"What!" She was taken aback by her words. No hesitation. No sugar coating it, just blunt and to the point. Vanille choked and felt intense heat over her cheeks. "N-no!" She frowned a little bit, knowing just how much she wished for such a thing to be true.

"Hmph, that's a shocker. Usually anyone that Serah takes home she has sex with."

She heard the woman say. And here she was thinking that Lebreau's overreaction to how Serah acted was because of her high level of jealousy, when in fact Serah actually is a...

"E-everyone she takes home, so were you one of those people? I'm only asking because I can't help but notice the anger in your voice when you talk about her." Vanille mumbled sadly. Again Lightning had grown quiet, only releasing a soft sigh and casting her eyes in the direction opposite of Vanille's. Probably to hide any emotion that was slowly growing in them and she didn't want her to see. It was then Vanille realized that perhaps something did happen between the two.

No something did.

After all, Lightning said it herself, Serah sleeps with everyone. Did everyone include the woman herself as well?

"I'd rather not discuss it.." The woman said and kept it at just that. Vanille smiled, nodding her head slowly while mumbling _uh-huh_under her breath. Lightning still made no eye contact with the red head but little did she know Vanille had already figured everything out. She covered my mouth and giggled. For someone so hard and stoic she was awful at hiding her emotions.

"You never seen me. Got it?" Lightning said, killing Vanille's brief moment of laughter.

When the girl opened her mouth to question, Lightning cut her off. "Don't worry about why just never mention to anyone that you've seen me, not even Serah. Do. You. Understand!" She spoke throwing a threatening glare the girl's way. Vanille shuddered and nodded instantly, scared that she might do something drastic if she said otherwise. "I-I wont tell anyone..promise."

"Good. Now, let's get back to touring shall we.."

By the time she made it home from her day with Lightning, Phoenix was burning dimly and the sky was of a pinkish red color.

She staggered over to the sofa and absently fell forward on to it, aside from Lightning's hard exterior. She was actually a really nice person underneath it all. She had to say that was the best time she'd had in forever. It may have been just strolling through the city all day but it was enjoyable.

My thoughts were shattered by some laughing coming from the room adjacent from where I was laying.

Serah's room..

The girl froze as another sound filled her ears only this time it wasn't laughing. It was more like cries of pleasure. She swung her legs around the front of the sofa and slowly stood to her feet. The very thought of finding out what was going on behind that door made her shudder. As she drew closer, she was fighting herself on whether or not she should push the door open or leave it shut. The sounds had grown louder now that she was standing directly in front of the door. What made the situation even worse was that the door wasn't all the way shut.

She leaned her head to the side just enough to see through the half opened door. She didn't see anything but the bed and the light purple sheets that were messily hanging off the sides of the bed. She exhaled relieved. It probably was just her imagination getting to her after what Lightning had said.

Just when she was seconds away from pulling away, she seen two naked figures spin by from behind the door and fall on to the bed.

Vanille took another look inside to see the two rolling around on the bed and feverishly kissing each other. A male. She couldn't see his face because his back was towards her. He had blonde hair and a black bandana.

A black bandana and blonde hair..._Snow._

One would think that they were trying to devour one another by the way they were nipping and chewing at each other's mouths. Their movements ceased and Snow rose from the bed with Serah. Her arms circled her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Snow pressed the girl's back against the wall and whispered something in her ear that she nodded to.

The blonde grabbed both sides of the girl's thighs and thrusted against her. Serah's eyes shut tight followed by a loud moan that echoed through the entire room. Snow's pumps seemed to get harder and faster by each passing second, making Serah writhe and over work her vocal chords.

What took place next really threw her off. Serah opened her eyes and looked in the direction of the door and flashed a smirk at her. Like she knew she was standing there the whole time.

Vanille blushed then slowly backed away. Another game she was playing?

But why. Why was she torturing her like this..did she think this was funny..? The girl frowned and turned her eyes down at the bare wooden floors. If this was her way of trying to get her attention it was working. But little did she know it was also hurting her.

It was about ten that night when Snow and Serah had finally finished their sexual play with one another. Vanille had a lot of time to think during the long four hours of hearing those two make noise and slam up against the walls. The sound of an engine drew her attention out the window. It was Snow. He hopped inside his velocycle with a wide grin across his lips and took off to the skies. Vanille was more than happy to see him leave. She sighed then sat down against the wall.

_'Me and Serah...'_

Ever since that one night, every part of her body lusted, burned for her touch again and she can't ignore it. The more she tried the worse it became

She absently stepped outside her room and gaited over to the front door. Yea, she'll leave. That was the only way she could get over this little problem. Get over Serah.

"Where are you going?"

Vanille looked over her shoulder and saw Serah slowly walking towards her. She pressed her index finger against the button and the door slid open. Vanille could see Serah's eyes fog over in fake concern, like she didn't know this was going to happen. "I'm sorry Serah, I appreciate you letting me stay here but I can't do it anymore."

"W-why…" Serah asked, feeling an empty void open in her stomach.

"It's you.." She turned around and faced the pinkette. Her eyes danced just about everywhere in that small area, too afraid to look at the girl. "You.." She paused. "You're notorious for playing head games with people, and sleeping around. Th-then there's me..the girl you _play_ with.. What do you want.. If it's not Lebreau then who..I've taken notice to all the signs you were sending me but I don't know. I don't know what to think Serah. I just wish you'd stop toying with me..it's not fair."

Vanille's eyes finally settle on the pinkette's perplexed ones waiting for an answer. Serah looked as if she wanted to say something but nothing came, just air from her half parted lips. Vanille walked towards the girl to close the gap between the both of them. Nervously she laid both her hands on Serah's shoulders. The pinkette still did nothing, just remain still.

"I-I…I know what I want.." Vanille breathed, leaning in close, just inches from the girl's lips, body shaking and lungs tightening to the point she almost couldn't breathe. "I want you..Serah." She whispered the words barely audible then gently pressed her lips against the pinkette's.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R :]<strong>


	5. Sinful

**Disclaimer; All credit to square I own nothing.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: Sinful<strong>

Serah just stood there in complete shock. She could'nt think. Her mind had gone completely blank and her head was beginning to feel light from the sudden action that Vanille had laid upon her. It was so unexpected.

Vanille's arms snaked their way around Serah's waist and pulled her in closer to her. The feeling of the red head's tongue pressing against her lips made her shudder from the heat that coursed through her. Pressure was applied to her body, pushing the pinkette back further and further until the two of them fell back against the sofa, Vanille on top of her. The girl's lips broke from Serah's and her viridians locked with her ceruleans. Serah was breathless, speechless..her heart was racing out of control, and her body was hot. She would usually react in some type of way to situations like this but she couldn't.

"What's wrong..?"

Serah heard the girl say, though her voice was twisted with seduction.

Vanille bought the back of her hand up to caress against the girl's cheek whilst her lips found their way to her neck, planting fervent kisses along the sensitive skin there. Serah thought she was going to lose it. "N-nothing..." she whispered shakily, bucking against the girl and squeezing her eyes shut.

Serah's hands found their way to the red-heads back and glided along the fabric of her tank top, inching lower and lower until she was tugging at the edge of it. her fingers trailed under her shirt and caressed across her soft smooth skin. The red heads body arched against Serah in delight and her lips suddenly suctioned on an area on the pinkette's neck. Serah gasped and moaned out her name. Spasms of heat shooting from her chest directly to her center. She absently dragged her nails along Vanille's back which in turn made her moan quietly.

Serah sat up and pushed Vanille's back against the sofa and straddled her waist. she smirked then leaned in to kiss the red head only to be rejected when she put her hand out in her face. "No..."

_'No?'_

Vanille wrapped her arms around the girl's waist and rolled them both onto the floor. She was on top again. Before the pinkette had the chance to reach and touch anywhere on her body, she took both of Serah's hands and placed them above her head. When did she become so aggressive? "Wh-what? Vani-" The girl wriggled and tried to break free of the girl's grasp but the more she struggled the tighter her grip became.

Her eyes were clouded over with lust but something else was present there. Anger, but it was so sexy on her. Serah whined and shifted her hips beneath the girl, trying to make some sort of movement in her current state.

Vanille's fingers ran up under the girl's shirt where they started squeezing and groping at her left breast. Serah's head jolted back and she took in another gasp of air to suppress a moan that was building in her throat. "Vanille..." she whispered, flinching as she felt the girl's soft fingers leavening her breast and trail up and down her stomach.

"Yes, Serah?" She stopped her soft movements and looked up at her with a mischievous smile stretching across her lips. One that Serah's never seen on her before.

"Vanille...I want you.."

The girl's smile grew wider at that moment like she was waiting for her to say those words. She arched her eyebrow and leaned in, so close Serah could feel her breath tickling her upper lip. The pinkette leaned her head forward to steal a kiss but Vanille quickly pulled away and giggled darkly. "Oh, I bet you do.."

Her smile faded and her eyes narrowed. Her fingers picked up where they left off earlier but inched lower and into the girl's shorts. She grinned sadistically as Serah's fidgeting continued. Her fingers ran along her inner thigh before stopping right over her arousal through her panties. Vanille looked at Serah and slowly started rubbing then stopped. "N-no don't..Vanille please!."

"You want me that badly huh?" Vainlle asked and Serah nodded right away.

'And if you weren't holding me down right now I would have attacked you already!.'

The grip she kept on her hands had not loosened for any reason. Only thing Serah was able to do was move around and endure this. To her it was so unfair!. "How badly..?" Vanille asked then her fingers went back into motion over the girl's arousal. She moaned out again, twisting, thrusting, and writhing under her. She tried to speak but her voice was lost. Only air was released from her constricted and aching lungs.

"I'm waiting..." The girl's voice rang in her ears again and her fingers pressed harder against her arousal. "Oh god, oh god, oh god!." She tensed. "Badly, Vanille...badly please!." This was pure torture but it felt so so good she didn't want it to stop she wanted more.

Vanille smirked, her movements over Serah's clit ceased again and she pulled her hand out, looking at the mess the girl had made all over her hand. "You're really wet..." She said as she ran her tongue along her top lip. Her grip on the pinkette's hands were finally released. "Wait don't stop. Vanille please I'm close!."

the red head smirked and planted a quick kiss on her lips. "Nope!." She quickly reverted back to that innocent Vanille. Serah was missing the sadistic one.

_'Nope..?'_

Before the pinkette had the chance to open her mouth and protest, Vanille already began talking. Stating that she needed to suffer from everything she had put her through. This was so unfair! Arousing someone then not finish, Vanille was evil!

"Vanille...!" Serah half moaned. Her body was aching for a release, aching for Vanille's attention. "Please." She crawled over to her and hovered her body over the red head's. Her fingers pulled at the fabric of her shirt, threatening to rip it away but Vanille shoved her away.

"No, you need to learn it's not nice to play around with others feelings. Until then," She smirked "You need to be punished." She winked then hopped up from the floor. "Yep!."

"But I'm sorry I've learned my lesson now it's not nice now please..please I'm really really hot Vanille I-I need you..." She knew she sounded so desperate but she felt it wasn't her fault, it was her body. She could feel her insides tightening and her wetness just soaking through her panties to the point she was crossing her legs over one another and rocking back and forth.

"Suuuuuuuuuure you are!. You're just saying that because you want me to fix your little problem. Go take a cold shower..I'm sure you'll be fine after that!." Vanille said with another giggle. "I'm tired." She streached and yawned out loud with a big smirk. "I'll see you in the morning Serah, good night!." With those last words being said, she blew the pinkette a kiss then happily skipped off to her room leaving Serah to deal with her issue alone.

**~xxxxxx~**

Serah groaned as she dragged herself to the kitchen and sat down at one of the three stools in front of the counter. Last night was an awful one and she didn't exactly have sweet dreams either. More like pleasurable nightmares.

_'Vanille...Serah...Vanille...Serah...F-fuck!'_

_Heavy and ragged breathing with sensual cries of pleasure..._

_Lips ravenously latching around any part of skin possible..._

_Both of them tangled up between one another, rocking their hips against eachothers and sending heat rushing through both their bodies._

_"S-serah..."_

_Vanille stammered out weakly, tensing and arching her back as their pace against one another increased. Her finger nails would press hard against Serah's back, scratching up down and across in a very pleasurable pattern._

_"Vanille..gasp__**.**__..Vanille!." She cried out, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she bucked against her._

When it reached that part she would wake up all hot and bothered. She tried to take care of the problem herself but it didn't work. Not to mention that every time she went back to sleep she had the same dream.

She whimpered quietly and crossed her legs, tempted to reach down and touch herself but decided against it. Her eyes shifted to the side of her where her phone was sitting. Perhaps she should choose someone from her contact list and call them up. Didn't matter, first person she saw that's who'd she choose.

Behind her, she heard a door open and cheerful humming. her eyes snapped to the side of her and there, skipping pass her and straight to the kitchen, was Vanille. She was suddenly distracted from her current action. The _evil _girl. But what really drew her attention was what she had on. A black lace bra and panties.

Oh she was going too far now...

"Morning there Serah! How are ya feeling!?" The girl said cheerfully as she reached into the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice.

_'Oh don't try to play innocent with me you damn minx!.'_

Serah's eyes narrowed.

"I'm fine Vanille..."

"Hmmm...you sure?" The red head smiled and leaned forward over the counter top. Her cleavage started spilling out over her bra.

Serah's right eye twitched.

_'Look away Serah...look away..'_

That's what she was telling herself but her eyes would not obey. She wanted so badly to just... touch.

_'Touch Serah touch!.'_

She suddenly started to tell herself. Vanille's eyes lit up with pure amusement. To her this was fun, teasing Serah. She walked around the other side of the counter and in front of the pinkette. Serah blinked and felt herself begin to blush as she observed Vanille's flawless body. For someone to. look that damn perfect it had to be a sin.

Serah's hands tightened against the counter top, trying to refrain herself from tackling the red head.

Vanille smiled then threw one of her legs around Serah's side and did the same with the other. She then circled her arms around the girl's neck.

Serah tensed up and started to quiver. She didn't know if Vanille was being serious or just playing with her.

Playing with her...damn her own actions were being used against her.

Vanille pressed her forehead against Serah's then caught her lips between her own.

Seeah's lips stayed still. Again, just like the night before, she was speechless. Just what the hell was this? What was she up to now?

She pulled away.

"Vanille what are you-"

Her lips crashed into the pinkette's shutting her up. That bitter copper tast started coating her tongue, the taste of blood. She was'nt surprised since the kiss was everything but gentle. She dragged her tongue along her bottom lip to tend to her busted lip but Vanille suddenly pushed her tongue inside her mouth.

The unexpected intrusion surprised her but she wasnt at all against it. Her eyes fluttered shut and both her and Vanille's tongues were battling it out in eachother's mouth. Serah felt a rush through her body. All the emotion and sexual tention she was trying to keep down was rising back to the surface. She laced her arms around the smaller girl's sides, picking her up and setting her on the counter. Her lips broke away from Vanille's and instantly fell to the center of the girl's chest, gently kissing along her clevage.

Vanille sighed softly and dropped her head back as Serah's soft lips kissed along her skin. Her legs tightened around the pinkette's waist and she moaned quietly when Serah's lips found their way to her nipple, tonguing it and teasing it with her teeth.

Both Serah's hands reached up and pulled the straps of Vanille's bra from over her shoulders and unclipped it from the back. The bra slid the rest of the way down the red head's arms fully exposing her breasts. The pinkette began sucking hard on the red head's nipple while her hand squeezed and pinched at the other one.

"Mmmm.." Vanille sighed and tangled her fingers in the girl's hair. Serah's head fell lower, kissing along Vanille's perfect stomach, pass her naval and-

"Ah-Ah!" Vanille grabbed a hand full of Serah's hair and yanked her head up. "Restricted..."

Serah scuffed.

_'Is she serious!?'_

Vanille smiled then pulled Serah's head in and planted a quick kiss on her lips. "That's enough fun for the morning!." She released the girl's hair then hopped down from the counter and reclaimed her bra from the floor. "Later Serah!." She winked then whizzed back into her room, shutting the door behind her.

_'That little...'_

"Ugh, Vanille you're such a tease!." Serah yelled, slamming her fist against the counter top.

Vanille peeked her head out the door and licked her tongue out at the pinkette. "Don't like it when the role is reversed now do ya!." She giggled then shut her door once again.

"Damn...girl.." Serah mumbled. Vanille was evil very evil!.

The buzzing sound of her phone drew her attention. She didn't bother to look over the caller ID and just slid her finger across the screen to answer the call. "What!."

"Geez you don't have to be so mean!." The voice on the other side spat angrily. "Oh, wait I should have expected that from you..."

Her lips twisted up and she suddenly felt a little bad after hearing who it was she yelled at. Her stomach also fell to her feet. It's been some time since she had heard this particular voice, though it was a little deeper than the last time she spoke with this person.

Serah didn't really know what to say. Last time she spoke to this person was when.._she_ disappeared. That was two years ago. Last words she received from him was that she was heartless and only cared about herself. His words hurt but with time she got over it. "Why are you calling me ...I'm selfish and heartless remember. What do you want...?"

"I need to talk to you Serah."

"If it's about that subject I'll pass. That's the last thing I wanna talk about..." Her voice was still very edgy.

"It's your fault! Yet you rather act like nothing happened!. How harsh can you be!?"

"Harsh!? What do you expect me to do, sit around and mourn all my life. Just mind your business and leave me alone!."

She clicked the end key and threw her phone on the floor.

Serah clamped both her hands to the side of her head and began pacing the length of the floor to calm herself. "It's okay, it's okay..." She whispered softly to herself.

"Serah...?" Vanille called, causing the pinkette to halt her pacing. How long was she standing there? Serah was trembling and her eyes were glossy like she was ready to cry.

"Serah what's wrong?" Vanille asked inching closer to the girl who only seemed to back away from her.

"I'm a horrible person..Just leave me alone..." The pinkette mumbled then walked off into her own room.

* * *

><p>"Yes Snow, I'll come in again tonight..."<p>

**_"Good, you'll have the stage for about an hour then I'll need you to work in the back rooms for the rest of the night."_**

"What! on stage and work in the Champagne Rooms!? What happened to Lebreau doing that!? You know I don't like those rooms!."

_**"I know Vanille but I have Lebreau at the bar tonight and unless you can convince Serah to answer my phone calls it's all on you. This place is full tonight!."**_

"She's always working the bar why can't I-"

_**"No, Lebreau is staying where she is and thats that!."**_

"Ugh, fine! Fine! Goodbye Snow!."

She clicked end then placed her phone down on the counter.

It had been a week and Serah did not come out her room for any reason at all. Her phone rang and rang but she did'nt bother to come out and answer either one of them. She had a total of thirty missed calls and eight voice mails. A majority of the calls were from that buffoon Snow, that was no surprise. Serah was missing her days at work. Which left Vanille having to work double shifts every night. Others were from someone named Yuj, Maqui, Gadot and surprisingly that brunette Lebreau.

Vanille placed Serah's phone down on the counter and glanced over at the girl's room door. Through the nights, she'd often hear the pinkette crying or mummbling someone by the name of Claire in her sleep.

Who was _Claire_...?

And who was Serah arguing with on the phone that day...?

She stood from the sofa and walked towards the girl's room door and knocked. Maybe she could talk to her, if she was willing to that is. "Serah..." Vanille pushed the door open and Serah was standing next to the window staring outside. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying for days.

"Serah...?" The pinkette turned her head in the direction of the girl for a split second then glanced back out the window. "What...?"

"What's wrong...why did you call yourself a bad person?" Serah may have done some things to others that were'nt right but never did she think of the girl as a bad person.

"It's nothing Vanille, don't worry about it...just a uhm...personal issue. I-I'll be fine..okay." Serah wipped her eyes with the back of her hand and smiled at the girl. She tried to put on the best one she could muster up but that failed terribly.

Vanille walked over to the girl and grabbed her cheeks between both her hands and smiled. "I'm here for you Serah. Anything you need me for I'm here." She kissed the girl's lips then smiled.

A sly smirk grew across Serah's lips then. "Anything..?"

Yeah she was definetly back to normal now. Vanille grinned wide then giggled. "Anything but what you're thinking!." She kissed the girl again then walked towards the door.

"Tease..." Serah mummbled.

Vanille laughed. "Whenever you're ready to talk let me know. Oh and by the way, Serah, who's Claire?"

The pinkette's eyes bulged. "H-how did you-"

"O-oh, it's just that I heard you mention her in your sleep is all."

_'Great, so my guilty consciences speaks when I'm asleep?'_

"S-she's no one Vanille..just an old friend that moved away.." She lied.

"Oh...well maybe you should give her a call if you miss her that much.."

Serah laughed quietly then shook her head. "R-right Vanille I'll do that, some time down the line..but right now I'm going to prepare for work so, if you don't mind, step out please."

"Awwwwww!." Vanille gushed then threw her arms around the pink haired girl. "I'm sure I'd enjoy it more if you'd let me watch." She purred against the girl's ear.

"Oh no..." Serah pushed her away. "I'm on to your little games now Vanille. Not falling into anymore of your traps. Now," She turned the girl to the door and pushed her out. "I'm going to get ready for work, also, don't worry about working tonignt I'll take care of your shift!." Serah smiled before closing the door.

Well that was a relief she was able to rest for the first time in a week but, now how was she suppose to bother the pinkette?

_ding dong!_

"Hmmm...?" Vanille blinked, wondering who could be ringing the bell at-

Her eyes glanced over to the clock above the stove then back to the door. At 10:55pm. It was a little awkward since no one has come to the door this late before. Well except Snow and that was only for one thing. She huffed at the thought of it but quickly shook it off. It couldn't be Snow, he was too busy at the club.

_Ding dong!_

Lightning maybe? She did say she knew Serah..but Vanille doubted that it was her, remembering how bad she talked down on the girl before.

_Ding dong!_

No use in standing around. She wasn't going to find out just staying here. She walk towards the door then pushed the button. The door slid open and standing there was a tall male wearing a black and grey Guardian Corps uniform and had two other Corp members at his side. his hair was flipped outward but it was a very peculiar color.

Who was he...?

Why was he here!?

"I-I didn't do it!." Vanille squealed, earning a blank stare from the male she had never met before.

The male looked over his shoulder and and waved his hand back at the two men. "Leave me."

"Yes Lieutenant." The two men stepped away and the male stepped in. He took a few steps forward, ignoring Vanille's presence and looked around. "Where's Serah...?" He finally asked then turned around to face the red head.

Vanille tensed up a little. The air in the room had suddenly grown heavy with this man here. And what did he want with Serah? Was it possible that he was one of her sex buddies!. Vanille shook her head. He looked to serious.

The red head gasped and covered her mouth. What if he was here to arrest Serah! He was of the Guardian Corps after all. This was bad! She had to play dumb. "Uh-Uhm I don't know! She's not here. She stepped out earlier today and uhm..." She looked behind her to make sure Serah was not coming out of her room. "She has not returned yet..yeah that's it.." She new she was a bad liar a _really really_ bad liar. But she couldn't let this man of the law take Serah away!.

The male stared long and hard at the girl. Vanille gulped twice and tried to keep a straight face. "Very well then," He trekked back to the door and pushed the button. "Tell Serah I stopped by and I will be back. Have a good evening miss."

When the man exited the house and the door slid shut, Vanille finally released her breath. "That was close!'" She ran over to the window and peeked outside to see the male and his two men taking off to the sky on their velocycles. "Thank Eden.." That guy looked soft and harmless bit he was very intimidating. Almost like Lightning..

Serah's door opened up and the pink haired girl walked out. "Alright Vanille Im-"

"Seeeeeerah!." She ran to the girl and leapt up into her arms. "A Guardian Corps man was looking for you! I think he was here to arrest you! He was really scary but I told him you weren't here and and and he said to tell you he would be back! Oh Serah you have to hide!."

"Relax.." She tried to pry the girl off her but she was not moving. "What did he look like?"

"Well he had an all black uniform on, pale skin, green eyes and spiked flipped out hair that was silver!."

Serah gulped then bit down on the inside of her cheek. "No need to worry, that guy isn't trying to arrest me. But, for future reference, next time the Guardian Corps come to my door Vanille, or that guy at all, don't answer it..."

"Alright, Serah..but what does he want then?"

"That falls in the category of things I do not wish to discuss. It's a personal issue.."

Again..? Vanille tilted her head to the side. Serah and her personal issues. Most people would be more than happy to discuss things they want to get off their chest but not Serah. Vanille started to think she was hiding something.

The argument she had on the phone...  
>Someone named Claire..<br>Then the visit from the Guardian Corps guy...

"Alright Serah, if you say so." Vanille felt that this was more than some personal issues..something was going on. It wasn't making much sense right now but if all these strange happenings continue it would only be a matter of time before there was some light shed on the truth.

* * *

><p><em>"Tomorrow."<br>"Tomorrow."  
>"Tomorrow!"<em>

_Why can't it be today! I'm tired of sneaking around like I'm doing something wrong with you Serah, so either you tell her today or I'm finished!."_

_"Just give me a little more time please...I want to tell her but doing it today is not right Lebreau, today's her birthday it would be too much for her..." The pinkette said, an uneasy feeling clawing at the insides of her stomach as the brunette continued to pressure her. She __**loved **__Lebreau but there was someone else she __**loved**__ more than her. Someone that Lebreau could never top. She's been wanting to tell her but never could. Now that Lebreau was issuing her an ultimatum she had no choice in the matter._

_The brunette rolled her eyes and huffed. "Hmph, so what, now's a greater day than any other!. The brunette said. "Trust me she'll be just fine, she handles bad news quiet well from what I've witnessed!."_

_Of course she did when she was in front of others that is. That's just how she wanted people to see her. Strong and unaffected by anything. But there was so much more that Serah knew about her that Lebreau didn't. One being how deeply she loved Serah. "Lebreau, you don't understand.."_

_"Yea, yea I know you don't like hurting people's feelings Serah but, that's just how things have to go sometimes. I'm by your side all the way alright." The brunette held the girl's face between the palm of her hands and kissed her._

* * *

><p>Anxiety was beginning to overwhelm her. Hell it felt like it already had. Everything she had thought was pushed to the back of her mind was suddenly flowing back to the front. She took in a deep breath and glanced up at the sky. Her heart was beating, fast and every beat was a pained one.<p>

_'You're so heartless, you care about no one but yourself!.'_

"Stop it..." She shook her head violently, trying to shake the encroaching memories from her mind but they would'nt go away, every horrible memory, flashing quickly across her mind like a brief movie clip. She could hear them loud and clear like they were occurring right there and then.

* * *

><p><em>"Wh-what's going on here..?"<em>

_Neither one of them heard the door open, or heard her enter. Just the sound of her voice, the evident saddness that was there, was enough for Serah to feel so low. Lebreau's lips broke away from Serah and her eyes settled on the older pinkette standing in front of her. She smirked and looked back at Serah who was staring down at the floor. "Go ahead Serah, isn't there something you need to tell her?"_

_The girl slowly tore her eyes from the floor and looked at the woman almost wish she had not. Her expression was'nt that usual hard mask that she always wore. It was much different. Too foreign to Serah. She just wanted to go crawl under a rock._

_"Lightning I...it's not..I.."_

_"What did I do...?" The woman's eyes fell towards the floor, her bangs hanging over her eyes, sheilding the tears that fell from them._

_The sight burned a hole deep in the girl's heart she reached out and grabbed the woman's wrist and inched closer, with caution. The woman was shaking more and more the closer the girl became. Her fist tightened but Serah did not acknowledge it. "I-I've been needing to tell you something for a while now, I just didn't know when the proper time would be..." Serah looked over in the brunette's direction with pleading eyes but Lebreau huffed and looked in the opposite direction._

_"I.." Serah threw her arms around the woman's body and pulled her in close. She stiffened. "Claire, I love you..I love you more than anything but I-I also love Lebreau."_

_A stab to the heart that was. More like a thousand stabs really. Lightning could feel her heart explode and bleed out endlessly. Serah was everything to her. Without her, she felt no need to live._

_"I-I didn't want to have to tell you like this but-"_

_"Shut up..." She said in a weak whisper._

_"Huh.." Serah looked up at the woman, her expression was no longer sad but disgusted. She was glaring at her. "You love me but you throw this at me...save what you have to say Serah..I don't want to hear it.." Lightning grabbed both the girl's shoulders and shoved her away. A part of her felt bad and the other felt nothing but betrayed._

_She snapped her head in the brunette's direction, shooting a hateful glare at her as she made her way. "A-and you..you just couldn't stay away.."_

_Lebreau shrugged and waved the woman off. "Can't help that she came to me. She started it. Think I was just going to turn her down?" Lightning pulled back her fist threatening to thrust it forward and knock the brunette out but something grabbed her arm. Serah.._

_"Claire stop it!." Lightning pulled her arm from Serah's grasp and dropped it back to her side. Both Serah and Lebreau was staring at her. She felt so out of place here, in her own home. Serah didn't love her anymore, well that's the way it seemed. The words I love you that fell from her lips meant nothing to her anymore because they weren't true, just empty words. Lightning had no more feeling, she was numb. What else could she do now but leave... "You're awful, disgusting, and low. I never want to see you again, stay away from me!."_

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry Claire..I'm so sorry..." She sobbed, as she wiped away tears that were flowing from her eyes. Too busy drowning herself in her sorrows, she had no idea that she had wonder off into an ominous location. Serah looked around felt a chill creep over her body. There were rectangular stones placed everywhere; The cemetary..<p>

Serah looked down at the grave stone in front of her and the name that was engraved on it; Claire Lightning Farron.

**~xxxxxx~**

Vanille sat on the sofa flipping through the channels on the television but there was nothing good show. Just sports and other dumb shows that didn't draw her attention in the least.

She flicked the tv off and tossed the remote to the side of her. In all honesty she'd rather be at work now more than anything. Being home alone with nothing to do was a bore. If Serah was here she could come up with a thousand and one ways to tease her some more. She closed her eyes and smiled at the thought.

She wanted Serah so badly. She could have just given herself to the pinkette that one night and they could of had hot meaningless sex with each other but that would have been it. She wanted more than just that. She got her crush to admit she wanted her but that wasn't enough, she wanted her to actually like her...

Her phone rang, the tune mellow and gentle as the sound bellowed through the living room area. The red head reach over to the coffee table and snatched up the phone. "Hello!." She said cheerfully to the person on the other end.

"Where are you? it's 1:30 you were suppose to be here at 11:00!." It was Snow. A voice Vanille wasn'g too fond of.

"Uhm, I'm at home, Serah said she would come in and handle both our shifts."

"Yea, well she has not shown up at all!"

"Wh-what!?." She was suddenly worried. "She left like two hours ago, and she's not there?"

"No where in sight..." Snow said.

Vanille was worried, Serah did leave the house a little out of character.. "I'm going to go look for her Snow I'll get back to you when I find her."

"I can't let you go by yourself Vanille, I'll meet you halfway here and we'll look togethor."

"I'll be fine! Good -bye."

She quickly hung up and dialed Serah's phone. What transpired next, made Vanille cringe. Serah's ringtone played loudly through the room. Over on the counter top was her phone. This was not good. She grabbed her jacket and shoes and rushed from the house quickly..Serah could be anywhere and she had to find her quick to make sure she was alright.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Confused? Don't worry It'll all come together as the story progresses. Anyway, leave me a review tell me what you thought, how you liked it, and even if you didn't like it say something. Criticism is what makes my writing better. :)**

**But see you all next time!**


	6. Love Triangles and Secrets

**Chapter 6: Love Triangles & Secrets**

* * *

><p>"<em>You really have nothing to say!?" A little silver haired boy said to Serah who appeared to be tuning him out. The male looked to be around the age of seventeen with fair pale skin and striking green eyes. He was also a<em>_ head or two taller than the pinkette._

_It was a rather dull and stormy afternoon which was rare weather condition for the town of Bodum. However, the weather was perfect for the occasion that was taking place on this day; a funeral. Everyone had gathered to pay their last respects to a friend, companion, or for Serah, a lover__._

_Many shed tears and some were shocked. Others just mourned in silence. Serah was one of the silent mourners. Which drew the silver haired individual beside her to think she was being cold hearted. She could hear the angry remarks that he threw at her but she ignored him. She could see the tears of sadness running from his now red eyes but she couldn't think of anything to say to him. She felt when his hands grasped her arms and started shaking her but still there was no response from her, just an empty expression and a lifeless stare. _

"_I don't see how you can live with yourself.." The upset boy spat. "__You're a callous person. Did you ever stop to think about the feelings of others around you? No, because you're so insensitive. You deserve no one.__"_

"_Hope I-"_

"_Save it!" He said then walked pass the girl._

_She sighed deeply then looked back outside the window. A flash of lightning ripped across the sky and the rain was picking up. She could care less what others thought of her at this point because nothing else really mattered__.__ Hope and Lightning were very close so his out__-__lash on her was no surprise but she didn't care. All that was going through the girls mind is how this was her fault. She looked over to the front of the church and Lieutenant Amador was giving his memorial speech. Her eyes fell upon the closed casket and she swallowed hard. She wished that her lover would just pop up out the casket and say "Gotcha!" but she knew that wasn't going to happen. She was..dead._

"_She's..dead.."_

_Yea she knew that already but just saying it out loud to herself really made her realize that her lover was actually gone. Not for a little while, but for good._

**~xxxxxx~**

"Claire…" Serah whispered as she reached out and touched the marble gravestone, tracing the letters that spelled her lover's name with her index finger. "I'm so sorry…" She stood to her feet and slowly staggered out of the cemetery gates.

"Serah!."

"Huh…?" She stopped abruptly and hid up against the cobblestone column. That voice, she knew who it belonged to. She peaked her head around the corner and sure enough it was the red-head walking through the streets calling out her name. Vanille drew closer to her location and Serah quickly dashed back into the cemetery and hid behind one of the gravestones.

"Serah!" Vanille continued to call. "Serah where are you?" The pinkette would have answered but she really didn't want to be found. At least not right now. She didn't want Vanille to see her this way. When the red-head was facing in the other direction, Serah took the chance and swiftly ducked around the corner.

"Where could she be..?" Vanille mumbled.

It had been roughly two hours since she had left the house in search of Serah and there was still no sign of the pinkette anywhere. Vanille checked every area she thought the girl would have possibly ran off to; the park, the NORA bar, some of Serah's friends had seemed to be there but she wasn't and they had not seen her either. The beach, the red head even went as far as checking the train station but the pinkette wasn't there either.

She sat down on one of the two benches at the train station and released a quick sigh. She was trying to keep herself from thinking the worse but that wasn't working, only the worse came to mind. What if Serah was kidnapped, being held hostage, or the worse thing..raped by some sicko!. "Oh..oh no!." She dropped both her and Serah's phone on the ground and bought both her hands up over her cheeks. She had to calm down. Serah was fine. She could take care of herself. She had to keep reassuring herself of that though it really wasn't working at all. Until she seen Serah in person and knew she was alive and unharmed, she was going to be like this for a while.

The redhead picked up the phones and stood up from the bench. She took a quick look down at the time seeing the numbers switch from 3:57 to 3:58. It was very late. She didn't know it earlier but she was tired. She also noticed that she had four missed calls from Snow as well. He probably was just as worried as she was not that she cared in the least.

Vanille turned on her foot and started in the direction that lead back to the house. Maybe Serah was back home by now and probably wondering where she was. Vanille smiled at the thought but it soon faded. What if she wasn't..? She sighed. This was getting a little too out of hand, if Serah wasn't there then she'd just call up the Guardian Corps and let them do an all-out search for the girl. She had remembered that Serah stated she hated the Guardian Corps for reasons unexplained, but they were Vanille's last choice. At least they would have a better chance at finding her.

"Well well, what are you doing out here all by yourself. And so late at night?"

Vanille was startled by the voice and she came to a halt. A chill climbed its way up her back and she could feel the small follicles of hair stand up on her neck. Swiftly, she turned around to see a figure standing under a flickering light post at the end of the street. The light hummed loudly then flicked off for a brief second then flicked back on. The silhouette was drawing closers.

"I-I'm not alone..I..my friend is waiting for me at the end of this...street so..you'd better...better not mess with me.."

Vanille shuddered and slowly started drawing away from the figure. She knew her little threat didn't sound convincing and that was bad. Her little threat didn't seem to faze the person either for they only laughed at the evident fear in the girl's voice. Vanille's first thought was to turn, run and scream for help but that action was cancelled when her back bumped against two bulky figures. Vanille took a deep shaky breath and looked up to discover two men scowling down at her. One grabbed her arms while the other connected their fist with her stomach. The red head let out a loud shriek of pain and slumped forward. She coughed a bit and started quivering out of fear. Tears brimmed in her now blurred eyes but they didn't fall.

She could hear the other that was standing at the far end drawing closer and closer until they came to a stop right in front of her.

"I told you to watch yourself girl.."

How she wished this person in front of her right now was Serah. That way they could both go home and forget about this horrible night. But it wasn't the pinkette at all. An index finger pressed against the base of her chin and pushed it up, forcing the red head to come eye to eye with one of her attackers; Lebreau. Seconds after, a slap followed.

Vanille's head jerked to the side and her cheek burned and stung. The tears that were present in her eyes finally fell. She was scared, her eyes didn't show it much but from the way she was shaking in the grasp of Lebreau's two friends her fear was obvious.

"Please..please whatever I did I'm sorry...just don't hur-." One of the men reached up and grabbed Vanille's neck tightly and painfully, cutting off my ability to breathe. The red head's eyes grew as she gasped for air. The thought of death suddenly sat on the edge of her mind. Everything in her field of vision became obscured and blurry.

A smirk tugged at the brunette's lips, enjoying the helpless state Vanille was now in. "You bought this upon yourself red-head." She heard the brunette say. "Now either you co-operate with me or I'll give you hell from here on out, your choice. Don't be stupid.

The male that was squeezing Vanille's neck released her so she could breathe while the other violently shoved her to the ground towards Lebreau. She coughed harshly and in took a lot of air as she struggled to catch her breath. "Wha-what do you w-want me to do..?" She stammered as she gently rubbed her fingers across bruised and sore flesh under her neck.

"Stay away from Serah..." She said firmly staring darkly and dangerously at red-head.

Vanille stared down at the asphalt and continued to take it breaths of air. She should have seen that one coming. "N-no.." Vanille found herself saying, then shuddered right after, knowing that her words could be seconds away from getting her seriously hurt or killed. But she didn't care, she wasn't about to sit here and cower down to this brunette. She liked Serah and if Lebreau had a problem with that, tough. She said it again and this time with confidence. "No. She doesn't, want you..so why don't _you_ just back off!?"

A kick to her ribs is what she received. Vanille whimpered and fell on her back. A severe pain crawled up her side as she curled up in the fetal position, rocking slightly to rid the pain. She really felt like she was about to die. The men quickly snatched her up from the ground. The girl grunted as their roughness only made my aching body feel worse. One held her head up, forcing her to look at the brunette and the other twisted her arms behind her back. The lone street light continued to flicker in and out like her conscious was currently doing.

"Wrong answer red head.." She said then nodded at the two men. The one holding Vanille's head in place drew his fist back and thrusted it forward to connect with the side of the girl's face.

Vanille closed her eyes and braced herself, waiting for the hit to connect but it never did. Instead she felt her body being jerked back and a loud cry of pain followed.

"You get a kick out of beating on defenseless people?" A husky voice spoke. The street light flickered off and all the girl could hear were screams and cries in the dark followed by some shuffling and the sound of punches.

Vanille took the time to crawl over into a nearby corner and pull her arms over her head for those few seconds. She just whimpered and rocked back and forth to ease her aching body. The light flickered back on and Vanille lowered her arms. It was hard for her to see much since everything looked obscured and blurred due to her wavering conscious. But she could hear grunts and whines coming from her attackers. The one responsible for their brutal beat down was standing in front of her in a protective stance. She couldn't see who it was because the figure wore dark clothing and the light was also blinding her eyes.

"Tch..who the hell-" Lebreau started until the person in front of Vanille pulled the hood from over their head to reveal their face.

Lebreau's eyes suddenly bulged like fear had struck her. "G-g-g-g-GHOST!." The brunette screamed and turned to dash off in the other direction but the figure quickly grabbed her up by the collar and slammed Lebreau hard against the brick walls. "Lemme go lemme go!"The street light flashed back on again, this time flickering like a light that's fuse was to burn out any second. The back of the figure's hand slapped twice against the frightened girl's cheek and she suddenly froze up. Electric blue optics met with horror struck brown ones. "If I catch you bothering her again I'll kick. Your. Ass…"

"I-I won't, I won't bother her anymore I promise!" The figure released Lebreau and shoved her to the ground. The brunette quickly scrambled to her feet and dashed down the alleyway without a second thought of even looking back.

The figure turned around and knelt down beside Vanille. The red-head was barely conscious, but before she blacked out, she was able to see the face of her savior. "L-lightning..."

"Tch, stupid girl..." Lightning picked her up from the ground and carried her out of the alleyway, the lone street light finally burning out.

* * *

><p>Vanille's eyes slowly peeled open to the morning light that was full blown shinning in her eyes. A sense of De Ja Vu crept over her. This same incident happened not too long ago, the night she decided to get drunk and Lightning had come to her rescue just as she did the night before. "Ah!" Vanille quickly sat up but instantly went back down on the bed, hissing in pain.<p>

It felt like she'd been hit in the stomach and ribs several times with some blunt object. Then there was her arms and neck that were just stiff and sore. It all started coming back to her; that brunette.

She sighed. She was the only one to blame for being attacked. First, she shouldn't have gone out by herself in the middle of the night. Secondly, she probably wouldn't have gotten so beaten up if she would have agreed to stay away from Serah like the brunette asked. She was happy with the choice she made to stand up for herself last night, but now that she was thinking about it, she felt stupid. Serah was a girl notorious for sleeping around and playing with people's emotions, and here she was, bruised and beat up because she boldly refused to keep away from someone that probably doesn't share the same feelings she does. She was stupid. Serah wouldn't have done the same for her.

She sat up again but this time a little more carefully to not trigger that awful pain she had felt just seconds ago. The red-head's eyes traveled around the room, taking in everything around her, which wasn't much. A dresser, two night stands, a bathroom and a bed. Then all white walls. Everything was so bland and depressing.

Vanille lay back down against the bed and turned towards the window. She had to get out of here and go home to see if Serah was there and alright. But why did she care? Serah probably wasn't worrying about her. She frowned and pushed her face into the pillow. The more she questioned Serah's feelings towards her, the worse it made her feel.

Her eyes were drawn to a silver frame faced down on the nightstand. The girl blinked twice. It was none of her business why the picture was laying down but she was still curious to see what was in it. She reached out a hand to grab it but the door swung open and in walked Lightning. Vanille quickly drew her hand away from the nightstand and back under the covers. She giggled nervously then flashed a weak smile at the woman. Lightning only raised an eyebrow at the girl's odd behavior and sat down on the bed. "How are you feeling?" She asked in a morose tone.

"Huh? Oh! Uhm…sore.." She said and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Ow.." She pouted.

"I bet. If I didn't show up who knows what would have happened. What were you doing out there so late in the night anyway?" She was calm but Vanille could hear the little bit of edge in her voice. She was mad.

"I-I…" She didn't know what to say. She was a little intimidated by the woman and upset about other things currently occupying her mind. "I uhm, I was looking for Serah…"

There was a silence. Vanille and Lightning were both staring directly at each other, though it didn't seem like Lightning was staring at her. More like the woman was lost in thought and staring off into space.

"Looking..looking for Serah?" The woman's voice sounded strained like she was trying to keep herself from sounding concerned but she was failing. "Where did she go?" She swallowed hard and was now looking directly at the girl.

"She uhm.." Vanille was a little shocked. Lightning was one of the last people in all of Cocoon that would show concern about anyone. Especially towards Serah of all people. She recalled the last discussion her and the woman had about Serah. Lightning talked so badly about her, Vanille almost though she hated the girl. But looking at her right now, how anxious and worried she was, really boggled Vanille's mind. "Uh..I don't know. She was supposed to show up at work last night but Snow said she never made it."

Lightning quickly stood up and walked towards the window. She didn't notice it but she was breathing pretty loud and she looked distressed. Serah was out there somewhere probably in trouble and she was here. Not that she cared right, or did she? Lightning turned for the door, ready to bolt into the streets and find the missing girl until something crossed her mind.

'_Claire, I love you..I love__ you more than anything but I'm still in love with Lebreau.__'_

Lightning drew in a deep breath as her chest started to tighten up. Her hand fell from the knob and back to her side. She took in another deep breath and leaned her body against the door. The sudden urge for her to go out and search for the girl slipped away along with the concern. Everything she was feeling earlier vanished and turned to hurt.

"Lightning..?"

There was no answer. All Vanille could hear was deep breathing and some sniffling. The red-head was more than confused now. She was lost. Lightning was acting odd. Just like last time when she mentioned Serah's name, the woman's mood suddenly changed. Vanille sat up carefully and slid out of the bed. She made slow steps towards the woman until she was standing directly behind her. She wasn't sure from where she was sitting earlier but now that she was this close she could see. Lightning was upset. The girl knelt down behind the woman and wrapped her arms around her sides to try and comfort her.

Lightning swiftly turned around, alarmed by how the girl was invading her personal space but she didn't move. She just allowed the warm embrace to continue. Vanille's eyes stared up at Lightning as tears trickled down the usually stoic woman's cheeks. She felt so bad for her. Vanille may have been oblivious to what triggered the woman's sadness but she had a small hunch that it had something to do with Serah. "Lightning, what's wrong?"

The woman was silent. She never was one to express her feelings to anyone, finding such a thing to be of weakness and just beneath her. Keeping them to herself was good enough. Lightning placed her hands at the girl's shoulders and gently pushed her away. Rising to her feet, she opened the door. "It's personal.."

The door shut quietly and Vanille was now in the room by herself again. The girl blinked twice then scratched at the back of her head. "Awkward…" She said aloud as she walked towards the window. Serah had said those same words when Vanille had asked her about a number of things. It was a little weird how the two acted so much alike, they looked identical, but they weren't related?

The sound of a reeving engine pulled the girl's attention. Outside the window, she saw Lightning hop into her velocycle and zoom off into the sky. Another thing that puzzled Vanille's mind was Lightning's choice of clothing. She noticed the last time she was here, that the woman wore a dark hoodie and in hot weather. Before she left just now she had on the same hoodie. The girl arched an eyebrow and tapped her finger against the base of her chin. Maybe she didn't like the sun? Vanille tilted her head a bit then started to giggle. That was a silly conclusion. The woman's room was practically bathed in the sunlight so that was ruled out.

Vanille groaned quietly as she walked back over to the bed and laid down. Trying to figure Lightning out was not easy. The woman seemed very conservative about what she let people in on. Just like Serah. At the rate things were going, this could take forever and a day.

_Bzzz_

_Bzzzzz_

Vanille glanced over to the small little table to see her phone was ringing. On the caller ID was Snow's picture. Quickly, she reached over and pulled the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Vanille! Thank Eden! Are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm fine Snow." She stated. I'm in Eden, at Lightning's apartment."

Snow was quiet. "Eden?_ Lightning_ doesn't live in Eden she lives in Bodum."

"What are you talking about I'm at her place righ-"

Vanille grew silent and took a moment to think about what she just said. Snow was right. _Lightning _did live in Bodum. Serah, who's stage name was _Lightning_ that is. Then there was this Lightning who lived in Eden. "What…?" Was this some coincidence that they both used the same name?

"Vanille?"

"Huh, oh I'm here Snow." She giggled. "I was just joking around with you to see if you'd catch on is all I know where _Lightning_ lives. Just messing around. Haha." Apparently Snow didn't get that she was actually talking about another Lightning and not _Lightning. _She was glad that he didn't. If Lightning ever found out that she slipped up and told someone she had seen her, the thoughts of what the woman would do is something she didn't even want to imagine.

"Yea well stop kidding around. Tell me where you are so I can come get you. By the way, did you meet up with Lebreau last night, I had sent her and two others out to search for you but they never came back."

The red-head shuddered, just the mentioning of that name gave her goosebumps. "N-no, I didn't see her." She lied. "A-anyway, don't worry about me Snow, I'm fine. Uhm, what about Serah..anyone find her yet?"

"Actually, yea that's why I called." He cried out, his tone suddenly more cheerful now. "Yuuj and Gadot found her this morning, she's home at the moment and a bit out of it. But she's alright."

Vanille exhaled and smiled. Now she could relax knowing the pinkette was safe."Good to hear, I'll be home soon to check on her. Ciao!"

"Wait Vani-!"

She clicked the end key and tossed the phone to the bottom of the bed. Just then, the door opened and Lightning walked inside and directly to the window. From the looks of it she seemed better than when she had left out earlier. But really she was still feeling in the same down mood.

It had been a while– two years since she'd even had the smallest thought about Serah. She had promised herself after she walked out that day that she would forget about the girl. It came with great difficulty but as the months and years went by, all the feelings she had for Serah had slowly faded away. So she thought.

Then she met Vanille. An innocent girl she found drunk in the streets of Bodum that claimed she knew Serah. Maybe if she would have just left her in the streets that night, then she probably wouldn't be feeling the way she's feeling now. Ever since that girl mentioned Serah, Lightning has been everything but herself lately. She's been up later than usual, roaming through the streets during the evening, having awkward dreams, and has turned into a big emotional wreck! She thought she had it all together but apparently not.

She frowned and bit the corner of her lip. Her eyes turned down at the window sill as they started to burn and sting. Great, here she was becoming all emotional again. She couldn't help herself. That's just what the thoughts of Serah did to her. It hurt; she could still feel the pain in her heart from when the girl stabbed her. But deep down, no matter how much she disliked her or wanted to forget about her, she could not. Lightning still loved Serah, and it angered her.

"Uhm, Lightning are you-"

"I'm fine." She said firmly, with her back still to the girl. She was everything but _fine_. Inside, Lightning was falling apart and losing her grip on what little sanity she had left. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep this façade up. It was already slowly crumbling away.

"O-kay.." Vanille said slowly. The way the woman was acting told the girl differently. But who was she to try and force the truth out of her. Besides, Lightning barely knew her and vice versa. This woman wasn't about to spill her feelings out to a total stranger nevertheless did it hurt to try? The red-head smiled and walked behind the woman and embraced her. She knew the woman probably hated it by the way her body stiffened up. But at that moment she looked like she could use one. "You say you're fine but, are you really?"

Why was she so concerned? Is what swam through the woman's mind when the girl asked her that question. Lightning closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window. She started thinking less about how much she hated this kind of contact and thought more about how much she actually missed it. It was gentle, warm, and caring. It was almost as if it washed all her worries and problems away. She felt a little at ease, calm. The woman shifted and turned so that she met eye to eye with the red-head. But who she seen wasn't the red-head at all, but a pink haired girl almost identical to herself.

Lightning placed both hands on either side of Vanille's shoulders and gently pushed the girl away. "I need to be alone right now." She said in a sombre tone. As Lightning passed by and made her way towards her bed, Vanille just observed. "I just have one more question.."

Lightning reached over to her nightstand and picked up the faced down picture frame within her hands. She was hardly in the mood for the Q&A game with the girl. She'd had a long day and just wanted it to be over. She sighed. "I'm listening.." She mumbled as she stared into the photo.

"Who's…Claire?

Lighting dragged her eyes from the photo and looked at the girl blankly.

"Claire is…."

* * *

><p>"Serah.."<p>

Vanille called, out of breath. She stepped inside the house and immediately sat down on the floor. She was fatigued, tired, and her body was still very, very sore. "Serah." She called again as she picked herself up from the floor. It was dead quiet, besides the sound of two voices coming from the next room. "Serah, you here?" She walked into the den then quickly stepped back against the wall when she saw a certain someone she wasn't too fond of, Lebreau. After the way she scurried off the night before Vanille was pretty sure that would have been the last time she saw this pesky brunette. Nevertheless, here she was, probably trying to dupe Serah back into her arms. She peeked from behind the wall and seen that the brunette and Serah was holding some kind of conversation. From the looks of it, Serah seemed pretty torn up about something. She stepped a little closer to get a better hear on what was being said.

"Heh, you need me you say?" Lebreau said rudely somewhat annoyed with the gloomy looking pinkette. "Let me guess, that little red-head bitch left and now you wanna come back to me?"

Vanille saw smoke. If she wasn't in her right mind she would throw something at the promiscuous brunette.

Lebreau scuffed then let out a mocking laugh that Serah only ignored. "That's not going to happen. Heh, I knew this would happen. You would come running back to me that is. It was only a matter of time. Hate to break it to you but I've found someone else. You had your chance and you screwed up."

The red-head growled quietly. Lebreau was so full of herself.

Serah took in a deep breath then looked up at the brunette with deep sadness chiseled in her expression. Lebreau took notice and decided to stop her bashing for now. The pinkette flicked away the tears from her eyes and began to speak. "Like that would stop me, if I wanted you Lebreau, I could just take you and you'd say nothing because you're that easy." She smirked. "And as fast as you came here, you probably thought I wanted sex from you."

Lebreau's face dropped as she tried to come up with something to back-up what Serah had said. "Tch, no I didn't!" Was all she came up with.

"Take off that ridiculous jacket then.."

Lebreau growled and looked down at the long grey trench coat she had on. She didn't want to remove it because it would reveal that she had nothing on underneath it, therefore proving the pinkette's statement to be correct. "Ugh, fine alright I did!"

"Exactly." Serah said with a somewhat dark smile, and then it faded. "But that's not the case." She said sadly as her eyes began watering up again. "I do need you Lebreau, but not in the way you were _hoping _for. I need you as a friend right now."

"Friend..right" She remembered the time when her and Serah tried to be _just_ friends. It didn't work out so well. Hugging lead to kissing, kissing lead to touching and so on. Honestly, she hoped it would happen again. "What's the matter Serah?"

"I-I.." Serah choked and bought her knees to her chin. "I thought that I was over it but then Hope called me and it all hit me again."

"Serah what?"

"Claire…" She whispered.

'_Claire__..__what's she have to do with this? And who's Hope?' _Vanille thought to herself and continued to listen on.

Lebreau swallowed and she suddenly looked spooked. Remembering the night before when she thought she had seen her. She began to think that it was a hallucination from her drinking that night but it all felt just a little too real. That icy gaze and that emotionless expression, It had to be the real Caire. But that was impossible; the _real_ Claire was six-feet under the ground. "S-serah," She inched closer to the girl and took both her hands. "That wasn't your fault. She did that at her own free will. You can't blame yourself for that."

The pinkette shook her head. That's what everyone kept telling her, everyone that knew what pushed Claire to the limit. Besides Hope. "Well it's hard not to when you have people like Hope throwing it in your face. But he's right though. I may not have done it physically but I did emotionally. My actions drove her over the edge…literally."

"She meant the world to me…."

"I never wanted to hurt her..."

"Cause her any pain…."

"Or..break her heart.."

"But I did. And now she's…"

Lebreau hugged the saddened girl and gently rubbed her back. Even though Claire was dead, she knew Serah was still very much in love with her. She hated it. Before Claire's feelings came to surface, it was just her and Serah. She would never admit it to the pinkette but she was a little happy when she found out the tragic news about Claire. It brought Serah back to her again. But after the funeral Serah changed completely. She started cheating, and lying. Lebreau knew the girl was messing around behind her back and did her best to ignore it, when jealousy didn't get the best of her. She thought that Serah was mourning and it was probably the only way she was able to relieve her pain.

How naïve she was. Naïve and stupid. But she loved Serah. She loved her so much to the point that she didn't care what the girl did at that time, even if it hurt her. Until one evening, Serah came home with a girl, a girl named Vanille. That was the last straw she couldn't take anymore of Serah's crap and left her.

She sighed. Now she began to think she made the wrong move, but maybe she could take advantage of this moment and fix her mistake. Serah was still talking and very choked up about the issue with Claire but Lebreau barely heard a word she'd said. She pulled from the hug and gently stroked her thumb across the girl's wet cheek. "Lightning wouldn't want you to mourn over her like this Serah."

'_Lightning!?'_ Vanille was becoming more and more confused by every passing second.

"What's done is done." The brunette said softly. "There is no changing it. Yes there are people like Hope that is going to throw it at you every chance they get but guess what?" She hugged the girl again. "That's why I'm here. I'll always be here for you Serah because…I love you."

Vanille laughed mentally. If she wasn't eavesdropping she would have laughed out loud. Lebreau was actually capable of loving someone. It was pretty damned amusing to her. It also made her mad and a little jealous, admitting her feelings to Serah, the nerve of that girl. This was all starting to form into a crazy love triangle. Lightning appearing to have some kind of feelings for Serah but not fully admitting to it, herself having feelings for Serah as well. Then there was this Claire that everyone keeps mentioning, and Lebreau who actually admitted she _loves_ Serah. She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. This was all turning into a big mess. What was it that had everyone so damn attracted to the one person she wanted?

There was a long silence between the two of them that seemed like forever. Serah shook her head and clamped her hands down over her ears. She hated those three words. They were haunting and bought back nothing but bad memories for her. "Don't say that..." She said as she stepped back away from the brunette.

Lebreau walked closer as Serah continued stepping back. "I love you..Serah."

_Slap!__._

Lebreau bought a hand up over her cheek and held it there, shock on her face. Serah glared at her angrily then turned her back to the brunette. That was an unexpected confession but she had already known before the brunette said anything. She placed a hand over her lips, a futile attempt to keep her cries to herself but ended in her releasing a bout of soundless sobs. "Don't be stupid.." She whispered. "What, are you expecting me to feel the same way?" She said through her cries. "I don't." It hurt her to speak those words to the brunette knowing that it was probably tearing her up on the inside but she had her reasons for speaking such harsh words.

Lebreau smiled sadly as she dropped her hand back to her side. Her eyes fell upon the tanned wooden floors of the flat to hide the tears of hurt spilling from her eyes. "H-how could…" She trailed off. "I-I thought.." She spoke dourly, struggling to keep her voice even.

"You thought what.." Serah said coldly. "Thought I'd return your feelings?"

"You're horrible.." The brunette choked. "Even after all we've gone through you're-"

"I USED YOU!" The pinkette turned around and shouted. Again there was an awkward silence between the two. Both had teary red eyes and expressions of deep hurt on their faces. "You were just a pawn to make Claire admit she had feelings for me…"

"You're lying. What about after that huh. What about when you and Lightning got into that argument and you came to me. Or you leaving Lightning because you were _so_ much _more_ in love with me than her. What was that Serah?" Lebreau asked sadly, rubbing her eyes to stop tears from building up in her eyes.

Serah was quiet. She knew some of the things she spat was a lie and was used only to hurt the brunette's feelings. She had to. Knowing that Lebreau was in love with her was one thing. But for her to boldly admit that she did was too much and she couldn't allow it from her, or anyone. She didn't deserve to love or be loved by anyone.

"You really are awful. Is this what you do to everyone who tries to get close to you?" She shook her head and walked towards the door. "I'm an idiot for ever thinking that you would ever-" She chuckled sadly. Forget it.."

The red-head ducked back behind the wall as the brunette walked for the front door. She hated to say it but she kind of felt bad for Lebreau. Now she finally understood why the brunette was so jealous of her. After witnessing that maybe it was better if she did keep her feelings for Serah to herself. Vanille was beginning to see the pinkette's true colors and she didn't like it one bit. But the question lingering at the edge of her mind was why was she doing this to people? Someone wouldn't just do this just to hurt people around them would they? Claire and Lightning seemed to have a lot to do with this issue as well.

"….Serah….?"

The girl jumped, startled no doubt and quickly turned around. She took a deep breath and glanced down at the floor. "H-how long have you been standing there?" She asked trying desperately to cover up the shakiness in her voice.

"Long enough to hear everything" Vanille simply stated.

Serah laughed sadly then shook her head. "Hasn't anyone told you it's rude to eavesdrop?"

"I wouldn't have if Lebreau wasn't here. That was pretty harsh what you said to her by the way. "Tch, so you're going to judge me too now?" Serah swiftly cut in. She sighed and walked towards the kitchen area. Vanille followed right behind her. "No, I just want to know the truth." the red-head stated.

"Don't worry about it, it's past issues." She said, becoming irritated now.

"Yea past issues that still seem to be having some kind of effect on you and others around you. "

"Vanille.." She clenched her fist against the counter top. "I don't want to talk about it.."

"And what's with Claire and Lightning?" The red-head pushed on.

"….Va-nille.." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why was everyone suddenly starting to pressure her.

"I can't live with someone that keeps secrets. Now tell me!."

"Then just leave!" She spat. "I was fine before you showed up anyway. I don't need you here I'm fine by myself so leave!" The girl yelled out of sheer anger.

Vanille was almost in tears after that. She looked at the girl and seen that her expression went unchanged. She was pissed. "Right.." Why was she so shocked anyway? The girl did the same thing to the brunette earlier.

"Of course she'd rather be by herself." A voice responded from the back of them. "That way she won't have to share her guilt with anyone."

Both looked to the front of the kitchen to see a green-eyed silver haired male leaning against the wall. Vanille didn't recognize him right away until he stepped under the light. It was that Guardian Corps guy from the night before. Serah gulped quietly but Vanille still heard it. She looked frantic and worried as the silver haired young man circled the counter and took a seat at one of the stools next to her. "The hell are you doing here?" She whispered with much anger laced in her tone.

The male flashed the pinkette a smug smile then looked over at the red-head. "I don't think I properly introduced myself to you the last time we met and I apologize for that. I'm Lieutenant Hope Estheim but you can call me Hope. Your name?"

"You barge into my house unwelcome. That's against the law you know!" Serah continued but her comments went ignored by the male.

Vanille wasn't in the mood for introductions. She really just wanted to run far away from here. It was obvious that Serah did not want her here anymore, so she didn't want to waste time here. She felt out of place here the longer she stayed. "V-vanille. My name is Vanille but I have to go now but it was nice meeting you.."

Hope smiled. "Wait, don't you want to know what's going on?" He looked at the red-head then smirked at Serah who looked like she was ready to attack the male.

Vanille shook her head. "If she doesn't want to tell me, I don't want to hear it from anyone. So no."

"Hmm," The boy hummed then looked at Serah once again. The pinkette seemed relieved now, much to Hope's dismay. "So you're telling me, that you don't want to know that Serah here killed her lover? Wait, I mean her sister."

'_What…?' _Vanille turned around slowly and looked at the male that was smugly smirking at the change in expression on Serah's face. Vanille looked at Serah then back to Hope again. Did she hear correctly? "I-I'm sorry what did you say?"

Hope smiled then threw his arm around the pinkette's shoulder. "Yea, hard to believe isn't it. Who would have thought that such an _innocent _looking girl like her would be responsible for her sister's death? Go on Serah tell her how you killed Lightning."

"Lightning!?" Vanille exclaimed, drawing the attention of the both of them. Serah more than Hope's. First off Lightning wasn't dead she was in Eden! Secondly, she was Serah's sister and lover? So her suspicions were right, the two were related. So why did Lightning lie? And why is everyone assuming she's dead and Serah being the one to had killed her?

Could it be that Lightning had...

* * *

><p><strong>&amp; That's all for now.<strong>

**P.S. The use of both Lightning's names is to throw Vanille off and make her believe that Lightning and Claire are two different people.**

**Review**


	7. Truth

**Chapter 7:**

Faked her own..death?

Lightning faked her own death!

The girl shook her head and took a quick glance at the pinkette at the counter. He seemed some what's shocked and at lost for words. Vanille couldn't blame her she'd probably be the same way if someone spilled something that terrible about her.

But why would Serah do such a thing? Well she didn't. Vanille knew that. But why is everyone saying she killed Lighting when it's clear that she didn't?

Serah was quiet. Head held down in nothing but shame as Hope revealed the secret she was trying so hard to keep in the dark. She couldn't think of anything to say. More like she didn't have anything to say. Who could say a word after something like that? The girl glanced over at Hope who was smirking down at her like he'd just won something. These past two year, all the silver haired male wanted to do is make her life miserable. Not that it wasn't terrible already but he really poured the salt on the wounds with this one, and it was stinging.

She looked at Vanille, the girl she just yelled at. She seemed baffled and kind of spaced out. Serah was a little relieved to see that but really wanted to know what was going through the red-head's mind. Was she going to leave, judge her, ask questions? Anything would be better than her blank expression at this point. "Well.." Serah started in a whisper. "There you have it. Satisfied? Now you know the truth. What do you have to say?"

"Serah I-"

"You know what-" She cut in swiftly before the red-head had the chance to finish. "Don't say anything; I don't want to hear it. Just leave, the both of you. I want to be alone…" She said then turned to the side, away from the two of them. She was too embarrassed to have any eye contact with either of them.

"Of course you do." Hope blurted out angrily at the guilt ridden girl. Serah bit down hard on her lip to the point it started to bleed out. The more Hope spoke the angrier it made her. He made his point, he exposed her. What more could he possibly do? "Is that a problem Hope? I mean, isn't that what you want for me, to be alone? Just go away…" She said through tears unseen by the two.

Vanille watched as Serah walked off towards her room. Crying and blaming herself for a tragedy that didn't even occur. She looked at the male in front of her then back at Serah who disappeared into her room. A part of Vanille wanted to yell out that Lightning was alive and living in Eden but she didn't, for her own reasons. "You hurt her feelings…"

"So.." Hope said bitterly. "If you were there you would understand."

Vanille clenched both her hands into a fist and glared up at the male. His rude demeanor was unnecessary and he was beginning to get on her nerves. "That's still no reason to treat someone like that!." She scolded. Hope huffed and ran his fingers through his hair. Even though no one was around he felt a little embarrassed to be getting chewed out by this girl. "Think about how you would want to be treated if you were in her position." Vanille continued. She sighed then walked back towards the counter to take a seat. Serah may have made some bad choices but that didn't make her a bad person. And for people to treat her that way, for Serah to treat herself that way was wrong.

"Hmph, if I was responsible for the death of a family member I don't think I'd be able to live with myself.." He stated as he walked beside Vanille and sat down next to her. "Lightning was the only one I had. When my mother and father died, she was there. She helped me get through the worst of things. If it wasn't for her I don't know where I would be now." He sighed and bought a hand up over his eyes. "To lose-" He took a deep breath and swallowed. "To loose someone close to you, do you know how that feels Vanille?" His hand fell to his lap to reveal his tearful red eyes.

Vanille sighed. She did in fact know exactly how it felt to lose someone very close. For it has happened to her. Losing someone so close to your heart was like your whole world falling apart. Or almost equivalency of a knife in the heart. It was always said that time heals all wounds but that wasn't always true. In this case It didn't matter how many days, months, or years, that went by, there would always be an empty chasm in one's heart that only that specific person was able to fill. Which is why she was really able to understand Hope's mourning.

She wished she could say something, something that would make this whole situation better. Well she could but then where would that leave her? Her blurting out that Lightning was alive would send Serah rushing out to search for her, leaving her heartbroken. This was selfish and she knew it, yet she still refused to change her mind. It wasn't her business to go telling anyone anything. But she knew the truth and that's what was eating away at her the most.

Hope stood from his chair, slightly startling the red-head. Vanille eyed him as he made his way out the kitchen but quickly halted. He turned around. "I'll see you around Vanille..." He said, sadly. With that the male left.

The air in the room had definitely changed over the past hour or two with all the drama that had just taken place, but she was more concerned about Serah despite everything that had been said. Vanille gaited over to the girl's room and raised a hand to knock but the door opened. Serah was standing in front of her, eyes still puffy and red from crying. She didn't look at all pleased to still see the red-head either. "…..You're still here?"

Vanille frowned. She had forgotten that the pinkette told her along with Hope to get out. She swallowed and fought back tears that were trying to flow from her tear ducts. "I-I will if you hear me out first.."

The pinkette sighed and out of irritation and leaned against the door frame. She was tired of people in her ear and wanted it to be over already. "I'm listening…."

"I-I…." She started, trying to find the right words to say to not further upset the red-head. Serah rolled her eyes then turned to go back into her room but Vanille grabbed her shoulder, stopping her. "Wait, please.."

Serah froze but didn't turn to make eye contact with the red-head, she just listened, waiting for the red-head's voice to ring through the horrible silence surrounding the both of them.

"Serah." After getting her thoughts sorted out. Vanille laced her arms around the pinkette's sides and pulled her into a hug. Her action startled Serah a little but she didn't fight the girl off like her mind was telling her to do. She so badly wanted to, feeling that this type of contact with Vanille was just too close. And it just reminded her of how _she_ used to hold her. But…instead she just dropped her head and stared down at the floor. Vanille's embrace was warm and gentle. A feeling she had not felt in so long.

The red-head was surprised. Thinking that Serah would oppose this and wish not to be touched after all that has happened this evening. "There is nothing about you that is horrible. You may have done some bad things but, that doesn't make you horrible. It hurts, but sitting here and continuing to punish yourself over it, isn't going to bring Lightning back.."

'_Because she's alive…Lightning is alive! Vanille tell her!' _

"I know that, but it's always on my mind no matter where I am, who I'm with or what I do.." She heard Serah whisper, bringing her out of thoughts.

Vanille's arms dropped from the girl's sides and she stepped back as Serah turned to face her. "What exactly happened…" The red-head asked. She'd heard pieces but the full on story would really give her a better understanding of the situation.

Serah wiped her eyes then sat down on her bed. She was hesitant at first even though Vanille knew some of the truth she wasn't ready to tell the part that caused this whole mess. Who knew how she would react after she's done explaining this story. She took in a deep breath and pushed astray piece of hair from her eyes and began to talk. "As you already know, she used to be my lover."

"I had no intentions to hurt her but.." Her fists tightened against her lap and tears fell from her eyes again even though she tried to hold them back, "But I did when I started messing around with Lebreau..."

Vanille sat down beside Serah on the bed. She was a little disappointed in her for going behind her lovers back, and with Lebreau of all people. "Why did you do that?"

"Well, Lightning and I had gotten into a really bad argument one day, so I turned to Lebreau for advice.."

"…."

I know, I know." Serah said with a heavy sigh. "Why her? At the time I felt that she was the only one that would understand me. I went to her for advice and well, that wasn't the only thing I got that day…"

"I can only imagine.." Vanille said trying to keep dirty images of that brunette and Serah from entering her mind. "Okay, but what's that have to do with you and Lightning?"

"I was getting to that.." Serah began fidgeting with her fingers as she rose to her feet and trailed over to the window, staring outside to avoid eye contact with Vanille. "After I seen Lebreau that day I didn't stop, even after everything with Lightning and I cleared up. Whenever Claire went off to work we seen each other, especially on the nights she worked late. Then one day, Lightning told me she was going to be away for three months for work related reasons. When she left, me and Lebreau's feelings for one another grew more and more intense to the point she suggested I leave Lightning to be with her.."

She walked from the window and back to the bed where the red-head was sitting, who's expression fell between both disgusted and ashamed. Serah looked away. "It took me a long time to think it over because I loved Lightning I really did but, I was also falling back in love with Lebreau.." She said sadly.

"I didn't know what to do. I was stuck and didn't want to hurt either of them. So I thought that maybe if I was to hold it off for as long as I could, then maybe Lebreau would get the picture and back off, but no. It didn't work. About two months after Lightning returned, Lebreau was becoming annoyed with all the excuses I was making up to not tell Lightning about us. So she came up with the decision that I tell her that day or she would tell it herself.

So really, I had no choice. I didn't want to but right after that, Lightning walked in and caught the two of us kissing. I was both shocked and scared. Shocked because I wasn't expecting her to be there that early in the day and scared because I knew that was the day I was going to lose her.." She breathed in then wiped away more tears that were fall from her eyes.

"I hesitated. I even glanced at Lebreau hoping that she would reconsider but she didn't. I'll never forget the look on Lightning's face when I told her. She looked as if someone stabbed her in the chest with a knife and twisted it. After that, her last word to me were I was disgusting and she never wanted to see me again.."

"After that day, I never saw her. I tried to call her but she had cut her phone off. I even went as far as showing up to the Gardian Corps base, but all of her colleagues claimed they had not seen her. Even if they did, they wouldn't tell me. It wasn't until a month or so after the whole incident that I received a call from her superior. He told me that Lightning had been sent on a mission to Pulse and never returned. They had sent out a search party where they found her gunblade on a cliff with a note that read;

_My life no longer holds meaning,_

_I've lost my only reason for living…_

_Going on with my life would serve no purpose,_

_so I've decided to end it here…_

_Good-bye._

"When he told me I couldn't believe it. Only thought on my mind was, that Lightning was dead and it was all my fault. I killed her. After finding that out, I broke it off with Lebreau. I didn't deserve to be with anyone, let alone be happy. That is why I do what I do Vanille. Toy with other's emotions. It is because I don't want anyone to become attracted to me. I even took on her name well really her nickname, _Lightning _as my stage name to remind myself that I don't deserve to be with anyone…"

She smiled sadly. "And that's my story…"

What an ear full that was. At first Vanille just wanted to grab Serah by the shoulder's and shake her. She was wrong to go behind Lightning, no _Claire_'sback and cheat on her. Then there was that, Lightning was Claire!

"_Who's Claire…." Vanille asked Lightning who was staring at a photo on the bed._

_Lightning dragged her eyes from the photo and looked at the girl blankly._

"_Claire is….."_

_Lightning placed the photo back on the night stand and laid back on her bed. She wanted to know where the girl heard that name in the first place but that was blatantly obvious, Serah. "Claire is…." She started again. If she didn't say something then it would only cause the red-head to ask more questions. Something she hated. "Claire is dead." She said simply and stood up. "I hope that was the end of your questions because I'm not in the mood to answer anymore."_

Why didn't Lightning just tell her that when she asked instead of saying Claire was dead!? "So she _committed_ _suicide_ cause of her pain. Then why are people saying…you killed her?"

"I already told you, because I did. If I didn't bother with Lebreau and hurt her the way I did she would still be here." She said mournfully as her eyes drifted to the other side of the room. The fact that Vanille was taking this so lightly like she wasn't the bad guy, was making her feel very uneasy. She wanted the red-head to do something, be angry, anything, just so she'd know she was wrong. But instead, she was just standing there smiling merrily.

"Serah…" Vanille called and grabbed her face between the palms of her hands for her to face her. She could see the misery in those cerulean eyes of hers. The eyes that would usually have that mischievous glint in them were gone. Fogged over and replaced with melancholy.

The red-head couldn't take it. She thought again about telling her about Lightning, Claire or whatever name she went by, was alive. But doing so would cause Serah to go out and find her. Something she didn't want because she was afraid of two getting back together.

Serah thinks Lightning is dead, so maybe it should stay that way. Besides what were the chances of Lightning showing up in Bodum anyway? None. Keeping the odds of Serah finding out her ex-lover is actually alive and well, very low. "You're right, she'd probably still be here but she's not and there is nothing that will change that Serah.."

"Then what do I do…" Serah asked quietly.

Vanille parted her lips to speak but nothing came out. Not even the smallest sound, just air. Her mouth became dry and a knot started building in her throat. She knew what she was about to say was going to put her on a serious guilt train but it had to be said."Forget and move on.." She exhaled and swallowed hard. "Move on…w-with…."

'_Move on with me! Me! For the love of Eden Vanille, what's stopping you, say it!'_

"With….someone else.." she said despite what she was thinking.

Serah's eyes filled with tears as she stared at the red-head. "I-I can't. I told you already, I-"

"I know what you told me Serah." She wiped the tears from the pinkette's eyes. "And so what. You deserve to be just as happy as anyone else weather you realize it or not." Vanille smiled and stepped away from the pinkette, a fake smile stretching across her lips as she headed towards the door.

"Where are you going….?" Serah asked completely forgetting that she told the girl to get out.

Vanille smiled brighter despite herself and looked at the girl strangely. "Leaving silly…remember." She said though her voice was slightly shaky.

Serah noticed and felt numb. "Ah…" The pinkette began twiddling her thumbs back and forth . She did yell at the girl and told her to get out. She didn't really want the red-head to leave, she was just aggravated and stressed out by everything that was taking place. She enjoyed her company in the house. Vanille made her feel like everything was going to be okay in the worst of situations like this one with Lightning. On top of that, she really didn't want to be alone.

Just as the red-head was about to step out the door Serah ran to her side and grabbed her wrist. "Wait, Vanille….."

The girl turned her head with saddened eyes and blinked. "Yea.." She even blushed, Serah was pretty close in her face. Vanille's heart was beating at a fast rate that was far from the healthy zone.

"Uhm.." Serah hesitated. "Don't go. I don't want you to leave me. I-I mean…" She shook her head and looked to the side to hide her cheeks that were starting to heat up and turn a dark crimson. "I meant you don't have to leave, I want you to uhm…."

Vanille's frown turned upside down into a smile. She even giggled. Serah's stammering was cute. "You want me to what..?" She pushed then grabbed the girl's chin and turned her face towards her own. Serah pulled away and turned her back to the red-head. "Stay…please?" She exhaled then turned around her blush was gone and Vanille was smiling brightly. "Awww!." The red-head gushed then pulled the pinkette into a hug and nuzzled against her neck which Serah blushed at. "I didn't quite hear you, what was that?"

"..…"

Vanille smiled and skipped towards the door. She didn't have to say it the red-head already knew. "Alright, alright! I'll stay only because you want me too." She giggled. "I'll be back in a little while m'kay!?" The door closed and Vanille was gone. Serah smiled and shook her head. She was just glad that the whimsical girl was staying.

* * *

><p>Vanille knocked on the door twice and waited. At first she thought no one was home when she discovered there were no lights on but then the door slid open. Vanille pushed aside the owner of the home and let herself in. "How could you do something so cruel!." She yelled. The owner closed the door. Had it been anyone else she would have kicked their ass for barging into her home unwelcome. She flicked on the lights to brighten the area, and gave the girl a stern look before walking into the living room area and sitting down. She folded her arms and stared at the muted television. "What are you talking about Vanille, why are you back here anyway?" She didn't mind the girl's company but she didn't like the way this conversation started let alone the direction it was headed in.<p>

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Lightning, or no Claire…" Lightning sprung up from the couch and dashed over to the shorter girl as fast as her namesake. Vanille froze. Maybe she shouldn't have used her real name. She was pushing a little too far but she didn't care in the least. Lightning wasn't going to hurt her. The older woman placed her hand on the girl's shoulders and pushed her against the door. Her cerulean optics giving the girl that cold icy glare she wanted to just tear her own eyes away from but couldn't. She was a bit intimidated right now.

"What did you just call me…?" She said grinding her voice against the back of her throat, darkening her gaze at the red-head."

"C-claire…" She whispered at first. "Claire!" She said again, bravely this time. She noticed she'd been doing that a lot lately. One day her bold actions just might get her into some serious trouble. Who knows that day just might be today. Messing around with Lightning, what the hell was she thinking!.

Lightning tightly gripped the girl's shoulders then released her. The girl knew she was going to have some type of bruise later but could care less at this point. "Why'd you lie like that, how could you make people think that your dead when you're not. Then have them all point the finger at Serah like it was her fault. How could you do something so heartless!."

Lightning didn't answer. She just walked away from the red-head and laid across the sofa. She was listening but at the same time she wasn't. What the girl had to say about what she'd done meant nothing to her. She knew what she did and knew why she did it and that was all that mattered. Sure there were times where she thought it was wrong but she already did it and nothing could be changed.

"Lightning!" Vanille shouted. She didn't realize it but the girl was standing behind the couch and looking down at her. Her usual bright personality was switched with this new angry one that Lightning never thought she would experience. It was actually quite amusing in a way since it did everything but affect her current mood. "Why are you so worked up about it?" The woman said non-chalantly, angering the girl even further.

"You really hurt her feelings Lightning, as well as others around her. How can you live with knowing that people who love you think you're dead, especially Serah."

Serah didn't love her. Lightning loved Serah and always will no matter how much she wishes she didn't. But Serah loved someone else, Lebreau. She made that pretty damn clear before she made her disappearance from everyone's lives.

"You understand nothing…." Lightning murmured darkly.

"I do." Vanille responded, a hint of anger rising in her voice at the woman's stubbornness. "She hurt you I know. But faking your death was no way to solve it. People go through relationship problems everyday but they work through it. If you loved her as much as you claim, that's what you would have done."

Lightning sighed and stayed quiet. Taking a deep breath, she stood to her feet, bypassing the red-head and straight for the door. Everything Vanille said just then played over in her head. She was right. All of this was so uncalled for. Of course she knew that from the start but she was too blinded by anger and hurt to actually realize it. "I'll go talk to her then…" she mumbled.

"No.." Vanille said, that anger still present in her voice. You and some others have caused her enough pain and misery already. I don't want to see her get hurt anymore by you or anyone else.." She swallowed and clenched her fist as her eyes rolled up towards the pinkette's icy ones. "So you need to stay away..."

Lightning's eyes widened with surprise then shrunk back to their usual size after a few seconds. "Excuse me?" Was this girl really talking to her this way, and in her own home? Lightning crossed her arms and shot one of her glares at Vanille but the red-head mimicked Lightning's same gesture, further irritating the woman. "Tch..." The woman huffed then walked away from the girl.

The conversation was obviously over but Vanille didn't take heed to that and just continued firing words at the departing pinkette. "You'll only make yourself look bad! How will you explain yourself when you show up to her alive?"

"I'll do what I want and when I want, now get the hell out of my house.." She mumbled, leaving the conversation with that before slamming her room door.


	8. Breaking

**Chapter 8:**

"Oooh…" Serah exclaimed, gazing around the night club. Tables were turned over on the floor. Chairs were scattered around in places they did not belong, trash lining the counter tops and shattered glass was everywhere. "What in the world happened here?" She asked as she picked up one of the chairs and sat down. "Looks like a hurricane tore through this place."

"Neh, well if that's what you want to call it.." Snow responded somewhat irritated, while sweeping some of the glass into a pile. "Then yes, a hurricane occurred in here." Yuuj stood up from behind the counter holding the side of his face with one hand while covering his nose with the other. Blood dripped trough the hand he was covering his nose with. "Goodness…" Serah stood up and rushed to the male's aid, instantly pushing his head back. "What happened.."

"Well.." Maqui started, also coming up from behind the counter, but he was holding an ice bag over his right eye. "Yuuj here couldn't help himself and got angry at one of the male customers for flirting with and touching on Lebreau. He lost his temper and swung at the man. The man swung back and missed, hitting another customer and an all-out brawl happened throughout the entire bar."

"She's my girlfriend what did you expect me to do, just sit there and allow it to happen!?" He spat and slammed his hand down on the counter top out of anger alone.

"Yea well maybe if you would have held your temper this would not have happened!" Maqui retorted. Serah resumed to stop the bleeding from the male's nose as mind slipped away from the two arguing boys for a few seconds. This must have been who Lebreau was referring to when she mention to her about having someone else. Serah thought she was lying just to anger her.

"Would you two shut up!." Serah heard Snow yell which snatched her out of her thoughts. "Maqui, go in the back and see if Gadot needs any help with anything. Yuuj, just stay quiet!" There was nothing else said between the two after that. No one dared to argue back at Snow especially when he was angry. The two traded glares for the last time before Maqui huffed and scurried off into the back like he was told. Yuuj plopped down on the counter top and folded his arms, flustered as Serah continued to hold his head back. The nasty copper tasting liquid coated his tasted buds and he wanted so badly to spit it out.

After a few minutes Serah allowed the male to drop his head, and much to his relief the bleeding had stopped. He grabbed a broom and started to help the angry blond clean up. It was his fault after all. "No," Snow said and snatched the broom from him. He looked at the male blankly and laid the broom against the counter. Yuuj stiffened. He could tell that Snow was really mad at him and he wanted to change that but right now didn't seem like the best time. "You've done enough tonight, just go home.." The male said then continued with what he was doing.

Yuuj's eyebrows narrowed and he looked around at all the damage he'd caused. It was all up in the air when this place was going to be back up and running again. "I'm sorry Snow."

The blonde said nothing, cuing the male to leave before he angered Snow more than he probably was. Lebreau emerged from the back with a list in her hand and slapped it down on the counter top in front of Snow. "Here all of what has to be replace and fixed and the price of it all," She pointed at the bottom of the paper where it read 250,000000 gil. Her face twisted up. "Right there."

Snow shook his head then pushed the paper to the side. "Thanks Lebreau. You can go for the night, thanks for your help."

She smiled and hopped over the counter. "Anytime Snow," She dusted off the front of her very short skirt, "Any-" She rose her eyes up and froze immediately. There, was someone she didn't want to see or thought she was trying her best to avoid after that big fallout. She frowned and turned towards Yuuj, her lover, with a weak smile. "Uhm…let's-let's go Yuuj.." She said awkwardly.

"Lebreau what's-"

"Nothing!" She wiped her eyes, from tears that were trying to make themselves present, and grabbed his hand. "Nothing I'm fine." She said in a shaky unstable voice. "Let's go." She yanked his arm and quickly left out the door.

"What's with her?" Snow mumbled. "You two fighting again?"

Serah chuckled nervously then swallowed. "What!? No. I uhm..I don't know what that was about..." Though she really already knew. Poor Lebreau, she was hurting and it was all Serah's fault. She was the cause of everyone's hurt lately.

"This location will be closed down for a month or so." Snow stated. "Until then we'll be at the one up in Eden, make sure you tell Vanille."

She gripped her hands against the chair and closed her eyes. All she ever does is make people miserable. Vanille was wrong. She's done horrible things because she's a horrible person. Nothing can change that. That's just who she was.

Heh, move on…? Vanille was stupid for even speaking such words to her. She can't move on. If she does she'll only end up hurting the next person and the next and the next after that.. She wasn't capable of making anyone…._happy _Just a_ heartbreaker. _She released a sob that she was holding in and slipped from the seat she was sitting in and fell to the floor.

"Serah!" Snow ran to the girl's side and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She said nothing and just continued to sob endlessly while staring down at the floor. She was near done with herself and everything about herself. She hated how she treated people how she acted and what she did. She hated herself.

"Serah..?" He circled his arms around the crying pinkette and pulled her into his chest. He couldn't figure out what sent her into tears but he would try to comfort her to the best of his ability. "It's okay…" He whispered while rubbing his hand up and down her back. "Whatever it is it's alright.."

Serah's cries continued into Snow's chest. No it wasn't. Everything was far from alright.

* * *

><p>Vanille walked along the Bodum beach, dragging her feet through the cool wet sand just inches away from the water. The water quietly swooshed on and off shore, washing over the girl's feet every minute or so. The sound was a soothing one and made Vanille feel at ease whenever she came here. And the fact that the beach was cleared this evening made it even better. The girl walked towards the dry area and plopped down in the sand. She laid back, placing her arms behind her head and looked up at the sky as if she were studying it but she really wasn't. She was lost in deep thought.<p>

"_You and some others have caused her enough pain and misery already. I don't want to see her get hurt anymore by you or anyone else. So you need to stay away..."_

Vanille squeezed her eyes shut. Remembering the last words she spoke to the pinkette before she kicked her out. The red-head didn't blame her. If someone barged into her home trying to boss her around she probably would have kicked them out too. But she did what she felt was right. Someone had too. But was it her place to even do that? Telling Lightning what she should and should not do?

What was even worse is the woman didn't even give her an answer when she told her that. She just huffed and rolled her eyes. What if all she did was made the woman want to come out of hiding and spill everything?

"Hey you.."

Vanille squealed and quickly turned around. She put her hand over her racing heart after being startled out of her wits. She took a deep breath of relief and smiled. "Don't do that, you scared me Hope."

The silver haired boy smiled and sat down next to her. "My bad, thought you may have heard me. What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Oh.." She laid back down and stared up at the sky again. "Nothing, just thinking about some things. Why are you here?"

The male lay beside the girl and mimicked her same position and looked up at the stars." "I had to stop by the base up in Eden. Was going to go home but decided to come here." The male frowned. "When I was younger, my mother used to bring me here to Bodum every year for the festival. When the festival was over, and the beach was clear, her and I would just sit here on the beach and gaze at the stars." He smiled at the memory but also frowned at it because now that's all it was, a memory. "But now that she's gone…I rarely attend the festival. It's too much for me."

Vanille frowned and looked at Hope. The poor boy. She couldn't even imagine the pain he's gone through in his life. "Hey she's not gone Hope." The girl smiled and pointed to the center of his chest. "She's always with you in here."

Hope looked down at where the girl was pointing and gave her a warm smile. She was absolutely right. He placed his hand on his chest, feeling the light thump thump sound there. "You're right, thanks Vanille.."

"So," He said to quickly change up the subject. "What's on your mind that bought you here, something up ?"

The red-head blinked twice and casted her gaze out to the ocean. Was Hope the right person to be discussing her issues with. Especially ones involving Serah. Hope hated her and even one mention of her name might anger him. "Uhm, uh….just random things.." She smiled, that was a terrible lie.

Hope raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. He knew that face, she made that same expression when he first met her. "Has anyone ever told you you're a horrible liar?" He chuckled softly as the girl held her head down, blushing from embarrassment. "Come on you can tell me, this can be our little session of getting to know each other."

Vanille ran her hand across the ground, making lines of five in the dry sand with her fingers. Contemplating on whether or not she wanted to bother him with her problems. "Uhm, well…."

"Well…?" He repeated

"Alright.." She sighed out "I'm feeling a little guilty about something and it's really eating away at my conscious. Say you knew a big secret about someone concerning someone you really cared about. But you didn't want to tell because it might hurt you in the process if it ever got out. But at the same time it's not your business to tell because you found out the secret on mistake. What do you do?"

Hope placed his index finger at his chin and thought only for a few seconds. "Well, I know how you feel Vanille. I'm actually caught up in the same situation right now. But I don't expect for the secret to be exposed anytime soon. If it gets out it gets out." He stated.

"But for your situation Vanille, you say it was a mistake that you found out. Honestly, I think you should keep it to yourself if you don't want to get involved. You shouldn't feel guilty. Like you said before, it's none of your business so you should not have to tell it." He said with a light smile, making the girl return the smile. "So now that we got that out the way, how about we exchange secrets. Don't worry it's safe with me!"

The red-heads face twisted up slightly at his words. Hope was a nice guy but could she really trust him? He looked genuine and looked like he kept his word. But The secret wasn't really hers to tell. "I' don't know…"

"You can trust me, honest." He persuaded

"You promise. No one can know. No one. Not even your friends. Got it?" she pressed.

"Yes, I promise. I'm a man of my word. I've never had anyone not trust me." He said proudly.

"Okay, remember no one." She pressed again. She had to make sure he was being truthful. After all the person told her not to tell anyone.

"Crystal clear understood." He said again.

Vanille went in to explain to the male that Lightning was not dead at all and that she was actually alive. She lookd at the silver hired boy, hoping to get some kind of action of rejoice from Hope but she didn't get that at all. He only gave her a blank stare and responded with; "I know…"

'_He knows….'_

'_Wait he KNOWS!?'_

"You know!?" She shouted out loud.

Hope nodded. "Yea."

Vanille suddenly felt angry. If he knew then why did he make that big scene at Serah's house? Was he trying to make the girl feel bad? It made no sense. Who does things like that? "So that was your big secret too?"

Hope heard the change in Vanille's voice and scooted back a little bit she looked like she was ready to swing at him by the way she was clenching her fists against the sand. "Yes, I've known for a while now. A few days after the funeral, Lightning came to me. I was pretty shocked myself and a little mad at her. But I made a promise to her that I wouldn't tell anyone since she wanted no one to know. So I had to go along with it. But my feelings towards Serah are real I can't-"

"I could care less about your feelings right now." Vanille spat, as she stood up and stepped away from the male. Being around him was starting to piss her off. "How can you and Lightning just stand around and just lie? Is she really that terrible of a person in your eyes that you would make her believe such an awful thing?"

"Vanille listen to me-"

"Be quiet!." The girl screamed. She felt a lump forming in her throat and her eyes tear up. She couldn't even being to wonder why she was getting ready to cry. "She hates herself, did you know that."

"…."

"You're terrible. You and Lighting both. The two of you are so cruel!." Vanille spoke softly before running off across the beach.

"Vanille wait!." He called out, but the girl just kept on running.

* * *

><p>"You sure you're going to be okay?" Snow asked as the two reached the door step to the pinkette's Home.<p>

Serah nodded and smiled sadly. "Yeah Snow, I'll be fine." She said still continuing to wipe away tears from her eyes.

The male smirked and wrapped his arm around the girl's shoulder and pulled her in close. The action would usually make the girl smile, but her sullen expression still remained. "I can come inside and….you know, help you get things off your mind." He lifted the girl's chin with his index finger to make her look at him. "If you know what I mean." He winked and planted a soft kiss on the girl's lips but she quickly drew back and pushed him away.

"Alright, alright!." He rose his hands up and stepped back. "Some other time then maybe?"

'_How about never…..'_

She thought to herself as she turned around and opened the door. How could he even try to put that idea in her head while she was in such a vulnerable state? Any other time she may have accepted it but right now? She punched in the code to unlock her door and it slid open. "Goodnight, Snow.." She said without making any eye contact with the stepped inside and the door slid shut behind her. She peeked outside the window to see Snow appearing to be somewhat confused as he hopped inside his velocycle and took off into the sky.

Serah slid down against the wall and pulled her phone from her pocket. She quickly scrolled through her contacts until she found Lebreau's number. Hesitant, her thumb hovered over the screen, wondering whether or not it was a good idea to even call the brunette. All she wanted to do was apologize. After seeing Lebreau's reaction to her tonight, she felt terrible. There was a 99.9% chance that she wouldn't answer and a 99.9% that she wouldn't accept her apology if she did answer. But she had to try.

Serah clicked Lebreau's name on the screen and it switched to call mode. She swallowed hard as the light buzzing noise sounded in her ears. The phone rang three more times before someone answered.

"What.." Lebreau answered coldly.

Serah choked. A part of her was hoping the brunette wouldn't pick up.

"Serah what do you want…?"

The pinkette still didn't answer and instead just hung up the phone. Was it really that hard to say two simple words? _I'm sorry! _No, it wasn't. But then she would have to explain what she was sorry for. That wasn't hard either but there was a long list of things she had to apologize to Lebreau for. And trying to get that all out over the phone was..._hard. _It was better if she said it to the brunette in person. She made a mental note take care of that tomorrow.

The girl stood up from the floor and walked towards Vanille's room. She knocked on the door and waited for an answer, most of the time the girl would be out here in the living room watching the television or on the phone chatting and laughing with Eden knows who. But she wasn't tonight. Then again it was late. Maybe the girl was sleeping.

Serah knocked again but there still wasn't a sound. She tuned the knob and slowly pushed the door open. She flicked on the light switch, and to her surprise there was no one there. Serah stepped inside the room and took a good look around. The girl's stuff was still present in the room so she didn't leave. That gave Serah some relief.

Then again, if the girl wanted to leave she wouldn't care. Would she? It's not like she had any type of connection with Vanille. Right? She sat down on the red-head's bed and laid back. The smell of vanilla and pomegranate filled her nostrils as she slipped into a deep thought.

'_You're fun to play with..' _

Yep that's all she ever was a plaything. Something to use, to keep herself entertained. Yea she wanted to do sexual things with Vanille but not in the sense of love making, just meaningless sex, nothing more nothing less.

Serah chuckled at herself and shook her head, even if she did develop feelings for Vanille, she was pretty sure the red-head wouldn't return her feelings. Vanille's seen the type of person she is.

Then again….

'_I know what I want…I want you Serah'_

She chuckled. Vanille was only messing with her head that night when she said that to her. She was far from serious. The red-head probably wouldn't even give her the time of day after all the head games she's played.

Vanille was a very attractive girl. That did not go unnoticed by Serah. The night she first met Vanille many thoughts raced across her mind. Not innocent ones either. But at the time she couldn't do anything since Lebreau was always on her ass, always accusing her of something. So having dirty thoughts about the red head was the only thing she was allowed to do.

The front door slid open and Serah quickly scrambled up from the red-head's bed. She then realized she had spent way too much time here. Expediently, she shut the light off and scurried out of the room. Before she had the chance to get all the way out, Vanille was walking in.

"Oh!" The red-head wiped tears from her eyes and smiled gleefully, trying her best to hide her sadness away from the pinkette. "H-hey Serah, you're awake…?" She said then looked down at the floor to avoid as much eye contact with Serah as possible.

"Uhm…yea. I was at the night club." She said awkwardly, studying the girl's odd behavior. "The one here in Bodum will be closed down for a while due to a really bad fight so we'll be up in Eden, Vanille what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, I uhm..I'm just not feeling too good!" She lied and tried to push he way pass the girl but the pinkette would not move, further frustrating the red-head. "Serah please, I'm fine I just need to sleep.."

"You're lying.."

Vanille looked up upon feeling Serah's hands grasping her shoulders. She was trying her best not to look so gloomy so she wouldn't worry the pinkette but when those pools of cerulean fell into place with her own, filled with concern and worry Vanille could no longer hold in her emotions. She bought a hand up over her mouth to try and keep herself from crying out loud but that was a useless act for it did nothing. The tears she was holding poured from her eyes and she broke down into sobs.

Serah stared baffled for the most part. She wasn't sure what to do since she had no reason as to what triggered the girl's sadness in the first place. She wished Vanille would tell her what was on her mind or what it was that caused her to cry. She stepped close to the girl and hugged her, gently rubbing her back to comfort her. The girl's body trembled violently as she pressed her face against Serah's collar bone. "What is it Vanille, you can tell me.."

Vanille took in a few deep breathes and looked up at Serah. The pinkette gently continued to rub the girl's back as she slowly began to relax. "Did someone hurt you?" She checked the girl to see if she had any wounds on her body but she appeared to be fine.

Vanille shook her head "No one has hurt me…"

'_I see that much…'_ Serah thought to herself. "Then why are you crying?"

'_I can't tell her, say anything…just not that.'_

She pulled away from the pinkette and took a few steps back until she was leaning against the sofa. She sniffled and rubbed her eyes as he stomach started twisting up in knots. "I was crying because…" She breathed out heavily then looked to the side. "I was thinking.." She folded her hands and began twiddling her thumbs while watching the expression on Serah's face. "there is something I've been keeping to myself for a while now because I didn't know how to say it to you because I was afraid of how you would react." She said, taking in and exhaling small shaky breaths every time she spoke. If she couldn't tell her the other thing then she had to tell her this.

'_Oh no….' _Serah looked towards her own room and was prompted to just quickly dash there without a second thought and lock herself inside. An odd feeling was growing in her stomach and she suddenly didn't like the direction in which this conversation was turning. She had to leave. "Uhm Vanille, forget it. I'm going to bed now…"

Vanille quickly walked towards the girl and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind her. Serah struggled and pulled at the girl's arms to get her off of her but Vanille would not budge. "Let go…" She whispered harshly

"I was thinking about, you and about the wave of emotions th-that I feel when you come to my mind Serah I…."

'_Tell her…'_

"Oh god no…" Serah whispered as she continued to wiggle about to get the girl away from her.

"Serah…I care for you." Vanille stated.

"Vanille, please don't start this." Serah said as she pries the girl's arms from her waist and pushes her back. A pang of guilt washed over her as she looked down at the girl on the floor. "I'm sorry Vanille but I can't return your feelings... " she said and turned away from the red head.

Vanille shook her head in disbelief at what the pinkette was saying. "So I really am just a plaything after all huh.." She whispered sadly, causing a wave of guilt to wash over Serah like a splash of ice cold water. The red head laughed sadly and shook her head. "Heh, guess I was stupid to ever think, otherwise...you turned down Lebreau after all don't know why it would be any different for me.."

She stood up from the floor, hurt by the way the girl reacted to her confession but there was nothing she could do. It wasn't like she could force Serah in to liking her. She clenched her hand over the pounding organ in her chest and smiled dolefully.

"Vanille, I'm sorry…" Serah spoke sadly. She didn't know what else to say to the girl to make her feel better. She knew the words sorry could only do so much but in this case, those words would do nothing but hurt the girl even further. "Vanille…." She called with a guilt ridden expression.

The red head flashed the pinkette a fake smile that Serah seen right through. "It's fine Serah…just forget it.." Were her last words before slipping into her room for the rest of the evening.


	9. Karma

**Sorry that my updates keep getting later and later everyone, it's just that I'm in school and my major calls for a lot of studying. (Which I do hate by the way lol!) && on top of that I've been going in and add and taking away a lot of content in this chapter so that's reason number two for the delay of this chapter. But thank you to everyone that is continuing to follow this story and has not given up on me! I appreciate it a lot! :D Anyways, here's chapter nine! Enjoy and let me know what you think.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9: Karma<strong>

'_What's wrong with me…?'_

Serah pondered to herself as she sat in the kitchen. Only twenty minutes had flown since her and Vanille argued. She attempted to act as if she didn't care but that was a failure. Unlike the way she handled Lebreau, it was hard to treat the red-head just anyway she pleased. And when she did she always found herself feeling like shit afterwards, like now. Last thing she wanted was for Vanille to think badly of her.

'_I was thinking about, you and about the wave of emotions th-that I feel when you come to my mind Serah I….'_

Her stomach writhed and she dropped her head on the counter. Why was she feeling this way so suddenly? Caring about the way the red-head seen or thought of her. Even worse, caring about the red-head's feelings all together. She could have really yelled and screamed at her like she did Lebreau but she held back. Why? She didn't even know. But strangely, she felt the need, the urge to apologize to her.

**~xxxxxx~**

"So now you want to come back?" A feminine voice with a thick accent spoke on the other side of the phone.

Vanille hesitated as the voice on the phone asked her this question. Her hands shook nervously and her throat was suddenly parched. She peeked outside the door to see Serah seated at the counter with her face in her hands.

"Vanille you there?" The voice asked in an irritated tone.

"Uh-uhm yes I'm here. A-and yes I w-want to come back.."Vanille continued to speak nervously. She began to question whether this was the best choice for her.

"Very well just send me the address to where you are and I'll come and get you in the morning." The person on the other end hung up and Vanille dropped her phone on her bed. The red head took in a shaky breath and exhaled a shaky one.

Just when she was about to lie across her bed, there was a knock at the door. She knew it was Serah and almost yelled '_go away'_ but that would have been childish of her so instead, she told her to come in despite her current mood. "Yes, Serah?" The girl said slowly as she turned her eyes to her headboard so she wouldn't have to look at the pinkette.

Serah noticed the dullness in the girl's voice and it made her stomach sink. As odd as it was she even felt her eyes kind of tear up. She hesitated for a second or two before she walked to the girl's bed and sat down. She was briefly quiet to gather her thoughts on what to say then she began to speak. "Vanille, I'm sorry..."

The girl didn't answer which didn't surprise Serah at all.

"I know, what's sorry supposed to do for this problem? Nothing I know. Sorry can't fix everything. But I thought that, I should apologize to you." She looked down at her hands as the tears that started building up when she walked in started pouring down her cheeks. She couldn't even explain or understand why it was that she was crying. But even though the tears were falling her expression remained straight. "There are so many people that I've done damage to and can't fix it because they're either dead or they've cut me off completely. So before you decide to cut me off or whatever you're going to do from here, I'm sorry.." She wiped the tears from her eyes then turned and started for the door.

Vanille sat up and watched as Serah started leaving the room this was probably going to be the last time she was going to see her and that was depressing enough. Life without the pinkette would be a difficult thing to deal with but it would be stress free. She sprung up off the bed, running behind the girl she threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly like she was going to fade away if she let go. "It's, it's okay Serah..." She paused shortly before saying the last. "I….I forgive you." She whispered softly into the girl's ear.

The pinkette gave an empty smile then stepped back, giving the red-head an odd look. Though Vanille was smiling, she could still see that she was hurting by glancing into her eyes. Serah frowned then scooted towards the door. "So we're okay..?"

Vanille nodded and smiled despite how bad she was dying on the inside. "Y-yea...peachy." She said with a growing smile though her words sounded forced.

"Right…" She mumbled though she couldn't shake the feeling that the red-head's words weren't true.

"Good-bye.." Vanille mouthed just as the door clicked shut behind Serah.

**~xxxxxx~**  
>She'd hoped that starting the morning off in a good mood would brighten things up but she was wrong. Pretending that nothing went wrong the night before was selfish of her. Serah rose from her bed and walked over to the window, the bright sunlight shining through it hurt her eyes but the mood she was in made her ignore it. She barely slept last night after the <em>"incident"<em> between her and Vanille. Sure she apologized to the girl and that diminished away some of the guilt she felt afterward but not completely, especially now. She thought that the girl's forced forgiveness was bad, seeing Vanille doing anything but smile her usual smile really just dampened Serah's mood to the fullest. She had to do something, anything to get the red-head back to her normal state. But the question was how. She used to be good at cheering people up but it's been so long since she's done that.

A sound from the kitchen drew her attention towards her door. She knew it was no one other than the red-head so she took her time. "Vani-"

She stepped out her room and seen the girl standing at the front door along with her belongings. Serah's eyes then shifted to the left of Vanille where she seen she was accompanied by another, A woman. She was taller than the red-head wearing a pair of black jeans and a royal blue tanktop. She had wild chestnut hair that stopped at her shoulders and tanned skin. Some areas on her arms were covered in scars. She also shared the same green eyes as Vanille.

Serah blinked twice then ran her eyes up and down the woman's figure three or four times. Not in a checking out way but more like; _who the hell are you_? She folded her arms and let out a long despondent sigh. "And….you are…?" She spoke bitterly.

"Well aren't you nice. That how you greet everyone that come to your home?" The woman said with an accent that was similar to Vanille's but much thicker.

"Do you enter other people's houses uninvited!?" She spat back but the woman only chuckled and smirked.

"I was invited, by Vanille."

Vanille felt Serah staring at her, burning a hole in the side of her head with her eyes. "Uhm, Serah…" She picked her head up from the floor and looked at the pinkette in front of her. The red head's expression was blank. "This is Fang." She said nervously.

Vanille smiled up at the woman but from the way she looked she didn't appear to be too enthused to be around the woman, let alone being hugged or touched by her. Serah could have sworn she seen the red-head flinch just as the taller woman was throwing her arm over her shoulder.

"….." The pinkette folded her arms across her chest waiting for something more than just that. "What's she doing here?" Serah tried not to look worried but she knew she was failing terribly. What was she so worried about anyway?

"Serah I…." She had hoped she was able to slip out while the pinkette was sleeping so she could avoid a situation like this but here they were. "I'm just.." She looked down at her hands that were very shaky. She was in a dreary and gloomy mood today and really didn't feel like discussing anything that was going on or bothering her with the pinkette. She felt that sharing any further information with Serah would build on their strange relationship and she didn't want that. As much as it killed her and weighed on her aching heart, she wanted her unstable relationship with Serah to shatter. She wanted to break away from the girl. "I'm just tired…." She whispered, clenching her knuckles. "Tired of you….." she said acridly.

Serah's mouth fell agape and she widened her eyes in complete shock moments after. The words played over and over again through the pinkette's mind, trying to believe whether or not Vanille actually said that to her.

Vanille felt a pang of guilt wash over her like a cold wave of water. Last thing she ever wished to do is hurt this girl after everything she's been through but the last thing she wanted was to sit around here and be hurt herself.

"Y-you're what..?" Serah's eyes narrowed not from being mad but to hide away the hurt that was starting to settle in.

Vanille kept her eyes on her hands, still trembling while fidgeting with them. "I'm tired of you…" She said raising her head, staring up at Serah coldly.

Serah shook her head and tried to find some trace of softness in those emerald eyes of hers but there was none, just fury behind them. Vanille was pissed at her. "Tired of-" She trailed of as her eyes slowly drifted to the side.

"What did I-" Serah said slowly, placing a hand on her hip and the other over her mouth. The red-head said nothing to her and just kept her eyes towards the door. The pinkette could tell that her mood had dramatically changed since the night before. "What did do?" Her mind was everywhere at this point. Her thoughts scattered to every corner of her mind, trying to come together and make sense of the whole situation here.

"Serah I.." She looked up at the pinkette for a few seconds then turned her back. There was too much sadness present in her expression and looking at the girl directly while saying what she was going to say, would kill her. "Serah, I have feelings.." She started. "And whether you know it or not, they're hurt because of you.

Serah widened her eyes at the last sentence. Last time she heard those words was when Lebreau- She shook her head then began to step away slowly. "S-so you wanna leave…"Serah spoke softly. She was used to people leaving and never really gave much of a damn but Vanille was different. Unlike other people that she just kicked to the side, she liked having the red-head around. Even though she treated her the way she treated just about everyone she toyed with, there was something about her that made the pinkette feel a way that she wouldn't feel if she was gone. She was one of the last people she thought would leave, and she didn't want her to leave. She chuckled sadly and shook her head in disbelief. "I-I don't want you to go Vanille.."

The red-head frowned then finally turned around to meet the pinkette's distressed eyes. "I need to Serah, staying here with you, will only continue to hurt me."

Serah really didn't hear a word the red-head said. All she really cared about was trying to convince Vanille to stay. She walked to the girl and pulled her into a tight hug. "Don't leave me Vanille. I'm sorry for everything that I've done to make you feel the way you feel about me but, I'll do anything just please stay.."

"Oh for the love of Pulse girl," Fang shouted out of aggravation. "Do you realize how pathetic you sound?" Serah heard the tanned woman speak. Her voice alone was enough to irritate the pinkette but she just ignored her. "If she wants to go let her go, you look ridiculous goin' on and on with this."

Vanille pulled away from Serah's embrace and slowly walked to Fang's side, eyeing the girl and noticing her eyes growing misty until it was tears that were trickling down her cheeks. "V-vanille….."

"Good-bye…"

"Vanille!" She called to the red-head as she walked towards the door with the tanned woman. This was almost like that time when _she_ left her. Serah could feel her chest constricting. "Fine, go!." She shouted, mostly out of anger. "It's not like I need you anyway!." Her breath halted in her throat at her own words. "Just like _her _you're leaving me…." She dropped to her knees and reached out for the girl but Vanille didn't bother to look back at her and before Serah knew it, the red-head was gone.

It had been a total of seven days since Serah had seen or heard from Vanille. Every night she went off to work she'd hope to see the red-head there but, the nights went by and Vanille never showed. Again someone was gone, and it was her fault. The pinkette rose a glass to her lips, finishing off the contents that was inside then placing the glass down next to the other three lined up next to the bottle of Pomerol. What was wrong with her? The girl reached over on the table and grabbed another empty glass and filled it half way with the velvet red substance. She quickly swallowed it down, ignoring the woozy feeling she was developing.

She placed the glass down on the table and exhaled a breath. He eyes wondered around her flat like they were searching for something when really she wasn't searching for anything, just observing. Observing how lonely it was being by herself. How empty it was without the red-head around smiling and giggling. But this is what she wanted wasn't it? To be alone, away from everyone. Hiding away to keep her demons from surfacing.

"It's too quiet…"

She said to herself as she wrapped her arms around her head and began to rock herself back and forth. It was dead silent yet that same perpetual silence was screaming at her.

The silence deadened when the sound of the doorbell bellowed through her home. Serah sat up slowly and looked down at her phone and it read 10:39am. Whoever it was she was hardly interested in getting up finding out. The bell rang again and she knew it wouldn't stop until she answered it so she rose to her feet, stumbling as she did so and opened the door. Much to her surprise, it was Lebreau. The pinkette looked at her then turned away from the door, not in the mood to be bothered by this woman. "What are you doing here? You're one of the last people I thought would be visiting me." She said then plopped back down on the sofa, pouring another glass of wine for herself.

Lebreau walked in and sat in a stool at the counter and crossed her legs over one another. She arched an eyebrow and watched the girl as she took down the glass of wine in a single gulp then poured another one. "So you've resorted to binge drinking now." She said, stating it more than asking.

Serah waved a hand up at the brunette and sat the bottle down on the table, ignoring her comments. Drinking seemed to be the only thing that calmed her. It put her in a peaceful place, drowned all her sorrows away. "I can hold my alcohol, don't worry about me. What are you doing here?"

"Snow sent me, to check on you and….Vanille." she said forcing out the last of her words. "You haven't been to work in days. Where is she by the way?"

She sighed. The mentioning of the red-head's name just pushed her deeper and deeper into a gloomier mood. She looked over at the room that Vanille once slept in. This past week she just kept hoping that the red-head's leaving was just a dream and that door would open with the red-head skipping out of it but so far, that has not happened, and it will never happen. "Vanille is….out." She said lowly, then sipped at the wine again. "And was sending you supposed to get us to come in?"

"Is it working?"

Her azures looked down at the crimson substance while swirling it around in the glass and sighed. "No, now leave!."

"And let you drink yourself into oblivion? Hell no." The brunette walked over to the table next to the pinkette and picked up all the glasses including the bottle of wine and took it away from the girl. "You've had enough Serah."

"I'm fine Lebreau I'll stop when I feel like I've had enough!."

"And by then you'll probably be in a coma!" The brunette answered, pouring the contents of the bottle down the sink. "Find another way to deal with whatever it is that's bothering you."

"Hey that stuff was expensive!." she shouted and ran to the sink to snatch the bottle from the brunette but it was too late.

"Yea? And so will your funeral if you keep this up!."

"Why do you care? I should no longer be of any concern to you. You have Yuuj now, stop butting into my business and take care of your own!." Serah said trying to snatch the bottle from Lebreau but the brunette rose it up over her own head out of Serah's reach. "Give it to me!"

"You think you're the only one that has problems around here Serah? well you're not! Everyone has issues but unlike you they're moving on."

"Nice lecture.." She said continuing to reach for the empty bottle.

"It's advice!. Shit happens in life Serah and a majority of the time you're not going to be able to do anything about it. Sitting here pitying yourself isn't going to do anything but make everything worse for you. Get over it!." She dropped the empty bottle in the sink and gaited towards the front door. "See you later this evening." She opened the door and walked out.

Serah grumbled to herself and picked up the bottle from the sink. Sadly for her there was only a drop of wine inside. She sighed then tossed the bottle into the trash and walked over to the cabinet where she pulled out another bottle. She popped the cork and poured the contents into another glass but only stared at it.

Soft erogenous music played through the night club while the pinkette performed as she usually did on the stage. She had no reason why she was even here, or why she even decided to show up but she did. Being here only made her sadness worse and things were much less entertaining recently. Could that have been it?

She slowly bought her figure down on the floor where she crawled ever so seductively towards the audience.

Lebreau barely looked her way anymore, a few glances here and there but nothing compared to the way she used to ogle the girl when she got up on stage.

She winked and reached out, grabbing at the tie of one of men in the audience and yanking him in her direction. The male had radiant blond hair and eyes and blue as the ocean.

Then there was the red-head, Serah used to get a kick out of the way Vanille used to eye her down on the stage. But she wasn't even present.

She put her lips close to the male's ear and gave a soft moan that made his body shutter, then nibbled his earlobe. The male's hands trailed along her thigh softly then pulled the elastic string of her thong where he placed a paper bill before Serah gently shoved him away. Only people that were paying close attention to her was the ones she could care less about. That wasn't entertaining at all.

Her performance came to an end and she stood to her full height. The audience roared and threw more money up on to the stage. Serah barely noticed this for she was too busy scanning the crowd looking at everything and nothing. Her eyes fell to Lebreau who was swirling a drink around while talking with Yuuj. Then Snow who was off to the far right gesturing for her to leave the stage. She shook her head and an enormous pain crept across the side of her head. She shook her head again but that only made it worse. It was probably from all of that wine she drank and the after effects were finally creeping up on her. She look back at the roaring crowd, to notice a very familiar face within the large group of people. The pinkette's eyes grew wide and she blinked three times to make sure what she was seeing wasn't an illusion. The person in the crowed showed no type of surprise or emotion like the pinkette did. They just stood there for a few seconds longer before smirking and walking for the back door of the night club.

"C-claire…." Serah shook her head but flinched, forgetting how badly it was hurting her. When she looked again, she could see the person just exiting the door. "Claire..." She shouted but the noise of the crowd made it impossible for the voice to reach the other's ears."Claire wait!"

Serah dashed off the stage and pushed through the crowd to follow behind her sister but her arm was grabbed and she was stopped.

"_Lightning_ where are you going?" Snow asked concerned.

"You seen her didn't you!?" Serah spoke, her voice suddenly cracking. Her whole body was shaking and her heart was pounding really fast.

"Uhm, seen who!?" Snow asked, scratching the back of his head dumbly. "Serah are you okay?"

"Lightning!. You just called her name. You seen her!." The pinkette stressed.

"Yea..." Snow was suddenly becoming worried about the girl. "I was referring to you Serah, your stage name, _Lightning _remember?"

"No no, no," She grabbed the ends of her hair and shook her head. "She was here I seen her she was over there!." She gestured pointing towards the large crowd.

The girl went to run out the door but Snow grabbed her arm and stopped her. He pulled her back into his arms but Serah struggled to get away. "Serah, Lightning is dead."

"No, she's not! I just seen her Snow!. Get off of me!." She said pulling from the large man's hold. "Let-let go of me!" Finally after all the struggling she pulled from the grasp of the male and ran for the door.

The older woman disappeared around the corner and Serah was right on her heels, heart racing and lungs feeling like they were going to explode. Serah turned down the next corner she seen her sister turn down but this time she lost her. Nothing but a lone empty street.  
>"Cl-claire..."<p>

The pinkette stood there exhausted and out of breath. Serah fell to her knees and began to weep quietly. Not long after Snow and Lebreau showed up.

"Serah!" Snow shouted and ran to the girl's side, placing his large coat around her shoulders. "What were you thinking running out on your own like that!?"

Serah continued to cry that she seen Lightning and that's who she was chasing after, but Snow looked at her like she was crazy while Lebreau just shivered like she was scared. "Serah, Lightning is gone, remember? She died, you're...seeing things"

Serah sighed to herself and sniffled. She knew what she saw. But pushing this little experience any further would only make them think she was crazy, and that was one of the last things she wanted anyone to think of her. But she couldn't help but to think that it was real.

**~xxxxxx~**

After her little outbreak, Snow had considered that Serah should go home for the rest of the evening but she refused. Being at this place was better than sitting in that house full of silence that screamed back at her. So Snow had her work at the bar for the rest of the night. The process was a tad bit annoying because he constantly kept stopping by the bar and checking on the pinkette. It was nice that he cared but it was becoming a little irritating.

Serah's eyes played tag between the back door and the stage. The door in hopes that Lightning would walk through again and the stage for Vanille. She had more hopes that the red-head would show up than her own sister, only because she's been dead for two years…_supposedly_. She wanted to believe that her seeing Lightning was due to the amount of alcohol that she'd been drinking but that short moment just felt real…too real.

The lights around her dimmed down and the music slowly faded out. The audience of sickening men roared, howled and clapped their hands together. Stepping out on to the stage in a slow stride was one dancer. Hues of different colored lights shined down on the stage but not directly on the dancer.

As she made her way towards the center of the stage, towards the dull lights my heart raced. The dancer let one leg out into the light before pulling it back into the shadows. The music slowly started up in the background as did the slow and provocative movements of the dancer's body.

"Aye pink hair,"

Serah jumped as her thoughts were interrupted by a voice that she was all too familiar with. Her eyes rolled in the direction in which the voice had come from, lo and behold, it was that woman, Fang or whatever her name was. Seeing her just made her want to throw something.

"Think you can slip out of lala land for a few seconds and get me some Jäger?" She said to the girl then slapped her money down on the counter.

The pinkette glared at the tanned woman and was almost ready to just punch her in the face but Snow was a few steps away from her so she just held her temper and smiled. "On the rocks?"

"What do ya think?" She asked sarcastically.

"You…." Serah's fingers wrapped around the bottle of Vodka that was only inches away from her but before she had the chance to do what she planned with it, Snow stepped in and grabbed her arm. "Woah, woah!" He smiled at the woman, Fang then pulled Serah off to the side.

"What's wrong with you, do you realize what you almost did!?"

She was fully aware of what she was about to do, and wished he wouldn't have stopped her. That woman was two seconds away from getting clobbered in the head with that bottle and would have deserved it. She glared at the woman then dragged her eyes back to Snow who was furious with her but she didn't care. "Yes.." She answered simply.

"Look whatever it is that's bugging you tonight put it behind you for now, I can't have you attacking the customers_ Lightning_!." He scolded though she really could care less about what he had to say.

"Fine, whatever alright, I'll try…" Was all she said then walked back behind the counter to continue. The woman smirked at Serah but she ignored it remembering what Snow had told her. Serah rolled her eyes and ducked down under the counter where she pulled out a glass. If she was here that had to mean that Vanille was too, at least she hopped she was.

"So, heard from Vanille?"

As she reached up on the counter to get the bottle of Jägermeister she stopped, but didn't turn around because she felt that the woman was flashing her that stupid smirk of hers. She very well knew the answer to that and was only trying to get under her skin for pure amusement. But she wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. "Gee, I don't know Fang," the pinkette started and slammed the glass down on the counter top."You tell me. Last I checked she left with you. That should answer your question." She said calmly as she prepared the woman's drink.

She could hear a soft chuckle from behind her before she turned around and sat the glass of Jäger down in front of the woman. Fang picked up the glass and took a sip from it and returned it to the countertop.

"Why are you here anyway Fang, is it to antagonize me or something?"

"What am I not allowed to stop by and grab a drink?" She asked, picking up the glass from the counter, this time taking down a few gulps of the brown liquid before placing it down again. She leaned in somewhat closer to Serah's face, the stench of Jägermeister from her breath just pouring into her nostrils. "So what'd ya do to her?"

'_I'm tired of you….'_

Serah flinched slightly at the recurrent words. They were haunting and made her blood run cold every time she thought about it. Perhaps it was the way Vanille said them. She sounded so…mad. Her mind began to wander for a second. She really didn't know what it was she did to make Vanille so mad at her. "Don't know and don't care and even if I did I wouldn't share it with you!."

Serah's eyes danced back to the stage where the dancer's identity was still shrouded in mystery. Her body continued to sway smoothly with the beat of the music, her swaying hips moving from side to side as a piece of her clothing was tossed into the audience. Then, after what seemed like forever, the dancer decided to make herself visible and stepped under the shining lights. Much to Serah's liking it was Vanille.

Fang gulped down the last of her drink ignoring the burning that stung at the back of her throat and took a gander up at the stage where the pinkette's eyes were staring. "Wonderful isn't she?"

Serah didn't respond and just kept her eyes solely on the dancing red-head.

Vanille quickly glanced her way and her dancing came to a sudden and slow stop, as did the music. A smirk stretched across her lips and she began a lax strut off the stage, the audience of gluttons watched as the red-head gaited over in the pinkette's direction and stopped in front of Fang.

She chanced a glance at Serah with a playful smirk then laced her arms around the tanned woman's neck. The pinkette's stomach knotted for some odd reason, developing a feeling that she haven't felt in a while. She leaned in dangerously close to the woman, licking at her own lips. Serah's hand clenched into a fist against the counter out of anger at the scene that was taking place in front of her, only issue is that she wasn't sure why she was so mad…It's not like she harbored feelings for….

The red-head closed the gap between her and Fangs lips, sealing it with a kiss. Again, Serah's stomach churned. Sensual moans emitting from the back of the red head's throat as she did. Fang didn't fight it off at all, in fact she welcomed it and kissed the girl back, purposely moaning and tangling her fingers through Vanille's hair. Her eyes drifted towards the pink haired girl where she could see the shock upon her face and deepened their kiss, worsening the girl's agony.

It was only forty-five seconds but it felt like it lasted for eternity before they finally decided to tear their lips away from one another. Even after, they shared a few lip biting pecks from one another. The red-head giggled then turned towards the pinkette.

Serah quickly turned her head away and began to walk away from the red-head without a word. What more was there to say after such a brazen scene like that? She tried to get away from the situation as fast as she could, hoping to forget it just as fast as it happened, but Vanille quickly grabbed her arm and violently yanked her back in her direction, which resulted in Serah falling forward onto the bar counter. Directly in the red-head's face. A index finger pressed against the base of Serah's chin and the red-head smiled. The pinkette's eyes had grown moist, tears threatening to fall. "Hurts don't it?" She said before leaving with Fang.

* * *

><p>Serah sat at the bar counter at her home and placed a bottle of Vodka down on the counter as she sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes. She thought that seeing Vanille would have lightened her mood but it did the total opposite and destroyed it.<p>

'_Hurts don't it?'_

Oh it hurt. And it hurt badly. Was this karma? It was finally coming back around to bite her, and it bit hard. Dishing out to her what she dished out to other people. Is this really what they felt when she screwed them over? A pain that made her just want to rip her heart out of her chest. Is this how Vanille was feeling? Was this how she made her feel? She breathed in heavy then stood up from the counter, clenching her hand over her chest as she fell against the wall, tears falling from her eyes. if this is the feeling she gave others after playing with their hearts, then it was horrible.

The doorbell sounded and she dejectedly walked towards the door. A part of her just wanted to ignore her but she had a feeling that the person she wanted to see was standing on the other side. She pushed the button and it slid open to reveal Lebreau, just the person she wanted. Serah rose her eyes up from the floor, showing her tear filled eyes to the brunette in front of her. Any other day she would have yelled at the Lebreau for coming around but not this evening. Right now she really needed someone, anyone that would make the pain in her heart go away. "Lebreau…." She cried then hugged the brunette. "I-I need you.." She said into the woman's shoulder.

Lebreau frowned. She remembered some time ago telling Serah that she would come running back to her when something went wrong, which the pinkette had denied. Yet here she was, crying on her shoulder. Something in her wanted to scream _told ya so!_ But she couldn't. Instead she just wrapped her arms around the girl, returning the hug that she had given. "I'm here for you Serah, always."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope it was alright guys, I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. I wanna have it up by next week but I can't make any promises on that one. But when it gets up here, you'll know it! :D<strong>

**Thanks again!**


	10. Delusions of Pleasure

**Chapter ten as promised! I got it up earlier than I hoped for only because I had the idea in my head of how it would pan out. But here it is! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10: Delusions of Pleasure<strong>

The front door slid open and two women fell onto the floor with a loud thud that would usually follow with a pained cry from any normal person, but not these two. They were in their own little world, caught up in the rising heat of each other's bodies. Wild and fevered kisses being placed on one another's necks with small nibbling of the sensitive skin of that area. Hands fumbled around with the clothing, trying to strip one another, until the woman on top grabbed the arms of the girl under her and placed them above her head.

"Mmmm" the girl moan in protest as she tried to break her arms free from the one holding them tightly in place. "No..no fair.." She whined cutely into the woman's ear before returning to kissing. The woman smirked and broke the kiss for a few seconds. "You know I don't play fair…" She whispered huskily to the girl before slamming her lips against hers.

The girl whimpered a bit at the roughness of the kiss and realized seconds later that the taste of copper was coating her tongue. Even then she had no control over what she wanted to do. The minute she swiped her tongue across her own lip to lick the cut the woman had made from her roughness, she felt something hot and wet push pass her lips, the woman's tongue. She released a sigh of pleasure and massaged her tongue against the woman's.

Their wild kissing slowed to a stop and they looked at one another, panting heavily. The woman smirked and went back for the girl's neck, dragging her tongue across it before laying hot kisses on various areas of her neck. The girl let out a needy groan followed by a small squeak as her lips dipped lower. Her eyes fluttered shut and small shaky breaths passed over her lips while waves of heat rippled across her lissome figure. Images flashed across her mind as she shifted her hips from side to side under the woman. Her hands reached up and thread through the chestnut locks, finger nail's scratching gently against the woman's scalp. Her heart pounded against her chest, beating in her ears to the point that she thought that it was echoing through the house.

It had been all too long since she'd felt this. This type of attention from anyone….

Before she knew it, the shirt she was wearing was pulled over her head, and the woman that was laying kisses to her neck was now circling her tongue around her nipple and pinching the other one. The girl gasped and arched her back against the wooded floor upon the dominating touches of the other. "Fang…" She moaned breathlessly as she chewed at her bottom lip. Her mind was fixed on nothing but lust and ecstasy while her body burned for the touch of another, the touch of-

"Ahh Fang!" she moaned out loud, though that wasn't the name she truly wished to call out. Her fingers dug deeply into the woman's scalp when her hands found their way into her panties and started making slow movements over her clit. She gasped and bucked her hips in a wild manner. Her body quivered and shook at the sensation of this carnal desire. But her arousal of theses unchaste actions weren't because of this woman, but from the thought's of someone else.

'Serah...'

She couldn't help it. Vanille had certain feelings towards Serah that made her dislike her but she also had certain feelings for her that sent her body into a sexual hysteria.

She wished this was her touching and feeling and making her squeal and her breath hitch. But as disappointing as it was, it wasn't.

Fang's motions over the girl's clit stopped and there was a tug at her arm that yanked her entire body from the floor. Vanille's mind was in such a tizzy that she didn't even realize that she was picked up and carried off into a bedroom until she was dropped down on a bed.

She looked around but it was so dark that she couldn't see anything. Only a patch of light was shining through the curtains and directly on the mattress, the moonlight.

"Fang where-" She was cut off at the beginning of her sentence when a force pushed her forward from behind and she fell forward onto the bed. Startled, she attempted to get back up but she was immediately forced back down. Then a figure climbed over her and sat on her back.

"Fang..?" she called out again but still there was no answer. Just the touch of finger tips sliding across the entirety of her back in smooth patterns, every little touch her body shivered. She went to turn her head but her hair was yanked and pushed back against the bed. "Fang!"

"Shhh..." The woman whispered then rested her body against Vanille's. The red-head could feel the woman's hard nipples pressing against her back. She licked along the girl's earlobe then nibbled at it for a few seconds, creating surges of heat that rippled like waves across Vanille's body. "Mmm," She moaned as she shifted her hips and pressed her core against the bed. She wished that Fang would stop playing with her.

Vanille gasped when she was roughly turned around to face Fang, but shock overcame her when in fact it wasn't Fang, but Serah instead. She quickly sat up. "Se-!"

The pinkette placed her index finger to the girl's lips and flashed a dark smile. "I'll take care of you." She said quietly as she leaned in and pressed her lips against her's. There was no way this was happening. Vanille began to think crazy fantasy had come true or this was one big delusion had to be clouding her eyes from reality. But she didn't care!. She circled her arms around her the pinkette's neck and kissed back, both their lips fumbling over one another as their tongues massaged against one another's. She couldn't believe this was happening something she's been longing for the longest. This feeling was bliss, no more than bliss it was indescribable.

Serah broke away from the kiss to look at the girl. She could tell in the girl's eyes that she so desperately wanted this but she wanted to hear the girl say it. "You want me, don't you Vanille?" She purred against the girl's neck as she pushed the girl's back against the head board and wrapped her legs around her waist.

Heated breaths and sensual gasps mixed in with moans passed over her lips. Yes she wanted her. She always had, she wanted her body, her touch. She lusted for it all. "Y-yes, more than anything.." She said in a small voice as she bucked against the pinkette and wrapped her own legs around the girl's sides.

"I know." Serah stated simply and pushed one of her legs between Vanille's. It was no surprise to her that the girl's panties were very wet.

The pinkette pulled the girl away from the head board and slammed her down against the mattress. Before the red-head had the chance to close her legs, Serah slipped her own leg in between and pressed it against her wet core. "I'm going to ravage...you."

The way the words seductively fell from her lips made the heat between Vanille's thighs intensify.

Serah stripped the girl of the remaining clothes she had on and grabbed her arms and pinned them on both sides of her body. She leaned in and lay light kisses on her neck before moving further and furthest down towards her breast.

"Mmm!" A chill coiled down Vanille's spine. She closed her eyes and arched her back, allowing another moan to escape her throat as the pinkette teethed her nipples roughly.

"Ahhh, not s-so hard mmph!" She moaned.

"Oooh.." Serah continued despite the girl's pleas for her to stop. "You like it Vanille," She stopped then tongued her nipple for a few seconds. "You don't want me to stop."

She blushed it was true, but she was so sensitive there.

Serah continued nibbling at Vanille's breast and moved her left hand down a little further. She gently circled her fingers on the girl's torso before inching lower and lower.

Ragged and quick pants fell from Vanille's lips as Serah's fingers were just seconds away from her heated spot. Her heart raced and she shut her eyes tightly. "Please...please." She squirmed and bucked. She wanted this so badly, yet she felt so disgusting doing it.

_'What if Fang walks in and catches me...'_

Where was Fang actually? If she were to walk in on this she'd surely try and kill them both! But she could not resist Serah, the girl she's wanted, lusted for for so long! She couldn't turn this down, she didn't want to. "I need you.." She called out. "please just-"

Her words were stopped when Serah's fingers pushed inside of her. The pinkette raised her head from the red-head's chest and looked at the girl with a straight face. Every time she went in and came out she wet in deeper and deeper, making the girl moan out louder and get wetter and wetter by the second.

Vanille's moans grew louder and she bucked and writhed around the bed in a violent manner. The feeling was so satisfying she wanted more if that was even possible.

Suddenly, Serah removed her fingers from within the girl and looked at the wetness that coated her entire hand.

"N-no don't stop!" She grabbed the girl's hand to push it back between her legs but Serah refused much to her dismay. "I want you!." She moaned, crossing her legs over

Serah licked Vanille's wetness from her hand and glared darkly at the girl. The red-head shuttered, noticing the glare was an angry one. But why?

"Who do you want Vanille.." She leaned in against the girl and pressed two fingers against her clit. "Say my name Vanille...and I'll continue to pleasure you." She said and moved her fingers in a circular motion over her heated core before slipping a finger halfway in.

"S-serah!." She gasped sensually."Serah!." She grabbed the girl's hand but again the pinkette rejected her and pushed her down against the bed, holding both arms on either side of her body. "...What are your feelings towards me...Vanille?" Serah growled out of irritation. Her cerulean hues turned icy and again, was glaring down at the pinkette, burning with anger that Vanille was bewildered by.

"I..." She paused, her mind wandered off to the side for a few seconds, remembering the way the pinkette reacted the last time she shared her feelings with her. Would she get the same reaction? But the pinkette was asking..

Vanille's emeralds settled back on the girl's angry pair of ceruleans. She took in a deep breath then exhaled and spoke out. "I-I'm in love w-with you...Serah."

"You love..." The anger in the pinkette's eyes did not vanish but seemed like it only heightened. The grip she had on Vanille's arms tightened.

"O-ouch, Serah stop your hurting me!."

But her cries went ignored. "If you love her so damn much then why are you here with me!." Serah grabbed both Vanille's arms in her left hand and pinned them above her head.

Vanille blinked. "Serah what are you-"

The pinkette took the back of her hand and swiftly swung it across Vanille's face. "That's not my name..." The pinkette said angrily.

_'Not her name...what?'_

Vanille's eyes were wide with shock after Serah had slapped her. She didn't see that one coming at all. She turned her head back to face the pinkette but she was...gone, sitting on top of her was an angry and hurt Fang. Where did she come from so suddenly? But Vanille knew the answer to that already...

"F-fang I-"

"You love her...Serah I mean?" She asked, anger laced throughout her tone with no hint of trying to hide it.

Vanille wanted to lie so badly and say otherwise but Fang knew the truth already, so there was no hiding it. She grabbed the sheets and pulled them over herself. She felt somewhat ashamed right now. "I-I..." She couldn't answer.

"Why come back to me then huh, if the pink haired broad is who you wanted?"

Truthfully, she wanted Fang, in hopes to get Serah off of her mind but her feelings for the pinkette wouldn't fade. They just sat there building up and growing the more she thought about her. It tore her to shreds when she did what she did at the night club this evening, knowing that Serah had gone through so much already. All that just because she didn't accept her feelings. What kind of person was she?

A selfish one... and now here she is toying around with Fang's emotions. "I came to you Fang, because I wanted to get as far as I could away from Serah. I wanted to forget her. So I thought that being with you would do that. But now I realize that by doing that I hurt you. I was very selfish of me I know. And I'm sorry…."

Fang gave her a blank stare for a few seconds then raised her hand to the red-head again, giving her yet another firm slap across the face. It hurt her heart to hit the girl but words wouldn't fix this..it couldn't, but hitting her wouldn't either. She was just really hurt. "What's sorry going to do.." She said in a broken voice. "You were sorry last time. Remember, when you left?"

"But you remember why I left...don't you?" Vanille held the side of her cheek rubbing it gently where it stung. Tears fell from her eyes not from being slapped but the fact that she just hurt someone close to her. She was no better than Serah. "Fang…"

"Well it doesn't matter how you feel towards her." The woman said coldly to the red-head. "She can't have you.." Fang said and pushed Vanille back against the bed and pressed her body against the girl's. "She can't have you, you're mine!."

Vanille parted her lips to speak but Fang violently crashed her lips against her own. Her fingers slipped back into Vanille's slit and the girl's gasped and arched her back against her will. In her mind she didn't want this but her body didn't object to it at all Her arms circled around Fang's body and she moved her hips with the motion of the woman's fingers. "F-fang!" She gasped through shaky pants as she dug her nails into her back. The woman's finger's began slipping in and out faster and faster.

"Aaahh!" She felt herself nearing climax, she pushed her entire body up off the bed and screamed the woman's name as she came. Her body twitched and shook violently before she collapsed against the bed tiredly. She pulled the sheet over her and turned on her side away from the tanned woman.

Fang laid next to the girl and just stared up at the ceiling she knew Vanille was probably hot with her but she didn't care so much, she knew she'd be over it in the morning. She hoped. She turned and faced the direction that Vanille way turned in and placed an arm around the girl's side. "I love you…Vanille."

The red-head said nothing and just pushed the woman's arm from around her. She couldn't respond to that because she didn't feel that way, at least not towards her. Her feelings were for someone else..

* * *

><p><strong>This was probably the shortest chapter that I have written for this story. I hate the fact that it was so short but it wasn't really meant to be long. Either way, I hope it was worth the read. :]<strong>

**Review**.


	11. Conflicted

**Lol when I wrote this chapter I started from the end. I had already known how I wanted the chapter to end so I started with that first. && I found that it was much easier to write this way. Weird right? :) But the chapter itself isn't backwards though lol. Anyhow, read away!."**

**Chapter 11: Conflicted.**

Serah sat up in her bed and slowly looked around her room. As usual it was sunny outside, which was really hurting her eyes. "What happened?" She said aloud, as if she wanted someone to answer, and someone did.

"You got drunk last night and passed out minutes after I showed up." She heard Lebreau answer. Wait, what the hell was she doing in her house?

The pinkette looked over the side of her bed to see the brunette laying in a chair by her bed. "wh-what are you doing here…?" She asked, somewhat spaced out and a little irritated to see the brunette was present. Seems every something happened to her Lebreau was there to pick up the pieces, which she hated. For once she wished that she would just mind her own business for a change.

Lebreau rolled her eyes and sat up in the chair. "I came to check on you after what happened last night and you passed out." She explained.

Now everything was coming back to her, Vanille and that stupid woman, Fang. She frowned and laid back against the bed. What was she getting all upset and moody for? Vanille was only doing to her what she did. But with Fang? And right in front of her face? She sighed and looked down at her hands. Her eyes started to burn and sting with tears. _'What am I about to cry for…Vanille? Pull yourself together Serah…'_

"Uh, Serah?" The brunette called but the pinktte barely heard her.

Who cares!? She didn't care, Vanille was nobody. If that's how she wanted to play she could do the exact same thing. Serah rolled her eyes in the brunette's direction and slowly stood from the bed. "Lebreau…" She mumbled as she walked in her direction. She stopped and stood still for a few seconds, thinking over what she was about to do. Knowing what would happen afterwards when she did. Maybe she shouldn't? "Screw it…" she said lowly then walked towards the brunette. "Lebreau…" The girl moaned softly and sat herself in the brunette's lap, circling her legs around her sides.

"Oh no." Lebreau could obviously see where this was headed. She felt Serah's hands slowly rubbing up and down her back and gradually making their way to the front of her. As bad as she wanted this she refused to go through with it, knowing what will happen in the end. She grabbed the pinkette's hands and held them in her lap. "I don't think so Serah go find someone else to try this on. I'm not falling for-"

"Shut up Lebreau," She interrupted. "You wanna do this just as much as I do." She said with a smile as she pulled her hands from the brunette's grasp and began kissing along her jaw line. "I just need something….." She paused her kissing and pulled back away from the brunette for a few seconds. "I need something to take my mind off of last night. Lebreau please.." She couldn't believe he words that were spilling from her own mouth. No she couldn't believe that she was practically begging the brunette to have sex with her. What was she doing?

She leaned in and started kissing along the woman's neck again, waiting for any type of reaction from the brunette. "Please.." She started began biting and sucking on various areas of the brunette's neck while allowing her hands to explore and touch other parts of her body. She was just hurting and this was the way she handles things when she was hurt, through sexual activity. "Lebreau….."

The brunette tried to resist but it was just too much. She knew she was going to regret this afterwards but if this was what Serah wanted, then she'd do it. "Serah.." She stood up with the girl in her arms and carried her over to the bed where she laid the pinkette down and she crawled on top of her.

Serah pulled the brunette in by the neck and really started kissing her But it wasn't an affectionate one it was more anger filled than anything else. Lebreau could already predict exactly how it was going to be..

_**~xxxxxx~**_

_"Please stop!." Vanille responded, shaking in fear from what the chestnut haired woman would do next. She was a fool for allowing herself to live under these circumstances but she was in love with her. "I didn't mean to it just happened.." What did she do to deserve this type of battery?_

_"It just happened!?" The woman raged as she stepped closer to the red-head, making her nervously step back into a corner. Fang placed one hand around Vanille's neck and the other against her forehead. "So you're tellin' me that you had nothing to do with that man touching all over you the way he was?" Her grasp on the girl's neck has gotten tighter._

_"Answer me!." She shouted and slapped the girl across the face._

_How could she? She couldn't breathe. Vanille's face began to turn red as she gasped for air. "Pl..ple...please..." She coughed and tried to pull the woman's hand from her neck but that didn't work. "F...f..fa...ang!." She choked out, coughing harshly._

_Fang released the girl's neck and she sank to the floor, coughing and holding her neck. "I...it..did...just...happen...I...told him...I told him...no..but...he...when I walked...walked away...he...grabbed me..." She cried and pressed her face against her knees. "Why don't...you..beleive...me...?" The girl sobbed soundlessly._

_Fang flinched and looked at the marks that she left on Vanille's neck and face. Her rage suddenly vanished and she felt disgusted. What was she doing? She looked down at the fragile girl before her and her stomach cringed._

_She loved her so much. But when she felt that someone was trying to threaten their relationship or take Vanille away from her all together this was how she reacted...violently_

_"Vanille.." She knelt down next to the girl but she cower away and pulled away. "Vanille I'm sorry.." She collected the girl in her arms and hugged her tightly. She didn't mean to hurt her. She never did. "I love you and I'm sorry I will never do it again okay."_

But she broke her promise. On several occasions. Vanille shivered and slid down against the wall of the shower. Just the thought of what .she went through gave her goose bumps. Two days after that Fang did it again and made the same promise, only to break it again.

The beatings just became worse and worse. She was so naive back then and believed what she was receiving was...love when it wasn't. She promised herself that when she left she would never come back here yet, here she was...in the home of her abuser. Fang claims she's changed since then but how she acted last night, proved that she was still the same.

Possessive...and controlling.

'_Stupid…' _Vanille thought to herself. She was frustrated with the pinkette she rushed back here. But it wasn't her fault. She had to leave the pinkette. All of her little head games were getting too much for her to handle. Vanille was unable to decipher what it was that Serah wanted. Yet..she missed her so much. "Serah…" She whispered very quietly to herself. Serah may have played around with her but Vanille had to admit, that's what made her start falling for the pinkette in the beginning.

"Vanille..?"

"Huh!?" The girl snapped from her reverie and quickly sprung up off the floor, causing her to hit her head on the knobs that adjusts the water. "Ouch.." She rubbed her head then turned off the water before pushing open the door and peaking her head out. "Yea, Fang..."

"I'm stepping out for a bit, need anything?"

Vanille shook her head. "Uhm, no I'll be fine..." She said while grabbing her towel from the hook and stepping out the shower. The sullen looking girl walked towards the bathroom counter and began brushing her hair.

Fang walked behind the girl and placed her hands on either side of her shoulder, making the girl flinch slightly. "Somethin' wrong?"

Vanille shook her head immediately and feigned a smile. "N-no not at all!. Just thinking..."

"About..?"

_'Your old ways, but mostly Serah….'_ Is what she would have said if she wasn't so scared of Fang's reaction. "Uhm, us..." She lied poorly. She stiffened and held the brushed much tighter than before. "A-all the time we'll have to catch up on...exciting. Yea?" She bit her lip and looked down at the sink. Tears started to blur her vision and drip from her eyes.

The woman's hands tightened against the red-head's shoulder's and she glared into the mirror in front of her, though it went unnoticed by Vanille. She could always tell when the red-head was being honest or just lying. And at this moment she was doing the latter. Vexed, the woman just let out a heavy sigh and kissed the girl's cheek. "No worries we'll have plenty of time for that love. You'll see.." She said awkwardly then kissed the girl's cheek once more before leaving out. "I love you, Vanille.."

Vanille paused her movements and looked up from the sink. Fang was standing against the door frame, giving the girl a rather dark glare. The red head swallowed hard and shifted uncomfortably where she stood. "U-uhm…" she turned around to face the woman.

'_Just say it. It's the only way she'll leave…you don't have to mean it..just make it sound like you do!.'_ Vanille said in her mind.

"Fang I.." She pushed off the counter and walked up to the woman. The girl could feel her heart thumping away in her chest as she circled her arms around the tanned woman's neck. She continued to remind herself that she was only doing this so the woman could leave her alone. She leaned in and kissed the woman's lips before gently pushing away. "I love you too Fang.." She said though her voice was very shaky. Her stomach twisted with regret and guilt about what she just did but there was no taking it back now..

Fang forced a smile though she was glad to hear the girl say those words. But her unstable emotions were conflicting her from believing that the red-head actually meant what she was saying. "I'll see you when I get back.." She said dryly before leaving the red-head alone.

_**~xxxxxx~**_

Serah sat on the sofa across from Lebreau who was sitting with her arms crossed glaring at the pink haired girl. The young Farron simply turned her head in a direction so she wouldn't have to look at the brunette. It was no surprise that Lebreau was so furious with her. This is how it always was after they had sex...well when Serah would throw something in it to kill the brunette's mood.

"So what was that...?" The brunette asked, grinding her voice against the back of her throat.

The pinkette's eyes quickly flicked back towards Lebreau to see her expression was still that of anger, then she looked back at the window. What was what? It seemed that when it came to Lebreau, everything that happened between her and the brunette had to have some kind of meaning behind it. When truely in Serah's mind, there was nothing behind it. In a way she regretted it. Turning to Lebreau at any point when she's in a vulnerable state had to be the biggest mistake. Why? Because it would always end in sex. This time was an exception. She had to get Vanille back for flaunting Fang in front of her the way she did.

_'Wait...what?'_

She slapped herself mentally three times. Why was she doing this to herself. Truthfully, Vanille could be with whoever she pleased. She wasn't going with her. Or even attempted to be with her. Vanille was just...

_'You're just fun to play with...'_

Her _plaything_. That's all she was to her. Right? Then why was it that every time that scene of Vanille and Fang played back in her head, she became so angry.

"Serah!."

"Hm..." Her mind floated from her current thoughts and focused back on the brunette. Honestly, she'd forgotten she was there. "Oh, it was just sex..."

"Just sex..?" The brunette repeated.

"Yea." Serah said dryly. "Why, were you expecting something else?"

Lebreau chuckled. Why was she expecting something else? This was Serah she's dealing with. The emotionless bitch that breaks hearts. Cocoon would have to turn to crystal before this girl had a change of heart. She'd never love her or anyone else for that matter. Why? Because her heart was still with...Lightning.

"Don't you have Yuuj to worry about? Why are you all over me?"

She did have Yuuj but he was just a substitute. As bad as it hurt him, even be knew that. "I do have Yuuj, but I'm not as happy with him as I am when I'm with you...I love you Serah."

Great the emotions again. What didn't Lebreau understand? She tried the raunchy approach, that worked for a bit but here she was now singing the same tune. "Lebreau.." Maybe she needed to try a different approach. "I..." A more calmer one. "I care about you.." She said then gave the woman an empty smile. "But I don't love you nor am I in love with you." She said then averted her eyes away from the brunette upon seeing her eyes fall sad. "It's just that, when I'm with you, all I can ever think about is the day Lightning left me." She closed her eyes as the memories of that day played in her head. "Like I said, I'll always care for you but_ us_ will never happen..again. I wanna start over, I wanna forget and having you around me, isn't helping..."

Lebreau nodded her head. She could understand where the pinkette was coming from even though it hurt her to her heart. "...and Vanille." She said in a shaky voice.

_'Vanille._' Serah sighed and laid her head back on the sofa's arm rest. Vanille was...just her house guest. She was just someone that was staying with her for a little while. Her eyes flicked towards the now vacant room adjacent from where she was sitting. The red head was no one important to her. She could care less about her she wasn't any one she cared about. Serah huffed and slammed her fist against the coffee table unknowingly. Vanille had that sarcastic, cocky foreign chick...Fang!

"Vanille was just staying here." She said finally answering the brunette's question, though she sounded kind of sad about it. "There was never anything between us." The pinkette said vaguely.

"But you care for her don't you?" Lebreau asked.

"No! What gave you that notion!?" She snapped defensively.

Lebreau blinked. "The way your mood switches when I say her name." She stated, standing to her feet.

"That doesn't...mean anything.." Serah just stared off into space and said nothing more. When she heard the brunette's shoes clicking against the floor she quickly sat up and focused her attention to the front door.

"It means a lot Serah…." The brunette said sadly before leaving.

_**~xxxxxx~**_

"I think it's time that we tell her the truth you know…" A male said as he stood looking outside a window that had a beautiful view of the Eden. He softly bit his lip and rolled his eyes over to the person he was talking to. At first he was all for keeping the secret until an encounter with someone else made him realize how wrong the situation actually was. He thought long and hard about it before coming to the conclusion to spill out the truth. The person was hurting terribly and the fact that he knew something that they didn't was really starting to eat away at his conscious.

_**~xxxxxx~**_

Her hours at the night club seemed to be getting longer and longer every time she showed up there. To her there was no more pizzazz like before. Everything just seemed dull and dry. She'd see the same faces every night with the occasional new ones. But it was a strip club after all. What did she expect?

"Can I get a Blue Bolt please?" A male walked up to her and asked.

"Sure coming right-" She glanced over at the individual and glared but was a little surprised. He'd never stepped foot in this place before. So why now? Not to mention this was a twenty-one and older club. This guy was only nineteen. "Sorry you're too young, a juice perhaps?"

"Haha." He laughed smugly. "I'm only here because I need to tell you something."

"Something? Something like what Hope, I'm not in the mood to see or talk to you so please, do me a favor and leave. You shouldn't even be here!." She scolded then looked at the man behind Hope. "What would you like to drink?"

"Serah listen to me it's important!" He shouted but she just tunes him out.

"Surprise me!" The man said then winked at her.

She giggled. "Coming right up!"

"Serah, it's about Li-"

"_Lightning!._" Snow called out to the woman as he walked up to the bar, a bright smile across his face. "Can I talk to you for a min- Oh hey Hope!. long time no see! How's it going buddy!?"

"Not now Snow." He replied dryly. "Serah Ligh-"

"What part of leave me alone don't you understand Hope?" Serah finished preparing the man's drink and slid it over to him. The drink was clear with crushed ice and a cool steam emitting from it. "Diamond Dust." She said with a smile then faced Snow. "Sure Snow, we can talk."

"Serah wait please hear me out Li-!"

"Hope go away!." She interrupted then walked away with Snow. She could care less about what he had to say.

Snow walked off to a far corner in the night club holding onto Serah's hand. She began to wonder why they had to be so far away from everyone. "What s this about...Snow?"

The male smiled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "We've known each other for quite some time right..and I know that our relationship is ambiguous but, I know that my feelings for you are crystal clear..

_'Oh...shit...not another one...' _ "Snow before you finish listen to me I-"

"Marry me Serah!" He said, pulling two necklaces out from his jacket. "I couldn't find a ring yet but I promise that I will as soon as possible. So, what do you say?"

Now she was wishing that she did listen to whatever it was that Hope had to say. Sure she hated Hope's guts but whatever he had to say, she knew it wouldn't have ended in the words _marry me_. Snow was just another person she was screwing. How the hell did he develop feeling over just doing that!? _'What do I say? Nooooooo! No no no no!.'_

"Snow.." She grabbed his arm that he had the chains in and pushed it back to his side. "No, you got the wrong girl. This was a very..." She didn't know what to say. "It's uhm..very-"

_"Lightning!."_

'_Saved!.' _She turned around and seen that it was one of the dancers that called out her name. "Y-yes, Violet what is it?"

Said girl cuffed her hands over Serah's ear and whispered something to her then pointed to one of the champagne rooms.

"You're kidding...right, who is it?" Serah asked, glancing at the back room.

Violet shrugged. "I don't know, but she said she wanted you in there now." She said then walked off.

Serah looked back at Snow and blinked twice. She'd forgotten in that short window of time that he was actually standing there. "I-I'm sorry Snow...I just...I can't..." She sighed. "Can we just be friends?"

He smiled sadly. He had hoped that she would have said yes to his proposal. He nodded solemnly. "Of..course..course we can.."

She smiled and gave him a quick hug before walking away. She knew that his feelings were hurt but marriage? That was a big step. Especially for someone that she had no type of connection with. She opened the door to the champagne room that was at the far right of the night club and walked inside.

The door shut behind her, making the area dark. "Uhm...Hello?" She said allowing her hand to search the wall for a switch, which she had found. She flicked the switch on and a light flashed on behind her, a single light, a spotlight. The light shined down on the table. But the light wasn't the only thing that grabbed the pinkette's attention. There was a figure sitting at the table.

"Who...?" Stepping closer to the table, the face of the person had become much more clearer and when Serah realized who it was she stopped just inches away from the table and huffed. Crossing her arms over one another she rolled her eyes and glared at the person. Just when she thought that the other night was the last time she'd see her, she decides to show up again. "What are you doing here Fang and what do you want? Just seeing you pisses me off so I think it's best if you leave!." She said through gritted teeth.

The woman softly laughed the girl's words off, not taking the words as any type of threat. "Ah relax girly I'll leave ya as soon as I say what I need to say." She said and rose from behind the table. Walking towards Serah, she began circling the pinkette. "There's nothin' special about you…" She said, looking the girl up and down. "Yet Vanille prefers you over me.."

Serah's cheeks flushed a tinge of crimson and her stomach suddenly filled with butterflies at the mentioning of the red-head's name. And did she hear correctly when the woman said Vanille wanted her more than Fang? That couldn't be right if that was the case then Vanille would have…

Serah eyed the woman as she circled her, a small cocky smirk almost similar to the one the woman flashed at her several times the night before. Her eyes narrowed and she laughed more so to mock the woman. "So that's what this is about. You're mad because Vanille wants me?" She pointed to herself and shrugged. "I can't say I'm surprised. Everyone comes back to me." Though she was just slightly shocked that Vanille was even thinking about her. After _that night _she thought that was the last and final time she would ever see or hear from the red-head_. _Maybe it wasn't. She hoped to herself that it wasn't. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were uhm…." She tapped her finger against her chin as if she were thinking of something. "Oh!.." She snapped her finger then pointed at the woman with sardonic smile. "Jealous…"

"Jealous!?" She grabbed the pinkette by the straps of the corset that she was wearing and pushed her back against the cool surface of the round table, pressing her upper body against the pinkette's. Her eyes were full of rage from the girl accusing her of being such. "I'm not jealous!."

Serah chuckled. It was rather interesting watching the woman become all riled up and huffy. "Oh really.." She said casually and gently ran her index finger over the woman's collar bone. "Actions speak louder than words you know." She said and stopped the movement of her finger over the woman's collar bone, realizing how close together they were. "Another thing, I'm very flattered that you wanna be this close I mean I love close contact but much to your dismay, you're not my type. So I'd appreciate it if you'd get off of me!."

"You…." Fang released her hands from the girl's straps and backed away slowly. It irritated her how Serah was so full of herself. "Stay away from Vanille." She threatened

"Hmmm.." The pinkette hummed and shrugged as she adjusted the straps on her corset. She stood from the table and walked towards Fang, smirking and chuckling softly. What the woman said didn't faze her in the least. One moment she was proudly flaunting Vanille in her face, the next she was here trying to keep her away from her. "Can't promise that, if you wanted someone, would you stay away?" She giggled. "Let me give you my answer; No. See I want Vanille so guess what? I'm going after her." She giggled then walked pass Fang and headed towards the door.

Fang's jaw tensed and her hands clenched into fists at her side. She growled loudly and suddenly started to see red. Nothing irked her more than someone trying to take someone or something that belonged to her. And that's just what the pinkette was trying to do. Fang swiftly turned around and absently charged for the girl out of rage. "You….bitch!."

"Huh?" Serah casually turned around upon hearing footsteps quickly approaching behind her. Anyone's first instinct would be to quickly move away, but not Serah. She didn't see the attack coming until it was too late. Fang tackled the girl to the floor and tried to hold her body in place but Serah refused to stay still. The terrified pinkette kicked and wiggled as she desperately tried to get away from the raging woman.

Was it really that serious? She'd never imagined that her messing around would get her into this type of situation. Maybe small things like jealousy and the occasional arguing. But being jumped was on a whole other level. Panicking gasps slipped over the girl's lips as she continued to try her best to get away from Fang. She managed to turn around on her stomach just seconds before the woman's fist was about to connect with her face luckily it missed. "Nyuh! Get off of me!."

Maybe she shouldn't have taunted Fang the way she did earlier. This probably could have all been avoided but she just had to say something to piss the woman off. Then again, the woman came at her wrong so she only reacted the way anyone else would if they were approached that way. Serah turned around for a split second and scratched the woman clean across the face. It was a low move but it was the only thing she could do.

Fang released the girl just seconds after, holding her face cussing and swearing out loud after that. Serah took the advantage and quickly darted for the door but Fang snatched the girl up by the leg and pulled her back in her direction.

"Ahh let go!" She managed to grab hold of the door knob now only thing she had to do was get it open."So you're gonna fight me for someone that doesn't want you!?" She meant for that to be a thought but she ended up speaking it out loud, which only seemed to make the woman even angrier. She felt one of the woman's hands grab a full hand of her hair. Next thing she felt was something connect with the back of her head. It almost felt like a steel pole or maybe even a bat. But no, it was the woman's fist.

Serah lost her grip on the door knob and fell to the floor. She was now disoriented and could feel nothing but pain throbbing in her head. She could also hear her ears ringing.

Fang snatched the girl by the legs and tossed her over into the darkest corner of the room, slowly walking towards her. Eye full of nothing but rage, and her body was shaking from anger.

Serah carefully stood up from the floor and desperately felt around to find out what part of the room she was in. Everything in her field of vision was obscured and blurry. She didn't know whether she was moving away or towards the woman. All of this because of Vanille? "Fang I'll leave her alone alright. I-I won't go near her, talk to her, or even breath the same air she's breathing. O-okay? Just leave me alone please…?" She sounded so pathetic pleading with this woman but she didn't know what this woman was capable of doing. And she really didn't want to get beat up either.

Fang heard her but she wasn't listening. She was in too much of a rage to truly hear the girl's words. She reached out and grabbed the girl's hair again and yanked her head back. Serah didn't even know she was that close to her until now. "I'll make sure you won't.." Fang swiftly pulled her fist back then looked the frightened girl in the eyes. "No one takes something of mine from me." She then swung it at full force into the pinkette's stomach twice, three times, four.

Serah's eyes quickly began to produce tears. Her cries of pain were nothing more than small squeaks and air. She had no strength to yell out. The pinkette fell on her side and curled up as she rocked herself and held her aching stomach her face showed more shock than pain. Again she could only think, about how stupid it was for the woman to be beating her up over someone that doesn't want her. That was stupid…wasn't it?

Fang rubbed her fist against her hand and huffed at the girl. "This is your warnin'. If I catch you anywhere near Vanille, you don't wanna know what I'll do next." She gave the girl a smug smirk before walking off and leaving her lying there. "Later."

Serah heard the door open and shut behind the woman. Her mind was everywhere right now. She didn't know what to think. But the last thing she wanted was to see that woman's face again. Now she was really forbidden to see Vanille again. Getting her ass kicked was not something she expected but it happened and it was no picnic. "Vanille…." She whispered through her tears.

_**~xxxxxx~**_

"Are you alright? You seemed a little out of it when you left."

"Yea Snow I'm fine. Fang was just…a little rougher than most customers that I get, nothing serious.."

"She touched you!? Serah I told you that-"

"Yea, yea, touching isn't allowed in the champagne rooms I know..but what can I say…" She rolled her eyes and huffed. "…She piqued my interest.." She said then scoffed.

"Oh…okay. But I could have sworn you hated her the other day though…"

'_You're right I do hate her!.' _She thought to herself. She really didn't feel like discussing what really happened to Snow. It would have escalated into something much bigger than it already was. And knowing Snow, he would have gone searching out for Fang until he found her. Then that would have caused more problems for her. So talking around the truth was better. "Well you know, can't hold grudges forever!." She said in an upbeat tone then giggled but found herself groaning in pain when her giggle was too much for her stomach to handle.

'_This is going to be even worse in the morning….'_

"I guess so Serah..but if you need anything just give me a call. Alright?"

"Yea Snow.." She said as she approached her home. "That was a close one…" She mumbled. She hopped that no one else had seen her before leaving otherwise they'd tell Snow and he'd really question her. Something she wanted to avoid. "What a night…." Serah staggered up to her door step and began typing in the code in the keypad that would unlock the door to her home. The pad sounded a long beep and the door slid open. Just as the girl walked inside, the door slid shut behind her. She weakly walked towards the sofa and laid across it.

What a crazy way to end the night. She was only screwing with Fang when she said that she was going to go after Vanille. She only said those thing t get a rise out of the woman because she couldn't stand her. She didn't think that the woman would react that way and had to admit that she was pretty damned scared after that. Fang looked to be the same weight, size and had the same masculinity as Lightning. And Serah was no fighter. She was surprised she was able to function properly after taking that death blow to the head. Imagining how much worse it could have been had she said anything else to further piss off the woman was enough to send shivers down her spine.

Serah sighed and buried her face deep into the pillow. As much as she missed Vanille, she knew she wasn't coming back now. As hard as it was to grasp and believe that fact, she had to. "Vanille…" She whispered to herself. "V-vanille.." Her chest ached and her stomach twisted every time she said or thought the girl's name. It really put her in a gloomy mood.

She picked herself up from the couch and dragged herself towards her bedroom. She groaned and whimpered as she tried to make her way to her room. She thought that a nice hot shower and some sleep would make her feel better. But before she could do that, her phone rang. She thought twice about answering it, she was really in no mood to take anyone's phone calls. Reaching into her bag on the side of her, she pulled the ringing device out and double clicked the screen without looking at it. "H-hello…"

"Serah.."

"Ugh," She grunted loudly over the phone, showing her irritation toward the person on the other end. "What do you want? I told you to leave me alone Hope. Why are you calling me?" She said slightly yelling. Hope seemed to be the only person that she's yelled at these days. Simply because he was the only one to get on her nerves enough to make her do so.

"You don't have to be so rude you know." He spat angrily, frustrated with the pinkette for the way she was talking to him. "Had you listened to me earlier I wouldn't have to call you."

"Did you not hear me when I told you earlier, I don-"

"But it's important!." He said, slamming his hand down against the table in his home. "I can't keep it to myself anymore Serah I need to tell you if you just-"

"Listen to you?" She rolled her eyes and sat up on the sofa, crossing her legs over one another. "Let me guess you wanna tell me how much you can't stand me again?"

"No Serah it-"

"Oh not that?" She interrupted. "Then maybe you wanna blame me some more for the events that took place two years ago, hmm?"

"Serah just let me talk and-"

"No!. I don't care Hope, just stop calling me and looking for me. You're really beginning to-"

"IT'S ABOUT LIGHTNING!." He finally shouted out, becoming fed up with all the interruptions from the pinkette. Ever since that night him and Vanille spoke, he couldn't help but to feel some kind of guilty. At first it was a good idea since he wanted to see the girl mourn and suffer because of what she had done but now, It was killing him.

He had to think, what if he was in Serah's position? What if someone told him that someone he cared about was dead but they really weren't? He'd be deeply hurt, and he knew Serah was already hurting, believing that Lightning was dead these two years and she was the cause of it.

"I know Hope, everything you say to me is about Lightning. But you know, I wanna forget about all of this just start over. I've come to accept that Lightning is gone..." She bit down on her lip and closed her eyes. Hearing herself say that was almost unbelievable. "She'd still be here if it wasn't for me I know. As much as I wish that mourning and crying would bring her back, it's not. I'll always love Lightning Hope. Weather you choose to believe it or not, but she's not coming back..."

"Serah I know how you feel, I do but you don't have to forget anything," He swallowed hard then took a deep breath before finishing the rest of his sentence. "because everything I told you was a lie...Lightning is alive.."

**I know, boo me for having Fang be abusive right? I had the idea in my mind for months and was actually going to throw some type of hints that Vanille had been in a past abusive relationship but I was a little iffy about it at first and had to think about it for a good minute. But here it is and I hope you guys don't hate me!. && This is the last chapter of SerahxLebreau. I was kind of getting bored of those to since everything that happens between them is repetitive. But if you all like that couple then I'll keep it in the story just let me know.**

**&& recently I got a response that spoke about me doing this (!.) In case anyone else is wondering, I do it is because my sister is visually impaired. So when she goes to the site on her iPhone, Siri reads it out to her but Siri doesn't pick up the exclamation mark as punctuation and makes the sentences I wrote sound like run-on sentences.**

**On another note, who's excited about Lightning Returns, Final Fantasy XV, and Kingdom Hearts III? I know I went COMPLETELY bananas when I seen all three of those trailers!. Am I the only one?**

**But anyways, hope you liked it. :D  
>Well, until next time, later!<strong>


	12. Confessions

**Chapter 12:**

_'A-alive...'_

Serah chuckled dryly as she bought a hand up over her face. There was no way. Hope had to be delusional. "Hope..she's dead. There was a funeral and everything remember. We were all there...even when they put the casket in the ground." She gave another dry laugh. "She's dead."

This was going to be harder than he had thought it would be. He wasn't surprised in the least. After all he and Lightning did make it appear that she was gone for two years. So trying to convince her otherwise wasn't going to be an easy task. "The casket was closed Serah. How do you know that her body was actually in there? For all you know it could have been empty.."

She shook her head in disbeleif. "Amador told me that-"

"Everything Amador told you was a lie!. The casket was closed because there was nothing to see, there was no one in it Serah.." He explained.

"You're lying..." She said softly. She refused to beleive what hope was telling her even though a piece of her wanted to beleive it. Lightning wouldn't go to that extreme just to make her feel bad about herself. That's probably the lowest thing someone could ever do and her sister was that type of person. "Stop making things up Hope."

"Serah I'm not!. I'm telling you this because keeping it away from you was starting to kill me..." He stressed. "I never told you because I promised Lightning that I wouldn't and at the time I had so much rage and hatred towards you I thought why not. But then I talked to Vanille a few nights ago and-"

"Vanille...?" Serah interrupted. "What's Vanille have to do with this?"

"Well I met up with her a few nights ago by chance and she told me she was hiding something from you but didn't think it was her business to tell. And when she told me that it was about Lightning being alive, I let her know that I already knew that. But when I did, she went off on me and refered to me as a terrible person, which I am. So Serah if you hate me more after telling this I understand. But it's true, Lightning is alive she lives in Eden."

"You're lying!." Serah still refused to beleive anything Hope was saying. Her sister was dead. It took her a long time to accept that but when she finally did she was fine. And now Hope was trying to convince her otherwise. "I can't listen to this any further Hope, good night and good-bye!."

"Serah wai-"

The pinkette clicked the end key on her screen and dropped her phone on the floor. She felt Hope was just lying to try and make her feel better or something but no, Lightning was gone she knew that. There was a funeral and everything. Who would do something like that and not be dead..? She shook her head. She knew the truth and that's what was important.

The girl quickly shot up from the sofa but instantly fell back down, forgetting how bad she was hurting after this evenings beating. Honestly it felt like it had gotten much worse. Probably from lying still for so long. Then again she was only sitting there for ten minutes.

She tried to get back up but it was too painful stand all the way up so she resorted to just lying there on the floor instead. She reached up on the sofa and grabbed a pillow to lie her head on.

She inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly. Her mind wandered back to the subject Hope was talking about. If Lightning was in fact alive, how would she react to that? She arched her right eyebrow and pursed her lips as she thought a little more on the subject.

If her sister was alive all this time and was just playing dead for two years, Serah would be deeply hurt and disgusted. She'd be happy to see her alive but she'd feel numb and dead inside.

But who was she to talk? The way she would feel is probably the way Lightning felt after Serah cheated on her. So in truth if Lightning was to turn out to be alive, she had no right to be mad since she's the one who pushed her to those lengths in the first place...right?

No!. Cause if Lightning loved her that damn much she wouldn't do something so low to make her feel terrible about herself. Sure she cheated but playing dead is not a joke. It's a screwed up game to play and a very hurtful one!.

Serah growled lowly in her throat. She was really reading too far into this and it was really silly of her. She would never experience any of what she just thought about because Lightning is truly gone. She let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. This was a crazy night and what Hope just told her made it no better. She needed some time to sleep everything off. When the morning came, then she'd deal with it.

* * *

><p>"What on Pulse happened to you!?" Vanille shouted in a panic as she ran towards the woman and pulled her hand from her face, revealing three scratch marks trailing from the bridge of her nose to the corner of her lip. "Who did this to you?"<p>

"It's nothing serious Vanille. Just got into a little bar brawl that's all." She lied as she slapped the girl's hand away when she tried to touch the scratch. She couldn't tell the girl the actual truth knowing it'll push Vanille away from her. She was never too fond of lying to the red-head but it had to be done.

"You need to avoid things like that Fang, fighting isn't the answer to everything you know!." She scolded the woman but Fang only rolled her eyes and scooped Vanille up in her arms. She placed a light kiss on the girl's cheek and rested her head against her shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, but I came out alive didn't I? So that's all that should matter."

Fang picked up her head from the girl's shoulder and leaned in to kiss the girl on the lips but Vanille reluctantly turned her head in the other direction. The girl swallowed hard and tensed slightly. She could feel Fang's eyes glaring on the back of her neck and gently pushed away. "I-I uhm..." She turned her eyes down at the floor unable to look at the expression on Fang's face, fearing that it was one that she did want to gaze at. "I-I need to take a shower.." She stammered

Vanille turned as fast as possible for the bathroom but just as she raised her foot from the floor, there was a tug at her arm that made her stumble slightly. It suddenly felt much more silent than usual inside their home. Or maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her because of the nervousness that was running through her at this moment in time.

"Vanille..." Fang hissed vehemently.

The girl was suddenly petrified by Fang's tone. Her heart was pounding fast and she started to breakout in a cold sweat. It was moments like this that she wished she could come up with something to say, or have the guts to say anything, but no, she was terrified of Fang and knew that anything she said that the woman wouldn't find acceptable would result in something terrible.

"Fang I-"

"It's her isn't it..." Fang spat venomously. "That pink haired broad..?"

_'I-I'm in love w-with you Serah...'_

Remembering those words that Vanille spoke the other night when she thought that she was Serah, should have made it blatantly obvious where the red-heads heart truely was. But she thought that throwing herself at the red-head would show her how much she cared for her but it didn't seem to work. Vanille still preferred the strawberry blonde chick over her. "What is it huh? What is it that draws you to her more than me?"

"What gave you the idea I'm thinking about Serah..?" The girl said in a shaky and unsteady voice. Just hearing Serah's name always made her heart fall into her stomach. "I'm with you Fang. You're all-" She took in a slow breath then exhaled it quickly. "You're all I think about.." She said untruthfully and finally faced the woman. As she expected, Fang was shooting a dark glare in her direction that made her immediately look down at the floor to avoid it. "N-not...Serah.." She said vaguely.

"But you're in love with her. Remember? That's what you said." Fang retorted.

The redhead's mouth fell ajar like she was about to say something but no words escaped her lips. She had forgotten all about speaking those words. She was in love with Serah but admitting that again to Fang, would just anger her. And Fang's angry side always ended in violence. What if she were to go after Serah? She didn't want that to happen.

"I-I did..." She started. "But it hurt me to my heart when I seen how badly I hurt you when I said that. I don't wanna hurt you Fang." Vanille walked towards the woman and placed her hand against her cheek. "You're all I care about.." She said then bit down on her own lip hard to the point that it began to bleed out. She hated herself right now.

"Vanille..." Fang's eyes softened upon hearing the redhead speak those words. But for some reason her heart wasn't really feeling it just like earlier that day. Her eyes narrowed dangerously at the girl. "You really mean that?"

Vanille smiled spuriously and nodded her head. "With all my heart.." She leaned forward and pecked the woman on the lips. "I love you Fang." She said in a serious voice that Fang thought was impossible for Vanille to even do. The redhead then gave the woman a long kiss.

And here she was scared that Vanille's love was for someone else. Now she was starting to feel terribly about beating up the pinkette this evening. "I love you too Vanille." The woman said while deepening their kiss.

Vanille's eyebrows curved upward. She was torn to shreds for what she was doing to this woman right now. Lying to her this way and toying with her emotions. Deep down she felt like crying and shouting out to Fang that none of this was real. But what she feared most is seeing this woman crushed and hurt by her. She didn't deserve that, especially not from her.

_'You fucking liar...' _Vanille broke the kiss and buried her face into the woman's shoulder to hide away her tears of guilt. "Fang..." She whispered against the woman's arm as she hugged her. She didn't know what to say. But she knew that this wasn't going to last that long since her feelings for Serah are still evident.

* * *

><p>"Rise and Shine!."<p>

Came a male voice that startled Serah from her sleep. "What the!?" She jolted up from the floor then suddenly shreiked when it felt like she tore a muscle in her stomach. "Dammit!." She shouted out, and leaned over, holding both hands against her stomach. She whimpered a bit while rocking herself to ease the pain, while doing so she rose her head to see a male with platinum hair standing in front of her. Serah's expression changed from that of pain to pure anger and frustration when she realized who it was standing before her. "What the hell...!?" she trailed off when she peeked behind the other to see that her front door was kicked in and two other soldiers were behind him. "What the hell are you doing in my house!? You know this is breaking and entering right? A crime!."

The male chuckled and unfolded a piece of paper in his hand and showed it to the pinkette. "Not if I have a search warrant it's not. As a Lieutenant in the Bohdum Guardian Corps I was given access to your home as well as permission to search it." He said dryly.

A growl formulated in the back of the girl's throat and she quickly shot up from the floor. The pinkette slowly gaited towards the Lieutenant and came dangerously close to his face.

The two soldiers in the back of the Lieutenant quickly aimed their guns at her. "Ma'ma, take five steps back or we'll shoot!."

She ignored the soldiers and smirked at the Lieutenant, snatching the paper from between his fingers, she tore it in half. "What search warrant?" She said, now glowing at the male. "Get out of my house."

"Serah listen to me plea-"

"A search warrant really Hope? What were you going to search my home for, Drugs, weapons, a body?"

"No, none of that just give me a second." He looked over his shoulder at the two soldiers and motioned for them to wait outside. When they were out of sight, Hope began to explain himself. "I needed to talk to you and I-"

She laughed more so to mock the emerald eyed male. "Oh, nice. So you abuse your power so you can talk to me? You couldn't just ring the bell like a normal person would have done?"

"Oh and you would have let me in?" He retorted.

"No!. But that still doesn't give you the right to barge into my home!. I told you last night to leave me alone!." Serah walked towards the kitchen area and took a seat in one of the stools at the counter. Hope was on his last straw with her so whatever it was he had to say better had been important that he raided her home. "Talk.." She said then let out a soft sigh. "But firstly, you're replacing my door. Secondly, if anything you have to say is about Lightning Hope, you better leave now. Because I swear to the entities of this world I will call the Guardian Corps base and have them strip you of your rank for abuse of power."

He didn't think this through fully. Well he did but he didn't think Serah would make a threat like that. And knowing how much the pinkette already disliked him he wouldn't say her threat wasn't solid. The last thing he wanted was to lose his job over this. It wasn't that serious. "Fine just ask Vanille then..she'll tell you!."

"If I don't wanna here it from you what makes you think I wanna hear it from Vanille?" She mumbled to herself, though a side of her did want to hear the truth but she was afraid, what if it was true that her sister is in fact alive? She didn't know what she would do.

"You're just in denial that's all. But fine I'll leave you be since that's what you want. I won't bother you any further." Hope said acridly before leaving the girl's home.

* * *

><p>"So he broke into your house?" Snow said in a tone that offended Serah because he sounded like he didn't believe her. "That doesn't sound Like something Hope would do at all. You sure it was him?" He asked.<p>

After the incident with Hope that occurred at her house, Serah stepped out and decided to go to the NORA bar to relieve some stress.

"What do you mean am I sure it was him?" Serah asked in a snappy manner. She hated when others didn't believe her when she was telling the truth. "All of you," She pointed out at all the NORA members who were standing around the bar counter. "All of you know just how much Hope hates me. Why are you having such a hard time believing it. Hope is not as innocent and sweet as you think he is!." She stressed.

"Lebreau," Serah called out, turning to the woman who was standing on the opposite side of the counter with a margarita shaker in her hand.

"You were with me for a while and have seen how Hope constantly attacks me, right?"

The brunette woman picked up a total of six margarita glasses and lined them up on the counter. She gave Serah a quick blank look while pouring the contents from the shaker into each of the glasses on the counter. "He's just mourning that's all." She responded then pushed each of them a glass. "I mean, someone he was close to is dead...on your account." She said making all of their friends go quiet and stare at the both of them.

Serah chuckled lightly as she picked up the margarita and put the glass to her lips. She glared darkly at the brunette and she did the same. Was she really pulling that card right now. Serah could feel her fingers tightening around the stem of the glass. Any tighter it probably would have snapped from the glass. "Wow, that's low of you..." She finished off the margarita then slammed the glass back down on the counter.

Lebreau smirked then rested her elbows on the counter. "Bit it's true. Am I wrong?"

Serah swallowed hard as all eyes fell back upon her. She took a deep breath then looked in the direction of the door. Her mind was spinning in circles and she suddenly felt nauseous. She didn't expect Lebreau to try and put her on the spot like this. But Serah decided that she'd play along. She exhaled and proceeded to speak. "You didn't seem to care for these past two years. So why bring something like that up now huh? The minute you found out Claire was..." She frowned. "Was...dead, you were all over me." A bright smile stretched across her face as she watched Lebreau's smug expression fade away. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were glad that she was dead.."

Now all eyes were on the brunette. Lebreau huffed harshly through her nose and narrowed her eyes at the strawberry blonde. "Yeah well..." She looked at everyone then back a Serah as she tried to think of a come back to throw at the pinkette. "At least I'm not the one jumping from bed to bed with random people!" She waited for a few seconds to see how Serah would react but that only seemed to boost her confidence. "At least my actions didn't result in the death of someone else. All you do is hurt people. First Lightning, me, who's next, Vanille? All you do is mess with people's emotions Serah. You stick with them until get tired them toss them. You're not meant to be with anyone because all you do is hurt them to the point they want to kill themselves.."

Everyone stood with their mouth agape and their eyes wide except for the two woman in the room. Serah blankly stared at the brunette but inside she was shattered. She would have expected Hope to jump on her this way but Lebreau? So this is how she truly felt about her. "If that's how you've felt this entire time then why were you with me. Answer that!. If you felt that I hurt people that badly them why did you stick around?"

The brunette shook her head. "I told you already and I'm not repeating myself for you again. Go find the red-head and be with her.."

Anything Serah was feeling moments ago faded upon hearing Lebreau's last sentence. So that's what this was about. The brunette was jealous. Jealous because she thought Serah preferred Vanille over her. Well she did but she never said it out loud to the brunette. She smiled and started laughing lightly which changed Lebreau's expression to a bewildered one. "The red-head? Oh!. You mean Vanille." Serah chuckled. "Oh that Vanille is something you know. "She closed her eyes and sighed happily as if she were imagining wonderful moments with the red-head. "She's...she's a good lay." The pinkette snickered, reaching over the counter for the brunette's drink and took it down like it was a shot. "Oh my body's burning for that girl right now, she just makes me wanna..mmmm" she moaned as she bit down on her lip and winked at the brunette who looked like she was ready to explode from anger. "You know what, I think I'm going to see Vanille right now. Maybe she can soothe my body from all this sexual tension that's built up. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do!."

"Speaking of Vanille where is she? Haven't seen her around lately." Asked Yuuj.

"Oh uhm...on Pulse visiting her, cousin." She said speaking the last word very dully.

"Oh, we'll when you see her tell her Yuuj says hello!."

"And how will you get there!?" Lebreau spoke with much hostility in her voice.

"Oh don't you worry about that part, that's my business." She chuckled then winked at the flaming brunette. Serah's eyes danced to the other side of the bar where a lone stranger sat drinking a beer. The person wore a dark sweat shirt with the hoodie pulled over their head. Serah couldn't make out much of anything else about the person because their face was so covered by the hood. It struck Serah as odd since the temperature was so warm and this person was dressed like winter.

The person placed the beer bottle down on the counter top and for a brief second, made eye contact with Serah, well not direct eye contact because the person's eyes were obscured by sun glasses. Serah blinked twice and quirked her eyebrow when the person quickly looked away and turned their eyes towards the counter top. What was that about?

She looked away and went back to conversing with her friends. She made a few glances in that direction every so often to see if the person did anything else strange but they just kept their eyes down at the counter. "Weird.." Why did that person react that way towards her? Like they were panicking about something. She was tempted to walk over there and ask but something in her mind was telling her not to bother.

"Nother Beer..?" Lebreau asked dryly to the stranger. She fixed her eyes on Serah who wasn't paying the brunette any attention and huffed out of frustration.

"No, two shots of Vodka." The person said lowly but Lebreau managed to hear and prepared the two shots for the customer.

"Piece of advice," Lebreau said as she watched the woman down the two shots like they were water. "Never get involved with someone that doesn't know what they want. For example, that pink haired chick over there; heartbreaker. Had her ex not gone and played the suicide game and just accepted the fact that Serah didn't want her, I probably wouldn't be going through this right now." She curled her fist against the counter then slammed it. " Damn you Lightning..."

The person was silent for a long while before releasing a calm but irritated sigh from their lips. It was taking all the strength within them to not get up and connect their fist with the brunette's face. The person raised their head from the counter and looked at Lebreau through their sunglasses. Their eyes were narrowed and a look of disgust was written across their face, unseen by the brunette. "Guess you know how it feels then now huh?" The person said. It was a husky feminine voice. "That's what happens when you take someone away from someone else. So quite bitching and whining about how your pathetic love life isn't going the way you want it to. You're only getting what you deserve." The person removed the sunglasses and quickly rose their head so their eyes could meet with the brunette's. The quick motion caused the hood on their head to slip back a little and reveal pink fringes that fell over their cobalt blue eyes.

"Ligh-!" Spooked, Lebreau gasped and stepped from the counter terrified. Her back clashed against several bottles on shelves causing them to fall and break when they hit the floor, which drew her friend's attention. Was this just another ghostly image like the night in the alley? "Ligh-!"

The person reached over the counter and quickly snatched the woman up by the collar if her shirt. "If you call my name out loud, you'll regret it.." The person whispered in the brunette's ear.

"Let go of her!." It was Snow who spoke out, running towards the hooded person to throw a punch, only to be the one getting punched in the face.

"Still an idiot..." The person spoke then released Lebreau. The person quickly picked up their sunglasses from the counter and darted out of the bar with their head down.

"What in the hell was that about?" Snow said as he stood up from the floor rubbing the side of his face where he'd been hit. "Lebreau are you alright?"

The brunette sat with her back against the wall on the other side of the bar counter, eyes wide and body shaking like she'd seen a ghost. "I uhm…I need to get some air." Lebreau said strangely.

"Lebreau who was that and what did they say to you?" Snow asked in a rage but the brunette only shook her head. "Someone I..used to…know?" That was the second time she'd seen Lightning. Well the ghost of Lightning that is. Those icy eyes and that blank but dark stare she'd give to the people she couldn't stand. The brunette shuddered. It was as if Lightning was haunting her or something. She looked over towards Serah briefly then slowly exited the bar area.

"I'll go check on her." Yuuj said then ran out after the brunette.

"What in the name of Eden was that about?" Gadot said as he sipped at his margarita.

Snow shrugged still holding the side of his face. He sat down next to Serah while leaning his back against the bar counter. "I don't know but if they dare show up here again they'll have to deal with me."

Gadot snickered. "But that person just laid you out. I doubt they'd be worried about you the net time."

"H-hey! They just caught me by surprise that's all!" He shouted, raising his fist in the air at his friend. He calmed down a few seconds after then looked at Serah. "What about you? Have you any idea who that was?"

"Uhm…no." Was her response. The pinkette's only thought was who that person was and why'd they attack Lebreau. Not that she really cared but that was a little awkward.

The bell above the door sounded signaling that someone had come in. Everyone's eyes turned in the direction of the door and seen two very familiar faces. Out of everyone Serah's eyes quickly locked with the one standing on the right, Vanille. The red-head's eyes filled with pure bliss while the rest of her expression just stayed blank and unchanged like she was trying to hide her obvious excitement about seeing the pinkette.

Seconds went by but it felt like an eternity that they were standing there staring one another down, reading each other's expression; lust. Serah let out a breath of air and parted her lips to speak when a blur of blue stepped out in front of Vanille. Serah's eyes rolled upward to noticed the blur of blue was a figure, well te figure's shirt. When she snapped from her reverie she realized that it was Fang. The woman stared down at the pinkette with a dark glare which made Serah give a light gasp.

The pinkette turned her back as a chill had quickly traveled from the tip of her spine down to the base. She let out another shaky breath and laid her head down on the counter. Her stomach started hurting, not from sickness or nausea but the pain from when she was brutally attacked the night before, was surfacing again.

"HEEEY, Fang. Said woman pulled her attention from the girl and looked over the one who called her name, Snow.

"Vanille!." The blond male shouted. "Used to seeing the two of you during the evening hours at the night club. What's up!?" Snow said, ecstatic to see the two women during the day time. Fang laughed lightly at the male and sat down at the counter next to Gadot while Vanille just remained at the door. "Stoppin' by for a drink that's all. Can I get a beer?" She asked.

"Sure thing!." Gadot leapt behind the counter and pulled a cold beer from the fridge. "here ya go!"

"Ah, thanks!" She said opening the beer bottle and taking a swallow of the golden yellow contents. "So what you guys up to today?"

Seeing that they were going to be there for a while, Vanille finally decided that she'd take a seat, right next to Serah. Honestly she didn't want to be here right now but in a way she did. If she came alone she wouldn't have minded it so much but she was accompanied by Fang. She'd told the woman that she didn't want to come here but as usual the argument didn't work in her favor. This was really bad. The red head took a seat next to the pinkette. If she was lucky, then Serah would keep her head down for the time that she was here so they wouldn't have to engage in conversation with one another or stir up suspicion with Fang.

"Wow Snow. How could someone as big as you allow ya self to be hit like that?" Fang joked taking down another swallow of beer.

"No, I didn't he caught me off guard!." Snow shouted sticking to the same excuse he made earlier. The rest of the NORA group or Fang didn't seem to be paying much attention to either the red head or the pinkette. Serah kept her head against the bar counter but turned so that she was facing Vanille. Again the two made direct eye contact with one another. A few seconds went by before Vanille decided to speak out.

"H-hey.." she spoke out quietly then looked down at her hands while fidgeting with them. She didn't know why she was so nervous all of a sudden.

Serah blankly stared at the girl for a brief second before narrowing her eyes at her. _Hey?_ Was that all she had to say after leaving her the way she did? Then that stunt she pulled at the club the night after.

'_Hurts doesn't it?'_

Hell yea it did. Seeing Vanille with someone else that wasn't her, was like a million stabs to the heart and a gunshot to the head. But she can't blame her without blaming herself. Her eyes softened slightly. "Not here.." She whispered. "Wait five minutes then follow me, I'll be down at the pier." She said then stood up.

"Hey Serah where you headed?" It was Snow who asked , noticing that the girl was leaving.

"Down by the beach. This is around the time where you can see the water sparkle!." She said with feigned excitement.

"Oh alright.." He said. Then went back to his conversation with Fang and the others.

Vanille swallowed hard as she turned her back to the counter and faced the door. It would have been a whole lot easier if they would have had their discussion here. They may have had to whisper but it drew less suspicion. What does she look like now getting up and leaving just after Serah did? Fang will automatically know that something is amidst and things will be bad for her and Serah both. She shook her head from side to side and decided against it for both their sake. But a part of her really wanted to go. All this tie she'd been with Fang and not one moment was spent thinking about the woman. Only Serah. She had to.

The moment Vanille's feet touched the floor upon standing up from the stool, her whole body went completely numb. She couldn't move. More like she was afraid to. Her eyes danced in Fang's direction but the woman was still laughing and joking with Snow and Gadot to even notice what she was up to. This was good. Maybe she could slip out unnoticed. She took a deep breath then exhaled though her nose and started for the door. Her heart began thumping loudly in her chest as she did so but she was almost there. An arm reached out to push open the door to the bar but-

"Hey Vanille where ya, goin'?"

The question she was afraid of being asked rang through her ears. Her emerald green eyes stared out the glass door watching as the waves of water clashed gently against the shore then pulled back before repeating the pattern. She swallowed then looked over her shoulder at Fang. Why? She was just seconds away from stepping out why did she have to see her!?

'_Just lie Vanille. and make sure you keep a straight face when you do it or you're fucked!.' _She said in her mind.

"Uhm…" She looked back outside then back at Fang who was waiting for her answer.

'_Stalling will only make it appear that you're lying hurry up!'_

"To get some air." She said quickly. "I love the beach breeze and the sound of the waves as they hit shore. Plus this is a beautiful view just wanna take it all in, yea?" She said with a small child-like giggle.

'_Typical Vanille.'_ Was Fang's thought she knew the girl always loved nature and all its surroundings so she didn't find it odd at all. "Alright then."

She was shocked that the woman even bought the lie! But she wasn't about to stand around and ponder over it. Without a second thought, Vanille expediently walked out the bar.

**~xxxxxx~**

Vanille stepped up to the pier where the pinkette was standing. Serah was at the far end close to the water while Vanille was behind her at the other end in the sand. The red head hesitantly walked up to the girl but Serah still kept her back to her with her eyes out at the ocean. "Serah.."

"Why are you with her..?" The pinkette asked and turned to face the girl. There was a look of shock on the red-head's face. "If I'm all you think about whenever you're with her, then why are you with her Vanille?"

Vanille blinked and her mouth fell ajar. She was in a state of awe and not in a good way either. Was she really asking her this? "Wha-" She was suddenly flustered and irritated by Serah did she not remember this was partially her fault? "Y-you! Are you seriously asking me that right now? And where did you get the idea that I'm thinking about you?" She folded her arms and huffed. "You're the furthest thing from my thoughts.." She lied.

Serah laughed smugly and shook her head. "Well I got a visit from your other half the other night. It wasn't a very friendly visit but yeah, she kind of told me something about how you want me over her." She arched her eyebrow at the girl then turned back to face the ocean. "So I ask again, why are you with her?"

"Because you rejected me.." The girl said almost sadly. "I couldn't just stay with you after that Serah, knowing that.." She trailed off and looked down at the ground as she felt tears start to spill from the ducts within her eyes. She hated this, crying. Especially in front of Serah because she knew that the pinkette still wouldn't accept her feelings even if she was crying.

Serah turned around upon hearing sniffling coming from Vanille. She frowned and looked away. She couldn't stand it, seeing the red -head this way. She remembered the first time she'd seen Vanille cry and it tore her to shreds. She cared for Vanille too much to see her upset and hurting because of something she'd done or was doing. The red-head had to be the only one, besides Lightning that she could actually say that she really really cared about. Serah sighed and walked towards Vanille. She reached out and circled her arms around the girl's waist, catching her by surprise and pulled her into a hug. "Vanille tell me how you feel about me." She asked, pressing her forehead against the red-head's. She placed a hand against Vanille's cheek and flicked away a tear that was trickling from her eye.

What was this some trick? Vanille blinked twice as more tears fell from her eyes upon hearing Serah's statement. She didn't know how to answer. Really she didn't want to afraid that Serah's reaction would be the same as last time. "Why, so you can reject me again..?" She said in a whisper. She didn't know if the was another one of the pinkette's head games so she wanted to be cautious.

Serah shook her head and stepped back away from the red head. She wasn't at all offended by what Vanille said for she'd played with her emotions one too many times. But she was tired of it now as well as tired of hurting this girl's feelings. "No Vanille…" She bit her lip and rolled her eyes in another direction. "I just.." She sighed heavily. "It's just…Vanille, when I'm not with you or around you I feel…empty. When I can't.." She again circled her arms around the girl's sides and pulled her in close to her. When I can't hug you or feel the warmth of your body against my own, it saddens me." She couldn't believe she was actually saying all of this. "Seeing you with someone else that isn't me makes me jealous. I'm…I'm in love with you Vanille. And knowing that I hurt you the way I did breaks my hearts. I don't want to do that anymore."

"…." Vanille was speechless. This had to be some kind of joke. Serah saying all of this to her. The pinkette was never one that was into feelings. She seen that when she chewed out Lebreau for confessing her love for her. But here she was doing the exact same. "Stop playing with me…Serah." She said and started sobbing again. "You may find this amusing but I don't.."

"Vanille I mean it.." She said looking the girl in the eye. Vanille stared back searching the girl's eyes for any sign of untruthfulness but much to her surprise there was none.

"You're….."

"Vanille, how do you feel about me..?" She asked again. She leaned her face in closer to the red-head's to the point where there was no room between either of them and traced her tongue across Vanille's bottom lip before giving it a quick and gentle nibble.

Vanille froze and her breath caught in her throat. She was still very hesitant about spilling her feelings to the pinkette. She had all she wanted to say right on the tip of her tongue but- "I'm on love with you too Serah…" She finally blurted out softly. She needed to say it she'd been dying to say those words and felt that if she didn't say it now, that she never would. And with her this close up on her how couldn't she? "I'm in love with you.." She repeated.

"Vanille…" Serah closed what little bit of space there was between them and bought their lips together in a kiss. Vanille's eyes fluttered shut and she circled her arms around the pinkette's neck. This was bliss, sweet sweet bliss. She'd yearned for this moment for a long time and finally, finally she got it and nothing else or nobody else mattered. Only-

"Vanille….." a raged filled voice called from the back of the kissing couple.

The two broke their kiss and quickly stepped back from one another. They both turned their eyes to the person who called out the red-heads name. Vanille gasped and took two steps back behind Serah while the pinkette stared up in fear.

"F-fang…" Vanille stuttered.

* * *

><p><strong>I had a lot of trouble coming up for a name to this chapter which is why it has taken so long for me to pot. I already posted 7&amp;8 with no chapter title and refused to post this one the same way. But here I am doing it anyway because I don't want to keep you all waiting any longer. But I would be very greatful if you all can help me with a title for this chapter. But That's all for now, stay posted for the next chapter and wonder what is in store for these two! :]<strong>

**Over and out!**


	13. Serah&Vanille

**Chapter 13: Serah&Vanille**

"F-fang..."  
>Vanille mumbled in a terrified manner as she clenched on to the back of Serah's shirt and hid her face against the pinkette. The look in Fang's eyes was anything but kind at this moment. If anything, they were both going to feel the terrible rage of this woman. Serah more than Vanille, little did she know.<p>

"Fang listen to me.." She started while nervously fiddling with her fingers.

Vanille was silently damming herself. If only she would have just been completely honest with Fang from the start then maybe her and Serah would not be in this situation.

"Vanille..." Fang called darkly to the red-head. She was in a state of shock and anger. Her eyes continuously shifted between the green eyed girl and Serah. But everytime she looked at the pinkette it was like a thousand daggers were thrown at her something she really wished she could do at this point. A whirlwind of emotions were running through the woman. The pinkette could easily tell. She felt numb. "You..bitch" She absently started walking in Serah's direction. Pushing Vanille off to the side, the pinkette's eyes grew wide in terror and she started to take small steps back to avoid the angered woman. Serah almost felt the need to run but couldn't find the will power to do so. What was she running for anyway? The woman warned her to keep away from what was hers but did she listen. She didn't take heed to the woman's words in the slightest. She was kind of ready to take whatever the woman was going to do to her but what scared the hell out of her is whether she would live through it to see another day. She barely made it out the first brutal attack. The memories of that deathblow she took to the head made the girl's body twitch unintentionally.

"Fang stop it!" Vanille grabbed the woman's arm upon seeing the terror that had struck Serah causing the pinkette to freeze up in fear. But the woman snatched her arm from the red-head's grasp and pushed her back.

"Wh-what now Fang..?" Serah stammered and somehow found the will to take a step back. Her heart hammered in her chest and her breathing patterns were uneven and quick as the events from the night before continued to race across her mind. Fang looked as if she was ready to kill her. But again she found herself asking, was it that serious? Strangely she could feel the anger of the woman like it was just spilling from her body and filling the air around the both of them. All her rage was visible to the pinkette she could see it flaring in the woman's eyes and it really scared her. Serah gasped and suddenly tripped up over a large lump of sand and fell onto the ground. "!"

Fang swiftly reached out and grabbed the pinkette by the collar. Searh's eyes grew even wider if that was possible. She had a feeling what was coming and her body started to quake while goose bumps appeared over her entire body. She somehow forgot how to breath correctly during this moment since every breath taken was a struggle and didn't feel as if she was breathing at all. Vanille's voice could still be heard in the background pleading for Fang to leave Serah alone and to not hurt her. The pinkette was hoping for the same. She'd already taken brutal beating once and still wasn't quite healed to endure another one. "S-so you're going to beat me up in front of her? That's awfully smart of you!." Fang clenched her teeth together and swiftly drove her fist for Serah's face after the girl's remark. All of Serah's sarcasm was only adding to her rage. When her fist was only seconds away from the girl's face, something hindered the action from occurring. Fang felt a tug at her arm that she tried with all her might to tug away from but it didn't seem to work no matter how hard she tried. Fang growled loudly in the back of her throat as her eyes shot down darkly at the terrified pinkette that was still bracing herself for a punch that wasn't going to happen. "Let go of my arm Vanille!." She said, knowing who it was without having to take a look. Words alone couldn't express the hurt she was feeling currently. Just the presence alone of the pinkette was enough to make her want to- "No one takes what's mine away from me. No one!" She shouted. And attempted to pull again making thin pinkette's body quake even more but Vanille would not let go.

"I'm not yours...Fang." Vanille said lowly out of fear but loud enough for Fang' ears to hear. "I love you Fang but...I just can't be with you." She flinched a little when Fang's raged eyes settled on hers. She almost lost balance and stumbled a bit but caught herself quickly. "There are a list of reasons but the main one is because-"

"No..." Fang's eyes for a few seconds lost the rage in them and reflected sadness and worry. "Don't say it.." Vanille was everything to her and the thought of losing her or her leaving again just made Fang want to die. Living without Vanille was like not living at all to Fang. When Vanille left her the first time Fang lost it. Who knew what she would do this time. "You don't mean it anyway.."

Vanille felt a part of her shatter. She hated when the woman looked at her that way because she could never get used to a sad and heartbroken Fang. But she's seen this face several time on many different occasions. Mostly when Fang made promises of never to strike her again. But those promises all were broken and she continued her abusive and over protective ways. And the red head was sick of it. If she continued to live this way and never speak up then she'd never be happy. She had to shatter her fear of Fang and express to her how she really felt. "No Fang, I do. I-I...love Serah." She stammered but her words got out nonetheless. "I only said what I've been saying to you because I was scared of what you might do to me or even Serah. It was wrong of me I know but if you weren't so abusive towards me I wouldn't had to have covered it up with lies."

'_Abusive…..?'_ Serah thought. _'Wow….'_

Vanille's eyes started growing teary upon her confession she didn't want to start crying but it's what came while unleashing the emotions she had built up for so long. "I do love you Fang I always will but I love Serah more."

Serah felt her stomach twist at the choice of words Vanille had used. It was ironic how similar they were to the words she used when she had told Lightning she was in love with Lebreau. It almost made her feel guilty...almost. It was like Fang was Lightning, taking the terrible news that her lover was leaving her for another, and Vanille was herself, delivering the heartbreaking news and having to deal with the aftershock of what it might cause sometime later. Serah only hoped that it wouldn't involve death like her situation did. Then she'd feel even worse.

The grip that the woman had on Serah's shirt was released after hearing what Vanille had to say. Her mouth fell agape as if she wished to say something but no words came out not even a small sound. She was unsure what to feel at this moment. Angry, hurt, lied to, heartbroken. The emotions were all occurring at the same damn time that she just felt numb. "So, that's how you really feel huh?" Her voice was devoid of emotion as she spoke. She pushed the red head away from her and kept her eyes to the sandy surface. "Tch, you can have each other. I have no room in my heart for liars.." She said in a distasteful tone.

"Liar...? How dare you call me such a thing!" Vanille said in a very shaky tone. "Whenever I told you the truth about something it resulted in something terrible so I-"

"Shut...up..." Fang said dryly as she turned and started walking away. "Stay away from me Vanille. And you too you pink haired broad." She looked over her shoulder at the two one last time. Tears were present in her eyes but her face devoid of emotion. This made Serah feel terrible. The whole thing was like a flashback in her eyes. "I never want to see either of you again..." Fang said then ran off across the beach.

"Fang wait!" Vanille called out to the woman but she kept going and didn't look back. She gasped quietly and fell to her knees in the sand. She didn't want it to be like this. She wanted it where her and Fang and Serah could have worked out their problem and they would remain close friends. But the complete opposite happened. "She hates me..." Then those tears. Vanille had never witnessed Fang crying until now and it wrecked her emotionally knowing that she was the cause of it.

Serah kneeled down behind the girl and hugged her. She knew words wouldn't fix this since she already been though a similar situation. And saying that everything was going to be okay was a lie. "I know it hurts right now Vanille but don't blame yourself because none of this is your fault.."

"But I...S-serah.." She wept and pressed her face into the girl's chest. Serah held the girl tighter and said nothing more.

* * *

><p>Serah laid across the sofa in the living room of her home staring blankly up at the white ceiling. She let Vanille sleep in her room tonight while she laid on the sofa. She could of slept in there with the red head but Serah thought it to be terribly awkward with the red-head's current mood. Then the pinkette wanted to be alone anyways and on top of that there was a lot on her mind. Her eyes danced towards the television that was on and showing a cartoon of a cat chasing around a mouse but she was barely paying any attention to it. She sighed and covered her face with her arm. She was really worried about Vanille. The way Fang spoke to her was just the way Lightning did her before she left and everyone knows what that did to Serah. Just look at her now for crying out loud. The last thing she wanted was for Vanille to feel regret for what she did. She didn't want her and Vanille to end up the way her and Lebreau are currently. So if Vanille comes to the conclusion that she loves Fang and wished to be with her she wouldn't stop her. Yea she'd always have feelings for her but, she'd never want the red head to regret her feelings for her like she does Lebreau.<p>

Just as she was slowly closing her eyes to fall asleep, arms laced around Serah's sides startling the girl slightly followed by light pressure pressed against her abdomen. The pinkette looked down to see Vanille staring up at her with a false smile and sad eyes. Serah blinked twice then turned her eyes back to the bland white ceiling. Little did the red-head know that Serah was able to see right through her poor façade.

"Stop that..."

Serah said blandly, making the girl blink in confusion. "Don't smile if that's not how you're truly feeling Vanille. I know you're not okay so you don't have to pretend."

Vanille's smile faded and she quickly glanced off to the side and held the pinkette tighter. No one has ever been able to read her like this girl just did. Her eyes misted up and a tear ran from her eye and splashed against the wooden floor. She didn't want to have to cover up her emotions but she also didn't want Serah to think that she was having second thoughts about being with her either. Though in a way she was. Vanille couldn't remember the last time she hurt anyone so bad it made them cry. It was always the other way around. And seeing Fang that way earlier, really shook her up. But this is what she wanted. No one else. Nothing else. Just Serah. Yet she was feeling so...so guilty about it.

Serah sighed and embraced the girl. She sat up and kissed her on the forehead before standing up and walking towards the giant window adjacent from the television. The night was coming and Phoenix could be seen burning dimly in the sky. "Vanille..." She said dully facing the window, leaning her head against the cool glassy surface. "You know that you don't have to stay here right? You can go whenever you're ready to. I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do alright. If you need time to yourself do that. I just don't want you and I to end up like..." She paused and took in a deep breath but exhaled a shaky and ragged one. She took in another breath and a whimper followed. She couldn't understand why she was getting ready to cry but she was. Vanille was just another person right? Just like all those other people she screwed around with. Vanille wasn't…_special_ was she? No that wasn't true because she loved Vanille and she was the first person she openly admitted that to since Lightning.

"...Serah.." Vanille quickly walked behind the girl and hugged her tightly. "Serah I'm not going anywhere!. I told you already, I love you!. I don't want to be with anyone else. So please," She hugged the pinkette tighter as her sobs became more and more audible. "Don't cry..."

"But you're still in love with Fang. I can tell it's not that hard to see which is why-"

"Yes I know. I am Serah but you can't just turn feelings off and on. You of all people should understand that because of your feelings towards Lightning..."

She nodded her head slowly. Vanille was right after all. Though Lightning has been gone for two whole years, she still loves her and no one in the world could change that. Lebreau tried and failed. So she understood Vanille's feelings and found it selfish of herself for trying to make the girl forget Fang right away. It wasn't that simple. "Y-you're right, I-I'm sorry about that..."

Vanille shook her head and wiped away the tears from the girl's eyes. "It's fine Serah. Just give me a little time. Not time away either. Just time to get over this issue."

The pinkette chuckled and kissed the red-head on the lips. "I don't mind."

_Ding dong!_

Vanille kissed the pinkette back softly and gently bit at her lip.

_Ding dong!_

"Mmm, one moment Vanille." Serah went to get up but the red head pulled her back down and started kissing her again. "Ignore it." Vanille said and placed another kiss to the girl's lips. "They'll go away eventually."

_Ding ding ding ding ding!_

"Yeah, I highly doubt that." Serah responded and stood to her feet. "I'll just be a second alright." The pinkette strolled off to the door as the constant ringing continued. Whoever it was better had have a good reason to be pushing at her doorbell like a mad person. "I'm coming I'm coming!"

Serah pressed the button on the side of the door and it slid open. "Oh?" She smiled smugly and leaned her shoulder against the door jamb. "Well, well, well! What brings you here hmm? Are you here to-"

"I don't have time for your smart ass remarks right now Serah!" The brunette said and pushed passed the pinkette and entered her home without being welcomed inside. Serah raised an eyebrow and showed feigned concern towards the other. "What's the matter Lebreau? Something wrong?

"There is something I need to tell you and you need to know it right now!." The brunette exclaimed.

Serah sighed. An uninterested expression showed on her face as she folded he arms across her chest. "Look Lebreau whatever it is I'm sure it can wait until another time. I was kind of in the middle of something before you decided to come waltzing in here. So please-"

"It's about-" the brunette paused in the middle of her words when another figure entered the room. She growled lowly and glowered at the other before turning to the pinkette with a look of disgust upon her face. "So this is what you were in the middle of doing, Vanille..." She clenched her fists together when she spoke the red head's name. that pang of jealously boiling at the pit of her stomach. The anger that came over her whenever she seen the green eyed girl was hard to explain in words alone.

"What's it to you!?" Serah snapped. Her expression went from neutral to angry. Lebreau was always sticking her nose where it didn't belong.

The brunette took a few steps towards the red head until she was up close and in the girl's personal space. Vanille just looked on at the brunette as if her actions didn't bother her. She'd grown immune and tired of Lebreau's acts of jealousy towards her and has recently found it to be rather annoying.

"You're no better than anyone else that's been with her up until now. She'll care for you for a short period of time but then that's it. When she's tired of you, you'll be kicked to the curb like she's done me." She shook her head slowly. "Why? Well that's pretty clear because you're not Lightning. Hell if Lightning were to pop up right now, Serah would drop you without a second thought." She smirked and shrugged. "But of course that'll never happen because Lightning is..._dead?_" The brunette spoke, putting a lot of emphasis on the last word as well as speaking it in more of a questioning tone.

"Lebreau...out!." Serah growled.

"Which goes into the reason why I'm really here Serah. What I have to tell you is about your sister!."

"!" Serah froze and her breath caught in her throat. This was the second person in the same day to bring up something about her sister. Frankly she was sick of hearing about it and wished others would stop bringing her up. "Lemme guess, she's alive right?"

"Ye-yeah! I've seen her twice already. Earlier today at the bar. That person with the hood on who ran out after punching Snow in the face. Then the night in the alley when I had a confrontation with Vani-" She paused realizing she almost slipped up and said something wrong. "N-nevermind. But what I'm saying is- hey wait a second," She said, baffled by what The pinkette said. "How did you know?"

Serah slapped her forehead and groaned out of pure frustration. "Cause Hope came to me with the same tale. What are you two in cahoots with one another or something? Trying to play with my head!? What do you think this is funny?"

"What the hell Serah, no. In no shape or form do I find this situation funny. Why would I come to you with this if I made it up?"

"Because like Hope you don't wanna see me with anyone. You just want me to live in guilt for the rest of my life!."

"That's not the case Serah just hear me out-"

"No!. Just get out of my house!."

"But it's true! Ask Vanille even she knows!."

"Wh-what?" Vanille swallowed hard and rose her hands in defense. "Don't put me in the middle of that I have no idea what you're talking about." She lied. A cold sweat trickled down the side of her forehead. This was starting to become a little bit too much. Yea she knew Lightning was alive but she didn't feel that it was her business to tell. She felt Lightning and Hope should be the one to spill the beans since they're the ones who concocted the cruel intention.

"Yes she does!. She's lying to you Serah. She was there that night I the alleyway when Lightning showed up!."

"You mean when you attacked me..?" Vanille added nonchalantly.

"Attacked? What!?" Serah exclaimed. She glowered at Lebreau and pointed in the direction of the door. "Leave, Lebreau. And tell your partner in crime Hope to leave me alone to."

"Serah you have to believe me Lightning isn't dead!." Lebreau continued to stress.

"Yea, yea. I've heard that only a million times. I was there, seen the casket and everything go in the ground. Lightning is dead and six feet under the ground Lebreau. All you seen is an apparition of her which probably comes from your guilty conscious. How do I know?" She opened the door and pointed outside, a gesture telling the brunette she had to go. "I experienced it already. Now get out."

"But she spoke to me Serah. And apparitions don't speak. She punched Snow so hard in the face he fell over. Who, what female is capable of taking down Snow like that but Lightning!."

She had a brilliant deduction but Serah refused to believe the hints that were slapping her in the face. "Maybe it wasn't a female genius!. It probably was another guy that punched Snow!." Then again, there was that one moment in the bar when that hooded person briefly looked at her then quickly turned their head away, like they were hiding something. Serah's eyes grew sad but her emotions were of anger. What if...what if... "No" She clenched her fists and shook her head. "Everything you're saying isn't true. All of it is made up Lightning is gone. She wouldn't...she.."

Lebreau shook her head. There was nothing else she could say or do at this point. She wanted to believe that it was just some ghostly image as well but those two encounters with the stone cold soldier was too real. "You're just in denial now." She said leaning against the sofa and crossing he arms. "But if Hope told you , and I'm coming at you with the same story. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"Yeah that you're both liars! Now leave!."

"Gladly..." She pushed off the back of the sofa and started for the door. "If I were you Vanille, leave before you get too attached!." Serah allowed the door to slide shut before the brunette had the chance to say anything further. This was the second person she's heard this from. But from the two people she couldn't stand. For all she know they were out to get her. At least that's how she painted the picture. Serah knew that a wave of questions was about to come from Vanille about what Lebreau just said and decided that she'd address it before the red head would have the chance to say a word.

"Listen to me Van-"

"You don't have to explain anything Serah..." Vanille said calmer than Serah had expected her to be. But it put he at ease more or less. "I've had enough encounters with Lebreau to know that she says and does most of her actions out of spite and jealously alone. However, I can't help but wonder, what if Lightning were actually alive? What if she isn't dead and she just so happened to show up here? Where would that put us then Serah?"

Serah could do nothing but let her mouth hang half ajar. She couldn't answer that question honestly without hurting the red head's feelings. And she was tired of doing that. Where was this all coming from so suddenly anyway? If Lebreau didn't come over here and put such nonsense into Vanille's head they wouldn't be having this conversation and she wouldn't be standing here trying to come up with a way to dodge Vanille's question.

_'Damn...'_

"I-I do t quite know Vanille...and that's my honest answer. Because if Lightning were to show up, I'd be overwhelmed with too many emotions. The main one being anger. I'd probably hate her if she just randomly showed up here alive and well after making me believe that she was dead all this time." She said morosely.

Vanille frowned and turned her glance to the window. This was bad. She only hoped that Lightning continued to stay away like she asked of her. Serah has been through enough with believing she was dead. Just the thought of her reaction of finding out if her sister was truly alive, Vanille didn't want to imagine that.

"But, no worries there." Serah said and walked in front of Vanille, throwing her arms around the girl's neck. "It'll be a cold day in hell before my sister shows up to my doorstep alive and well. And I can guarantee you that that's never going to happen!." She said followed by small laughter.

Vanille giggled nervously.

_'I hope not...'_

"But, you're okay. Right Serah?"

She nodded. Truthfully she wasn't. Not with this information hanging over her head. But it wasn't something she was about to dwell on and stress over. She knew the truth no one else's opinion on what they believed mattered. "Yea Vanille." She said and nuzzled her cheek against Vanille's. "I'm fine but I have one question.

'_Uh-oh…'_ Vanille suddenly felt her blood run cold through her veins. She had a feeling that she knew what Serah was going to ask and reacted the only way she knew how and quickly kissed the pinkette. Her lips lingered on hers briefly before she pulled back a few seconds after to see what Serah's reaction would be.

The pinkette smiled but continued with her question. "Why are both Hope and Lebreau-"

"_Uh-uh!.'_

Vanille kissed her again..

"That you've-"

And again.

"That you've seen-"

And again, but didn't pull away this time instead she prolonged the kiss before dragging it to the pinkette's neck.

Serah closed her eyes and dropped her head back a little. She took slow breaths as Vanille's lips traveled along her neck but slowly pulled back even though she didn't wish to. "Vanille I'm trying to ask you something.."

Vanille frowned and slanted her lips to the side. "Yea I know what you're going to ask. And like you, I'm tired of hearing about it Serah honestly."

The pinkette blinked twice and laid back on the floor, tucking his arms behind his head. Vanille was right. Then the red head really had nothing to do with her and Lightning's situation because she didn't even know her. "Alright. Besides, it's not like you've actually met Lightning...so asking you that question would be pointless.."

"Exactly!." Vanille agreed.

Serah smiled and kissed Vanille on the forehead. "You know, I've been thinking..." Serah said, grabbing Vanille's full attention.

"About what?"

The pinkette sat up on her elbows and smiled. "I need to get away from this place for a little bit so, let's take a nice trip to Eden for maybe a week or two. What do you say about that? No one else just you and I."

"E-eden...?" Vanille stuttered. That was one of the last places she wanted to go for any type of get away. Why? Because Lightning was there!. Serah was unaware of this but not her. Which increased the chances that they would bump into the stoic woman. "I don't know Serah..." Vanille tilted her head to the side. "Eden has never shouted vacation spot to me.."

"Are you kidding me Vanille!? That's one of the top vacation locations in Cocoon!. Well besides here in Bodum. There is a beach resort there bigger than Bodum's and the best part is being on the beach at night it's really a beautiful sight. But besides all of that, I think it would be a great place for just the two of us." She nodded. "Oh yeah, we're going!. We leave tomorrow."

"I don't know Serah, I really don't like the idea." She said in a unenthusiastic tone. Serah tilted her head to the side, a frown present on her face. It kind of hurt her feelings that Vanille wasn't as excited as she was about the vacation. But what she didn't understand is why Vanille was trying to talk her out of it. "You don't wanna go Vanille? I mean I thought of it as a great moment for us to spend time with one another. What's wrong?"

There was that question. Vanille slowly rubbed her hand against her arm and hesitated before answering. She was trying to think up something that she could use to block the true reason why she wanted to avoid Eden. But nothing was coming to mind. "Uhm…" She breathed out a nervous breath and her eyes grew to an enormous size. "I uhm…" Then..

_DING!_

"Because Fang lives there..in Eden." A lie. "I-I just don't want us to run into her. Knowing the hostility she has against us. I don't want there to be a problem.."

"Oh…" Was the pinkette's only response. She frowned tried to think of another location that was considered a vacation hotspot. She would say Palumpolum but that was a place to go if someone wanted to shop. There were small beaches where one could relax but that was it. She shook her head, just thinking about that place was boring her then Nautilus came to mind she didn't want to go there either. While it was a an extraordinary place to visit filled with endless fun, Serah found it nostalgic and almost melancholic since Lightning and her had visited that place from when they were younger all the way until they _together_. Serah sighed and rolled her eyes towards the floor. If that was the case she shouldn't want to go to Eden either. That place held many memories of her and Lightning as well, too many to be honest. But it was such a perfect spot. "I don't know Vanille, can't think of anywhere else to go…perhaps we can just stay here at home and-"

"No, no, no, no!" Vanille shouted out shaking her head from side to side frantically. She suddenly felt bad for complaining about the pinkette's location choice. Last thing she wanted was to kill her lovers mood. "I'm sorry I was being selfish, if you wanna go to Eden so do I. I'll go where ever you go Serah!. I'm sure it'll be fun!." She said in a very very fake enthusiastic tone. Serah didn't pick up on it much to her dismay.

Serah blinked several times before sitting up on her elbows. "You sure Vanille?" I mean I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with where we're going if you don't wanna go I honestly don't mind just sticking around here y'know."

Vanille disagreed and insisted that they'd go. They had already talked about it so backing out now was out of the question. "I'll be fine really we're going!."

'Fisrt you're againt it now you're for it….make up your mind chick!.' Serah thought as she gently pushed Vanille's figure from over her and stood up. She reached out a hand to the red-head in which the girl took and helped her up. "Well then, I'll make reservations tonight, and we'll leave tomorrow evening."

Vanille nodded, a feigned smile stretching across her face. "Right!."

* * *

><p>Her mind screamed loudly at her as she paced the floors of her house trying to decide on what she wanted to do. Why was she even beating herself up over this problem in the first place? Why did she even care. She grunted and slammed her fist against the window hard enough that it was possible for it to shatter. Her actions startled the individual that was sitting across from the pacing woman. The male wore a heavy frown and his eyes held more guilt than anyone that she's seen before. She made eye contact with the other but quickly shifted her gaze elsewhere. That look he was giving her made her stomach twist in a thousand knots and she hated it.<p>

"She won't believe a word I say to her. She thinks that everything I say is to make her suffer." He turned his head towards the window to the beautiful night view of Eden. "And I don't blame her you know. I have been rather harsh to her for these two years. Only way for her to see the truth is to make an appearance...Lightning."

The woman's pacing came to a stop."Not gonna happen!." The pinkette shouted. "I can't Hope. I just can't. It'll just..." She shook her head and started with her pacing once again. "Dammit.." She mumbled. She wanted to see Serah she did, but it was better to just see her from a distance. What would she look like showing up at Serah's? She'd have a lot of explaining to do and that was something she was always bad at. "It's best this way Hope. I'm just going to continue to keep my distance as I was already doing. I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have, and I don't think I'd be able to deal with the heavy guilt that will come with this confession."

"You feel guilty..?" He chuckled. "That's new."

"There is a first time for everything you know.."

"Yea but for you that's an extremely rare case. Anyhow, look if it helps I'll go with you alright. I mean you weren't in this alone. I went along with it as well."

"My decision is final Hope, and I'm not changing it."

Hope sighed in disappointment and shrugged his shoulders. Trying to convince Lightning to do anything after her choice was set in stone was difficult. He wasn't ready to give up yet but when he started to say something else to the pinkette, Lightning was walking for the front door. "H-hey were not done here Light where are you going!?"

Lightning slipped her hoodie over her head and pressed the button on the side of the wall that allowed the door to slide open. "I'm going for a walk. We're done here Hope nothing you say or do from this point forward can change my mind. You can let yourself out when you're ready to leave." The door slid shut when she stepped out.

Hope dropped his head back on the small table and sighed. This wasn't working out the way he had planned it in his head. The male stood to his feet and walked towards the door. If Lightning wouldn't co-operate and Serah wouldn't either, then Vanille was his last hope, that is if the red head would even talk to him.


	14. Unstable

**Chapter 14: Unstable**

"What? No kidding!?" Snow shouted at the top of his lungs as he took another sip of his beer. Serah sat directly across from him which made his overreaction rather annoying on her part. Vanille was on the outside down at the beach while the conversation was taking place. Serah was relieved knowing the conversation would probably trigger sadness in the girl. Serah nodded laxly and sipped at her glass of water before returning it to the counter. "Yep, then she left. Vanille's pretty shaken up about the whole thing. I can't blame her though." Serah said and turned her back to the counter so she could stare down at the red head who was walking along the beach.

"Wow. I had no idea." Snow said dumbly. He felt terrible that he wasn't out there to stop the altercation between the three woman. After Serah and Vanille had stepped out, he, Gadot, Maqui, and Yuj had started playing the drinking game and had gotten really shit-faced. Fang had probably only two drinks before she left the bar to find Vanille after a while. "Wow so what," He started and lifted his beer mug from the counter once more. "You and Vanille are like a thing now?"

Serah was somewhat reluctant to answer knowing Snow's feeling towards her. Discussing her relationship status with him about another was a little weird if not awkward. "Yeah you can say that." She said more to spare the other's feelings though it didn't bother Snow in the least.

"Well, if anything I'm happy for you Serah!." He said much to the pinkette's surprise. "I'm glad you've finally found someone you can be happy with. That miserable you was really starting to get to me." He chuckled and scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit. "Kind of thought you were really turning into Lightning on me."

"Yea.." She said absently and folded her arms against the countertop. "I think that everyone had that impression at one point." She chuckled then smiled a bright smile the one Snow was used to seeing before Lightning's untimely death. "But no more." She said gleefully and sprung up from the bar stool, stretching her arms up over her head followed by a cheerful giggle. "I've accepted that Lightning is gone and nothing in the world is going to change that." She said and nodded her head. "I'm done mourning and wishing for something that's never going to happen."

"Alright!." Snow said rose his beer mug in the air, some of it splashed out onto the counter and also on Serah but the pinkette didn't seem bothered by it. "Good to have old Serah back."

The pinkette turned around with a joyous smile stretched across her flawless features. "Yup!." She said then sat back down in the bar stool. "Oh!." She'd gotten so caught up in their conversation that the reason for coming to the bar in the first place totally slipped her mind. "Right, Snow," She said catching the male's attention though he was gulping down his beer. "Vanille and I are not going to be at work for at least two weeks." She told him. Snow nearly choked on his drink upon hearing the news and quickly swallowed down the contents and returned the mug to the counter top. "Wh-what, two weeks? That's too long. The two of you are my best girl's!."

Serah shrugged. "Yea well get Lebreau, the crowd loves her too. I'm not cutting my vacation time for no reason. I'm leaving later this evening." She stated simply.

Snow sighed. "But Serah!." It was too bad that the conversation was over before it truly had a chance to really begin. Serah was already walking out of the bar. That was one trait that the Farron sisters both shared. Once they said something there was no changing it.

Serah walked down to the beach where the red head was standing and looking out at the gentle clashing waves. The pinkette walked up behind her and wrapped her hands around the girl's sides. Strangely Vanille didn't have any type of reaction to it, puzzling Serah. Only when she called out to her did she realize that she was there.

"O-oh..Serah. Didn't realize you were there." She giggled and nuzzled into her lovers hug.

'_I see that much...'_

"You alright Vanille?"

"Yea I'm fine." She lied. "Just so caught up in the beautiful view I got a little spaced out for a while.." Vanille couldn't truly bring herself to tell the honest truth. She was really thinking about how high their chances were that they would cross paths with the older pinkette up in Eden. But she didn't want to ruin her and Serah's good moment do she continued to blow off her nervous moments with a smile.

"It's her isn't it.." Serah said in concerned tone. She rested her head against Vanille's back and curled her fingers through one of her orange pigtails. "You're thinking about Fang aren't you?"

'_No Serah..that's not it at all..'_

It hurt her to have to continue to lie to the pinkette this way but she had to. She didn't want to imagine what would happen if she were to just come out with the truth. The chance that Serah would stick with her afterwards was zero. But then her guilty conscious was picking at her as well. She turned to the pinkette and pulled her close into her arms. Vanille hugged onto the girl as if she would fade away if she didn't. "Serah.." She whispered into the girl's ear. Was her actions selfish? Was keeping the truth from Serah just so she can have the pinkette to herself a selfish act? Her nails pressed gently into the girl's arm, making small visible crescent moon shapes on the sides of her arm. Maybe it was.. "I am but.." What did it matter right? So what she was selfish. If the truth were to come out today or tomorrow and Serah was to leave her, "only when I'm alone.." At least she could say that- "When I'm with you, the thoughts of her never surface..." That she had someone who really loved her. "So..promise me you won't ever leave me.." She said softly to the point her words were barely audible.

'_What..?' _Serah blinked several times, baffled by Vanille's words and frankly worried. Where was this coming from so suddenly? She wondered if the redhead was dwelling on the nonsense that Lebreau was talking the other day. "Vanille I-" Serah gently pulled from the red heads embrace and placed her hands on her shoulders. The girl's eyes were facing the sandy surface and Serah could have sworn that she saw tears falling but she wasn't entirely sure. "Vanille, I would never leave you. Not for anyone.." So you can erase that silly thought from your mind."

"Not even for Lightning.." The girl felt her own body shiver at the question. She knew that was an extremely selfish question to ask but she needed to know. More like she was dying to know.

Serah flinched and bit down on her lower lip._ 'Where is this coming from.. ?'_

The girl's words echoed and rang in her ears like loud bellowing church bells. "I-I..." Serah didn't know how to respond really. Telling her the truth would tear the girl to shreds and lying to her would only make herself feel like shit. Serah narrowed her eyebrows and sighed. Her stomach was twisting so much she felt like she was about to vomit, and she suddenly developed this pain on the left side of her brain. "I-I.." She started though she didn't fully have her thoughts together. The redhead rose her head and looked at Serah with those sad tearful green eyes. Right there that's when Serah became stuck, tongue tied. "I, Vanille..no!"

'_Fucking liar!.'_

Serah cursed herself in thought. She had a feeling she was going to regret this later on. But Lightning was dead? What the hell was she stressing over this for?

'_You're a real idiot Serah..'_

"Vanille Lightning is dead, so how can I leave you for her?"

"What if she was alive..?" The red head asked dryly.

'_What the..?_' Serah tilted her head.

"Vanille.." Becoming sick of the subject Serah sighed from frustration and rubbed the side of her temples. "She's not though Vanille..now can we please drop this..I'm tired of talking, and hearing about Lightning. Why is she suddenly the topic of interest lately..?" She placed a hand on the red heads cheek and gently stroked it while letting the other hand brush through her soft orange bangs. "Vanille I love you. I don't know how many times I have to stress it but I do. I know I've been a terrible person prior to our relationship but, I don't want to be like that anymore."

"I know you do Serah it's just-" She pulled away from the pink haired girl and stepped back. "I don't know..."

'_She's pulling away from me..'_

"You're doubting me..?" Serah said narrowing her eyebrows again. She didn't get it. What was wrong with Vanille all of a sudden? "What is it Vanille..?" She said her voice was now shaking and she felt her eyes start to sting, like last night. "S-so I guess you wanna leave?" Vanille was the last piece of her sanity that she was able to hold onto. She didn't want to go back to being alone. All alone in her home. With the screaming silence. The horrid memories of every terrible thing she did. She needed someone so she could forget those things. Someone like Vanille. "V-Vanille!?" She called out to the girl that was only a few feet away from her. "Please..please tell me what's wrong so I can fix it.."

Her voice..the sound of her saddened voice was enough to make Vanille want to grab the pinkette and hug her. She wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay. That everything was fine, that she was fine. But she couldn't. That wasn't true. One of them were going to end up hurt by the end of all of this and it wasn't going to be Serah. Maybe she should back out before this storm becomes worse. But Serah...

Vanille looked up at the pinkette who was looking at her with desperate eyes. She didn't deserve this at all. It wasn't even fair. Because she was oblivious to what was truly taking place around her. Vanille doesn't want to hurt this girl. This poor girl that's been through so much pain and heartache. Vanille didn't want to be the next person to cause her misery. She'd rather suffer from it than let the pinkette go through the cycle again. "Serah.." She called weakly and gathered the trembling girl in her arms. Vanille hugged the girl tightly in a secure hug and kissed her forehead. "It's nothing alright..it's just me over thinking things that's all." She whispered softly into the girl's ears. Serah's body continued to shiver violently in Vanille's embrace as she tried to hold back her tears. "I'm not leaving you Serah I already told you that I can't. I care about you too much to do that to you."

And hearing those words put her heart in a better place. Serah loosened up a bit and cried softly into Vanille's chest she was glad that the redhead decided to stick with her. Loosing Vanille, the last piece of her sanity, she didn't want to imagine what that would be like.

* * *

><p>There was an awkward silence between the two for a long while after they'd gotten home from the beach earlier that day. After packing, they had approximately six hours left before they had to leave for the train station. Both Serah and Vanille sat on either sides of the sofa just staring around at everything but each other. Vanille fiddled with her fingers and twiddled her thumbs while Serah just slowly combed her fingers through her pink locks resting on her shoulder. The red head chanced a glance over at the pinkette and waited for a few seconds to see if she would do the exact same but she didn't. Her eyes just stayed glued on the coffee table in front of her. She was spaced out. It bothered Vanille a bit and she wanted to know what had her lover's mind so occupied but she was too afraid to ask and just turned her head back towards the large window adjacent from her.<p>

The pinkette sighed and continued staring at nothing. She didn't notice this for her mind was in other places at the moment. Thinking about a number of things. Mainly what Hope and Lebreau told her.

'_Lightning is alive_.'

She doesn't believe that and never will. But everything keeps tying back to her ex-lover who is allegedly alive. Why?

'_They're fucking with you..'_

Yeah that's all it was. Hope couldn't stand her guts and would do anything in his power to make her life a living hell. She doesn't blame him thought. Lightning was like his mentor he looked up to her in many ways. Then there was Lebreau..but what would her reason be besides her being jealous. Then again her jealousy has nothing to do with Lightning. Her problem is with Vanille. None of this was making any sense. Then the other day in the bar, the hooded person.

'_What other female is capable of punc_hing _Snow like that but Lightning Serah!.'_

'_Then there was that day in the alleyway. Ask Vanille she saw her!.'_

_'If you don't believe me ask Vanille!.'_

No. She closed her eyes shut tightly and forced the thoughts from her mind. It's nonsense. Nothing more nothing less. If Vanille knew anything she'd tell her. She turned her head in the direction of the redhead but no one was there. "Huh?"

Suddenly, a pair of hands pressed against both sides of her cheeks and turned her head to face forward. It was Vanille. The red-head was sitting in her lap. Wait when did she get there and how did she miss that? "You okay Serah?" She asked and glided her fingers along the pinkette's cheek.

"Yea Vanille I'm fine.." She lied blatantly she said it a little too quickly. The red head didn't look like she was buying it either by the frown on her flawless features. "Hey," Serah said calmly and smiled to cover up her blah mood. "Don't make that face. I'm okay. I promise." She lied and laid back on the sofa.

"If you say so.." the red head commented and shifted her position to where she was now sitting on the girl's stomach. Now who was she to question weather the girl's answer was honest or not when she'd been lying as well lately.

Serah turned her eyes towards the wall and suddenly started spacing out again much to Vanille's disappointment. Now she knew for sure something was definitely up. Whatever it was she wanted to take her mind away from it. But how..?

"A-ah!" She exclaimed. And much to her surprise there was no reaction from the pinkette, not even a small flinch. A streak of crimson stretched across the red-head's cheeks as a thought crossed her mind but she was a little hesitant on going through with it. She didn't know how Serah would react. That's if she reacted at all.

'_Doesn't hurt to try right..?'_

Nervously and almost hesitantly, Vanille slid her shaky hands underneath the light blue tank top the pinkette was wearing.

Still no reaction.

'_Okay...'_ Vanille pushed the tank top up enough to expose the pinkette's small petite and toned stomach. Vanille's blush darkened. The many times she's seen Serah's body she'd never taken much time to truly observe the girl's figure. She was almost a little jealous. The girl's fingertips wandered in soft patterns across the pinkette's perfect stomach. While doing this she leaned down and placed gentle kisses there.

Serah snapped from her thoughts upon feeling the gentle kisses being placed upon her skin. She shivered a bit before sitting up on her elbows the see it was the red-head. "Vani-!"

Vanille pushed the pinkette back down against the sofa. She stopped her soft kisses and crawled on top of the girl's body and leaned close until their foreheads were touching. Their eyes met momentarily only staring at one another. Vanille's expression was unreadable which made the pinkette wonder about the blush along her cheeks.

"Serah." Vanille called to the girl lowly in an almost melodic tone. She tugged at the straps of the girl's tank top and made small circles at the center of her chest with her index finger. Her eyes shot to the girl's neck where she leaned in close and placed a series of small kisses there. Vanille's wanted this for a long time, for as long as she could remember. She remembered the first time she had ever touched Serah. That time when she wanted to get back at her for teasing her so much. But this time wasn't like that. She wanted this girl so badly right now.

Serah let out a heated sigh and tilted her head as Vanille's lips continued to kiss along her neck. She bit down on her lip and kept down a moan by just exhaling loudly. She hated how just one simple touch could easily set her off. "Vanille.." Serah called out and latched her hands around both the girl's arms her nails pressed deeply into her skin.

Vanille pulled her lips away from Serah's neck and they locked eyes on one another again but not for long. Serah quickly clashed her lips against the girls in a matter of seconds making the redhead groan out in pleasure. Strangely instead of becoming much softer and gentle like Vanille thought, the kiss became much rougher than any other one they'd shared. Their teeth clashed too often and Serah kept chewing at her lip. More like biting at it, and not softly either. She knew her lip had to be busted if both of their's weren't. Was she angry with her? That question lined her mind but Vanille ignored it and tried to keep up with the pinkette.

"Ah!" Vanille cried out when she suddenly felt herself being lifted from the sofa. Quickly she wrapped her legs around The pinkette's sides and her arms around her neck. Serah tore her lips away from the red-heads and drew her own bottom lip into her mouth, sucking the blood away that was running from it. Holding the girl at her sides, Serah walked towards her room, staring blankly into Vanille's eyes. They were clouded almost. She also looked like she wanted to ask something. Reaching her room, Serah walked inside and closed the door behind her. "What's wrong, Vanille?" She asked as she laid the redhead on the bed. She crawled over Vanille and caressed the girl's cheek with the back of her hand. She could see that there was something bothering her.

Vanille's viridian hues rolled off to the side for a few seconds before switching back to rest on the pinkette's. "I-I.."

'_Should I tell her not to be so..rough_?'

"N-nothing." She decided against it, regretting her answer the minute it left her lips. "I-I just..really want you right now..Serah."

Serah blinked several times. For some reason this felt like De Ja Vu but she couldn't remember when this happened or who it was with. Lebreau maybe? Why did the position her and Vanille was in feel so familiar. Like she was here before but the circumstances were a tad bit different?

'_What's wrong with me..?'_

"Serah.." The redhead called. There she was spacing out again. She grabbed the pinkette by the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Serah wasn't hesitant with kissing back either but like before it was still extremely rough. Not wanting to complain, Vanille just chose to endure it and whatever that followed with this.

-**xxxxxx**-

Vanille laid on the floor, staring wide eyed up at the spinning fan hanging from the ceiling. The cool breeze spinning down brushing across her lightly sweating figure. She breathed deep heavy breaths as a shaky hand reached up and brushed back her orange bangs that were sticking to her forehead. The redhead's eyes danced to the pinkette that was lying across from her, but with her back facing her. What, what happened? She could barely remember much of what occurred. Her mind fogged over at a certain point but she couldn't remember when.

Visible red marks were all over her neck and thigh area from the constant biting and sucking that the pinkette had done in those areas. Black and blue marks were visible around her wrists and biceps where her grip was so tight. And her lips so bruised, busted and chapped from the excessive and violent kissing they were doing if it was even safe to call it that. Her muscles were even hurting.

She reached out to touched the pinkette's shoulder but Serah quickly stood up from the floor and made a beeline for the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Serah placed both her hands on either side of the sink and took slow shaky breaths. She couldn't even bring herself to look at her reflection in the mirror. She felt so disgusted. Wrong and ashamed. '_Wh-what was that.._' She thought to herself. No. Why was she asking herself that question? She knew what it was and what she was doing when she did it. It was nothing new to her so why was she acting like it was? Anyone else she's done it with she's never regretted it. But it was never like this. Not how she did it with Vanille. She didn't feel anything at all when her and the redhead were sexually involved with each other. Instead her mind was elsewhere. When she came to, she was horrified. Seeing all the markings she put on Vanille unknowingly, it made her sick to her stomach. She loved her but she did this to her.

'_Meaningless sex._.'

That's what it was.

'_No_.' She shook her head.

It was something else..more like someone else.

She felt absolutely nothing when she had sex with Vanille just now. Why? Cause she was too busy imagining that it was someone else. Someone else that she missed so much.

Now she knows why everything she did earlier up until this point felt so familiar. Because she done it before..many of times with that person.

'_Lightning_..'

But she was dead then why was she-

'_Lightning is alive._'

"Dammit!."

**Knock knock knock.**

The knocking on the door didn't faze her it was almost as if she didn't her it. Serah tried her best to even out her breathing patterns but it worked to no avail.

'_You don't believe me just ask Vanille. She was there!'_

_'No Vanille would tell me..I trust her.'_

Turning for the door she yanked it open and standing there was Vanille, all bruised up. She hardly showed it but Serah could tell she was hurting. Thanks to her. Looking The redhead made her sick. She never knew she was capable of doing something like that to someone.

'_You're disgusting..'_

"I know.." She said out loud but lowly. She reached out and grabbed the girl's arm, causing her to jump from slight pain when she did.

'Was I that rough?' She frowned.

Vanille saw the worry in the girl's eyes and did he best to force a smile to reassure the pinkette that she was fine. "I'm alright Serah." She said and placed her hand on top on the blue eyed girl's. Though she wasn't. But for her lovers sake she had to act like it.

"Fine..?" Serah said in a questioning tone as she looked over the girl's body, flinching every so often at how dark some of the markings were. "Vanille It looks like I.." She trailed off and took some steps back away from the redhead. "What did I do..?"

Vanille gulped and closed her eyes. The memories weren't at all pleasant but they weren't all bad either. She couldn't quite remember all of everything but some of if flashed back to her mind. "It's nothing Serah h-honest..I'm fine." She said and feigned a smile. The girl turned her back and walked towards Serah's bed where she sat down. Her phony smile grew even wider as her eyes danced towards the clock to notice what time it was. "Besides, we have to start head towards the station soon. The train for Eden leaves in two and a half hours silly!."

Serah wasn't at all convinced that Vanille was okay. Those markings scared the hell out of her so the way the redhead acted had to be around the same reaction if not identical. Serah's frown remained present as she walked towards her the small couch in her room and grabbed the outfit she laid out the night before. She gave Vanille one more look of concern and the redhead only smiled. Not know much of anything else to say, she disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

When Vanille heard the shower come on in the bathroom her smile dropped. She sighed and slid from the bed. Walking towards the full body mirror of the front of the bathroom door, Vanille looked at her naked figure. Touching the black and blue marks on her arms made her flinch and whimper a a little. But most of her soreness was..down there. The redhead crossed her legs and bit down her her lip. It honestly hurt to walk and even sit because of the throbbing pain down there.

She wasn't shocked or anything. She was a little used to it since Fang was kind of rough when it came to sex, but Serah was much more violent with it. Trying to compare the two wasn't even a contest. The bathroom door opened up and Vanille swiftly stepped to the side. A cloud of steam came out followed by a fully dressed Serah drying her hair.

"It's yours." The pinkette's comments though her words were muffled into the towel. Nonetheless Vanille understood what she had said. Vanille had walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Reaching for the button to get the shower started, she pushed the glowing blew button that was for the cold water. For a few seconds she stood there and watched the water rain down from the shower head before she stepped inside. She shivered a little bit and sat down on the floor of the shower. She dropped her head against her knees and just let the cold waters wash over her skin. Every now and then it felt like pins and needles sticking in her skin but he could care less. If it was able to wash her terrible mood away then she didn't care.

* * *

><p>"I'm really sorry Serah!."<p>

"Vanille it's fine honestly. We made it nonetheless so stop worrying so much." The pinkette stated for the umpteenth time to the redhead who was sitting across from her on the train. They had made it with only five minutes left before the train had to leave. Vanille had spent nearly two hours in the shower. Probably trying two wash away those disgusting marks she left on her. Serah squeezed her eyes shut and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. However it didn't seem to work, seeing how the marks were still there and very fresh.

Thankfully the baggage check wasn't as hectic as Serah remembered it to be. Her and Vanille made it onto the train within the last two minutes and here they were now on their way to Eden like they had planned.

"O-okay..." The red head said and peered outside he window as the train started moving. "So," she started to break the awkward silence between the two of them. "I was thinking that after we get there we can go-" but like earlier today, Serah wasn't listening nor was she paying attention. That blank look was present on her face and she was staring directly ahead at nothing. "Serah!?" Vanille called out to the girl and grabbed both the pinkette's hands.

Serah flinched not when the girl called her name but when she felt her arms being tugged at. "H-huh..?" She said snapping out of her thoughts and returning to reality.

"Honestly Serah," Vanille started sadly. She reached up and touched the pinkette's cheek with her hand. "What's wrong with you? And don't tell me nothing." She looked at the girl with pleading eyes as she waited for her answer.

Great. Her eyes rolled off into another direction, to a kid that was sitting across from her. The boy looked at her with his shimmering hazel eyes and flashed her a bright childish smile. She was almost tempted to do the same exact thing but direct it towards the red head. But she knew the flash of a smile was not going to help her out of this situation. Vanille had already been aware since earlier that something was sitting on her mind. Briefly she directed her eyes back to Vanille. She placed her hand over the one that the girl had resting on her cheek and bought it down to lay in her lap. "I'm just, worried about you is all." She said with a straight face. Well it was half of the truth. It was better than a full blown lie.

"I told you already.." Vanille said lowering her eyes to stare down at both her and Serah's hands. "I'm fine." Her head shot back up quickly, a smile present on her face. Her eyebrow twitched under her orange bangs and goosebumps appeared over her entire body at the vicious memories of earlier.

_"Be still!."Serah growled lowly to the red head and pushed her back against the headboard. And just like that Vanille listened. She hated herself for being so submissive. Her body shuddered violently under Serah's touch. What was this all of a sudden? The girl lowered her head, breathing slow and raggedly. Sensual moans and incoherent words left Vanille's soft lips as Searh's hands and lips wandered all over her body._

_"A-ah!"_

_Vanille's head shot up and her head fell back. Biting her lip and arching against the bed's headboard, she groaned in the back of her throat when Serah-_

So maybe some of them weren't all that bad but that was very few. She cleared her throat and grabbed both the girl's cheeks in her hands. "But never mind all of that silly. We're on vacation. This is supposed to be a happy moment Serah!." She leaned in and pecked her lover on the lips and drew back quickly. "Smile!." She giggled.

She could tell the girl's excitement was fake which didn't clear up her gloomy mood in the slightest. She turned her head out the window, watching the puffy white clouds float across the massive blue as the train zoomed by. The girl was right after all, they were on vacation and it should be a happy moment. She'd feel pretty bad if she was just moping around the entire. "You're right. I'm sorry." She said before breaking her frown with a smile. "I'm here with you and that's all that matters. She said and threw her arms around the girl she hugged her tightly.

Vanille smiled brightly despite herself and returned the hug. Squealing loudly, she pulled back and threw her hands up in the air. "This is going to be the best trip ever!."

'Just as long as we don't run into Lightning..' She thought. She prayed to the entities above that the woman stayed in her home for the time that they were in Eden.

-**xxxxxx**-

"Eden Beach Resort please." Serah said to the cab driver.

"That'll be 2500 Gil please." The driver responded.

Serah placed the amount of Gil asked in the drivers hand and he started to pull off. Serah sat back and looked at Vanille who was staring outside the window at the bright lights and tall buildings in the busy city. The night had fallen which made the Capitol look much more lively and exciting than the day time. "I take it that you and Fang never went out into the city often.."

"Huh?" She said turning to face the pinkette briefly before turning back to the window when something of interest caught her eye. "What do you mean?"

'Huh..?' Serah's eyebrows narrowed.

"Remember you told me Fang lives here as well. Right?"

"..." A jolt shot down her spine causing her to jump slightly though she played it off and slid back next to the pink haired girl and nuzzled her head into her chest. She had forgotten that she had told that outrageous lie. She really needed to keep up with what she says before it winds up being her own undoing. "O-oh right that. No not really. Fang did mostly but I always stayed at home."

"Why?"

"U-uhm.." She sighed and started playing with some of the strands on Serah's hair. "I don't really like talking about it much.."

"Oh," Serah rubbed the top of the girl's head. "Then, don't worry about it. You don't have to discuss anything you feel uncomfortable with talking about."

Vanille grinned and buried her face into the pinkette's chest. She was glad she decided against picking her for information she'd rather leave in the past. "You're too good to me Serah.."

'Where did that come from?'

"No Vanille, if anything you're good to me. Putting up with all the crap that I put you through. I'm surprised you stuck around this long.." The pinkette said, expressing her gratefulness to the redhead. "I'm glad to have you in my life."

"Oh Serah!." The redhead giggled and flicked her lover's nose. Her stomach was doing cart wheels and somersaults at this point. Merely from guilt alone but she didn't care and did her best to ignore it.

'_If everyone else can make selfish decisions, don't I have that right as well?'_

_'You do..' _She said in thought answering her own question.

"If you say so..Serah."

* * *

><p>"Royal Flush!." Gadot said as he spread his cards out on the table for his friends to see.<p>

"What!?" Both Snow and Lebreau said in unison.

"Man that's just crap!" The brunette complained and tossed the cards down on the table. "You're cheating I know you are. How is it that you get a Royal Flush for the past seven games!."

"And I'm broke now." Maqui said with a sad face. "I was gonna house that Gil to purchase new parts for the new device I'm working on. Now I gotta wait til next paycheck."

"Haha!" Gadot laughed as he scooped up the pile of Gil at the center of the table. "Don't hate the player hate the game Lebreau! Better luck next time."

It was a relax evening at the Nora bar in Bodum. Instead of going to the eastern side of town and opening up the night club this evening, Snow decided that he'd take a break for a change and take the night off.

"You're gonna hate me in a second if you don't shut up!." The brunette grumbled.

"Geez sore looser!." He stuck his tongue out at the girl but jumped up soon after when she started chasing after him.

"Stay still you jerk!." She shouted as she ran behind the male.

"No way so you can hit me!."

The rest of their friends just sat back and laughed as the two quarreled about the recent game. Yuuj collected the card and shuffled the deck. "So how about Chronobind?"

The others frowned and shrugged their shoulders. They had enough of card games that involved their money for one night.

"How about the drinking game then?" It was Yuuj again who made the suggestion.

"Yea, how about not." Snow suggested. "Last time we got crazy drunk, Serah, Vanille and Fang got into some bad altercation. Well it could have been bad but it wasn't. What I'm saying is no crazy drinking. Suppose something happens!?"

"You're such a Debbie Downer Snow," Yuuj said as he continuously shuffled the cards back and performed crazy card tricks with the deck. "Speaking of those two, Vanille and Serah, we should call them down here! I'm sure Serah would bring some pizazz to this place, Vanille too!."

"Yeah!." Maqui added. "Let's give them a call!"

"Not going to happen man," Snow said eyeing a bottle of gin on the counter top. "They are away in Eden for two weeks."

"Wha!?" He lost his concentration and the cards shot all over the place. "Man this blows!."

"You know Yuuj." Snow said and stood up from the table he walked over to the bar counter and picked up the bottle of Gin. "I'm pretty sure nothing is going to happen tonight. So," he placed the bottle down at the center if the table. "Let's play the drinking game. But were also playing spades. Double sevens. Whatever team gets seven books twice in a row wins but the other team, the losers have to drink!."

"Cool I'm in!." Lebreau said and sat down next to Yuuj.

"Yea me too." Gadot said as he sat down at the table rubbing his head.

"Awesome!. Highest diamond deals first."

The group of friends sat at the table and started the game process. About an hour and a had rolled by and Lebreau and Yuuj were on their seventh shot while Snow and Gadot had none.

Yuuj raised the shot glass to his lips with a shaky hand but before the contents was able to spill over in his mouth, he dropped the glass and his head fell against the table. "I-I'm done!"

"Ugh you're such a light weight!." Lebreau said and gently tapped the male on the back of his head.

"Yea we won!" Snow and Gadot slapped one another high five and cheered.

Lebreau, slightly feeling the effects from the alcohol stood up and walked behind the bar counter. She knew that she was going to feel this in the morning she needed to get home soon.

The bell above the door rang signaling that someone had come in. A figure walked up to the counter and placed 3500 Gil on the counter top. The figure wore a black hoodie with the hood pulled up over their head and a pair of dark sunglasses. They sat up at the counter and folded their hands under their chin. "Absinthe straight no ice." The person asked.

"Ooooh." Lebreau commented and chuckled at the customers request. She had her hands pressed against the counter top and her head hanging down with her dark locks covering her face. She couldn't see the person. "That's a strong drink there, you sure you want that just by itself?" She rose her head to further explain the drink to the customer but she jumped back and fell against the floor. "Y-you again!." She said out loud for her friends to hear.

Snow and the others quickly drew their attention to the bar where they heard their friend call out. Remembering the figure from before, Snow quickly ran over to the hooded person and grabbed them up by the collar. Angered, tossed the figure towards the wall but they quickly caught their self in mid air and landed on the ground with ease.

"Fucking idiot." The person called out and rushed back towards Snow, punching the blond in the face.

Snow stumbled back a bit and held his jaw. He curled his hand into a fist and threw it towards the figure but missed when they swiftly dodged to the side. The figure grabbed Snow by the collar of his coat and tossed him into the table they once occupied.

"Anyone else..?" The person asked as they looked around at the rest of the crew in the bar. They all just stepped back or off to the side not wanting to get the same treatment their friend received. "Thought so.." The person said and returned their attention to the brunette behind the counter. The figure pulled the sunglasses from their face and laid them down on the counter. Next they pulled the hood from over their head, revealing a head full of pink that fell just over their right shoulder. The bangs slightly covering their eyes.

"No..fucking..way.." Gadot said before letting his mouth fall ajar. Maqui doing the same.

Snow finally managed to pull himself up off the floor after being tossed so violently a few seconds ago. He dusted himself off and shook his head a bit to get rid of the dizzy feeling that he felt for that moment. "Alright you bastard prepare to-" his sentence was cut short when he turned around and seen a certain someone standing in the bar. Someone who was supposed to be.. "This can't be..real..

Good so she wasn't the only one witnessing this for a change. Lebreau was glad for that. So this meant that either they were all either drunk an hallucinating, or this person before the was actually..

"You.." The person reached over the counter and grabbed the brunette by the center of her shirt. Those blue eyes. Those cold, unfriendly, icy blue eyes that seemed like they were staring into her soul. Lebreau shivered.

"Where's Serah?" The person asked.

No this was no hallucination. This person, this person was Lightning.

* * *

><p><strong>there is three versions of this chapter believe it or not! I've written this one chapter over several times but only kept a copy of the last three times. Ugh...I wasn't satisfied and still am not. :(<strong>

**but a response from you all may make me think differently so tell me what cha think loves. **


	15. Trepidation

**Chapter 15: Trepidation**

"I-I don't know!." Lebreau stuttered out and turned her head to the side. Those eyes were enough to make her whole body shudder. Lightning always did make her feel uneasy. Which is why the brunette couldn't stand to be around her.

"This can't be. This isn't real." Snow said mumbling outmost of his words. To much was occurring to quickly for his brain to keep up with the process. Even Gadot and the other two were looking just as shocked as he was. "Lightning..but.." He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence and just started a new one. "This some kind of joke?"

Lightning released Lebreau and shoved the brunette back. Her eyes narrowed before letting out a low scuff and turning to face the other three. The fact that they all looked shocked didn't at all bother her not did she bother to question on it.

"You were dead.." It was Snow who spoke out, causing the pinkette to cut her eyes in his direction. "At least you...made it seem that way."

"What of it.." The pinkette spoke out, clenching her hands into fists once again.

"You lied. To everyone. But most of all to Serah!." All of his friends looked in his general direction. It was extremely rare to see Snow in such an angry state. "What kind of person are you, who does something like that to someone!?"

"Tch I don't have time for this.." Lightning walked for the door but she was grabbed and yanked back. The worse possible act someone could ever do.

"I'm not done talking to you!." Snow stated in an enraged tone.

The soldier clenched her teeth and swiftly turned. In those short seconds her fist connected with the side of Snow's face. "We're done here." She said and left.

* * *

><p>"Ah this so so amazing!." Vanille shouted with excitement in her voice. When the bellhop had grabbed their bags to take to their room, Vanille had quickly scurried off I to the resort. To Serah she looked like a little kid in a candy store. The pinkette only chuckled. Vanille reminded her of the way she acted when she first came here.<p>

"Serah!."

The pinkette looked up at the gleaming red head. She found it cute how much her excitement reminded her of a child. "Hmm?"

"I'm going to go look around okay? I'll meet you back at our room!"

Serah nodded. "Okay."

The red head pulled Serah into a hug before running off.

Serah smiled softly before walked towards the set of doors to the side of her. She was glad to see the red head so happy. At least this would take her mind off of Fang for a while as well as other things that had her mind occupied. The doors slid open and Serah walked out. At that moment the sound of the beach tides clashig on and off shore filled her ears When she looked up at the sky she could see why. The moon was bright and full as well as unusually closer to the ocean than usual. But it was a beautiful sight.

The evening was nice and the breeze blowing through her pink locks was a little chill. Serah slowly started strolling along the shore of the beach as she looked around at the beautiful setting. It didn't take long for her to realize that there was probably only five or six people walking around at this time of the evening. But that's the way she liked it. She never really enjoyed being on a cluttered beach. The less people the better.

"Huh?" The pinkette came to a stop and slowly turned herself to see a long wooden structure that stretched out towards the ocean. "..." Serah smiled sadly as she bought a hand up over her chest where she felt a painful throbbing. This specific spot it was-

_Claire can I please take this bandana from around my eyes now? I'm tired of being in the dark already!." The younger pinkette complained as her sister gently pushed her to Eden knows where. "I've been like this for three hours now. I'm starting to feel like a hostage of sorts."_

_Lightning clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and rolled her eyes. "A little bit longer Serah. We're just about there."_

_"Can I have a hint!" The younger Farron said in excitement and clapped her hands together._

_"No." Lightning said._

_"Oh come on Claire. Please!?"_

_"We're here already." She said as they came to a stop. "So no hints are needed." She pulled the bandana that was blocking the girl's vision._

_"Eh.."_ The girl slanted her lips to the side and placed her hands on her hips. "The pier? Really Claire? _You blind folded me to take me-" When she turned around her eyes grew extremely large and her mouth fell ajar._

_"Ah! Are we-?" Finally being able to see where they were located. Serah stepped of the pier and pranced down the shore of the beach into the shallow portion of the water. "Ah!" She exclaimed once again before turning around. She then squealed with excitement once again. "Eeek! we are!" She said as she pointed to the large hotel looking building that stretched across the length of the beach. "The beach resort in Eden!"_

_The girl ran from the water and dashed in the direction of her sister who wasn't smiling much but that small grin she wore was enough. "I-Love-You-!" Serah exclaimed happily and tackled the older girl on to the beach sands. "How did you know!?"_

_"I kind of over heard you talking about it with Gadot and Lebreau. And here we are now." she stated, trying to sit up but Serah was actually heavier then she looked so she gave up and layed back on the sand._

_The girl's eyes glistened and she nuzzled her face into the woman's chest. "You're the best Claire I love you so much!." The girl repeated again._

_"Yea I know. How many times are you going to tell me this..?"_

_Serah giggled and gently ran her fingers through the other's soft pink locks. "Until you say it too!."_

_"Tck, I told you earlier today, I'm not going to repeat it every ten seconds."_

_Serah frowned. "But I do.."_

_"Yes, I noticed. And I'm not quite understanding why."_

_"Because, no matter how many times I say it, I don't think it's enough. I can say it a thousand times, three thousand times and still, it doesn't express how deeply I feel for you. Words alone can't.."_

_"Serah." Said girl rose her head and smiled softly as the older gently cupped her cheek. Both inched closer and closer to each others face. And then-_

She opened her eyes and just stared up at the dark night blue sky littered with twinkling stars. She sighed and lowered her hand from over her heart that was twisting up in pain at this moment. Maybe coming her was a huge mistake. Maybe staying home like Vanille suggested was in fact a better idea. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.

Memories like this would decide to pop up at times like this. If she could go back and change things it would be different.

_Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!_

"Hmm?" She blinked a few times before reaching into her pocket. Her phone was buzzing. Looking at the caller ID, she almost clicked ignore. "What Snow? I thought I said no calls about work. I'm not coming back for any-"

"No Serah listen to me it's important!"

"Yea, yea sure it's slow and you want me and Vanille to come back."

"Well that would be nice but no it's not that at all! Lebreau the guys and I were-"

"Oh well then I guess I'll talk to you later then bye Snow."

"Serah it's Lightning!."

Just when she was about click the end key she stopped. That odd feeling she always got in her stomach was present again. What now? Something was always about Lightning. She bought the phone back to her ear and grunted. "Oh? Lemme guess, you're gonna tell me she's alive too. Just like Hope and Lebreau has told me."

He was taken aback. Shocked that she even knew what he was going to say. "Yes wow! Yes she is she was here just a few moments ago looking for you!."

Serah's grip on her phone tightened. "Snow." She said as calmly as possible. "Just how much have all of you been drinking?" She asked her voice sounded more and more irritated with every word she spoke.

Snow scratched the back of his head but Serah couldn't see it. "I didn't drink anything Serah-huh wait are you insinuating that I'm drunk!?"

"That or you're seeing things!. You think this is funny!?"

"What!? Serah no. I'm being serious. We all seen her."

"Screw you!." The pinkette said and ended the call. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. First Hope, then Lebreau, now Snow. "What's going on here?" She mumbled to herself.

'_They're playing with your head Serah..'_

"Yea.." She nodded her head trying make herself believe that it was true. But why Snow? What did she do to him to make him want to join in on the brunette and stupid sliver haired Lieutenant's game to cause her misery? "Ah!"

Maybe he didn't take her rejection to his marriage proposal as smoothly as she thought. He's probably upset about that. "Uh-huh!." She nodded her head again but frowned. Somehow deep down she knew that wasn't it at all. Snow would never hold grudges against her. He 'cared' way too much for her. But she wanted to believe that he had some sort of hatred toward her about anything. Anything that would make him want to tell her such nonsense.

"Serah!."

Ah that voice. That sweet sweet voice that just melts all her worries away. "Vanille.."

Said girl bounced down the the beach and threw her arms around her lovers side from behind. The pinkette relished in this hug. She relaxed her body and let out a relieved sigh. It was like Vanille was the healer of all her bad emotions because just like that, she felt a lot better. "I thought you were..going to meet me back at the room?" She asked in a whisper.

Vanille giggled playfully. "I was but, I was so excited that I forgot that I didn't know the room number nor did I have the key!."

Serah turned in the girl's embrace and quickly held her. She squeezed her eyes shut as she pressed her face into the girl's chest.

"Uhm..Serah-"

"Ah, that's right." The pinkette pulled from the girl's embrace. She smiled and placed her phone in the girl's hand. "Here take this, we're in room S-100 on the fourth floor. I'll meet you up there when I get the key."

"Uhm, okay The girl said and slowly walked back towards the hotel space. "What was that all about?"

* * *

><p>"She didn't believe me.." Snow said and shoved his phone back into his pocket.<p>

"Duh!." Lebreau stated as she stood up from behind the counter. "She didn't believe me or Hope either. What makes you think that she was going to take your word for it?"

"But why? I have no reason to lie to her about such a thing." He rubbed the side of his face where Lightning had punched him earlier. He hadn't felt this type of pain in a long time. This was definitely Lightning for sure. "This is nothing to joke about."

"She probably thinks you're just trying to ruin her life and make her more miserable than she already is." Lebreau explained as she rolled her eyes. "That's how she feels about me and Hope at least."

"Yea well I'm not surprised at all that she feels that way about you two." Snow shot back, earning a glare from the brunette.

"Well it's true!." The blond said in his defense.

"So what now?" Yuuj asked.

"I don't know man. Nothing for now I guess. Seems telling Serah only angered her. She doesn't believe us so she'll just have to find out on her own now." Snow said and sat down in a chair next to the table that had broken after Lightning had tossed him into it. "Nothing we can do. At least we told her. Let's just go back to enjoying our night like we were."

The night carried on pretty well. After her and Vanille settled into their room, her and redhead took off too different areas in the resort. The pinkette didn't mind it at all since they did come here to have fun after all.

"Ohh Serah look!" The red-head said and pointed to a giant sign that was lit up over a room that read Casino.

Serah smiled And shook her head. "I don't think you wanna go in there Vanille. Those people are good. I mean real good." She stated with a small laugh as she recalled a certain event.

"What I've gambled before what are you trying to say Serah?"

"What I'm trying to say is, if you want to keep your money don't go in there. When I say those people are good. I mean they are good at cheating." She chuckled softly. "I came here before with someone and seen it. Me on the other hand, I can easily read people so that little cheating method they had going on never worked on me."

"Oooh!." She grabbed the girl's arm and rushed into the Casino before she had the chance to say anything else. "Then let's be partners we can help one another out!."

"The Casino is boring Vanille do you really wanna do this?"

She nodded right away. "Yup! It's on my Bucket List!." She giggled.

"You have a Bucket List?" The pinkette asked and raised her eyebrow. She tilted her head a little bit too.

"Hey, don't say it like that!." They stopped in front of a table where a group of people were playing a game that had black and white circular chips on the table. "Everyone has one!."

"Yea well not me." Serah stated blandly.

"What's this game I wanna play!." Vanille said to the pinkette who looked over the shoulders of the people who were playing. "Ugh that's Backgammon it's extremely boring. All you're doing is rolling the dice and moving your pieces across the bored. It's almost like chess in a way. First person to get rid of all their pieces wins. Snow and the rest of his friends used to play this game. It's tedious."

"Aww it can't be that bad Serah. But if you say so." The red head grabbed the girl's arm and dragged her towards the next crowd of people, but Serah stopped and pulled the girl to a table across from the one they recently left. "This one," she said, pulling the red head along. These people were short two players. Sure she wanted to play, But that's not what drew Serah's attention. It was the man standing at the table that did. Serah reached out for the deck of cards at the table's center and picked them up. "I see you still come here." She said to the man across from where she stood.

The man had a puffy black Afro and brown skin. He wore a green jacket with brown khaki pants and black boots. He looked to be in his early forties. He did not respond since he didn't know who the girl was talking to. No did he bother to pick up his head. He was busy counting up his winnings from last game.

"Sazh!." Serah said finally calling out his name.

"Huh? Oh, hey, oh hey." He said finally looking up to see who was talking to him. "Serah how have ya been?" He walked around the other side of the table and gave the girl a friendly hug. "It's been a while."

"I've been alright." She turned to Vanille and introduced the two. "Sazh, my girlfriend Vanille, Vanille, Sazh."

"Nice to meet you." He said.

Vanille nodded. "Likewise."

"So what brings you here?" He asked.

"Vanille and I are on vacation. We needed some time away from home. So what better place then to come here."

"Is that right. Dahj and myself came here for a getaway as well. Were staying for about seven days until we return home to the Mrs."

Serah's jaw fell for a few seconds before smiling with joy.'"You're married!?" She crooned. "Awwww! Congrats!"

"Yea six months now. It's a great feeling you know. After all the mourning I did about my past wife. It feels good to be happy again you know." He looked at the wedding band on his right finger before letting his hand fall back to his side. "It's a beautiful thing. But what about you huh, how have you been since the funeral?"

"I've been, I've been good." She lied. Her smile faded for a few seconds then appeared once again. "I've accepted it..I think." She looked over at Vanille who gently squeezed the pinkette's arm, letting her know that everything was alright.

"I know how you feel Serah. And if you ever need to talk or anything I'm just a call away ya know. I don't mind listening." He said and pulled the girl into another friendly hug.

"Thanks Sazh."

"Wait up Chocolina!" A small chocobo chick swiftly flew pass Vanille and landed into Sazh's Afro. The chick kwehed and peeked its head out.

"Awww!" Vanille gushed. "It's so cute!."

"A boy that looked no more than ten fell to his knees in front of Sazh huffing and puffing to catch his breath. He had the same skin tone and Afro as Sazh did. "We're...back..dad!" He said through his breaths. "Chocolina..flew off..!"

"Guess she wanted to do some exploring other own." Sazh laughed and the Choco chick kwehed again. "Well Serah it's nice to see you. I'm sure you two ant to get back to your vacation. So we'll see you later.

"Wait!." Serah called out and placed the cards back on the table. "How about we play a game of this before you go. It's been some time since I played but, I'm still good."

"Chronobind?" Vanille said looking up at the sign above the table. She never heard of this game before was it new?

"I'd love to Serah but I already kicked these guys butts. Maybe another time " he offered.

She shrugged. "Sure thing!."

**-xxxxxx-**

It had to be around three AM by now but Vanille and Serah were still up and awake. well Vanille was. She was just way too excited to want to shut her eyes and rest. Serah sat under one of the many palm trees on the beach with her arms tucked behind her head. Vanille was resting her head on the pinkette's lap staring up at the sky.

"Say Serah," Vanille called out. She reached out towards the sky and started counting all of the bright ones. "Have you ever thought about marriage?"

Serah's eyes widen for a second before returning to their normal size. She blinked twice before giving an answer. "No, not really. I've had someone ask me to marry them but I turned them down." Marriage was probably the last thing on her mind. There was no one in her life that she loved that much that she would wanna spend her entire life with.

"Oh, would you wanna get married though?" The red head asked. She finished her counting which came to a total of twenty six, then looked at the pinkette with a warm smile.

"Maybe. I just don't think it'll be anytime soon. I have to be head over heels in love with someone to do that. And the other has to feel the exact same. Why, do you wanna get married Vanille?" Serah's eyebrow raised for the second time that night.

The red head blushed and turned her head to look at the clashing waves of water. "Uhm, yea..I-I do-but..not now." She covered her face and started laughing lightly. She didn't know why she felt so embarrassed to answer that question it wasn't like the pinkette was asking her to marry her. The red head squealed and her blush got darker, puzzling Serah. "I'm waiting too!." She exclaimed then sat up and threw her arms around her lover's neck.

Serah's head knocked against the tree upon Vanille's surprise hug. As random as it was she didn't mind it in the least. "Ouch.." She said and rubbed the back of her head. "What was that for?"

"Oh nothing!." She said cheerfully and stood up from the ground. Serah was still bewildered by Vanille's burst of happiness. Of course she would be used to this since it was very Vanille. The redhead continued smiling and skipped down towards the water. "Come on Serah!"

"!?" The pink haired girl scratched the back of her head. She really didn't feel like getting up. She was tired, but she'd do it because of Vanille. Serah stood up and walked down to the water with Vanille. The minute it hit her feet she could feel the small hairs on her skin stand up. This water was really cold. Vanille took off her shorts and shirt and kicked it off to the side. All she left on was her undergarments that consisted of a white panties and a white bra.

Serah blushed and watched as the girl pranced off into the cold waters with no problem. Those ugly marks were still present on her body which made Serah flinch. She had hopped that they would have someone vanished by now, but they were still there and didn't like they were going away anytime soon. "Come on Serah! The water feels nice!."

'_Yea nice and cold!'_

Serah groaned. It was bad enough the wind was kind of chill now she was about to get in some cold water as well. "Great.." She pulled off her shorts and shirt and placed them where Vanille's were. Unlike the red head Serah actually wore a bikini under her clothes. A light blue one.

She walked back towards the water and stepped in.

"Come on!." Vanille shouted out. A small wave of water washed over her and the red head went under for a few seconds before coming back up laughing. "See it's fun! Come on!"

"Nuh-uh!." Serah shook her head from side to side. The water was cold and she hated cold water especially when it meant her whole body being dunked in it. "No way Vanille.."

"Oh fine..then." The girl frowned and disappeared into the water.

"How in the world does she do that.." Serah walked deeper into the water until it came up to her mid-mid waist and stopped. Her whole body shuddered for a moment and she bought her hands up and hugged herself. "Vanille?"

She looked around the clashing waters but the girl was nowhere to be found. She was possibly still under the water. The pinkette's mind started to wander once again but this time she was thinking about Vanille. The girl never really touched much on her and Fang's relationship and she was a little curious about it.

She was never really one to ponder over any of her lover's past but what drew her curiosity was the day she first met Fang. She remembered when the woman went to throw her arm around Vanille's neck the girl flinched.

Serah at first thought it was because it surprised the girl but she was shaking afterwards. Really trembling. Like she expected something else to happen.

"Serah!"

"!?" A pair of cold hands wrapped around the pinkette's shoulders from behind and before she knew it she was being pulled down under the water. "Vani-!"

_Splash!_

Serah quickly jumped up from out of the water with her eyes extremely wide and her body as stiff as a board. "VA-VANILLE!" Serah called through chattering teeth.

"Hehe I love you!." The red head said then blew her lover a kiss before disappearing back under the water.

'_That girl!'_

"That's it.." She was already wet so the water no longer bothered her. "I'm gonna get you Vanille." When she dove under the water, Vanille came back up. She shook out her orange locks and looked around. "Seeerah!" She said in a melodic tune. But there was no response. "Hmm." She pulled the the scrungees that that held her pigtails in place from her hair and put them on her wrists. Again she shook her hair out and the locks of orange fell over her shoulders. And stuck to her skin.

Just when she was about to dive back under the water, she caught something at the corner of her eye. Quickly she turned around and looked. Walking along the beach was a figure. Black hoodie and their hands were stuffed into the pockets. Vanille cringed and panicked she knew exactly who that was. But what was she doing here? Suddenly, Serah jumped up out of the water in front of the red head and tackled her. "Ahh!"

_Splash!_

Both girls went back under the water. The current pushed them back and forth in water and the small waves pushed them under every now and then. Finally coming up close to shore, Serah giggled playfully but Vanille was silent. "Got you!" Serah said in victory. A large wave swooshed onto shore and splashed over both girls. Wetting them even further.

"Huh!?" Vanille looked around several times and the person that she had seen earlier was still there. But she was now under a palm tree. Only this time they had removed their hood. Vanille's eyes bulged.

"Aww you sad!" Serah joked and poked her lovers nose.

The person she seen was now walking towards them. Serah was still talking to her but the pinkette couldn't see what the red head seen because they were coming from behind Serah.

"Hey Vanille," Serah said growing concerned by the look of terror on the girl's face. "Huh? Hey what's-" Serah went to turn her head, suspecting that whatever it was that had Vanille so terrified was behind her but her action was interrupted when the red head quickly grabbed her face and kissed her. Really kissed her.

Serah squealed but didn't object to the sudden action. She slowly closed her eyes and laced her arms around Vanille's sides. The red head did the exact same thing but around the girl's neck. Despite the taste of the salt water that lingered on both of their lips, Vanille enjoyed this.

The person that was walking towards them both suddenly came to a stop. The person growled to themselves and clenched their hand into a tight fist.

Serah pushed her tongue pass Vanille's lips and flicked it against Vanille's. At this the girl's arms tightened around the pinkette's neck and she repeated the action. Vanille's eyes opened half way I see the person behind her lover walking away.

'_That was close.._' She thought to herself. Almost too close. What could se have been doing here.

She felt Serah shudder in her embrace and she quickly pulled away, breaking their lips away from each other and ceasing their kiss.

The pinkette placed her hand on her bottom lip and looked at Vanille through half opened eyes. Her lips tingled and twitched several times. She didn't know why but every time she kissed the redhead it always felt like it was the first time. When really it's been several times that they have kissed.

Vanille was too busy looking around to catch Serah's expression. She was making sure that person wasn't coming back. When her worry faded and her stomach was no longer jumping around, she turned back to her lover. "Eh?" The red head blinked several times you okay?"

She nodded ten shook her head. "Hmm..yea I'm fine. My head just got kinda...cloudy for a moment. What was that about?"

"What I can't kiss you?" She frowned and poked out her bottom lip.

'She so cute.' Serah thought. She chuckled. "Yes you can it's just that it caught me off guard that's all." She ran her finger across her bottom lip again then glanced at Vanille once more. She wanted to just tackle her and start kissing her again but decided against it.

"Say Vanille," Serah called out to the redhead. "What was you and Fang's relationship like?"

The redhead stiffened at the question. She didn't see that one coming at all. The memories of her and Fang's relationship was never anything she wanted to talk about because they were never good ones. None of them. "Wh-why do you ask?" She wondered. Her eyes glistened with sadness. And she quickly looked down at the water.

"Well I.." Serah paused. As curious as she was, she could see that the mentioning of Fang's name was enough to wipe away Vanille's sunny disposition. And she hated that. "Never mind, I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry."

"It was terrible." She whispered. "There was never a moment where I wasn't trying to get away from her. Even before you. I just had to get away from her. We always argued and the arguments alway lead to her hitting me. I can't even count the number of times that is been knocked out and woke up with little to no memory of what happened. Or how many times I nearly died. It wasn't always her hands that did the hitting. That's why when you and I had met for the first time, I asked you about a shelter. That was the first night that I'd been away from Fang in so long and it felt so good." She wiped her eyes quickly with her hand before the tears could spill over. But I'm glad now that it's over and I finally released myself from her. Being with her I felt like I was in a prison. She always told me that she did what she did to me because she loved me. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She just allowed her tears to fall freely this time not caring if the pinkette did see it. "I sometimes used to think if that was what love was, striking someone constantly to show your feelings, then I'd rather die than be in love."

The red head grit her teeth and started grinding them together. Her body started shaking as well. She'd never shared this with anyone else because she never had anyone else to share it with. And now that she had the chance to air out all of her emotions it was very overwhelming. "But I know now that isn't true, because I found you Serah. We may have had a very rough start but it worked out for the best.."

The pinkette's eyes started watering up. For someone to feel that way had to be a terrible experience. While her and Vanille met by chance, she was glad that she did. If she didn't who know where the red head would be right now. She would have never guessed it since the girl is smiling all the time and always in a joyful mood. "Well you'll never go through something like that again Vanille, ever. I promise." Serah opened her arms up and Vanille fell into her embrace, crying silently as the pinkette rubbed her back. "I'll never let anything like that happen to you again. If Fang ever comes back around she'll be answering to Snow and Gadot. Alright?"

She smiled a little bit at the thought. "Thanks Serah.."

_-**xxxxx**-_

Serah groaned and turned in the bed that her and Vanille shared. Her expressions showed distress and apprehension while mumbling incoherent words in her sleep.

_"No..this isn't real.." Serah took several steps back. Her eyes were wide with shock and she had forgotten how to breath. Her mouth hung open wide. "Lightning.." She looked at all of her friends that were standing in a circle around her either snickering or laughing. Then Hope stepped forward and said; I told you so. Then all of her friends started saying it._

_"I told you so."  
>"I told you so."<br>"I told you so."  
>"WE TOLD YOU SO!"<em>

_"Leave me alone!." Serah fell to her knees in her home and covered her head with her arms._

_"Serah.." Her voice.._

_"You still in denial now?" Lebreau said. "I told you I wasn't lying!"_

_"Make it stop.."_

_"Serah.."_

_That soft sweet voice that always made her feel at ease. She rose her head slowly to see Vanille kneeling down beside her. "Please Vanille.."_

_"Serah.."_

_"Make them stop.."_

"Serah!" Vanille gently shook the girl to try and wake her but she wouldn't open her eyes all she kept doing is calling out her name.

"Vanille, Vanille please!."

The red head knew she was going to feel bad about this but she had to do it. She reached over and grabbed a bottle of water from the night stand beside her and poured it over the pinkette's face.

Serah quickly jolted up an looked aro_und. Spotting Vanille she threw herself at the girl and hugged her. The pinkette could hear her own heart beat in her ears and it was hurting. Everything was hurting really. Her head, her stomach but mostly her chest. It felt like she was about to have a heart attack. "Vanille.." She cried. Her body was shaking violently like she was scared._

_"It's alright." Vanille consoled her. "Whatever it was it's alright now."_

_No it wasn't. It was still there and it was always going to be there unless she drove it out of her mind with something else. "I need you Vanille." She pushed the girl down on the soft mattress and crawled on top of her. "I need you so badly right now.."_

_'Uh-oh..' Vanille knew exactly where this was leading. Remembering the last time what happened when her and Serah engaged in sexual activity when the pinkette's mind was pre-occupied. "Serah no, we need to talk. What were you dreaming about!?"_

_"I don't care I don't want to talk about it!." She squeezed her eyes closed again as tears started dripping from them. "It doesn't matter I just want it to go away!."_

_"Serah."_

_"Hn..?" The girl opened her eyes but it wasn't Vanille she was sitting on. But Lightning. "!"_

"Serah wake up!."

_The girl crawled backwards until she fell off the bed. "I'm sorry Lightning! I'm sorry! Just leave me alone!."_

"SERAH!."

The pinkette felt a pain to the side of her face and quickly sat up in the bed. "Wh-what !? Wh-what!?" Her eyes were wide and she was breathing heavily.

"Serah!" She heard the red head call out to her. "Vanille! Yo-you're Vanille right?"

"Yea last I checked I was. Serah you scared me!" She pushed the girl's bangs from over her angst filled eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I-I yea. I-I'm fine..I just had a bad dream. But I'm fine since you're here."

Vanille wasn't at all convinced by the girl's words. Something was wrong that Serah wasn't telling her. It took too long for her to wake up. Maybe they needed to go home. "You wanna leave?"

"What no Vanille, I'm fine.." She lied yet again.

"No you're not Serah. You haven't been fine since we arrived. Look we can always come back another time. I don't like seeing you like this. I'm worried about you.."

"What's going home going to do? It won't change anything Vanille." She wasn't at all agains going home but she would have felt terrible because she'd be ruining her and Vanille's time together an she didn't want to do that. Then she was worried that going home she might be greeted by that terrifying image from her dream.

"You're right but you're in no condition to be on any vacation right now. You need to clear your head. I don't care about leaving early Serah if that's what's on your mind."

"Fine, Vanille we can go.." She said seeing as to how this argument wasn't going anywhere. "First thing tomorrow morning we leave."

* * *

><p>Vanille wore a frown as her and Serah made their way back towards the house. It was odd that the pinkette in such a hurry to get back home when she didn't want to leave in the first place. They had only spent a night in Eden and Vanille was really enjoying herself there. But she was concerned more about Serah then anything. Ever since they had waken up this morning Serah had not said a single word to her. Vanille wanted to know what it was she dreamed about last night and what was on her mind.<p>

Arriving at the house, they suddenly came to an abrupt stop. Vanille not expecting it, clashed into the pinkette and fell back onto the ground. "Ouch. Serah what's wrong?"

The pinkette didn't answer. Her hand hovered over the code pad and it was extremely shaky. Vanille didn't see it but Serah's eyes were also teary. The pinkette wasn't sure if she even wanted to open the door. What if..just what if..

Her fingers pressed against the numbers that would unlock the house. The jingle sounded the code was entered correctly, Serah quickly turned her eyes to the ground. Her heart thumped quickly in her chest and her stomach twisted up in a thousand knots.

The door quickly slid open and Serah's head tore from the ground to look inside. It was extremely quiet and her heart was pounding so quick that she thought that it was able to be heard. Searching her home with her eyes before walking in, a relieved sigh passed over her lips.

'_So it was a dream. Of course it was why the_ _hell was I expecting-'_

"Hey.." The touch of Vanille's hand against her arm made her jump slightly. She'd forgotten she was even behind her. "What's wrong with you?" The girl asked. She hugged Serah and gently kissed her cheek.

The pinkette shook her head. "Nothing.." She lied. She knew Vanille was aware of her lie by the way she pulled away from her. Serah ignored it though, and started walking into the house. "I'm just..tired alright." She walked over to the sofa and laid down. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

Vanille's lips slanted and she walked over to the sofa and say down next to her lover. "That's right." She sail lowly and laid her hand on the girl's shoulder. Was there something on your mind?" The red head had already knew the answer before she asked that questions. Serah's mind had been everywhere but focused on them since the day they left. Now their two week vacation was cut to one night. "Serah..speak to me please.."

The girl turned to where her face was towards the sofa and her back was to Vanille. It killed her to keep things away from Vanille but after that conversation they had on the beach the other day, there was no way that she could come out and say; Oh the reason we came home early is because I had a dream that my sister was here at my house.

That would sound extremely ridiculous and more than likely hurt the red head's feelings. Something Serah was very much trying to avoid.

'Serah there is something wrong with you..'

"Okay.." Vanille said sadly and stood from the couch. The sadness in her voice was enough to make Serah's heart twist but she still refused to speak. "Did I do something wrong?" The red head said and started taking small steps back away from Serah. She couldn't think of anything that could or would cause Serah to become so distant to her, or want to shut her out and not share her feelings with her. "Are you mad about leaving early?" Still no answer and it was really beginning to hurt Vanille's feelings. The girl bit down hard on her own lip as her breath suddenly became stuck in her throat. She could feel herself becoming overly frustrated with this situation and her emotions weren't helping either, just making the situation worse. Tears welled in those bright green eyes before spilling over and running down her cheeks. The last and final thing she could think of that would cause Serah to act like this towards her was- "Y-you know don't you..?"

'Do I know what..?'

"Hm-uh?" This drew her attention and Serah quickly turned around. Her eyebrows narrowed as well as her eyes. "Do I know..what Vanille?" She stood up from the sofa and walked in the red heads direction. Vanille tried to step back but Serah grabbed onto her arm. The red head looked down at the floor as her mind tried to come up with a way to avoid Serah's question. Her reaction was far more surprised than she expected, leading Vanille to believe it wasn't that. "Vanille!"

"Me, Serah."

The pinkette froze. No literally. It felt like her entire body had froze over, petrified. The room felt like there was no one in there. She could hear herself breathing, wait she wasn't breathing at all. She felt dizzy, disoriented like she'd been drugged with some heavy drugs.

'Th-that voice..'

No she had to be dreaming this whole experience had to be a dream. A nightmare. This wasn't real there was no way this was real. She had the urge to pinch herself, slap herself, hell punch herself. Anything that would wake her up from this torment, this horror, this hallucination.

But..

For some reason she felt like none of that would help. Because somewhere, deep down she knew that this was real. She knew this was going to happen. She knew the truth all along but denied it from the first time she heard it, because she didn't want to believe such nonsense. Believe that someone was capable of such cruelty, such betrayal, and do something so low. "How could..how could.."

Serah turned around slowly, hesitantly, and unwillingly. She hoped that her ears were only playing tricks on her like they had done in the past. "Please..no..please.." She said in such a weak voice. Finally turning to the source of the voice, Serah closed her eyes before she could come face to face with the person, that's if anyone was there to begin with. She didn't want to see she didn't. She still wanted to believe that nothing was there and she was hearing things. "Vanille.."

"Open your eyes Serah.." It was the voice again. But the pinkette refused.

"Vanille..please..please tell me that me and you are the only ones here a-and that I'm.." She sniffled and wiped away tears running from her closed eyes. "I'm loosing it.."

Vanille frowned. How she wished that she could say something like that. Just to relieve the pinkette's anxiety but. This was no hallucination. This was all very real. "Serah.."

"I am right.." The pinkette called out.

"Serah.." The red he's walked behind the girl and tree her arms around her. She held the girl tightly. "N-no.." The red head whispered to her. "It's real Serah.."

The red head looked up at the person, glaring with anger written all over her face. She couldn't believe the person even came knowing what would happen. Vanille parted her lips and mouthed the words; you should have stayed away!."

"N-no.." Serah stammered when she finally opened her eyes. She stepped back, ignoring the fact that she was pushing Vanille along with her. "You're..you...but..how..I..no!." She shook her head and fell to her knees. "How could this.." She looked up at the person once more, standing there at the door of her bedroom was, Lightning.

* * *

><p><strong>The end! Nah kidding I would never end off a story on such a crazy cliff hanger. :D Anyhow I wold like to thank all those that reviewed and followed my story. It really means a lot to me. And to those who are just reading I'm grateful as well. Until next chapter loves, stay tuned! :o<strong>


	16. Don't Promise!

**Chapter 16: Don't Promise!**

This can't.." Serah's lip quivered as she tried to find the words to speak."N-no. I can't believe-" she lowered her head and slowly started shaking it from side to side. This wasn't real there was no way. How could this be? Lightning, she was here. She was standing right here. "You're...you're dead.." Her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides as her whole body began to quake violently. "At least I thought you were..for these past two years.." She sniffled and gasped as her heart skipped a beat. She hadn't realized it since she was feeling so damn numb at the moment, but her heart was racing. Every beat was like a tight nagging pain in her chest like someone was squeezing and pulling at the fragile organ. The young pinkette gasped again and placed a hand over that sore area. It felt like her heart was about to explode. Tears fell from her eyes and splashed against the floor. It was so quiet at the time that the small splash was heard.

Lightning didn't know much of what to say. She knew that it was going to be this way. She tried to come up with a good explanation on the way here, for her actions but there wasn't one. Stating that she was mad wasn't good enough and would have sounded stupid. For once in her life the ex-soldier was at lost for words. There was no improvising with this one, "Serah, listen to me-"

"Wh-why!?" Serah flinched at the sound of her sister's soft but edgy voice. It had been so long since she had heard it that she couldn't believe it. The sound of her voice just gave her body chills. "What you wanna tell more lies Lightning!? How could y-you." She said taking small hesitant steps towards the older Farron. "Did I hurt you that badly that you had to fake your own death. Did you want to make me feel that damn bad about myself Claire." She stopped just inches away from her ex-lover's face, looking directly into those icy emotionless eyes. Even if she was feeling some sort of regret for what she's done, Serah could never tell since Lightning rarely showed her emotions to anyone. "Well.." The younger girl lowered her head and blinked away more tears. "It worked. Cause I felt terrible after you _died _I knew it was my fault that you were gone and nothing in the world would bring you back. Yet.."

Serah raised her head and her expression was now a mix of sadness and anger. Only Lightning was able to see it. But her expression still went unchanged. "Here you are...alive." She whispered. "Alive and well!." She shouted and slapped her hand hard across her sister's face. The action sounded and looked like it hurt but of course Lightning showed no sign of pain however she did flinch a little bit. "How could you do something so cruel! So low..." She shook her head and grit her teeth while squeezing her eyes shut. Her lips parted to speak like she wanted to say something but it wouldn't come out. She wanted to say it but a part of her felt some type of regret would come along with it. "I.." She tensed her hands at her side and quickly snapped her head in her older sister's direction. Serah's wrathful gaze settled on Lightning's still blank expression. "..you're.." She still struggled to get her words out. "You're dead to me..I-I hate you.."

Lightning wasn't at all surprised at Serah's reaction but those last three words hit kind of hard. She expected everything else but for Serah to come out and say I hate you, sent Lightning's mind spinning. Her thoughts were scattered all over the place. She parted her lips to say something but only air came.

_'I hate you..'__  
><em>_'I hate you..'_

The words resonated in her ears several times but she refused to believe her sister truly said that to her. "Serah.."

The front door slid open and a pair of footsteps walked inside. Serah and Lightning didn't bother to look but Vanille did. The red head's eyes narrowed at a familiar silver haired male that stood behind her and the sad pinkette. "What are you doing here?" Vanille asked rudely, ever since that night when her and the boy met on the beach and he confessed his part in Serah's misery to her, the red head has had a different view on Hope. And not a good one either.

"Lightning!." Hope said almost shocked. Looking down at Serah he knew what had happened and seeing Lightning there was enough to show that the truth was out. "Believe me now!?" He said smugly to the crying pinkette on the floor. "I told you!. You should have believed me!."

"Hope!."

Vanille scolded as she stood up from Serah's side and walked in the silver haired boy's direction. Hope's smug smirk faded quickly upon seeing the angered look on Vanille's face. He barely knew the red head but the few times he'd seen her she was always smiling. Except for that last time. So seeing her in a state of anger was even a little intimidating and scary for him. "How can you just come here and be so rude!. You have no right to pick at her after the part you took in this. So you keep quiet!."

The red head's words only made Hope chuckle a bit which only pissed of the girl further. The silver haired male ran his fingers through his soft locks and cleared his throat as if he were about to say something. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at the angry red head as he recalled something he had said to him not so long ago. "You know Vanille, you're just as bad as we are so you can't play the innocent role here either."

This pulled Serah's attention from Lightning and flashed to both Hope and Vanille. Noticing this, Hope went on. "That's right, Vanille here knew that Lightning was alive as well. She told me herself a few weeks ago.

"Va-Vanille.." Serah said looking over at her lover. Is this true.."

Vanille bit down on her lip hard as everything around her suddenly grew quiet. All eyes were on her. Yes it was true but she never kept it from Serah to hurt her. At the time she didn't even know that her and Serah had something going on. So why was she being put on the spot? She wanted to lie and say it wasn't true, knowing that Serah would believe her over Hope any day but then she'd feel guilty for lying about it. But then telling her the truth will shatter the pinkette and Vanille didn't want that. To hurt Serah, this fragile girl. "Serah..." What if she leaves her? That was one of her biggest fears loosing this girl. "I...yes.."

Serah gasped and Vanille heard it, and it almost made her heart want to stop. "But I swear Serah I didn't keep it from you to hurt you. I-"

"Wow even you Vanille.." Serah looked around at all three of them. But mainly Lightning. She still couldn't help but think this was a dream. She just wished that she could just close her eyes and open them again and this would all be over. Or someone would just pop out and say_ "haha gotcha!_" But clearly that was not going to happen. This was all too much in one day. Way too much for one person to take. She just felt like dying right now so she didn't have to deal with this any longer. "I need some air.." The younger pinkette quickly ran pass all of them and out the front door, Vanille had gently grabbed her arm but Serah shrugged her off.

_'No..'_ Vanille ran behind her but the door shut before she could run out. She could give a damn about the other two's relationship with Serah she was just worried about her own. Was Serah mad at her? She dropped to her knees, her eyes wide and started watering up. "You happy Hope? The both of you!." She whirled around and glowered at the both of them. "All you two do is cause problems and hurt people. Now look what you've done to Serah. Mainly you!." She shouted out pointing out at Lightning. "Had you just stayed away then all of this could have been avoided! Now Serah may never.." She dropped her head in her knees and cried soundlessly.

* * *

><p>Maqui stood against the wall shaking in fear across from Yuuj who was pointing revolver at him. "H-hey man I-I don't wanna play anymore you win the bet let's just leave it at that!."<p>

"What no way you can't wuss out now!." Yuuj said and gently pressed his finger against the trigger. "Man up yo! The probability of the bullet being in this chamber is low. Stop being so scary!. If something comes out I owe you 70,000 Gil."

"I might not be here to get that 70,000 Gil. N-no l don't wanna take any chances."

"Too late!." Yuuj pulled the trigger and a loud bang sounded through the bar. Maqui squealed like a hurt dog and covered his head.

The gun emitted smoke but no bullet came out. Only a flash of light. "Haha! Got you! It was a blank. Do you really think that I would shoot you Maqui?"

"Th-that's not funny you jerk!." The boy shouted. He was trembling.

Lebreau emerged from the back upon hearing the loud noise wondering what it was. "The hell are you two doing out here!?"

"Playing Russian Roulette!" Yuuj said simply, holding up the gun. "Not for real of course."

The dark haired girl growled. She couldn't believe that these two were out here horsing around and there was so much they had to do. "Well there is work to be done. We have to restock this place, and there is also new packages in the back. Now if you both don't want me to bust a real bullet in your ass I suggest you help me!."

With that being said the two scurried off into the employee room. Lebreau sighed and grabbed a rag from the sink and started whipping the counter with it. She'd been running around like a chocobo with its head chopped off all morning. She was preparing for some event that snow had planned out for tonight. She was ecstatic about it but the least Snow could of done was lend a hand to help. But he's nowhere around.

The bell above the door chimed and someone walked in. Without picking up her head, Lebreau started to speak."Sorry we're closed all day today, however we will be-"

"Gimme six Tequila shots.." Serah said morosely and slapped 7,000 Gil on the bar top. She sat in one of the bar stools and dropped her head on the counter.

"Huh, Serah what are you doing here? I thought you and..Vanille were away." She said almost growling out The red head's name. Lebreau blinked and looked down at the Gil. Without much thought, she pushed the money back to pinkette and shook her head. "Wooah six Tequila shots Serah, that's a bit much. Too much really. No. One maybe but not six."

The pinkette growled lowly and picked her head up from the table. It was then that Lebreau was able to see that something was obviously wrong with her. That was the only time Serah ever demanded a ridiculous amount of a strong alcoholic beverage. "Who are you to tell me what I can and can't have? I asked for six shots now give it to me!."

"No.." Lebreau sat down next to the sad girl and placed a hand on her shoulder. She knew that she was probably regret asking this in the end but, she was concerned for the pink haired girl. She always was. "Serah, if there is something you want to talk about I'm always open to listen to you." She gently rubbed her hand up me down her back, comforting her.

She couldn't. At least not with Lebreau. Every time her and the brunette talked or discussed feelings, it always lead to them being intimate. She never knew why or how it would happen it just happened. Her and Lebreau being in the same room was never good. "It's nothing just give me my shots and I'll leave.." She said and pulled away from her.

Lebreau frowned. It was funny how one moment she could be so mad at the pinkette even hate her at times and the next moment it was like nothing ever happened and she loved her again. She guessed it was safe to say that they had a love hate relationship with one another. At least that's how it felt to her. "Serah I'm not giving you any alcohol. Drinking doesn't solve problems."

"You were right Lebreau.." Serah whispered out. "You, Snow, Hope, all of you were right. Lightning is alive. I was just too stubborn to believe you guys..and I'm sorry for that.." She cried.

_'Took you long enough to find out..'_ She thought to herself. She really wished to say it out loud but Serah was upset enough. "How'd you find out?" She asked.

"When Vanille and I got home, she was in my house.."  
><em><br>__'Wow..'_

"Well I'm sorry you had to deal with it like this Serah.."

"Yea right!." The pinkette stood up from the stool and stepped away from the brunette. "You're just saying that, but like everyone else you're glad that it happened."

"What Serah no I'm not!."

"Sure.." She covered her eyes with her left arm and leaned against the door frame. "It's times like this I just feel like...dying."

"Se-Serah!." Lebreau said in a disapproving tone. She couldn't stand it when the pinkette talked like that. The last time she said such words was a week after Lightning allegedly died.

"It's true!." She retorted I can't deal with this type of thing anymore. Then again this is probably my karma for all the things that I've done to so many people. So maybe I deserve this."

"While the karma part may be true, you don't deserve it Serah. As much as I've wanted to see you hurt, just so you can feel the way you've made others feel, I don't want it anymore. I hate seeing you this way. I wish that you would have just believed me in the first place about Lightning." Lebreau said calmly to the broken up girl.

"And I'm supposed to just believe that..? Even Vanille knew and she didn't tell me."

The brunette shook her head lightly and slapped her forehead. She remembered tell Serah that as well. But she didn't listen. "I tried to-"

"I know I know, you told me and I didn't listen I get it. But I just didn't want to believe that Vanille would-" She trailed off let of a small sigh. Of all people Vanille kept something like this away from her. She was just like them. Lying to her. Yet, she couldn't fully bring herself to have disdain or hatred towards her. When it came to Vanille she never could.

"Hey.." Lebreau called in an extremely dry tone. She rolled her eyes and placed her hand against her face. "Can't believe I'm about to say this but, I don't think Vanille kept that secret away from you to hurt you Serah.." She stated much to the pinkette's surprise.

"Oh!? And what makes you think that huh? That's all people wanna do is hurt me. What makes Vanille any different?"

"Serah, if you take the time to stop and think about things for a minute or two. You probably could figure it out yourself. Not everyone is out to get hurt you, ya know. Think about it.." The brunette said and slid from the bar stool. "You're paranoid." She said and pat the girl on the shoulder before returning to work. "Go home Serah.."

* * *

><p>Hope and Lightning still remained in Serah's home though both her and Vanille had left. The red head had left 30 minutes after Serah's departure but they decided to stay. Lightning had her back still against the door frame of Serah's room while Hope stood only several feet away. "I told you this was a bad choice.." Lightning spoke out before Hope had a chance to say anything.<p>

The silver haired boy clasped his hand to the back of his neck and tilted his head to the side. He was surprised to find Lightning here in the first place. He had come to try and talk to Vanille about Lightning and walked in on this. "Yea well it had to be done. It was best that you told her rather than, her just stumbling upon you one day. Then what?"

He was right but now Serah fucking hated her. Why did she care anyway? If Serah never wanted to talk to her or see her again, then that was just one less person she would have to worry about. She huffed and walked towards the front door. "Whatever I don't care anymore." The ex-soldier lied. Deep down her sister's words hurt and it was tearing her apart. "She hates me. So screw this.."

"That's it?" Hope questioned the stoic woman. "I thought you wanted to repair you and Serah's relationship. You came this far why stop and give up now?" He sighed. "Look, honestly I still don't think Serah even deserves an apology from you. If anything she should be the one doing the apologizing. But you're here Light. Don't leave until you've finished saying what you wanted to say. You walk out now, you might as well forget about it."

Lightning clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and rolled her eyes. "Hope I gave up after she spoke those last three words. It's over." The woman said with an edge in her voice that always made Hope flinch. The door slid open and Lightning walked out.

* * *

><p>"Seeerah!" Vanille called out searching around the areas that she thought Serah would be. This was the second time that she'd played the search game for Serah. Right now she was at the beach she was just thankful that it wasn't dark this time around. "She's not here it seems." The red head mumbled quietly. She stopped abruptly and looked around to see if she would spot the pink haired girl somewhere in the crowd of people, but there was no sign of anyone with pink hair. "Where are you..?"<p>

The red head exhaled through her nose and slanted her bottom lip. Serah probably didn't want to be found. Especially not by her. Not after keeping something from her. Perhaps being selfish was the wrong thing to do. But she was afraid, afraid of losing her. She still is. What if Serah went out to clear her mind and she realizes that she over reacted on Lightning, and decides to give the woman another chance? Vanille drew her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down on it hard. Where would that leave her? Alone.

But..

_'I'll never let anything happen to you again Vanille.'_  
><em><br>__'Vanille I would never leave you, not for anyone..'_

"She told me that she would never leave me.." She whispered quietly.

But then..

_'Vanille I'm sorry! It'll never happen again I promise!.'__'I didn't mean it Vanille I just lost my temper. I promise it won't ever do it again.'__'God Vanille, I'm sorry. I don't know what it is. I just..I promise I won't-'_

Promise after promise. And they all went broken. Here she was being foolish yet again. What made her think that Serah wouldn't do the exact same thing Fang did and break her promises. Lightning is back in the picture after all and she's the one Serah has truly wanted all this time. She was just a temporary replacement. Just Like Lebreau stated.

_'You're no better than anyone else that's been with her up until now. She'll care for you for a short period of time but then that's it. When she's tired of you, you'll be kicked to the curb like she's done me. Why? Well that's pretty clear because you're not Lightning. Hell if Lightning were to pop up right now, Serah would drop you without a second thought.'_

Would she really though? Vanille frowned as her emotions suddenly started going out of control she felt like she wanted to cry but then again she didn't. She didn't know what to really feel. She was unsure. Her bright green orbs glistened with obvious sadness as they rolled off to the corner. Everything she and Serah had gone through. Was it going to be tossed away just like that?

A hand wrapped around her wrist then suddenly her body was being pulled in another direction. "H-huh..?" She snapped from her thoughts and blinked before realizing a familiar pink haired girl walking in front of her. "Se-Serah!." She exclaimed. "Where are we going?" But the the girl didn't even turn around to look at her. This made Vanille feel a little awkward. She wasn't used to someone giving her the silent treatment. Especially someone she cared so much about. "Serah, I'm sorry." Vanille started. Her voice was shaky and her eyes were full of tears. "I know I shouldn't have kept that away from you but I was afraid. I was scared that..that..after you found out..you would leave me for Lightning.."

Serah suddenly stopped. The girl's words caught her attention but it angered her more than anything."Seriously Vanille? You have no faith in me at all if you think that I would just leave you like that!."

"Well I'm sorry. It's not my fault that you've built such a bad reputation for relationships.." The girl responded in a rather irritated tone.

Serah turned around to face the red head. Her eyes reflected anger for a short few seconds before eventually softening up. She gathered Vanille's hands in hers and sighed out softly."Vanille I love you.."

The red head turned her head to the side, her frown grew deeper. She could hear Serah but it was too hard to believe. "Words are cheap..I need more proof than that."

Serah frowned. Just like that day on the beach, Vanille was doubting her again. Now she was able to understand what all Vanille's questions were about that day on the beach. "Why can't you just trust what I say? Vanille there's no one else in this world that I want except for you."

"And Lightning.." The red head said sadly.

"Vanille stop it.." Serah felt the buildup of tears in her own eyes. The fact that she had to constantly stress this to her because the red head didn't believe the love she had for her was true, was extremely hurtful to her. "No I don't want Lightning I don't care about her!." She pulled the girl into her arms and hugged her. "My feelings for you aren't going anywhere, nor have they changed Vanille I promise."

Again Vanille could hear the pinkette but she was still sensing faulty in her words. Then there was that word again. _'Promise..'_ "Okay Serah." She said calmly and circled her arms around her lover's slender figure. She breathed out slowly and pulled the girl into a hug. "I hate that word," The hug she had the girl in grew into a tighter one. "Fang used it a lot and I-" She stopped. "Just don't promise me anything alright.."

"But Vanille I-"

"Just don't, okay. Promises are meant to be broken, a-and I don't think I would be able to handle another broken one.." She said with a straight face, looking directly into the girl's eyes.

"I..uhm, okay but how are you going to take me serious if I can't make promises to you Vanille?"

Vanille gave the girl a small smile and brushed her pink bangs from her eyes before kissing her forehead. "Actions speak louder than words Serah, I don' t need promises from you to prove how much you love me, I trust you."

'_Trust me..?'_

There was something she had not heard in eons, well it felt like that of course. It was enough to bring a smile to the pinkette's face but also made her stomach churn in an uncomfortable way. Vanille trusted her. This girl trusted her. That was big, which meant she really had to be careful with everything she did and said or she could risk losing Vanille forever. Something she never wanted to happen. "You trust..trust me Vanille?"

The red-head nodded. "Of course, took me a while but, I have to learn how to someday if we're going to be together."

This girl was amazing. Serah had to keep questioning herself as to how she ended up with someone so caring as Vanille. Fal'cie knew she didn't deserve someone like her. She smile brightly, a smile that Vanille has never seen the pinkette give. "You're too good to me Vanille, really."

Vanille giggled and kissed Serah's forehead. "Let's go home.."

* * *

><p>"One beer please.." Fang called out to the bar tender.<p>

"Coming right up!."

The wild haired woman sighed out dropped her head against the table. Since her and Vanille's break up she hadn't seen or heard from the red head in four days. She knew she would have to eventually get used to it since they were no longer with one another but, so far she wasn't coping with it so well. She spent most of her time in the bar attempting to drink away her sorrows only to find out they never go away. Then she's left with a terrible hangover.

She's been a mess these past few days. Losing Vanille to that pink haired broad, Serah was nothing easy to get over. Vanille was hers. Then suddenly here comes Serah to swoop her up and steal her away!. She growled and clenched her fist against the bar top. The thought of that sarcastic, promiscuous hussy was always enough to make steam emit from her ears.

"Here you go!." The bar tender placed the mug of beer in front of the woman and quickly zipped away t serve another customer.

She picked up the mug and began chugging down the golden carbonated contents held within it. She really missed Vanille. Those words she said to the girl the last time she seen her was out of anger. Finishing off the drink she placed the mug back on the counter. "Another!." She knew what she would do she'd just go to Vanille and apologize to her and everything would be good again. Maybe then she'd come back to her. She grumbled again. Yeah right, not while Serah was in the picture. If only there was a way to get rid of her.

"Welcome to Carbuncle Tavern!."

"White Lightning, no ice, straight." A dull voice spoke and sat down next to Fang.

"I presume your day is just as bad as my own?" Fang responded after hearing the woman's drink request. "White Lightning is nothing to play around with."

"Hmph, I don't need your advice on what I'm drinking.." She said rather rudely but Fang only laughed it off.

"Here you are!." The tender bought both women their drinks. "Enjoy."

Fang picked up her mug and repeated the action she did early. Rolling her eyes to the side, she took a gander at the woman beside her. When she seen her, she damn near choked. The woman beside her stared blankly and in an uninterested manner while sipping down the clear contents in the glass. "Y-you, Eh? Serah!?" She growled out and stepped into the woman's personal space.

The woman flinched at the mentioning of that name and took another sip of her drink before calmly placing it down on the counter. As usual it was no shock that Serah's name came spewing out of some random person's mouth. Serah was rather popular among the general population these days with her slutacious ways. "No, I'm not Serah. And never refer to me as that name." She said in an irritated tone, then this woman was all in her personal bubble. "You have lesser than a few seconds to get out of my face or there is going to be a problem."

Fang huffed and pulled away. While she knew that the woman wasn't Serah, she definitely looked like her. Why was that? "Who are you then? And why do you look like that broad?" Fang asked and slumped back down in the chair. She could feel the alcohol starting to take its effect on her body.

She rolled her eyes. "That's none of your business." She said then turned in her seat and continued sipping her drink.

Fang shrugged. "Well then, I guess you don't care if something were to happen to her now would you?"

"She _was_ my sister." As bad as Lightning wanted to right hook this woman in the face for making threats towards her sister, she didn't. She held her anger in and sipped at her drink again. What purpose would it serve anyway? She was dead to Serah now. She saw no reason in protecting her or bothering to fight the girl's battles anymore. It would mean nothing, nor would it ever direct the girl's attention back to her. "But she is no longer. So do what you want..." Lightning said dryly before drinking back the remainder of her drink. The second she said those words she wanted to take them back. But every time those words resonated in her mind;

'_I hate you..'_

'_I hate you..'_

The regret she felt just washed away like water on a duck's back. "What did she do to you anyway?" Lightning asked. She was a little bit curious as to what Serah did to make this woman want to do something terrible to her. Naturally it probably was the same thing as always. The pinkette turned her head to face the woman when she didn't answer, but she was gone.

* * *

><p><em>The sky was dark and flashes of lightning peaked through the masses of dark. A sudden down pour of rain followed. Vanille ran through the empty streets of Bodum, frantically searching for something. Around every street corner and down every alley way, there was nothing. "Where are you.." sobbed as she continued to search. She wiped the water and tears from her eyes. Another flash of lightning and a roar of thunder clapped against the sky.<em>

_She started to worry, panic even. Her pants and breaths grew heavier and deeper. A sharp nagging pain started growing in her throat and the taste of blood fell over her taste buds. It felt like her lungs would collapse at any moment but she couldn't stop running. She refused. Not until she found her._

"_SEEERAH!."_

_She shouted out at the top of her lungs. Her voice echoed through the empty streets but there was no response. She said that she would be right back. But that was almost two hours ago. "Serah.." Another blinding flash but this one struck the ground directly in front of her, creating a large cloud of smoke afterwards. The smoke lingered for about ten seconds but when it cleared; a figure stepped forward. "Lightning..?"_

_Angered by the sight of the woman, Vanille ran around her and continued the search for her lover. "Serah..please, please be okay.." Her heart twisted in her chest and her stomach was up on a thousand knots by now. The girl came to a stop next to a wall and slid down against it. She pushed her soaked bangs from her eyes and slowly started to weep. She'd ran through this entire town already yet the girl was nowhere to be found. She couldn't help but think the worse now. "Serah…"_

"_Vani-Vanille.."_

"_Hn!." Vanille's eyes quickly shot up at the familiar voice but her expression was that of horror. "Se-serah!"_

_Said girl collapsed to the ground, heavily wounded and just barely hanging onto her life. Vanille rushed to the girl's side and gathered her lover up into her arms. "Serah, Serah, no!." She was still breathing but very weakly. "Serah..what happened.."_

_The pinkette coughed violently which resulted in her spitting out blood. She smiled sadly and weakly reached out to touch the girl's face. "Y-you.." She chuckled a bit. "That's..that what happened." Her arm dropped back to her side and her eyes stared up blankly at the storming skies._

"_Se-Serah…" The red head shook her lover several times but there was no response. "N-no.." She buried her face into her chest and wept quietly. Who would do this? and Why? Who would want to hurt Serah like this and most of all. Hurt her this way. "Li-lighting!." She gasped and quickly picked her head up. She did see Lightning just before she turned this corner. She had to be, the one responsible for this. "Serah.."_

_A growling sound drew a crying Vanille's attention away from her now dead lover. What she seen startled her, and she moved back, with Serah's body still in her arms. There, stood a behemoth, but a very unusual one. It was royal blue and had green eye. The same green eyes that she had. What made it even more unusual is that the creature looked like it was smirking at her._

* * *

><p><strong>Uh-oh.. :D<strong>

**What will happen next? :DD**

**Stay tuned.**

**On another note, it may be some weeks before I update this story. I'm trying to finish up my other story No Boundaries before Lightning Returns comes out. And the story may have up to twenty something chapters and I'm only on five cause I keep getting distracted by this one. But don't get disappointed. The wait will be worth it! :D**


	17. Empathy

**Ahh! Another chapter up and ready to read! :D Thanks to all that read my last chapter!. Thanks for the reviews as well. You guys are the reason I continue on with this wonderful story here!. Enjoy :D**

**Chapter 17: Empathy**

"N-no Ser-Serah!" The red-head's eyes shot open quickly, and she sat up just as fast. Looking around, she noticed that the pinkette wasn't in the bed next to her. Just an imprint in the covers where she once laid. "Serah!."

Vanille sprung up out of the bed and ran from the room. Oddly she felt dizzy and disoriented. Maybe because she had gotten up too fast. "Serah!." She ran to the kitchen to search but there was no sign of her. The girl started to panic and worry. What if Serah went out and the behemoth got her like in her dream? "No!." She rushed from the kitchen and and continued searching the entirety of the home.

Serah stood outside on the front doorstep of her house. She was on the phone having a disagreement with Snow. "Yea we're back early but that doesn't mean we're coming in!." She argued back at the blond who was still not taking Serah's no for an answer. "No, Vanille isn't coming in. We're still on vacation. It has not been two weeks yet. Why don't you get the two new girl's Frosti and Sapphire to perform. We're not coming in and that's that. Good-bye Snow!." Serah hung up her phone and slipped it into the back pocket of her shorts. A sigh escaped her lips and she slouched back against the door.

Today was filled with a chain of unexpected events and none of them were good ones. Nothing good ever happens to her it seems. It's like she was cursed with bad luck. Either that or the universe just hated her. "I just can't.." A frown replaced her blank expression. She still could not believe that Lightning was alive..alive!. "How could.." The pinkette started to feel heat in her cheeks as her eyes started getting all watery. Every time she thought about the situation the angrier it made her. She never thought that Lightning, her sister, her ex-lover, a righteous soldier of the Guardian Corp would do something so low, just to make her feel so terrible. "Why..Lightning..?" She said lowly. "I can't believe you.." She stopped her sentence and squeezed her eyes shut. All she could see was when Lightning first made her appearance in the house. It just kept replaying and replaying like broken record. She grit her teeth and started grinding them together. "I just can't.."

"Serah!"

The front door slid open and there was Vanille. "Serah!." The red head threw herself into her lover's arms, not realizing that she'd been crying or that she was upset period. She was just glad nothing had happened to her like in her dream. "Y-you're okay!"

Serah sniffled. No she wasn't okay she was all torn up honestly. But the way Vanille said it made the pinkette wonder a bit. "Yeah Vanille," she said, straining to keep her voice even. "Of course I'm okay." She stroked the girl's back gently. "Why what's wrong..?"

Vanille refused to pull away from Serah and held on to her tighter. "I-I had a bad dream. I dreamed that you.." The vision of bloody Serah played in her mind again and she quickly flinched and buried her head into her lover's chest. "I dreamed that you, that you left me forever.." She said in a weak cracking voice that sounded like she was about to cry.

"Oh Vanille." Serah hugged the girl up in her arms and kissed her forehead. "I'd never leave you. Nothing or no one can force me to do such a thing." She said in a very serious tone. "You're the only-" A thought of Lightning came across the girl's mind but she quickly shook it off. "I want no one else but you..and I've realized that more today than ever before." She said, though absently. A tear rolled from her eye that she didn't notice but Vanille did.

The girl reached up and flicked the tear away. Again Serah was doing her spacing out. Vanille wasn't even sure if the girl realized what she had said. "Okay Serah.." She said sadly. It seemed that recently she could never get the girl's full attention. And it all started that day on the beach. As selfish as it sounded Vanille wanted all Serah's attention directed to her. They couldn't even have proper sex without the girl blacking out. And it was angry sex. Never calm and sensual. Just rough and wild. While she didn't mind it some times, it would be nice to have passionate, loving sex every now and then, and actually remembered it. Maybe she could try it now. "Serah.."

The young pinkette jumped slightly at Vanille's voice. She'd forgotten she was there. Too busy caught up in her own thoughts that were just eating away at her mind. "What's up Vani-"

Her sentence was shortened when a pair of lips wrapped around her own, Vanille's lips. Serah's eyes fluttered shut and she kissed back. She was confused as to where this came from so suddenly but it didn't matter much to her honestly. Kissing Vanille was like a drug.

The warmth of Vanille's tongue pressed against her bottom lip and she moaned out unwillingly, shuddering as she did. The red head giggled a bit as her tongue managed to find its way into the pinkette's mouth. Serah could never get enough of it. She could never get enough of her. Vanille was like Heroin to her. The touch of her lips to her's was enough to send her into a sexual frenzy. Serah's breathing went jagged and her nails started clawing into Vanille's skin as the kiss grew more and more intense. She could just-

"The two of you are terrible you know that.."

Serah growled mentally and bit down hard on Vanille's lip causing the girl to cry out and pull away. Of course she didn't mean it and felt terribly bad about the action, but that voice really pissed her off. Serah flashed Vanille an apologetic expression and the girl hugged onto the pinkette while still licking away the blood from her lip. Serah then looked up to the person who made the comment. "We're terrible..?"

Serah couldn't believe this guy came strolling back here after all the trouble he's caused. Him and Lightning. "You and Claire hid away the fact that she was alive all this time, but we're terrible!?" She scuffed and glared darkly at Hope who just stood there staring with no remorse in his eyes whatsoever. "The two of you are the terrible ones. Don't come pointing fingers at me because your guilty conscious is gnawing at you. Hope get the hell out of here.."

But he didn't listen, he wasn't about to leave until he got his point across. "She came here to apologize to you and you treat her like that!? You really are heartless as I've stated before. You don't really deserve her apology if you ask me. You should be the one on your knees apologizing and begging for her forgiveness!."

It wasn't intended but Serah had to laugh out loud at his statement. "Yeah I thought that at one point in time too but, not anymore. Not after this. I don't want her apology she can keep it. Sorry can't fix the way I've felt for the past two years so forget it. If it's heartless you see me as then heartless I will be.."

Hope growled and slowly curled his hand up into a fist. One punch would have been nice but he was never one to lay hands on a woman. He took in a deep breath and calmed down a bit. There was too much tension here. "You know, one day you're going to mess around and piss off the wrong person and it's not going to be a pretty ending for you."

Vanille frowned.

"You know it's against policy for Guardian Corps soldiers to harass and threaten innocent citizens. They can be stripped of their rank for doing so." Serah said simply.

"Innocent you're far from-"

"Guess I'll give them a call."

"Ugh!." The fuming male stepped away from the pinkette. "You're going to get yours one day Serah.." He said then looked down at Vanille, who he glared at with disgust before walking off.

It was an odd feeling. Vanille had never experienced so much hate that was directed towards her until she met Serah. But she could care less what others thought or how they felt about her. But that last comment Hope made scared her a bit.

"Hey.." Serah called upon seeing the sad expression of a Vanille's face. She hated seeing her frown. "Don't worry about him alright. He's no one to worry about." She was still focused on a departing Hope so Serah pressed her index finger against her cheek and turned her head to look in her direction. "Okay..?"

Looking into those cerulean eyes, Vanille wanted to believe that was true but she remembered the last time when Serah told her that Lebreau wasn't a threat. Look how that turned out.

"Don't worry Vanille." She said and gently stroked her cheek. "I prom-" She paused and corrected herself. "Nothing is going to happen." She leaned in and placed a quick kiss to her lips.

"Right." She said with a small smile. She figured she'd take a chance and take Serah's word for it. Hope didn't look like the type of person to hurt anyone. But looks could be deceiving. "Okay Serah."

"Now," she said quietly and pushed Vanille's chin up with her index finger. "Where were we.." She said and caught Vanille's lips between her own.

Vanille allowed their lips to connect for a short few seconds before pulling away. She wasn't so much into this anymore as she was earlier. Hope came along and really killed her mood off with his negativity. "I, not right now Serah." She said and stepped back from her lover. Then that dream was still at the edge of her mind. Serah covered in blood, falling into her arms and barely alive.

_'Y-you happened..'_

"N-no.." She quickly laced her arms around the pinkette's neck and hugged onto her as tightly as she could. Perhaps she was thinking way too deeply into this. Dreams are dreams. Nothing else. But the blood, and Serah's dying words. They all felt so real, too real almost. "Just promise me you'll never go away.."

"What..?" She held on to the girl as she started trembling uncontrollably. "I thought you don't like promises."

"I don't but I need this one.."

"Hmm.." Serah mused. Vanille's odd behavior was bewildering. What was this all of a sudden?"Alright, I promise I'll never leave you." She tried not to say it so laxly and attempted to make it sound as solid as possible so the red head would actually believe her words.

It still wasn't enough. That feeling was still there, that bad vibe. "Thank you.."

**-xxxxxx-**

Serah could say she didn't sleep well at all during the night. She had to keep waking up and comforting Vanille because of a recurring nightmare she kept having. When she asked her about it all she said was nothing. The pinkette let out a tired groan and looked down at Vanille who was lying across her chest. She seemed to be sleeping soundlessly now. Its been two hours since she had last waken up. Serah wanted to roll over and go back to sleep but couldn't. Her mind wouldn't allow her to do so.

Slowly, she pulled herself out from under Vanille and placed a pillow under her head. The pinkette slid out of bed and walked over to her window. It was a beautiful day like any other days in Bodum. And the beach was crowded as usual. Kids running about, girls lying in the sand trying to catch a tan. Some playing volleyball. It was the same thing everyday. She grabbed the dark curtains on both sides of the window and pulled them shut, blocking out the sunlight and darkening the room.

She had to get out of this house today. Her and Vanille both. Clear their heads, do something fun. Whatever fun was in this town. Everything eventful always happened in Eden. Bodum was only an exciting place for tourist. Anyone that lives here knows how repetitive the lifestyle is and hates it. She was one of those people. The pinkette moved from the window and walked to the small table by her bed, where her laptop was. She could always call up Gadot and the others, they were always full of surprises when it came to doing something fun, but their ideas sometimes went over the top and most of the time ended with someone sick or a little hurt. Poor Maqui is usually the victim of it all.

"Let's see, events in Bodum." She typed in the search tab and received seven results.

"Bohdum Jazz Festival." She shook her head and kept scrolling.

"Model De Chic? No way.."

She shut the laptop and slumped down in the chair. For a town that's known for its popularity there wasn't that many events going on.

"Serah! Ser-!"

She sat up in the chair at the sound of the girl's terrified voice. "I'm right here." She ran over to the bed quickly and Vanille hugged on to her. "I'm right here. Was it that dream again?"

Vanille nodded. "Yea.."

Serah's eyes drifted off towards the window. "Vanille, what is it? And don't tell me nothing.." The girl was really worrying Serah. And with her telling her absolutely nothing was just adding on to her worries. "If you don't talk about it Vanille it's just going to keep bothering you. Talk to me.."

Vanille frowned and looked down at the sheets. It wasn't that easy to explain. How could she say,' _Oh I had a dream about a behemoth, by the way the behemoth killed you_.' Serah would probably laugh it off and call her silly. She wouldn't look at it as something foreshadowing, but The red-head did. "I-I..it's, I just keep dreaming about you going away, leaving me. All by myself. I'm crying and calling out your name, but you're gone." Some tears fell from her eyes when she spoke the last words.

"Oh Vanille.." She kissed her cheek and wiped her tears. I told you before, I'm not going anywhere. I promised you that. Honest to Eden."

"I know but-"

"There are no buts.." Serah smiled for her lover and took her hands. "We both need to get out of this house and get some air. So later we're going somewhere..just not sure where too yet!."

"...okay"

A knock at the door interrupted the talk between the lovers. As always, visitors always irritated the pinkette for the simplest reason, she hated visitors. The girl slid from the bed and started heading for the living room. It was never anyone she wanted to see or wanted to speak with. She was hoping it wasn't Hope. Stopping at the front door, another knock came. Serah pressed the button and it slid open.

"He-he-he-hey Serah!" Snow said loud and obnoxiously when the door fully opened. Maqui, Yuuj, and Gadot was with him. The muscular blonde threw his arms out and pulled the girl into one of his suffocating hugs. Serah thought she was going to die of asphyxiation.

"Snow, let go of me!."

The male let go of the girl and she was panting heavily. "Oops." He chuckled. "My bad."

The girl finally caught her breath then looked at the three. They walked in, figuring that since the door was open they were being welcomed in. Serah hated this. "What are you four doing here?" She folded her arms over her chest and looked at the three.

"Well, " Snow began with a large smile. "We heard what happened about Lightning from Lebreau, and we just thought that we would pay you a visit to see if you were alright y'know." Snow's smile faded. "Can't imagine how bad that must have hurt you, her popping up after this long. Are you alright? Kind of had me worried about you."

Well this was random, but at the same time she was grateful to know that he cared this much to come check up on her. Snow never really went out of the way to come to her house unless it involved them having sex. To see him here because he was concerned for her was extremely shocking. "Wow Snow, I uhm..thanks." A smile slowly grew across her lips. "And I'm alright. It's still a lot for me to take in but, I'm not really trying to think about it." The smile quickly flipped into a frown. "We spoke, it was brief and it was short. I said what I had to say and it was over. We're not speaking."

"So uh.. you cut her off?" Snow asked a little reluctantly. "She's still your sis-"

"She's not my sister!." Serah retorted quickly. Snow could hear the anger in the girl's voice and quickly decided a change of subject was a good idea. "On another note, me and the guys wanted to ask if you and Vanille wanted to go with us to the Fireworks Festival. It's tonight!."

_'The Fireworks Festival..'_

How could she have forgotten about this event? It came around every year. She remembered when her and Lightning were younger, their parents would always take them. They'd both make wishes hoping that they would come true. Such a childish thing. None of them even came true. After the death of their parents, they stopped going. But the last time the two of them went was before Lightning disappeared. Then after that Serah only went once. Since then she had never gone again. To many memories. She had honestly forgotten about the event, or that it even existed. She wanted to go, but with Vanille this time. It was tonight too. This was perfect. "Actually Vanille and I were going to go with each other."

"Ah that's great we can all go together then!."

"No, Snow you're not following Vanille and I-"

"Alright then, see you at eight!." He interrupted before the four left out the door.

"Ugh!" Now she was wishing she never opened the door. But she would have never known about the festival if she didn't.

"Serah?" Vanille walked from the room and to where the pinkette currently was. "Who was it?"

Serah walked to the sofa and sat down, Vanille joined her a few seconds after. "It was Snow and the guys, just came by to see if I was alright."

"Mm.." She laid her head in the pinkette's shoulder and closed her eyes. "That was nice."

"Hey Vanille, let's go out. There is a fireworks festival this evening. It happens in Bodum every year. I haven't been in a long time, and thought that going together would be great.

"Fireworks Festival..?" She's heard about it before and always wanted to go, but never knew when it showed. She remembered one year her and Fang were gonna go together but they never did because of-

She shook her head, to shake off a bad memory that was surfacing. She faced her lover and clapped her hands with excitement. "I'd live to go Serah, of course!." At least this take her mind off that terrible dream she keeps having. Perhaps this day out is what she really needs. It'll clear her mind and hopefully this bad dream of hers."

"Great well I'm going hop in the shower and get dressed. I'm stepping out for a couple of hours to do a few things. You wanna come?"

Vanille shook her head. "No, I'll stay here." She wasn't in any mood to go any place right now. Her body was still tired as was she, but too terrified to go to sleep. "I'll be here when you get back."

"Better be!." Serah stuck out her tongue then rushed off into her room.

* * *

><p>"Hey Serah wait up!"<p>

The pinkette ducked around a corner, into an alleyway and his up against the wall from the blonde male and the blue haired male in the back of her. She didn't feel like being bothered by the two. She wanted to be alone. It was already bad that she had to see these guys later this evening at the festival.

"Found you!." Maqui said playfully while pointing his finger out at the pink haired girl. Serah was far from a playful mood she was more annoyed. "What cha doing?"

"What are you two following me around for?" She stepped out of the dark alleyway and back into the busy streets of the seaside town where people could be seen crowding the small stores, food carts, and game stations, but mostly the beach area. Serah knew a majority of these people were tourist They were either from Palumpolum or Eden. She remembered how her parents used to always bring her and Lightning around the afternoon time so they can enjoy all the fun events.

"We seen you and just thought we'd say hi." Yuuj explained.

"Hi." She said boredly.

"Hey I got an idea!" The blue haired male threw his arm around the girl's shoulder. "How about we go and play some of the games!. Remember like we used to!."

Serah shrugged his arm from her shoulder and shook her head. "No Yuuj, I'm busy. Now would the two of you please leave me alone. I'm not really in the mood to be bothered!."

Yuuj opened his mouth to say something but didn't. He folded his arms across his chest and looked at the girl while she walked away from him and Maqui. He thought for a second and then spoke. "Why are you so.." He paused when he saw the girl cease her walking. "Why are you so mean..now." He asked then bit the inside of his cheek. Maqui said nothing but he agreed with what his friend was saying. Yuuj continued. "Ever since Lightning allegedly died, you've grown distant towards all of us and extremely bitter too." He smiled. "I know what I'm gonna wish for tonight. I'm going to wish for the old Serah back. I don't know this one, and I don't particularly like her either. In certain ways, you kind of remind me of Lightning.."

"Yeah!." Maqui said in agreement. "Though it would be better if we didn't have to wish for it and you'd just go back to being old Serah right now!."

Serah twitched and clenched her hand into a fist. Being compared to Lightning wasn't something she took as a compliment. She took in a deep breath then exhaled, blowing off her frustration. Did they realize how foolish they sounded? The pinkette frowned, it was unseen by the two since her back was facing them. This was her now weather they liked it or not. She missed her old self too, being carefree, having fun, always smile. But her old self was just so naive, and innocent. She wasn't that anymore at all. She tried reverting back to the way as used to be but whenever she did, something or someone hindered that from happening. So she decided to stick with this persona. "Yeah, well all your wishing will be a waste, because it's not going to happen.." She said and walked out into the busy streets and blended in with the crowd of other individuals.

"Well we tried.." Maqui said and slumped over in defeat.

"And we're gonna keep trying Maqui. Old Serah is there, we just have to find a way to bring her out."

"Man, you heard her," The blond whined. "Anything we do is a waste."

The blue haired male smirked. "Not if you know the right person to talk to, let's go see Vanille!."

Serah was somewhat excited about the festival. It's been so long since she's went, but she wasn't nearly as excited as the people around her. It was just fireworks after all, well no they were "wishing fireworks." So to say. She had to wonder how many people showed up here every year and wished on the exploding lights and nothing happened. These people had to be here just for the attraction, there was no way that it could be anything else. If anything this was going to be boring, she didn't want it to be that, she wanted exciting, lots of pizazz!. Something to draw Vanille's mind away from her terrible nightmares. Could something as simple as fireworks really do that? She didn't think so. Something spontaneous had to occur, something Vanille wouldn't-

Serah came to a stop in front of a store and she looked in through the window. Her eyes widened and it was as if a light bulb lit up above her head. "Perfect!."

* * *

><p>Vanille rummaged through her closet, searching for something nice she could wear for later this evening. So far she found absolutely nothing. Whenever she thought she found the right outfit she ended up changing her mind and choosing another one, then another, and so on, until she had nothing left to choose from. "Ugh!" She fell backwards into the floor and into a pile of her clothes. Was she making a big deal out of this? Maybe. Just a tiny bit. No! She shot up from the floor and shook her head. She wanted something nice to wear. An outfit Serah hasn't already seen. Something new!. "Ah!." She clapped both her hands together and stood up from the floor. "The mall!." Palumpolum Mall seemed like a great place to shop. All the people there seemed very stylish. "Perfect!."<p>

_Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding-Dong!_

Who could that have been? Vanille walked from her bedroom and walked straight for the front door. Pushing the button, the door slid open. The red head jumped back but her legs suddenly gave out and she fell to the floor. She gasped quietly and started to shudder.

The person at the door stepped inside and Vanille started sliding back until her back eventually hit the couch. "Wh-what do you want..?" She thought after that day this person would never make another appearance in her life.

The person glared darkly at thee girl and took a few steps closer until she was just inches away from the girl. The terrified look in the girl's eyes amused her. "Thought you can just get away from me that easily?" She reached out and grabbed the red head by the center of her shirt and violently yanked her in her direction. "You're mistaken.."

"Fa-fang.." Vanille turned her head to the side and pulled as hard as she could to try and get away but the woman had a something like an iron grip in her shirt. "Let go of me.." She wiggled and kicked but her actions worked to no avail. She even threw light punches at the woman, which only angered her. She hated when Vanille tried to fight her.

Fang growled out of irritation and slammed the girl against the floor. Her fingers laced around the girl's neck and tightened. A small whimper escaped from the helpless girl's throat. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. What did she do to deserve this type of treatment. She grabbed at Fang's shoulders and started scratching deeply at her arms in attempt to get the woman to release her but it didn't work. "F-fang..please." Her eyes were tearing up at the thought of her lover. Perhaps this is what the dream reflected. Not Serah's death, her own.

_'No..'_

She drove her knee into the woman's stomach, causing Fang to buckle over and release her neck. Vanille quickly scurried to her feet and ran towards her room, Fang not that far behind her. The red head slipped into her room and tried to shut the door behind her but Fang's strength was far greater than her own and the woman forced the door open. The girl ran for her bathroom and Fang followed right on her heels. "Leave me alone!." She ran into her shower and closed the glass door. She didn't realize how dumb the idea was until a minute after she did it. Now she was trapped, Fang was right on the other side staring in.

"Stop this silliness girl, you can make this a whole lot easier if you just stop ya fightin' and come with me." Fang explained.

Vanille shook her head frantically. Going back with Fang wasn't an option. She'd only be depressed and broken the whole time and couldn't deal with that anymore. She'd rather take a trip to hell before ever deciding to be with Fang again. "I'm staying here!." She said firmly.

"What!?" Fang slammed her fist against the shower door and Vanille whimpered and ducked down. "Vanille if you don't come now, we're going to have some problems, yeah."

Vanille reached out and grabbed the handle of the shower door and pulled it, just in case Fang would try to snatch it open to attack her. "And even if I did come with you that won't change anything. Being with you is like being in prison Fang, and I hate it!. One little thing I do wrong, you abuse me. I voice my opinion and you don't like it, you abuse me. Do you know how many times I've wanted to kill myself because of you?" She sniffled quietly and wiped her tears as the ran from her eyes. "But then, I met Serah.."

Fang's anger was rising. Every time she heard Serah's name she wanted to hit something. She couldn't stand her for stealing Vanille away from her she just wanted to- "You're mine Vanille!." She yanked the shower door open even with Vanille's effort to hold it shut. Fang stepped inside and Vanille quickly tried to escape, instead Fang grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back. A hard slap to the right side if her cheek followed.

Vanille flinched from the hit and her body tensed up. Her cheeked burned like flames had burned it and her thoughts were scattered everywhere. Was this really occurring?

"Serah help me!." She felt so pathetic, calling for her lover knowing she wasn't there. Calling for someone period because she couldn't fight her own battles. That was pathetic. "Hel-!"

Fang went for another hit but this time with her fist to the girl's stomach, but there was a tap on her shoulder. "Hmm.." She turned to see who it was and was greeted with a punch to the face. The woman fell to the floor unconscious.

"Serah!." Vanille ran to the woman and pulled her into a hug. The pinkette stiffened. "Thank you..I was so scared." The red head didn't bother to look her lover in the face. She was just glad that she saved her.

"Let go of me.."

_'Huh..?'_ Vanille pulled away upon hearing a familiar voice but it didn't belong to Serah. She looked up at the person in front if her and instantly became embarrassed. She sighed and looked down at her feet. This had to be the third time something like this happened. It's like she was her personal savior of sorts. Why did this keep happening. "Li-Lightning.." She whispered. "Where did..how'd you get in?" Her eyes stayed glued to the floor.

Lightning rolled her eyes. She didn't feel like going through the whole explanation. "The door was opened, I heard you screaming, and here I am. Short enough for you?" She looked down at Fang sprawled out on the floor, then back at Vanille. "Trouble just seems to follow you everywhere I see."

"And you seem to always be there when it happens. Why's that?" Vanille asked curious about the woman's constant appearance whenever she's in danger.

Lightning shrugged. "Mere coincidence is all."

The red head sighed. "Well." She rose her head from the floor and smiled at the woman. "Thank you very much. I'm really grateful, honest." She looked off at Fang on the floor. Who knows what would have happened if Lightning didn't show up. She could have probably been severely hurt or worse. "I wish there was a way I could really repay you. This is like the third time you've saved me and all."

"Yeah well now you can." The woman leaned against the wall. "Where's Serah?"

Vanille bit her lip. "Uhm, she stepped out a little while ago. She should be back some time soon. Why something wrong?" Vanille walked towards the bathroom counter and sat on top of it. She watched the woman across from her, observing how her cold façade faded and sadness shown, upon her saying that Serah wasn't present. Vanille wasn't at all perplexed by this for she had seen the woman's sadness once before. But again? Why? And in front of her of all people. "What's.." Vanille quickly bought a hand up over her own lips when the woman's icy eyes fell on her, the courage she had to ask the woman anything vanished.

The woman sighed despondently then pushed off the wall. She wanted to say something, but decided against it and walked for the door.

"You miss her still, don't you?"

Lightning froze for a second or two but said nothing. She glanced at Vanille briefly then down at the still unconscious Fang. "I'll take her out of here for you." She said awkwardly and scooped the woman up over her shoulder. She took one more look at Vanille, this time looking her directly in the eyes before leaving the girl's room. Yes she miss Serah. She missed her a lot.

_'I hate you.'_

Those three words have been echoing in her mind since the last time she saw the younger pinkette. Lightning thought she could deal with it and use Serah's harsh words as another reason to not come back here, but instead they tore at her, scarred her even. She never thought twice that her sister would hate her for any reason.

Just as she reached the door and opened it to leave, Maqui and Yuuj were there. The two stiffened and gulped at the sight of the woman's presence. After the other night when she made her appearance at the bar, and attacked Snow and Lebreau, they both made sure to stay out of the woman's way. "H-hey Light.." Maqui also noticed that Fang was slumped over the woman's shoulder but dared not to ask why. When the woman walked them by, saying nothing at all, the two friends entered the house.

"Vanille!." Maqui called out for the girl.

"Hm.." Vanille stepped from her room. She blinked a few times, a little surprised to see the two here. It wasn't often that they visited. It threw her off a little bit. "Mn, hey g-guys what brings the two of you here?" She would have been a little more excited had she not just gotten out of a terrible fight with Fang. She wasn't exactly in an uppity mood at the moment.

"You alright there? You don't look so-"

"I'm fine!." She said to cut off their suspicion. She bought both hands up around her neck to try and cover up the dark obvious markings that were there. Her body was sore and it felt like she may have sprang her wrist after Fang slammed her earlier. She feigned an empty smile as her emeralds rolled off to look at everything else in the house.

"You sure you're alright Vanille?"

"Did Lightning do something to you!?" Maqui said aloud while flailing his arms up in the air.

"Wh-what no! No. I just had a bad fall in the uhm..bathroom. Nothing serious. Okay, now can we drop it, please?"

They could both hear the angst and frustration in Vanille's voice as she spoke. She even looked as if she was on the brink of tears but she continued to smile despite it all. It made the two feel a little uncomfortable but they weren't able to force the truth out if her it seemed. "We-well, we came here to talk to you about Serah." Yuuj started. "You see, before her sister disappeared, Serah used to be, I don't know fun, energetic, and positive. Now she's so gloomy and.."

Vanille nodded. "I get what you mean." She said. She's seen a couple of Serah's happy moments but like a light switch it comes on then goes off. When she was first getting to know Serah, Vanille thought she was a bit of a jerk, extremely standoffish, and just liked toying with others emotions for her own entertainment. But as the two of them grew closer, she realized a lot more about her. Yeah she can still be a jerk, standoffish, and still mess with people's emotions, but it's calmed down a whole lot lately. Serah has also softened up a lot more since she's been around. "So, what exactly are you two getting at?"

"Well, you're with her all the time, we were kind if hoping if you can help us. We don't really like this Serah much. She gives off negative energy. We want the Serah we were able to laugh with and crack jokes without taking them so personally. You know?" Yuuj explained. We can't do it on our own. So can you?"

"Sure I'll help." She nodded. "So how do you guys plan on going about this?"

"Well since everything went down the hill after her sister left, we were thinking about trying to get them back talking with one another. That would be a start."

Vanille pursed her lips and looked down at the floor. "That's kind of a long shot don't cha think?"

"Aww," Yuuj slumped over in defeat. "You're not going to crush our hopes as well are you Vanille..?"

"N-no! No! I'm just saying. Serah and Lightning had a bad confrontation. I'm sure Serah doesn't even want to hear her name, sadly." Vanille explained. "But I'm not saying you shouldn't try. I mean it's worth a go. I actually seen Lightning today and weather Serah knows it or not, she's really sorry."

"Wait, Lightning said sorry!?" Yuuj said obviously surprised.

"Vanille shook her head." Not directly. I'm just good with reading people is all. Anyhow, I'll be glad to assist you guys. I want to see a cheerful Serah just as much as the two of you. So I'll talk to her after the fireworks festival this evening. Yeah?"

"Vanille?" The front door opened and Serah walked inside. "Hey I'm back and look what I-"Her happiness disappeared upon seeing two faces she wasn't expecting to be at her home. "I thought I left you two back in town what are you doing here at my house?" She wasn't upset or mad just a little irritated.

"We were just talking about the festival is all." Vanille spoke up in the two's defense. "They were just telling me about how beautiful it is. This will be my first time going so sounds pretty exciting."

"That's right!" Maqui shouted and ran for the door, pulling Yuuj along. "But we'll be leaving now. L-let's go Yuuj!." He yanked the other out the door and ran off.

Vanille smiled brightly at the pinkette in front of her but it was faltering and she knew it. "I uhm, I'm going to go get dressed now so we can-"

"What's wrong?" Serah stepped closer to the red head but Vanille drew back as she did. She dropped her head to hide away her broken emotions, knowing just how well Serah was good at reading her. "I-it's.." She sighed. Why does she continue to lie to her this way? She asked herself that question time and time again, knowing the answer. All the times she's been with Serah, she'd thought she'd be comfortable and freely share what's on her mind or bothering her. Yet she wasn't. She was afraid, afraid of judgement. Though the pinkette had never judged her before. It was a weakness she developed while with Fang, and it wasn't easy to overcome. "It's.."

"Nothing..right?" She could understand that there was a lot Vanille chose not to speak about, especially when it came to Fang. She accepted that. But she's shutting her out on everything now. Serah wanted to help her but with Vanille keeping it all in made it impossible. The girl was easily able to tell that Vanille's nothing was something. Her eyes told it, by how glossy they were as if she was ready to cry, her body was slightly trembling like she was traumatized by something though she tried to tense up to stop it, the way she avoided eye contact with her, the frightened expression. Serah seen all if this in Vanille, signs that something was very wrong. "If it was nothing you wouldn't be shaken up like this. Vanille," She reached for the girl's hands that she had clasped tightly around the sides of her neck, and she would not let go. Not even Serah gently pulled.

"Stop it!." The red head yanked away from the girl and turned her back. She breathed in deep to try and control her crumbling emotions but she failed. She fell to her knees and broke down in tears.

"Vanille.." Yea something was definitely wrong now. "Hey," Serah knelt down in front of her lover and gently grabbed her shoulders. She felt the red-head flinch at this and she tried to pull away but Serah held on tightly to her shoulders. "What's wrong with you!?" Vanille whimpered and continued to try and pull away from the pinkette, pushing and trying to wriggle her way from her grasp. "Let go, let go, let go!" She started hyperventilating when Serah's arms wrapped around her, she panicked. "Please.." She cried and threw her arms up over her head, shaking and crying heavily. "You're gonna hurt me too..?"

"Wha-what?" The pinkette raised an eyebrow. "Alright Vanille, I'm tired of you telling me nothing, you've been acting strange since last night. Tell me what's wrong. And don't tell me-"

"It w-was Fang.." The girl blurted out through her sobs. "She attacked me.."

"What!?" Serah's anger shot through the roof. "You let her in!?"

"I-I didn't!" Vanille answered quickly. "I opened the door and she was there and she just walked in.."

So the last of Fang wasn't that day on the beach after all. The pinkette growled and curled her fist against the floor but sighed and calmed herself. She couldn't do anything. She was just as terrified of Fang as Vanille was. After that night where she nearly made it out alive when the woman confronted her about the red-head, was enough to terrify her every time she seen the woman. She shuddered and held on to Vanille. She felt bad that it was the only thing she could do. "I'm tired of her coming around and harassing you this way." Serah pulled her phone out of her pocket and started dialing a number.

"Who are you calling!?"

"Hey Gadot!." Serah said when her call was answered. "I have a favor to ask of you and Sn-"

Vanille quickly slapped the phone from The girl's hand and it slid across the floor. "Wh-what the hell Vanille what'd you-"

"Please don't.." She asked softly. "You're gonna send them after her aren't you?"

"Uhm, yes Vanille she keeps hurting you. You think I want to continue to see this happening to you?" Serah explained. "If someone doesn't do something you can end up seriously hurt or worse. It pains me already that I can't do something myself..please Vanille. If something were to happen to you because of her I don't know how I would deal.." When Vanille looked up at her she noticed the dark marks around her neck and became terrified by this. She reached a hand out and touched the area gently with her index finger. "Look at this, and you don't want me to take some kind of action?"

The girl lowered her head and stared down at her hands in her lap. She appreciated Serah's concern for her and really wanted to see someone give Fang a taste of her own medicine but, she also didn't want to see anyone get hurt on her account. She didn't think she was that important to take it to that extreme. Gadot and Snow were pretty humongous they probably wouldn't hurt Fang, they're pulverize her. Vanille couldn't live with something like that on her conscious. "I'm sorry Serah, I just can't let you do that.."

"You cannot be serious right now, Vanille!." The red-head could hear the frustration and anger in the girl's voice at her request. It really made her feel bad but this was her choice. "So, what are you gonna do when she comes and tries to attack you again?" Serah pulled away from the girl, dropping something from her pocket as she did. She stood up and walked towards the bar counter in the kitchen. Lying her head against the surface she growled loudly. "You're gonna run again? It's obvious that that's not working if she keeps catching up to you." She said bitterly, causing Vanille to sink down against the couch. Serah's tone was scaring her. "I'm sorry Vanille," She picked her head up from the counter and turned to face the girl again. "But this is dumb. That's my opinion. How can you put her before yourself? After all that she's done to you." She huffed and slammed her fist against the bar top. "I really don't understand you right now. But, if it's what you want, then I'll respect that." She walked pass the girl and scooped her phone up from the floor. "I'll be outside alright.." Serah shook her head and walked out the front door.

Vanille sighed and dropped her head back against the back of the sofa. Serah was pissed at her now. Everything she said was true, Vanille knew that and she knew her decision was probably the dumbest, but she didn't want to see Fang get hurt. She hated it when Fang hurt her so how would she be able to get satisfaction out of seeing her being beaten by someone. That was sick and disgusting in her mind. There were other ways to handle things like this, violence wasn't always the answer to it all, as naive as it sounded.

Just as she was about to stand up, she caught something at the corner of her eye. "Hmm..?" The red head picked up the small square object covered in black velvet and blinked. "A box.." Not just any box she's seen something like this before, what was it doing here, in this house? This was one of the last places she though she'd ever find something like this. Vanille pulled the box open to reveal what was inside and-

* * *

><p>The whole time they were walking through Bodum, Serah was extremely quiet. Vanille flashed smiles at her every now and then and tried to engage in conversation with her but Serah only gave her one word responses, killing and dampening her mood. This wasn't at all how she expected the night to be. She knew Serah was pissed at her before they left but she would have thought that she'd be over it by now. She didn't understand why it was bothering her this much. The pinkette rarely got mad at anything that didn't involve her, so for her to be this angry at her over Fang, was bewildering. This silence from her was tearing Vanille apart on the inside. If it was going to be like this for the rest of the night, she'd just rather to home.<p>

"Hey Serah! Vanille!" It was Snow. Vanille looked over her shoulder to see the goofy blond waving his hands up in the air while running towards them. Gadot, Maqui, Yuuj, and Lebreau were with him. Finally catching up to them he stopped in front of them, his bright goofy smile shinning down on them as usual. "Hey glad to see the two of you could make it!." Snow commented.

"Of course!." Vanille said feigning a smile. "We said we would after all why wouldn't we. R-right Serah?" She looked over at the pinkette who just folded her arms and turned her head the other way. "Hmph!." Vanille's smile shattered upon this happening but she quickly fixed to brush away any concerns. "She won't admit it but she's glad to be here too!." The redhead said cheerfully despite herself.

"Awesome!." Snow responded and clashed his fists together. "Anyway, were headed over to the fireworks dome, it's about to start in a few minutes. You guys coming?"

Vanille nodded. "Yea we'll be over there shortly, you guys go ahead and go. Serah and I will catch up." She flashed them a smile and Snow gave them a thumbs up before he and the others left them.

Vanille turned to Serah and her phony smile faded to anger. Serah noticed this and quickly became amused by it. "Awe," she faked a concerned expression and tilted her head. "What's wrong with you?" She asked sarcastically.

"Why are you acting like this Serah?"

The pinkette chuckled. "Acting like what?"

Vanille growled. "Stop playing around you know what I'm talking about!."

Serah shrugged. "Who's playing?" She smirked and plucked Vanille's forehead.

"Uggh! You're being such a.." She narrowed her eyes at the pinkette but it only added to Serah's amusement and she laughed again, just to rile the girl even further. "I'm such a what Vanille?" She pushed.

She really disliked when Serah played stupid head games with her it was extremely childish. And she also hated how she always fell right into them. "A jackass!."

Serah snickered. Seeing Vanille angry was always so entertaining and hilarious to her since she never got mad about much of anything. "Enlighten me my love, how exactly am I a jackass?"

A flash of green and purple lit up the skies followed by a loud crackle and boom. Next came loud cheering. The fireworks had started. "You just are. And always have been!. You're mad at me for absolutely nothing, you're ignoring me, and now you're playing games!."

Serah's smirk turned into a bright smile and she laughed once again. Looking at Vanille's angry face wasn't at all convincing. If anything it was extremely cute to her. "I wouldn't be mad at you for nothing Vanille. I'm mad at how naive you're being." Her face was now serious. "Fang needs to be taught a lesson and she can't learn that lesson if you don't let me do it!. She beats you Vanille. That's not cool. And you caring so much about what happens to her is crazy. She doesn't care about you when she's hitting you!."

"So you want to address the situation in a violent manner?" Yellow lit the sky.

"See, that's naive. It's the only way Vanille. Someone needs to strike fear into her heart. Maybe then she'll leave you alone." She sighed. "Vanille, I just care that's all. I wouldn't be so wound up and angry at you if I didn't. I know you'd do the same for me, no you did already. That's why I want to do this for you. I don't want to see you continue to be hurt." She reached out and stroked her cheek before pulling her into an embrace. "You said words weren't enough to express how much I really love you, well I'm trying to show you, but you won't let me." She chuckled and looked up at the fireworks lightning up inside the dome. "I wish you would let me in more.."

Vanille smiled a little bit. "You know you're not supposed to wish for it out loud, right?" Orange, pink, and blue lights flashed against the sky beautifully. The oohs and ahhs from the people watching filled their ears. Serah was right about everything but she still didn't wish to see something bad happen to Fang. She appreciated Serah showing how much she truly cared for her, but attacking Fang still wasn't sitting easy with her.

"I know that, just thought that I'd give it a try.." She smiled and kissed the top of her head. "My silent wishes never came true so I thought that voicing it would be better."

The red head giggled and kissed her lover's lips. "Well you got your wish. From now on I promise to tell you everything, no matter what it is." She turned towards the fireworks dome and looked at all the beautiful colors lightning up inside, amazed. She'd never seen something this awesome in her life. "Serah.." She reached into her own pocket and grabbed up something in her hand.

The pinkette walked behind the girl and circled her arms around her shoulders. "Yeah, what's up Vanille."

She hesitated for a second, continuing to watch the fireworks. For some reason she couldn't find the right way to say what she wanted to say. More like she was nervous to say it. "Uhm.." She swallowed hard and bit down on her lip. "I-I wish to-" she pulled the what she was clutching in her pocket out. "I wish to be-" She took in a shaky breath. Her heart was racing. She gently pulled from Serah's embrace and turned to look her in the eyes. She was blushing madly and she hated it. "I wish to be with you forever.."

Serah's eyes bulged. "Vanille I-"

"Serah," She held up the small box she found on the floor in the house earlier. She was still very embarrassed about what she was going to do. She dropped to one knee and opened the the velvet box, revealing a purple crystal ring, plated with a silver ring on the inside. "Marry me, Serah.."


	18. Unfaithful

**AAAAAAAND Next chapter! LET'S GOOOOOO!**

**WARNING: Lightning is extremely out of character in several parts of this chapter, I mean seriously seriously out of character! It was a little weird for me to write just knowing that. Anyhow, you've been warned.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18: Unfaithful<strong>

Serah's mouth fell agape as her eyes stared down at the ring Vanille was holding up to her. "I.." She wasn't sure what was confusing her more, Vanille asking her to marry her, or the fact that the ring looked identical to the one that she was going to give to the red-head, asking the same exact question. This moment was an awkward one no doubt. She smiled and reached out, pulling the ring from the box with her thumb and index finger. "Seems you beat me to the question first huh.."

Vanille giggled. Her eyes sparkled and glistened with the many colors of the fireworks lighting the sky. "Well maybe if you weren't so mad at me earlier than you would have noticed that you dropped it!."

Serah smiled warmly and observed the beautiful ring. "So you're really trying to claim me now?" She opened up her arms to the red-head and Vanille walked into her embrace. "Yep!." She admitted, nuzzling against her lover as they both watched the fireworks.

"Well, you got me Vanille." She slipped the ring onto her own finger and kissed the girl's head. "Yes."

Vanille lit up with absolute joy at Serah's answer. She was slightly nervous at first, thinking Serah would reject her but now she sees how silly she was being and all that nervousness was for nothing. She giggled then took in a deep breath. "Hey, Serah..?" Something important came to her mind.

"Hm?"

"Uhm," Vanille gently pulled from Serah's arms and turned to look at her. A small smile was visible but for a short amount of time, worrying the pinkette. "Don't make that face." Vanille said when her lover's blissful expression was replaced with worry. "It's nothing bad," She laid her hands on Serah's shoulder's but her expression never changed. "I want you to do something for me."

Serah, released a breath that she didn't even realize she was holding in. Her heart was also thumping loudly in her chest. "Anything Vanille, what is it?" She was calm now.

"I need you to-"

* * *

><p>The front door of their home slid open and Serah stormed in. Vanille following in suit behind the pinkette. "Serah, come on. It's for the best." Serah could hear Vanille but she was mostly tuning her out. She stopped at her window and pulled the curtains open that she had closed earlier that day. She liked beach setting during the evening rather than the day. She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, shakng her head lightly. She could see Vanille standing a few feet away from her, a desperate expression plaster along the girl's features. Her eyes glistened in the small bit of moon light that peeked through the window. She wanted to say yes but it wasn't that easy. The favor she asked of her was too much, and she was not willing to do it. "Vanille, I can't you know how I feel about her."<p>

Vanille lowered her eyes to the floor. "I know that, but I just want there to be peace between the two of you. You two need to talk and sort out your differences. You're sisters, you can't go on hating one another forever."

"She's not my sister!." She retorted. "It may sound that simple but it's not, if you were in my position Vanille you would understand. I don't want to see, hear, or breathe the same air as her." Her voice vibrated in her throat and Vanille shuddered a little. She knew this wasn't going to be easy but she didn't think it would be this difficult either. Serah's hatred towards Lightning was strong and she could see it in her eyes. "She misses you Serah.."

"Oh please.." She hissed.

"No really." Vanille started. "I didn't tell you but she was here today. She's the one who stopped Fang from seriously hurting me."

"…." She huffed.

"She didn't say it directly but I could see it. Serah she's hurting. I can tell she regrets what she did. So please, can you just try to speak to her, for me?"

"Vanille I-" She was extremely frustrated with the idea and was ready to just drop the whole thing. But Vanille's expression was really pushing her in a direction that she didn't want to go in. She imagined for a second, her and Lighting in the same room. It was a hard image to picture but she could see it nonetheless. All she could picture is heated words being traded. No mending of the broken bridges in their relationship, just more being destroyed. Their meeting up would be pointless and just make matters between them worse. "Vanille, I can't.."

"You can't, or you won't?" The red-head pushed.

"Both," She turned her gaze back towards the window to avoid the red-head's pleading one. Looking at her any longer she may have gave in and said yes. "End of conversation."

"Serah-"

"No."

"She's your-"

"No she's not!"

"Why won't you do this!?"

"Why are you so suddenly worried about me and Lighting's relationship!?"

"Answer my question Serah!."

"You answer mine."

"…"

"…"

_Silence.._

The two had a stare off for about forty-five seconds before Serah decided to break it. She walked from the window and fell backwards onto her bed. Vanille climbed over the girl and looked down at her with angry eyes. Serah smirked and focused on the designs in her bed spread. "Serah!."

"Vanille." She said calmly and cut her eyes to the red-head shortly before looking back at the designs.

She grabbed both sides of the pinkette's head and turned it so that they had eye to eye contact. Serah was hating this right now. "I'm just worried about you Serah. You're just so grouchy and lost most of the time and I know that it's because of you and Lightning's relationship. And I'm not the only one who sees this Serah everyone else does too. So maybe if you and her talk and repair your relationship then you'll probably feel better."

To hell what everyone else thought about her. She didn't care. Had this been anyone else she'd be totally against this. Vanille was right after all. She still wasn't for this though. But for Vanille she'd do it. How she seen her was all that mattered. She sighed out deeply. "Alright, alright.." She said reluctantly. "I'll talk to her.." said through gritted teeth. She was already regretting this.

**-xxxxxx-**

A soft mellow melody played from the laptop sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Serah sat on the sofa across from it, with her knees drawn to her chin and her head resting on them. Her eyes stared down at the bare wooden floors of her home, studying every crack and crevasse that was visible. Of course that's what it appeared that she was doing, but no. Serah was doing her usual and spacing out.

_'You two need to talk and sort out your differences.'_

Somehow Vanille had convinced her to talk to Lightning. Right now she wished that she would have argued further, but Vanille won the conversation and here she was, sitting on the sofa waiting for the arrival of the woman.

_'You're sisters you can't go on hating one another forever.'_

Yes she could. Serah could hate Lightning until the day they both died. If she had to. Vanille didn't understand. The two farron weren't just sisters, they were once lovers. They shared the same bed, kissed one another's lips, held the other, and were intimate. They were too close to be sisters, which is why Serah could not push herself to forgive lightning. Forgiveness meant that all bad blood between them would vanish, become annulled, forgotten, and fade away into the air. Serah wasn't ready for that to happen. Forgiveness meant that they'd see each other more, Lightning would visit or she would visit her. Because they were sisters, and everything was peachy. The pinkette clenched her fist against the coffee table and took slow breaths. Forgiveness meant chances, and chances lead to opportunities that should be forbidden because her heart already belongs to someone. She had to hate her. Hate was the only thing that-

Forgiveness meant, her true feelings would come to surface..

Hate locked up and threw away her undying love for Lightning..

Spilling out how she terribly missed her..

She had to hate her!

_How she missed her touch.._

To keep-

_Her kisses..__  
><em>  
>Those feelings-<p>

_Her body..__  
><em>  
>Those forbidden feelings-<p>

_Her love.._

From firing up again.

Forgiving her, forgiving Lightning, meant Serah would love her again. And she didn't want to. She loved Vanille, and Vanille only.

_'Marry me, Serah..'_

She couldn't go through with this. It was too overwhelming. Why did Vanille suggest this!. Serah groan out loud and rubbed her hands through her silky pink hair. This was giving her a giant headache. She didn't want to deal with this big conundrum.

Vanille was out for the day, hanging out with Yuuj, Maqui, and Gadot. Serah wished that she would have stayed though. She would have felt much more comfortable with her lover present. One on one with lightning, she didn't know how it would turn out. She hoped it would turn out for the worse. Maybe she should just be rude the entire time, and Lightning will get fed up and leave. Serah nodded. Knowing lightning and her short patience, her plan should work. Then when Vanille returns she'll just tell her all they did was argue. "I'm a genius!." She said out loud with a giggle.

The doorbell rang and Serah stiffened. It was time. Lightning was here and they were about to trade words, of maybe just glances. The girl took a deep breath and stood up from the sofa. Best to just get this over as fast as possible. When she reached the door she pushed a button and it slid open. Sure enough, it was Lightning.

Serah reluctantly stepped to the side and the older Farron walked inside. The door slid shut and the sisters walked towards the living room. No words were traded just yet nor did they even bother to look at one another. Serah kept her eyes at the floor mostly, while Lightning just boredly stared around. Serah sat in the sofa on one side of the coffee table while Lightning sat on the other side and crossed her legs.

Serah played with her thumbs and kept her eyes glued down at the floor. Lightning looked at everything in the room but Serah. This was more awkward than she expected it to be. She was almost regretting coming here.

The soft melody still played from the laptop, giving off a peaceful aura but not peaceful enough.

"Did I really hurt you that badly.." Serah spoke, catching the woman off guard. Someone had to say something first and she knew it wasn't going to be lightning. She didn't want to speak but the silence was killing her.

Lightning's eyes focused on Serah briefly before rolling off into a different section of the house. "You tell me..?" She said rather coldly.

And it started, typical Lightning to try and use reverse psychology, but Serah wasn't falling for it. "You're the one who left. So why don't you explain.."

Lightning smirked, this was starting to get interesting. "So you're trying to put it all on me huh? Don't forget dear sister, you're the one who was caught cheating." Lightning stated arrogantly, further aggravating the younger Farron.

"Tch!" Serah glared at the woman. She had a point. "Yea well..still! You didn't even give me a chance to fully explain myself. Had you stayed around for five minutes longer then you probably would have understood!."

Lightning was never one to get deep into feelings, but when it came to the relationship involving her and Serah, that was a soft spot since she cared so deeply for her. She hated revealing her emotional side, Serah rarely seen it, and right now this was one of those rare moments. "What more was there to understand Serah? You said you were in love with Lebreau. That was all the clarity I needed. Did you really expect me to stick around after hearing some bullshit like that!? Heh, you were sadly mistaken." Lightning folded her arms across her chest and closed her eyes, more so to hide away the sadness within them.

"So you ran off and decided to play as if you committed suicide, to make me feel guilty?" She huffed and shook her head. "Nice."

Lightning gave a mocking laugh and opened her eyes half way. "You, you, you. I must say Hope was kind of right, you are heartless." She stated dryly before speaking up again. "You're blinded by the fact that I faked my death, and that angers you. So much that you want to blame everything on me, ignoring the fact that you're the actual cause of this whole situation." The woman chuckled again and closed her eyes again. "You're not the only one that's hurting Serah, so am I, and it's because of you.." She said, gritting her teeth and growling out the last of her words.

The girl was becoming more and more irritated with the woman sitting across from her. How could she just sit here and point the finger only at her. She wasn't the one that played the death game, nor did she..did she- Serah slammed her fist against the coffee table and grumbled. "When you left I went looking for you I wanted to fix things between us. I didn't want us to end on bad terms. I wanted to talk to you Lightning, but I couldn't find you anywhere. And everyone claimed that they had not seen you. Then some days later, you're dead.." Serah's eyes softened up and became misty much to her disliking. "Have you any idea, how that made me feel?"

"Hmph.." She didn't care. "Yea well now you know what I was feeling. Didn't feel so nice now did it? I did what I did in attempt to break myself from you Serah." She inhaled and swallowed hard. "No matter what I did everything tied back to you because that's where my heart was. You were-" She dropped her head and stood to her feet. Her eyes completely shielded by her bangs. "You were everything..to me Serah, and to live with the fact of knowing that you were with someone else, that someone else made you happier than I did, shattered me." Lightning took her forearm and wiped it across her tearing eyes. She was struggling to keep her emotions in but they got the best of her. "So before you go pointing the finger directly at me, think about your own actions as well.." She said and turned her back. "That's all I have to say." And the woman started walking towards the door.

"Oh my god.." Serah said in a whisper. She never realized it before until now. Of course she used to blame herself for Lightning's death, knowing that her confession is what drove her to doing so, but now knowing the truth behind why Lightning did what she did, made everything much more lucid. "I can't believe.." Everything was her fault, all of it. "Lightning was truly the innocent one here. The woman got her heartbroken by her, just as she's done so many others. "I am heartless.." She whispered to herself. Tears fell from her eyes. "Lightning.." Serah leaped up from the sofa and ran behind the woman. The older pinkette was just seconds away from stepping out of the door, Serah couldn't let her go, she couldn't allow her to leave, not until she said what she had to say. "Lightning!." She threw her arms around the woman and buried her face into her back. It had been so long since she's done this, so long since she's been able to hug her like this. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.." She cried into her back. "Don't go..please."

"Serah.." Lightning whispered sadly. She knelt down and pulled the girl into her arms, hugging her tightly. She missed this, being able to hold the girl this way. A part of her wanted to break away, knowing her feelings for this girl was really starting to surface again. She wanted that but at the same time she didn't. She was unsure of what she wanted. Serah wasn't even available she had..Vanille. The thought killed Lightning inside. "I..I forgive you, Serah." She said against her ear and kissed her forehead before pulling away. She had to get out of here before this escalated into something more.

The gentle song that was playing on the laptop finished, and switched to another song with a piano intro.

"No!" Serah grabbed onto her shirt. She didn't want to let go, she didn't want Lightning to go

_'Those feelings..the ones that you wanted gone..'_

"I have to Serah," she stated normally. "Vanille will be back shortly, I'm sure."

Oh shit Vanille. How could she forget about her so quickly..

_'Hate her Serah!'_

The soft piano intro of the song continued on with the lyrics coming in shortly after.

"O-oh right, Vanille." She stammered.

Lightning raised a brow. "You say it as if you've forgotten about her."

"N-no of course not.." She lied. "It's just that..she's gone for the day a-and.."

_**'Story of my life,**__**  
><strong>__**searching for the right**__**  
><strong>__**But it keeps avoiding me.'**_**  
><strong>  
>Serah hugged on to Lightning and nuzzled her head against her chest. "And I don't want to be by myself."<p>

Lightning stiffened and kept her arms at her side. She couldn't hug her. "So you want me to stay?" Lightning asked straight forward.

Serah nodded and looked up into Lightning's azures. She really just wanted to stay like this with her.

_'Hate her Serah..what about Vanille..'_  
><em><span><br>__**'Sorrow in my soul,**__**  
><strong>__**Cause it seems that wrong**__**  
><strong>__**But really loves my company'**_

"I-I.." She whispered as she reached out and grazed her finger tips along Lightning's cheek. Lightning flinched and pulled away, she quickly went to stand but Serah would not let her go.

She loved Vanille, Vanille was special to her. But Lightning, Lightning was who she longed for. The person she's missed these past two years, the woman she's wanted all along. "Lightning.."

Lightning could see where this was going and she wasn't at all against it either. But this was all just temporary bliss. Nothing more nothing less. Serah missed Lightning and Lightning missed Serah. They'ed engage in sex but after that, then what? Serah would still be Vanille's and she'd still be alone. She gave a half smile and brushed The girl's bangs from over her eyes. It wasn't worth it. She'd only be hurting herself. "Serah," But, she couldn't help herself or her overwhelming emotions. If she held this in any longer, she'd die. "I love you." Lightning admitted quietly.

It was like she was waiting to hear those words. Hearing her speak them so softly almost made Serah melt. The girl laced her fingers behind the woman's neck and quickly leaned forward to kiss her.

_**'he's more than a man,**__**  
><strong>__**This is more than love**__**  
><strong>__**The reason that the sky is blue.'**_

Lightning didn't object. She closed her eyes and circled her arms around Serah's side and kissed back with passion. These feelings, the ones that she thought would never ever have a chance of surfacing again, did just that. It's funny how just being here, with Serah could draw them out just like that, Lightning would hate that had it been with anyone else, but Serah wasn't just anybody. She pushed her weight against the girl and Serah gently fell back against the floor.  
><em><strong><br>**__**'The clouds are rolling in,**__**  
><strong>__**Cause I'm gone again**__**  
><strong>__**And to him I just can't be true.'**_

Serah laced her arms around Lightning's neck and kissed deeper, parting her lips against the woman's, she moaned out and a soft shaky breath crept past, as Lightning's gently sucked on her bottom lip. Her eyes closed and trembling hands clasped both the older woman's cheeks.

Lightning broke her lips from Serah's and they both locked eyes with each other. Deep heavy and jagged breathing fell over both their lips and their hearts thumped away in their chest.

"Lightning.." Serah spoke quietly as the woman leaned towards her once again.

_**'And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful**__**  
><strong>__**And it kills him inside,'**_

...dammit, of all songs to play during this moment, it just had to be this one.  
><em><br>__'Vanille..'_

How could she be doing this. She shouldn't be doing this. Her eyes still focused on Lightning. The woman bit down on her own lips before pressing them against Serah's again. The girl shivered unintentionally. She couldn't help herself. This is what she really wanted, damn everything and everyone else.  
><em><br>__'Serah..'_

That voice, her voice, her sweet and innocent voice, echoing within the walls of her mind.

_'Vanille..'_

Serah gasped and arched her back against the floor. A squeal jumped from the back of her throat and she pressed her nails into the woman's back as her lips latched around her neck. Her heart skipped beats.

_'I would never leave you, not for anyone..'__  
><em>  
><em><strong>'To know that I am happy with some other guy<strong>__**  
><strong>__**I can see him dying,'**_

Lies. Why did she lie? She didn't. It was the truth. Lightning was thought to be dead, so Vanille truly was the only one she wished to be with. But now-

"Lightning!." She squeaked out and bucked against the woman's figure upon feeling her wandering hands groping and squeezing one of her breast.

Her feelings did a complete three-sixty.

_'No! Resist Serah, resist this, before you hurt someone else, someone you claim to love.'__'Vanille..'__  
><em>  
><em><strong>'I don't wanna do this anymore,<strong>__**  
><strong>__**I don't wanna be the reason why,''**_But she couldn't.

The older pinkette's hand moved from the girl's chest and travelled down to the bottom edge of her black shirt. Quickly she slipped her hand underneath and gently glided her fingertips along Serah's soft and toned stomach.

"Li-lightning.." She moaned out again and dropped her head back. She arched her body more to get more of the woman's touch along her hot and screaming figure. Lightning took notice to Serah's movements and slid her hand up further into her bra. Between the kissing and bitting she was doing to her neck, and the teasing her fingers were doing to her nipples, Serah was near her limit. She just wanted to-

_**'Every time I walk out the door,**__**  
><strong>__**I see him die a little more inside,**__**  
><strong>__**I don't want to hurt him anymore,'**__**  
><strong>_  
>"I'm barely doing anything to you and you're already so heated.." Lightning whispered against the girl's neck. She kissed at the three different areas of Serah's neck where she left deep red markings before pulling back.<em>'Just let her go before you hurt her..'<em>

Why was she doing this to herself?

"Vanille.." She uttered out purposely, causing lightning to pause her actions. She sat up and pulled back from the girl, her eyes rolled off to another part of the room. This was extremely awkward and now she started to view it as wrong. Regret washed over her for even trying to engage into intimacy with her, knowing her feelings for Vanille were very fresh. She knew it was a matter of time before this would happen. She had no idea why she even thought otherwise.

"Lightning I.." Serah frowned as she sat up and fixed her shirt. She tried to come up with something to say but the right words wouldn't come.  
><em><strong><br>**__**'I don't want to take away his life,**__**  
><strong>__**I don't wanna be**__**  
><strong>__**A murderer.'**_

The woman shook her head. "I understand Serah." Lightning rose from her spot on the floor. She had to get out of here. Staying here just made her want to throw herself out the window for being so damn foolish.

"Lightning no!." She followed to woman again and stopped her at the door. Lightning turned around and leaned her back against the door. "Don't leave.." Serah asked softly. She pressed her entire body against the woman's and wrapped one of her legs around her sides.

Lightning tensed, it was taking everything in her power to not lose control right now. She breathed in deeply then exhaled slowly before answering. "What about Vanille Serah?" Not that she particularly cared about her and the red-head's relationship. But she didn't like the idea of being called Vanille either. If Serah wanted the red-head then she'd just back off.

There was a silence between them. Serah lowered her head as if she was thinking about something. The music continued to play in the background.  
><em><strong><br>**__**'I feel it in the air**__**  
><strong>__**As I'm doing my hair,**__**  
><strong>__**Preparing for another date.**__**  
><strong>__**A kiss upon my cheek**__**  
><strong>__**As he reluctantly**__**  
><strong>__**Asks if I'm gonna be out late.'**_

_'Yea what about Vanille, Serah?'_

Her mind shouted out at her again. She squeezed her eyes shut.  
><em><br>__'You can't have them both..'__  
><em>  
>"Says who!?" She mumbled lowly and rested her head against Lightning's chest. Her fingers curled around the soft strands of the woman's hair. "Vanille she.."<br>_  
><em>_'She doesn't have to know..'_

That was a horrible thought. But that's how she was feeling. "Lightning.."

_'You hate her, now you love her again..?'_

"I can't help it, you're..I-"

_**'I said I won't be long,**__**  
><strong>__**Just hanging with the girls**__**  
><strong>__**A lie I didn't have to tell.'**_

She wasn't exactly the most faithful person. She knew that. She's cheated so many times already. What difference would cheating on Vanille with Lightning make? The song playing suited this moment so perfectly that it hurt.  
><em><br>__'Vanille I love you.'_

_'Then don't do this. Serah don't go and do this to another person.'_

_'You hurt people so badly to the point they wanna kill themselves!.'_ Lebreau's words.

"Lightning, Claire.." Serah pressed her forehead against Lightning's putting their lips just seconds away from each other's. She took in another shaky breath as the warmth from Lightning's breath brushed across her lips.  
><em><strong><br>**__**'Because we both knew where I'm about to go,**__**  
><strong>__**And we know it very well.**__**  
><strong>__**Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful-"**_

Lightning was almost tempted to lean forward and close their lips together, but decided against it. She looked into the girl's eyes reading how badly they were screaming for her to just take the girl. "Who do you want Serah.." She asked lowly, but softly. She knew the answer but she wanted to hear her say it.

_**'And it kills him inside,**__**  
><strong>__**To know that I am happy with some other guy,**__**  
><strong>__**I can see him dying,'**_

"You know what I want.." Serah said and pressed up against Lightning some more. "Please, don't make me say it.." She felt ashamed already for even doing this, knowing that she's with Vanille. She felt extremely low.

"Say it." Lightning demanded.

"Lightning stop it!." She leaned in to close their lips against one another's but Lightning pulled back. "You're being mean!." Serah pouted out.

"And you're being difficult." Lightning retorted.

"So are you!." Was her only response.

_Staring..._

_**'I don't wanna do this anymore,**__**  
><strong>__**I don't wanna be the reason why**__**  
><strong>__**Every time I walk out the door**__**  
><strong>__**I see him die a little more inside.'**_

"I can't Lightning.."

The woman sighed and turned her head to the side. But Serah grabbed her face and turned it back towards her. "Alright, alright!." She huffed out a small sigh. "I want you.." She said quietly, so quiet that she could barely hear herself.

"Hmm.." Lightning hummed. She smirked and flicked Serah's bangs from over her cerulean eyes. "I didn't quite _hear _you." She said, emphasizing the word hear.

"Why are you doing this to me?" The young pinkette pouted as she grabbed on to the straps of Lightning's tank top. "Can't I just show you.."  
><em><strong><br>**__**'I don't want to hurt him anymore,**__**  
><strong>__**I don't wanna take away his life,**__**  
><strong>_

"No," the woman said sternly. "I said say it. Her hand rubbed gently against Serah's leg, close to her inner thigh, slow and tortuously.

She closed her eyes and scratched her nails into Lightning's shoulder. Her legs started shaking slowly and as Lightning's hand moved up further, she could feel herself becoming-

"You like this, don't you?" Lightning whispered. Her fingers played with the edge of Serah's shorts before they went back to caressing her thigh.

_**I don't wanna be**__**  
><strong>__**A murderer.'**__**  
><strong>_  
>Serah couldn't speak, she could only squeal. She was bothered and just really wished that Lightning would stop toying with her. She bucked her hips and started biting her lip.<br>_**  
><strong>__**'Our love, his trust,**__**  
><strong>__**I might as well just take a gun**__**  
><strong>__**And put it to his head**__**  
><strong>_  
>Lightning's fingers found their way into the girl's shorts and slipped down, "You can make this so much easier on yourself if you just say what I want to hear.." Inside, and over her center.<p>

"!." Serah lost the ability to stand up and fell backwards, but Lightning quickly caught her. "Lightning!." She gasped as the woman's fingers continuously teased her center. "O-okay!."

_**Get it over with,**__**  
><strong>__**I do t wanna do this**__**  
><strong>__**Anymore.'**__**  
><strong>_

"Hmm..?" Lightning's fingers stopped much to Serah's dismay. "What was that?"

The girl swallowed hard and bit the inside of her cheek. Her eyes closed shut as she tried to steady her breathing. "I-I.." She finally found the strength to stand, and picked herself up from Lightning's arm that was supporting her body. "I uhm.." Her stomach twisted. "I-It's you Lightning.." A dark cloud appeared over her head as she said those words.

_**'I don't wanna do this anymore,'**_

Lightning smirked and pulled her hand from the girl's shorts. "I know you do." She responded and locked her lips with with girl's. She picked her up and walked toward Serah's room, where she laid down on the bed. She broke her lips away from her lips and brushed her cheek with the back of her hand.

Serah laced her fingers around the back of the woman's neck and pulled her back in for a kiss. Lightning bit down on the pinkette's lip, causing her to groan out and part her lips. She took full advantage of this and slipped her tongue into Serah's mouth.

"Mmm.." Serah moaned and flicked her tongue against The woman's, Lightning shuddered and repeated the action but with a much rougher approach.

_**'I don't wanna be the reason why,**__**  
><strong>__**Every time I walk out the door.'**_

Even though they were in the room, Serah could still hear that song playing. That song, the words that were being said, were sinking deep within her mind, it was killing her.

_**'I see him die a little more inside,'**_

She pressed her weight against Lightning and rolled over to where she was on top of the woman. Lightning didn't so much as like this and tried to switch positions but Serah- "no!." The girl growled out and pressed her hands against The woman's shoulders.

Lightning stopped her struggling upon hearing the change in Serah's voice. The girl's eyes looked deeply into her own, almost like she was looking into her soul.

_**'I don't want to hurt him anymore.' **_

The lyrics continued, causing Serah more and more grief.

_'Vanille..'_

She sat up on the woman's stomach and started fondling with the button on her pants until it eventually came undone.

_'Disgusting..'_

_**'I don't wanna take away his life,"**_

She pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it off on to the floor. She leaned her head forward and placed heated kisses down her stomach.  
><em><strong><br>**__**'I don't wanna be,'**_

_'Unfaithful..'__  
><em>  
><em><strong>'A murderer..'<strong>_

Her lips came to a stop at her naval and she scratched her nails hard-not too hard-along the woman's stomach. Lightning gasped and swallowed down a moan that almost escaped. Serah's lips fell lower and her fingers started tugging at Both Lightning's pants and her panties.

"Not that easy." The woman ran a hand through Serah's hair and pulled her head up.

"You're no fun.." Serah said morosely.

"I think we've both had enough of that already." Lightning grabbed Serah's arm and pulled her in her direction. She bit the girl's collar bone and slipped her hands back into her shorts. Serah moan. "I'm ready to be serious."

The younger Farron shifted her hips and reluctantly grabbed hold of Loghtning's hand. She really wanted her to keep going but- "and wh-what makes you think I'm going to let you have me so easily?"

"Because.." She forced the girl's hand away and pushed her against the bed. "I can make you..." She pressed two of her fingers against Serah's opening, teasing it by pushing a finger halfway in.

"Claire!." Serah screamed out and slowly gyrated her hips with the motions of Lightning's hand. She grabbed the woman's wrist to pull her Han away, even though she really didn't want to, but that only made Lightning go in deeper. "O-oh!" Serah panted breathlessly as Lightning's finger pushed deeply inside. Her hips bucked on their own with every thrust.

"Feels good?" Lightning whispered into the girl's ear. She tugged at Serah's shorts and pulled them off. She pressed her thumb against the girl's clit and rubbed it gently in circular motions.

Yea it did it felt more than good to Serah, this was sensual, but she was trying to fight it. She wriggled and squirmed in attempt to pull herself away but Lighting wrapped her arm around her stomach to keep her in place. "Running?" Lightning asked seductively.  
><em><strong><br>**__'Slut..'_

"What!?" Whatever weight Lightning was pushing on her, she quickly pushed it off and sat up. Looking around the room, dr saw no one, but she thought she heard Vanille's voice calling her a-

"Hey.." Lightning grabbed her face, noticing the worry in her eyes.

_'Its your conscious, your guilty conscious. Stop this now Serah..'__'I can't..'__  
><em>  
>She looked at lightning and tackled the woman on to the bed. "It's my turn." She said and started pulling at Lightning's pants again. The woman smirked and pushed the girl back. She wasn't about to make it that easy. The two rolled all over the bed, wrestling, as they tried to see who can get who naked first. Of course Lightning won.<p>

"You're supposed to let me win!." Serah complained, glaring at the woman.

Lightning chuckled darkly as she tossed Serah's bra off on to the floor. "So I can be the naked one?" She looked at Serah who had nothing while she still had her bra and panties. "I don't think so."

Serah glowered at the woman before tackling her against the bed. She grabbed her hands and held them up over her head. "My turn!." She said and pushed her leg between Lightning's. She bucked instantly and and Serah could feel her wetness soaking through her panties. "Uh-huh.." She hummed and brushed her leg against Lightninig's center once again. The woman surpressed her moan and just breathed out heavily.

She brushed her leg there again and received the same action. Lightning was stuck. With Serah holding her down she couldn't move. Serah appeared to find this amusing but she didn't. She was irritated. Nobody was dominant over her. Serah had something else in mind that she wanted to do to Lightning but it meant that she would have to let the woman go, and letting go of her arms, meant Lightning would tackle her.

_'Slut..'_ There it was again.

She wrapped one of her legs over Lightning's and the other under it.

"Serah what are you-hyn!" Lightning breathed in raggedly as the girl rubbed herself against her. Again, Serah moved her his over Lightning's this time they both moaned out. The woman started shifting her hips in motion with the younger pinkette's. Every motion sending sensation through both of them.

Serah released Lightning's arms from their place over her head and pulled her into a fevered kiss. Both of them continued rubbing up against one another, receiving pleasure every time their...made contact. "Claire, Claire!." Serah called out sensually to her sister. She could feel her orgasm nearing. She scratched at Lightning's back.

"Serah." Her hip movements started getting quicker as her climax grew closer and closer. Both Farron sisters held on to one another as their breathing grew extremely jagged.

"Claire!."  
>"Serah!."<p>

Their bodies shook with pure ecstasy as they rode out their orgasm. Serah dropped her head against Lightning's neck and placed a gentle kiss there. Lightning hugged onto Serah as they laid in bed in silence. Lightning kissed the top of Serah's head and took a deep breath. Neither one of them knew what to say.

_'Slut..'_

Serah squeezed her eyes shut tightly and pressed her face into Lightning's chest, an attempt to burry away the shame and disgust she was feeling. She was though, wasn't she? A slut. But nothing could make this horrid feeling go away. She'd done it and now it was there in her conscience. She cheated on Vanille. "Claire.."

'What are you so bent out of shape for? It's not like this is your first time.'

She shook her head and pushed shoved Lightning away from her. Lightning tried not to show it but Serah's actions worried her. "Serah what's.." She cut herself off, something in her mind was telling her no to ask the question she was going to ask.

This was bad, wrong and a lot more. It wasn't her first time cheating but it was the first time in a while that she cheated on someone she really cared for. Lightning being the first. "I'm sorry Claire I just-this isn't right. Nor is it fair to Vanille."

Lightning couldn't even look Serah in the eyes but she caught a glimpse of her expression and wished she hadn't. She couldn't think of a word to say. Really she didn't want to say anything at all. She looked at the clock and she slowly sat up. "7:30." She looked outside the window to see it was getting dark. "Uh-huh..." She mumbled to herself.

"That's it?" Serah frowned, and grabbed the woman's hand but Lightning snatched it away "Claire I know you're mad but would you just-" she didn't want Lighting to go, at least not yet, or ever. She was afraid she'd distance herself from her again.

_'Vanille..'_

"Just hear you out, is that what you're gonna say?" She knew what Serah would say and would rather do without hearing it at all. "Save it."_  
><em>  
>She backed off the woman, she was about to give her a hug but didn't. "Claire don't do this, I just-" Her eyes glimmered with obvious sadness, causing Lightning to feel a little bad but she fought it. The woman finished with putting her clothes on, and headed for the door. "You, love Vanille more." she said with uncertainty in her voice. "If that's it, then don't bother with me."<p>

Serah shook her head as she started putting her clothes back on. She made a mental note to take a shower in a little bit. She had to wash the smell of sex off of her skin. "Lightning just listen to me,"

Lightning walked to the door and when she opened it, Vanille was standing right there. Wow their timing couldn't be any more perfect. "Oh hey there Lightning." Said woman nodded.

"Serah!" The red-head exclaimed and ran to her lover and hugged her. "I missed you all day!."

The pinkette looked at Lightning over the red-head shoulder and mouthed the word _please. _Lightning only shook her head and just walked off.

"I missed you too Vanille.." She lied and hugged her lover tightly and kissed her forehead.

"So," Vanille pulled away, a bright smile stretching across her lips. "How'd it go? You two didn't fight did you?"

"It went.." She hesitated. The way Vanille was just glowing and smiling at her, was tearing her away on the inside. But she wanted so badly to chase after Lightning. "It..it was fine Vanille." She dropped her head and stared down at the floor.

_'Unfaithful..'_

That damn word, that damn song! She shook her head and grabbed Vanille up in a tight embrace. "I love you Vanille." She said, nearly on the brink of tears. She couldn't understand why this had her so torn up.  
><em><br>__'You've cheated before..'_  
><em><br>__'But that was before I-'_"Hey.." Vanille broke away from the girl and Serah, quickly dropped her eyes to the floor. She didn't want the red-head to see her tears. Vanille went to grab her chin but Serah quickly turned her head away. "I-I need some air."

She hugged the girl "I'll be alright. Okay? I'll be right back." She quickly pulled away.

"Serah.." The door opened and shut behind her quickly. That was awkward. Vanille just stood there with a clueless expression on her face. "What, what was that?"

* * *

><p><strong>*Sigh* Lightning Returns came out today but mines is sitting in the damn post office that's literally like right down the street from my house. It got there at 1:45 today yet it didn't come with today's mail. :(<strong>

**UGGGGH! And the worst part is that we are in the middle of a winter storm warning. So I may not get my wonderful copy of that epic game until sometime next week!**

**:'( OH THE AGONY!**

**Oh.. Ahem, sorry about that guys, I uhm.. A-anyways, how did you guys enjoy this chapter!? This one actually came to me easy and I loved it!. But, let me know your thoughts!.**

**see you next chapter!.**

**Ominous over and out!. :)**


	19. Stalked

**Oooooh I love you all! You guys are my motivation to keep this story going. Thank you so much! :) Here, cookies for everyone! Hehe! :p Thanks for all the follows and reviews. It really makes me happy knowing that you guys really like this. And to those just reading as well thanks so much!******

**Well..here you guys are another chapter!******

**While I was writing this one, there were two sections where Noel's Theme played through my mind. While the lyrics in the song don't fit the situation in this story, the melody did. But, yea. I'm going to mark the sections where they start with a ** And when they end you'll see -** ^_^******

**WARNING: Somewhat out of character Lightning. Tried to avoid it as much as I could.****  
><strong> 

**Chapter 19: Stalked.**

**She wasn't sure what she was running from. Her love for Lightning or herself. Serah turned down the next street corner which was just seconds away from the train station. "Lightning!." She called out to the woman who was stepping onto the train. The older pinkette heard the girl but didn't show any reaction to her voice. Serah ran for the train but the doors slid shut before she could slip inside.

"Lightning.." She placed both her hands in the glass and looked her sister in the eyes, melancholy etched deep within her own. She curled her hand into a fist and gently tapped the glass separating the two of them from one another. "Please don't do this to me again.." She laid her head against the glass, earning judged looks from the passengers as well as whispers, and some pointing. "Don't walk out on me again, don't leave me!." She felt her eyes becoming wet and tears started to spill. She started to cry. "I don't want you to go. Please, just stay.."

Lightning watched her sister through the glass. Inside it was tearing her apart to see her this way. A part of her wanted to pull the doors open and hug her, to let her know everything was going to be alright. But she couldn't do that. Instead she shook her head and stepped away from the glass and mixed in with the other passengers on the train.  
><em><br>__'Serah, I love you.'__  
><em>  
>She gasped and closed her eyes tightly as she placed a hand over her ailing heart. She was suddenly regretting that she even admitted that after so long. Confessing to Serah that she still cared for her had to be the worse mistake she made today and probably the most hurtful one. Serah's feelings did not reciprocate. Her feelings were for Vanille. Lightning knew this but thought there was just a small glimmer of hope that Serah would come back to her. "What a fool I was for thinking that.." She said to herself.<p>

The train started to pull off from the station and head for it's next destination. Lightning chanced a glance out the window only to feel the twisting of that organ in her chest. She almost lost her breath completely. Sometimes she wished that she could remove this part from her body since it held so much emotion that she wished she didn't have. Watching Serah through that glass, watching her shatter to pieces because of her actions made Lightning sick. But it was better this way.

"Lightning!." Serah ran along side the train until she came to the end of the platform. She watched and reached out a hand before curling it into a fist and dropping it back to her side. "Cl-Claire.." She whimpered softly. A rumble of thunder sounded between the clusters of grey cumulonimbus in the sky. Lightning was gone once again.

The pinkette sadly plopped down on one of the bench. "Damn.." She cursed to herself and dropped her face into her hands. Everything that happened to day was extremely wrong!. She really wished that Vanille didn't suggest this. Had she just accepted her and Lightning's hatred for one another this wouldn't have occurred. But as wrong as it was, Serah liked it. But her heart was with Vanille, and Vanille only. And it drove Lightning from her life, just as it did two years ago with Lebreau. Serah was really hating herself at this point. This is why she could never love someone. Her love always ended up hurting another.

"I really am a terrible person.."

She cheated on Vanille that was very fresh in her mind and the guilt from that wasn't going away anytime soon. Yet she still wanted to chase after Lightning. Was it really worth it?

_'What about Vanille?'_

"She doesn't deserve this.." An image of the red-head popped into Serah's mind. Her bright glowing smile, her shimmering green eyes that were always full of joy and pure happiness. Vanille was as innocent as they came. The girl had just gotten out of a terrible relationship with that other woman. Scarred physically and emotionally from the amount of abuse she put up with. She never showed it much but Serah knew she was hurting from it. Then here she was, playing with this girl's heart even after learning how fragile she was.

_'What type of person are you..?'_

The last thing she wanted was to see Vanille ruined because of her. She had to stop this. A broken Vanille was a detrimental sight and every time Serah seen it she just wanted to kill herself. "No more Lightning." She said and shook her head. She had to push those feelings away for Vanille's sake. She had to-

_'Hate her..'_

She frowned. How could she? Hate wasn't something that could be turned on and off. It was an emotion developed over time. Even though it wasn't that long ago that those strong feelings of hatred towards the woman were present. She just couldn't find it in her to hate her again. Even if this was the second time she'd left her like this. All she could feel was hurt.-**

Serah turned around and started walking from the train station. It was better this way. Lightning stayed where she was and she stayed here. Seeing one another was just too much. Ligh-

The sound of footsteps behind her grabbed the pinkette's immediate attention. She whirled around quickly to see who it was but no one was there. "Hmm.." She blinked a few times then turned around and continued her walk towards home.

She lowered her eyes to the ground observing the sand covered asphalt while in her thoughts. Lightning obviously noticed they needed to be apart and maybe she needed to as well. She took in a deep breath through her nose then slowly exhaled. Yea it was better this way.

Again she heard the footsteps behind her but they sounded much closer. "Hu-huh.." Serah turned around again, only to see the same thing, nothing, just the beautiful scenery of Bodum, well it wasn't as beautiful with the cloud cover. Serah reached into the back pocket of her shorts, searching for a certain small weapon but it wasn't there. Lightning's knife. Her sister had lent it to her two years ago and told her to carry it wherever she went for protection. Serah usually did but with other problems on her mind she left home without it. The one time she really needed it.

She heard an unfriendly chuckle come from the left side of her where the running footsteps were now coming from. Scared, Serah swiftly turned and started darting through the Bodum streets, not stopping or bothering to look back for any reason. The wind slightly impaired her hearing but she could still hear the footsteps behind, chasing her. She panicked and turned down a street corner where she hid behind one of the street blocks that the Guardian Corps had put out the night before. Serah ducked down and pulled her knees to her chest. The footsteps of the person could still be heard. The pinkette squeezed her eyes shut and covered her mouth and nose to silence her rapid breathing, afraid that whoever was following her would discover where she was hiding. But much to her dismay, that didn't work. The person started walking directly towards where she was hiding.

Serah felt like crying now, she looked around frantically to find a way to escape but there was nowhere to run. She was trapped. She could just jump over the road block and high tail out of here but she might get caught by her stalker. "Please..." She whispered to herself. Hoping the person would not find her.

The footsteps grew closer and closer and Serah felt the blood in her body getting colder.

"What are you doing..?"

Serah's eyes snapped open. She never thought that she would be so relieved to hear this person. The pinkette stood up from her hiding spot and looked at the male, relieved but still not enthused to see him. "I should be asking you the same thing! What kind of game are you playing Hope? Chasing me like that!."

"Wh-what?" Hope raised an eyebrow and scratched the side of his head. "You're delusional. I wasn't chasing you. I was coming from the GC base here and saw you running. Found it suspicious so I followed you." He stated.

"Sus-suspicious!." She huffed. "That's no surprise everything I do in your eyes is either suspicious or wrong. Why can't I be the victim for a change!?"

"Because you're always up to something." He sneered.

She slapped her forehead. "I wasn't up to anything I was running from someone. I was being followed!." She folded her arms across her chest. "Now is your chance to actually do your job for a change. It is your job to keep the citizens safe, you are a Guardian Corps soldier!. Find out who was following me!."

He laughed though nothing was funny. He was mocking the girl. "You want me to help you?" He walked her by. "Not a chance. If anything it was your own guilt chasing you."

"Why do you hate me so much Hope, is it really all because of what I did to Lightning or is it something else? She's alive and always have been. Why are you still lashing out at me? Did I do something to you, or do you really just despise me that much?"

He huffed and kept walking. "Good-bye Serah."

**-xxxxxx-**

The minute the door opened Serah darted inside and pushed the button so the door would shut behind her. After leaving Hope she ran home and didn't stop. The person that was following her before meeting up with the silver haired man had stopped but she want taking any chances.

"Serah!?"

Said girl slid down against the door until she came in contact with the floor. Her eyes locked with the area where the spry red-head had emerged from. "Vanille.." She said with a small smile.

The red-head ran to her lover and hugged her tightly. "I was worried about you." She said frantically. "I called but you left your phone here. Are you okay?"

"I-I'm.." She couldn't bring herself to even answer Vanille. All she felt like doing is crying. She couldn't even look at the girl straight. Not after what she did today. She circled her arms around Vanille's sides and held on to her. "I-I'm fine Vanille. I just needed some air. I was feeling a little..closed..in..here." She said awkwardly. "But I'm fine, alright. So stop worrying."

Vanille smiled and drew back from the pinkette. "So," she started and sat back on her hands. "How do you feel now that you and Lightning are back on good terms again?"

Serah turned her eyes away from the girl and looked down at her own hands. She knew Vanille would ask. And avoiding the question would only make the red-head suspicious. "I-I uhm.." She shrugged. "It feels good..I guess."

"You guess!?" Vanille placed her hands on the pinkette's shoulders. "I half expected you to be a lot more cheery than this. You know." She slanted her lips to the side and shook her head. "Nuh-huh!." She placed both her index fingers at the corners of Serah's lips and pushed them upward, an attempt to get her to smile. But the attempt didn't work. "For the love of Etro," her hands fell I to her lap. "Would you smile?" She giggled. "For me?"

Serah's frown went unchanged. She stared at Vanille's glistening bright emeralds and just wanted to shatter. "Of course.." She said lowly then cracked the most fake and saddening smile in the world. She tried her best to make it appear as real as it possibly could but, she knew she was failing at it.

Vanille smiled and threw herself into Serah's arms. "There!. Now that wasn't so hard now was it!?" She nuzzled into Serah's chest but her happiness suddenly faded away. Something was off about the pinkette. She wanted to ask but she didn't want to feel like she was prying. "So, what did you and Lightning talk about?"

Serah was silent shortly. The truth was right there at the tip of her tongue but it wouldn't come out. Instead a lie replaced it. "Oh uhm, just our feelings about the situation we put each other through. After listening to her side I realized that..I was really the one to blame for the whole thing. So I apologized, well we both apologized and uhm.." She paused. "We're okay now.." Well it wasn't a total lie, but not the full truth either. She sighed and looked down at Vanille, still smiling falsely. "I'm just glad that we finally put everything...behind us."

Vanille nodded his head. "That's right!."

Serah pulled back and stood up from the floor. "Let's go out somewhere.."

"No.." Vanille grabbed The girl's arm. Serah didn't look back at the girl and just kept her eyes straight ahead. "Can we have a moment to ourselves for a change? No being around other people, just us is all I want." She tugged at the pinkette's arm and she fell back against her. "Is that..too much to ask..?" She said, circling her arms around her lover's shoulders and placing two soft kisses to her neck.

Serah shuddered and pulled away immediately. "Vanille I.." She clasped her hand around the part of her neck where the red-head's lips had touched. Her eyes were slightly larger than usual and she started trembling unknowingly. She knew what this was about and knew that Vanille-

The red-head shook her head and looked off elsewhere. For some reason she felt embarrassed, but sad more than anything else. She fidgeted nervously with her fingers and sighed. "Did I do something Serah that you don't want to-" She bit gently onto her tongue unable to speak the last few words of her sentence. "Or maybe it's me?"

Serah shook her head. Vanille had done nothing wrong. Nor was there anything wrong with the girl. Serah wanted to, she did. She always has, ever since the first day she laid eyes on the red-head. But who would have guessed that they would end up the way they were today. Who would have thought that she, Serah Farron, the girl known for sleeping around with just about everyone, would develop feelings for someone else. Someone like Vanille, someone who wasn't-

_'No!.'_

She shook her head.

_'Stop it!.'_

She clamped her hands to the sides of her head.

_'She's not..Lightning.'_

"Dammit.." She whispered.

She just felt that she wasn't in the right state of mind to even touch her lover in that way yet. Look what happened the last time they had sex with each other. Poor Vanille looked like a victim of domestic violence, and she could barely remember a damn thing that happened. Her body shuddered at the memory. She didn't want it to be that way again. Then after messing with Lightning, how could she lay down in the same bed with the red-head and pretend like nothing happened? She couldn't, not anymore. "No Vanille," she said answering after what seemed like an eternity to her lover. "It's not you at all. Okay?" She said and looked at the girl with a small smile. "I just want that moment between us to be..a special one that's all. I don't want to rush it." This lie was actually filled with more truth than the last one but there was still fault in it.

"Oh!?" Vanille's sadness vanished and she was happy once again. Relieved that Serah wasn't distancing herself from her. "So you're saying I'm special." Her smile turned into a large grin. "Hmmmm Serah!?"

Serah rolled her eyes and kissed Vanille's forehead. "You tell me."

Vanille giggled. "I'm sure I know but I want yooou to tell me!." She said gladly as she brushed a stray pink fringe from in front of Serah's eyes.

The pinkette smiled and placed a kissed on the girl's lips before pulling away and standing to her feet. "That should tell you!." She said and sprinted of into her bedroom.

"Wh-what!?" Vanille pouted and ran after the pink haired girl. "That was just a kiss Serah it could mean anything!." She stopped short when she reached the bedroom they shared but Serah wasn't in sight. Vanille clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and folded her arms. "Seraaaaaah!." She took a few steps into the room and took a few glances around. "Ugh, fine. I give up!." She was hardly in the mood for the game of hide-and-go-seek that The pink haired girl seemed to be playing. "You can come out now. I won't bother you anymore." There was no response. "Serah?"

A small cry out, that probably would have gone unheard if Vanille wasn't paying much attention, rang in her ears. The red-head felt goosebumps on her skin and immediately looked towards the bathroom area where the whimper had come from and slowly walked towards the door. "Se-serah...?" She was scared now. Her stomach twisted in a thousand knots and her breathing patterns had increased with the rapid beating in her chest. Unable to wait any longer, Vanille quickly pushed open the bathroom door. "Serah!." And someone else.

The person released the pinkette and hopped onto the window sill off to the right, the window they had entered to get into the home. They quickly looked at Vanille before jumping outside the window.

Serah leaned up against the wall coughing and wheezing. Trying to catch her breath after nearly being choked to death. "It was-it-was...she tried..she-" She tried to speak but she was too terrified to get her words out.

Vanille knew good and well who it was. It didn't take a scientist to figure out that that person was Fang. This was getting way out of hand and she knew that. Something had to be done. She could have killed Serah just now. Yet, she didn't want to handle the situation in a violent manner. Telling Serah she wanted to do something would only result in that. This wasn't the pinkette's problem it was her own. "Serah.." She walked towards her lover but she extended her arm out, making Vanille stop short.

"I-I can't-can't.." She shook her head while still taking deep breaths. "I can't deal with this any longer Vanille. I-I'm sorry b-but she, Fang nearly took my life.." She took one more breath then exhaled, finally having control over her breathing again. "Had you come a-any later. I probably wouldn't be here. Something has to be done. If not she's gonna kill one of us.."

"I'll talk to her!." Vanille spoke out quickly, earning an irritated side glance from the pinkette.

"Like she's gonna listen to you Vanille." Serah spat out. "Com'on. I get it, you don't wanna see anything happen to her but, if something isn't done, Fang will see to it that something is! Meaning one of us will end up seriously hurt or worse!."

"Serah, please I-"

"No!." She pushed off the wall and walked out of the bathroom. It was probably Fang that was following her home earlier. "I think she's stalking me too. I didn't tell you this but I was being followed on my way home, and I think it was, no I know it was Fang. I'm not even sure how she got in here." She looked outside her window. Fang had to be pretty desperate to climb three floors up to get into their home. "Yeah, Vanille I don't feel safe. I'm going to see Gadot and Snow. This is way out of hand." She stepped to her bed side and opened the night stand drawer, grabbing a small object and placing it into her back pocket.

"Serah no please, don't do this just give me the chance to talk to her!."

The pink haired girl just tuned the girl out and walked for the front door. Her mind was made up and she wasn't changing it. "Sorry Vanille, you'll probably be mad at me for a while, but I really don't care." She spoke. She didn't mean for it to sound harsh but it did.

Vanille grabbed Serah's arm just before the girl could walk out of the door. "What if it was Lightning huh? What if it were Lightning doing something like this would you throw your friends on her like this. Or would you be like me. Put yourself in my position for a few seconds Serah."

The pinkette huffed. Yeah she'd probably be just as naive as Vanille was and she did have a point but Lightning wasn't crazy. She'd never do something like this. Lightning would isolate herself and deal with it more differently. "Lightning wouldn't do something like this Vanille so that question isn't even worth answering." She yanked her arm from Vanille's grasp and stormed out the door.

"Serah wait!." But she was gone. Vanille had to do something, and quick. She had to warn Fang.

_-_**xxxxxx-**

**Lightning entered her home and kicked her shoes off to the side. The door slid shut and the ex-soldier walked straight for the living room, turning on no lights, nothing. She just dropped her body across the sofa and stared off out the window across from her, watching the cluster of dark clouds gather in the sky. A flash of her namesake peeked out from the ebony masses. Low thunder roared right after.

Lightning sighed and closed her eyes. Taking in deep breaths she tried to clear away all of her thoughts from today but it wasn't exactly working the way she had hoped. The more she tried to push them away, they just kept coming back. The less she wished to think about Serah the more she thought about her.

_'I'm sorry Claire I just-this isn't right. Nor is it fair to Vanille.'_

She cringed at the memory if those words. Her eyes shut tightly and she clenched her hand into a fist. She was a fool for going over there in the fire place. Maybe Vanille was right. She should have just stayed away. Out of Serah's life. She wouldn't have to deal with all these feelings and emotions that she wished never existed, these thoughts. Lightning was near ready to to just take a bullet to the head, just to escape these overpowering emotions. As strong as she was she could never deal with emotions. Especially when they involved Serah.

First she lost to Lebreau now Vanille. What was it about the red-head that drew Serah to her more?

_'Lightning just listen to me,'_

Uh-oh. She was thinking way too deep into this. She pulled herself up into a sitting position on the sofa and dropped her he's into her knees.  
><em><br>__'Please don't do this to me again. Don't walk out on me like this again. Don't leave me!.'_

"Serah.." But she did. She left her sister just as she had done before. And she didn't care either. She left her there watching as she begged and pleaded for her not to go. Could that be it? Maybe her lack of emotion, her coldness is what draws Serah away from her. It had to be. But what did it matter? She was with Vanille and her mind seemed pretty made up about it too. Her feelings held no place in Serah's heart anymore. Only the red-head mattered.

_'I love you Serah..'_

She felt like punching herself in the face. She felt like an idiot. She curled her hand into a fist and slammed it against the coffee table in front if her. There was a loud shatter and the sound of glass shards clinking against the floor. Lightning's fist hovered in place where the table once was, blood dripped from her hand where small shards of glass had gotten stuck into the skin there, yet it didn't faze her. She was already suffering from the pain inside.

There was a knock at the door but she ignored it. She already knew who it was and didn't feel like being bothered at the moment. Company from anyone would only irritate her even further. "Hope go away.." She tried to speak as normally as she could but her emotions were causing her façade to waver and crumble away slowly.

"Hmm..?" The male stood on the other side and knocked again. "You alright in there Light? Just wanted to check on you is all." He said waiting for the woman to answer. Lightning was the only one he cared about in the world and always wanted to make sure nothing ever happened to her. "Light..?"

The pink haired woman didn't respond at first. Her bleeding hand finally fell back to her side and her icy hues stared blankly at the tan wooden floors. She really had nothing to say, which wasn't much of a surprise but she wasn't herself at all. Without Serah she felt like the world around her was ending. What was the point of-

She quickly sprung up off the sofa and gaited over towards the window that showed the view of the beautiful city. What was the point of even living any longer? Lightning's breath caught in her throat and she leaned her body against the window. Serah was the only reason she wen on living in the first place. But that reason had withered away. She needed, nor wanted her any longer. The pink haired woman scoffed and tensed her hand into a fist against the window. She had..Vanille now.

"Checking on me?" Lightning chuckled dryly. "I'm not a child Hope. I don't need you looking after me like one. I said I'm fine. Now leave!." She said harshly, then took a breath. "Besides, it won't change or do anything. She said to herself.

"Mmmph," He blinked then stepped back away from the door. "You're right. You're not, and I apologize. I just want to make sure you're alright. You know? You haven't been yourself lately and I'm just worried Light." He frowned. "The last thing I want is for you to.."

The front door slid open and Lightning stood in front of the boy, glaring down at him, though it didn't faze Hope in the slightest, he just smiled. "Oh? And What do you think I'm going t do hmm?" She spoke in a sarcastic tone. "Kill myself?"

Hope laughed. Maybe he was being a little over cautious about her. "I certainly hope not. I guess you are fine then." He chuckled.

"I told you I was.."

"Right." He responded. "Well I'll leave you alone then."

_'Alone..'_

Lightning twitched a bit at that word.

Hope turned and waved to the woman. "I'll see ya later Light!."

_'No Hope..wait._' She absently reached out to grab the male's arm but failed.

'What the hell..what the hell was that?'

She growled lowly and walked back into her home. Was she that desperate for company? Just to avoid being _alone._ Lightning shuddered. Being alone never bothered her so much until now. Her eyes gazed around the darkness of her home.

The darkness..

The loneliness..

Lightning closed her eyes and quickly rushed to her room, shutting the door behind her. But that didn't solve anything, it was still there,

The darkness..

The loneliness..

The silence..

And the hole in her heart..

Lightning slid down against the door and dropped her head against her knees, while clamping her hands together behind her head, ignoring the fact that her hand was still injured.

It was all screaming at her. All of it was becoming too overwhelming. She thought she could handle anything but this..this was the one thing that she could not. Lightning felt like she was going to snap.-**

**-xxxxxx-**

So maybe going out by herself wasn't the smartest thing in the world. But she was so shaken up when she ran out that she wasn't in her right state of mind. Common sense would have told her to call Snow and Gadot instead of wandering around the streets at night. But she wasn't nearly as worried this time as she was before. At least she had Lightning's knife with her. She didn't feel like anyone was following her either. Though she couldn't help but feel like there were eyes on her at every corner. Paranoia maybe? But it didn't matter, she was at the NORA bar now.

Serah pushed open the door and the bell rang. Maqui along with the other NORA members quickly turned around to greet her.

"Hey Serah!." They all said in unison.

The pinkette gave a half smile and waved at all of them. "Uhm hey guys, Snow Gadot I need-" Serah's eyes caught a glimpse of someone else just on the other side of Snow. A familiar face. The pinkette rubbed the area around her own neck, touching the sore area where the fresh red marks were very visible. Suddenly every part if her body started to hurt out of nowhere. She swallowed hard as the person turned around in the stool to face her. The pinkette froze completely.

"Hey there, Serah." Fang said, with the darkest smirk stretching along her lips.

"I uhm.." Serah remained still. Her fear of this woman alone with the anger and hatred she felt towards her was all building up to a head at this moment. She wanted to say something but she was just too scared. "Why's...why's..sh-she..."

"Something wrong, Serah." Fang asked with feigned concern.

The pinkette felt like she was going to faint at any moment. Just hearing the woman speak sent unfriendly vibrations through her body. While she knew Fang wasn't going to do any harm to her in front of her friends, her presence alone was enough to make Serah wanna run away like a scared chocobo.

Fang finished her drink and stood up from the stool she was sitting in. "Well it's been fun guys but I have ta run." She stretched her arms over her head and started walking for the door. "I'll see you guys another time." As she reached the door, she walked unusually close to the pinkette who was still standing at the door, terror struck. Fang smirked at the girl and laughed lowly. The fear the girl had was amusing to her. She leaned next to the girl's ear and whispered. "You better be scared, next time you won't be so lucky." Her fingers glided gently along the girl's neck. She looked over her shoulder at Snow and the others before leaving.

**And that's that for now! :D**

**I finally got my copy of LR but I must say that game is super complex! I've started over twice already! :(**

**Anyway, again thanks lots to all of you!**

**Until next chapter, laterz!**


	20. Done

**HI GUYS! :D**

**Here ya go here ya go! ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20: Done.<strong>

"Oh-hoho!." Gadot started as he nudged the arm of the blond male sitting next to him. "What was that about there Serah, you and Fang there have something going between the two of you, huh?"

Snow finally turned fully in the stool. Smiling at first, and ready to tease Serah along with his friend, but didn't. The smile on his face immediately disappeared when he came in contact with the pinkette's current expression. "Serah?"

Said girl flinched for a second before shaking off whatever fear that struck her upon coming in contact with Fang. "H-huh. Oh uhm.." She parted her lips to speak but no words passed over them. She could feel her body trembling and her heart just racing away in her chest.

"Hey.." Snow stood from the stool and walked to the pinkette's side. He could feel the trembling of her body when he placed his hand on her shoulder. Now he was really concerned. "Serah what's wrong?" None of it started until Fang walked pass her. Now she looked like she had seen a ghost or something equivalent. "Serah, did Fang do something to you?"

"Wh-what.." She stammered. "Uh-uhm." That's what she came here to do in the first place, tell Snow and Gadot about Fang's constant harassment upon her and Vanille, but now she was at lost for words. Too scared to even speak the woman's name now. "I-I uhm..n-no Fang and I..she just." Serah rubbed the sore area of her neck and lowered her head to hide it from Snow. Though she wasn't sure if he'd seen it already or not. "She's just intimidating is all..I've ran into her a few nights at the NORA night club and she's quite..aggressive." She said lowly.

"Uh-huh.." Snow wasn't at all convinced. He remembered the day when Serah told him that Fang had attacked her and Vanille on the beach. He wanted to pry, but she looked too terrified to really talk about anything at this time. "If you say so, well maybe you should steer clear of her then." He suggested. He squeezed the girls shoulder gently and she looked up at him. Snow nodded his head and Serah did just the same. A smile followed.

"Alright guys, I'm gone for the night." Snow stood from the counter and stretched his arms up over his head, letting out a loud obnoxious groan behind it. "I'm heading up to the night club for the evening, gotta make sure everything is alright on that end."

"Yeah, I'm coming with ya." Gadot responded. "Need some type of muscle to handle the ones that get out of hand ya know!." The bulky man said, slamming his fist against his palm.

"I'm sure they're fine without you," Lebreau said with a laugh. "You're not that intimidating you know?" The brunette chuckled again.

Serah laughed a little bit.

The fiery haired male glared. "Heeey!." He huffed. "My presence strikes fear into the hearts of others!."

"Oh yeah..." The brunette spoke dryly. "I'm shaking.."

"Grr..you're a jerk!." He said and left out the door behind Snow.

Lebreau shook her head and picked up a shot glass from the dish drain and began with drying the small object. For a brief moment she was very focused on what she was doing until her concentration was broken when she realized Serah staring off into space. The brunette woman blinked and sat the glass down. She placed the dish towel over her right shoulder and folded her arms across her chest. "Something bothering you Farron?" She said and arched her left eyebrow.

Serah snapped from her trance and shook her head a bit. "Hmm.." Her eyes rolled towards the brunette who was standing there staring at her. She had no idea what for either. She heard her say something but her mind was elsewhere and she didn't get a word she said. "I'm sorry. What?" She said blinking slowly. Her hand absently grazed at her sore neck and she shuddered.  
>Lebreau noticed her actions and was immediately concerned. "Alright Serah.." She sighed and hopped up on the bar top and sat down. "What's going on?"<p>

"Nothi-" the girl stopped herself in the middle of her own sentence. "It's.." She sighed. She'd rather share her feelings with someone else. Why did it have to be Lebreau? She hated letting out anything around this woman. But keeping all of this frustration and anger built up inside was gnawing and clawing at her. It was tearing her to pieces from the inside out. "It's F-fang.." She said, though her voice cracked. The girl's hand curled into a fist against the counter before banging it against the marble surface a few times. "She's..she's trying to kill me."

"What!?" Lebreau felt a scary chill run through her body.

"She's trying to hurt Vanille too.." She lowered her head.

The brunette swallowed hard. "Wh-why..?"

"Well," She started. "Vanille and Fang have history with one another. Apparently, they dated for some time but Fang was a very abusive person, which ultimately lead to Vanille leaving her. The night I first met Vanille was actually her first time out of Fang's clutches. Then the two of us got close. Well closer than close..and Fang hates it. She sees Vanille as_ her's_. And if she can't have her, no one can." She finished off and frowned. "Ever since, I've been getting attacked by her, even in my own home. I'm scared Lebreau. Not just of her, but of losing Vanille."

Lebreau stiffened at hearing those words. Her heart nearly stopped as well. She gasped lightly. "Wh-what's there to be afraid of?"

Serah picked up her head and shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid. It's just after all this time," She picked up her hand and stared at the beautiful amethyst crystal ring on her finger. The light reflecting off of it gave the small piece of jewelry a small glimmer. "I finally found someone that I really care for and that I love, and..someone is trying to take her away from me." She bought her hand back to the counter surface. "It's not fair."

Not only did she have problems with Fang but she also had the affair with Lightning hanging over her head. She hoped that it would never come to light and just stay in the dark. But that lingering guilt was sitting heavy in the pit if her stomach.

"Lebreau, I had sex with Lightning earlier today.." She blurted out. And it made her feel a little better just being able to admit it to someone. She looked at the brunette, waiting for some kind of response from her. She was half shocked that she didn't give an over dramatic reaction. She didn't give any reaction. "Lebreau, did you hear what I said?"

Lebreau was quite. Her eyes were too focused on the ring that the pinkette had around her finger. There was no doubt in her mind that it was an-

she shook her head and took a deep breath. That wasn't possible. It could just be a promise ring or something like that. Serah would never agree to-

She chuckled lowly at herself. That was a silly thought. Serah being engaged? She couldn't stay with one person. So what would she be doing getting engaged? "No." She said aloud, grabbing the pink haired girl's attention. Her facial expression grew blank but her eyes reflected anxiety and misery. She almost looked as if she was ready to burst out into tears. No, she was feeling that way as well.

"Hello!. Lebr-"

"So, the two of you are engaged?" She had to ask. She would regret it otherwise if she didn't.

"Wh-wha!? Huh? Oh!." Serah quickly snatched her hand from the counter and hid it in her lap. "I-uhm.." She looked the woman in her eyes momentarily but instantly snapped them away. She's seen that look on the brunette before. That day at her home when she said all those hurtful things to her. "Lebreau.."

"Never mind." She shook her head. "I didn't mean-"

"Yes.." Serah responded. "Yes we are.."

Lebreau felt her heart skip beats at Serah's confession. "Wh-what.." She managed to whisper out. "Wh-why..?"

Serah couldn't even bring herself to talk anymore. She should have just left behind Gadot and Snow to avoid this conflict, knowing Lebreau's still lingering feelings towards her. This was a mistake. "Lebreau I'm sorry. I know I've never said this to you but you deserve to hear it. I've done a number of unfair things to you, that one sorry or a thousand sorrys cannot fix. But I'd rather say it now than not say it at all." She stood from her seat at the bar counter and took a few steps back. "I know it upsets you seeing me with Vanille, just as it would probably hurt you seeing me with anyone else. But, you left me..remember?"

"I know that Serah, but it was out of anger and jealousy. And it's not entirely my fault you know. But I still want you. I don't care about anything else, hell I don't even care if you mess around anymore, I just-"

"Stop it.." Serah spoke out. "Stop.." It was crazy the things love can do to a person. It'll make them either a better person, a terrible person, or in Lebreau's case, desperate. That's what it looked like in Serah's eyes by the things she was saying. It was just utterly ridiculous and made her feel sorry for the brunette. "You're just blind right now, Lebreau. But it's time that you open your eyes and finally except that there will never be anything between us ever again." Serah stated very calmly to the broken up brunette. "I'll always care about you because you cared for me during one of my darkest moments. But friends, is all we can and will be.."

She hated it and Serah could see it all in the brunette's eyes. Every word she spoke tore the brunette to shreds and left a permanent scar on her heart. Lebreau nodded and a tear trickled down her cheek from her left eye. She just wanted to crawl up under a rock and die right now she felt so bad. Why did it have to come to this? Why was she the one left to suffer. The emotional pain was so great it almost felt like physical pain, like her heart was being repeatedly stomped on. She breathed in slowly and clutched her hand over the center if her chest. "Okay.." She said through small short breaths while lowering her head.

"I'm sorry again Lebreau for ever hurting you. But, it's better this way." The girl looked towards the door and slid from the bar stool, but the brunette grabbed onto her arm, stopping her from going anywhere. "Lebreau-"

"Just one thing.." She said so quietly that Serah almost didn't hear her. She pressed one if hands against the pinkette's cheek and brushed her thumb along her bottom lip with the other. Serah felt herself blushing at the action and quickly pulled away. "I-I got to go Lebre-"

But the brunette yanked her back. "Just.." She traced the lining of the pink haired girl's lips with her index finger. "One.." She leaned over the counter and pressed her forehead against Serah's. "Last.." She moaned out purposely, knowing what her sensual sounds would do to the pinkette, then she ran her tongue along her own upper lip. "Kiss..Serah." She moaned again, softly.

Serah shuddered. Why was she doing this? Lebreau was acting like this on purpose. But she wanted to do it now. "A kiss..is that what you want?" She flicked away a piece of the brunette's hair and cupped one of her cheeks. "Fine.." Serah closed her eyes and began leaning in for the girl's lips. Lebreau mimicked her actions. Just seconds before their lips could touch, Instead Serah moved away and placed the kiss on to Lebreau's forehead. "Nice try." The girl chuckled and stepped away from the counter.

"Tease.." Lebreau glared.

"You started it!." She winked at the brunette and stuck her tongue out.

Lebreau laughed. Some of her pain had faded but a great deal of it was still there. It was going to take a while.

* * *

><p>"Why do you keep doing this!?" Vanille's voice cracked to the person on the other side of the phone.<p>

"Doing what exactly?" The woman said laxly.

"Stop playing around Fang you know what I'm talking about. This isn't funny."

"Who's laughin'?"

Vanille sighed with obvious frustration. "Fang stop this. If you don't then Serah is going to-"

Fang let out a loud obnoxious laugh that made Vanille pull the phone away from her ear. "You think I'm afraid of what that girl is going to do to me? Hah! She doesn't even have enough guts to look me in the eye. And you think I'm scared of Serah?" She snickered. "What's she going to do, push me?" She laughed out loud again. "It's simple Vanille, you come back to me, and I'll leave Serah alone. Keep refusin', and well, the pink haired broad suffers the consequences."

The red-head gasped quietly and bit her lip. "Why are you doing this to me Fang..?" Her emerald orbs enlarged and they glistened with sadness. "Why..?"

Fang smirked and pulled the phone away from her ear for a second.

A knock at the front door startled the already shaken red-head. She looked towards the door as another knock followed behind the first one, but she did not move. "F-fang..answer me.." There was another knock but it was louder and much more violent.

"Fang!." She cried out nearly terrified.

"Because you're mine.." Fang said before finally hanging up.

_BANG!__  
><em>_BANG!__  
><em>_BANG!_

Vanille kept her eyes glued on the door. But she was too scared to move. "F-fang, go away!." She shouted out weakly.

"Fang?" He laughed a little bit "No, it's me Snow. Open up will ya?"

"Snow.." She couldn't be more relieved. Quickly she rushed to the door and opened it. "Why are you knocking like a maniac!?" Her heart felt like it was in her throat right now. "You scared me.."

"Sorry about that." He plopped down on the sofa and propped his feet up. "Wasn't sure if you were awake or not. Had to make sure you heard me."

"Yeah well you could have called you know..?" The red head sat down across from the blond male and laid her head in her lap. "If you're looking for Serah she's not here, actually she stepped out to-"

"I know she's not here." He interrupted. "She's at the bar, I seen her before I left. I needed to talk to you, Vanille."

"So you know then huh.." The girl said sadly as she picked up her head, a frantic expression on her face as she stood up from her spot on the sofa and dashed over to the huge blond. "You're not gonna hurt her are you? Fang I mean. Please don't!."

"Wh-what?" Perplexity etched deep into the male's face. An eyebrow raised and his lips parted slightly, Vanille can easily tell he had no idea what she was talking about. "What's this all of a sudden Vanille? Why would I want to hurt Fang?"

_'Uh-oh..I said too much?'_

"I uhm..I..I?" She chuckled. "I.." She flashed a smile and nudged the male's arm. "Just kidding! Hehe! You should have seen your face!." She bounced up from the floor and turned her back to him.

_'Whaaaaat?'_ Snow was even more confused now. What the hell was that about? Just a second ago she looked like she was about to burst into tears, now she's smiling and joyful.. "Uhm.." He smiled back and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, haha guess the jokes on me huh..heh."

Vanille was just glad she dodged that bullet. Serah obviously didn't tell Snow anything about Fang. But if that's true, then what was he doing here? Vanille turned to the male again and clasped her hands together at her chest. "So, what brings you here?" She asked and took her spot back on the sofa.

"Well, I'm worried about Serah. When she came to the bar earlier she looked..terrified. Well after Fang left that is. There something between those two?"

"No!." She said right away. "Not that I know of. But she was there?!" Vanille shuddered.

Snow nodded. "Yeah she had a few drinks then left after Serah came in. Serah looked like she wanted to tell me something but she was too scared. Which is why I came to you. But she also let me in on something else about you, her, and Fang. What's going on?

Maybe he did know after all!. Serah probably sent him over here and he's not telling her. "I don't know.." Vanille lied. "Well nothing..nothing that I know anyway..I-I'm sure it's nothing though."

"Nothing huh.." He stood up. "Then why's Fang attacking you guys?" His eyes drifted towards Vanille who looked to be a little shaken up herself. He walked towards the girl and rested his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not going to hurt you Vanille, relax. I just want to get to the bottom of this. I don't want to see you or Serah hurt in any way. So if someone is bothering either of you, I want to know so I can handle the situation."

That's what she was afraid of, him _handling_ the issue. It wouldn't be handled the way she wished it to. Snow and whoever else with him would hurt Fang. Not because of her but mainly because of Serah. She didn't know how deep his feelings ran for Serah, but she could tell that he'd do everything he could to protect her from harm, even if it meant killing someone.

"Nothing..Snow. It's nothing." She never really considered it before but she was really thinking about just leaving Serah now. It would be better for the both of them. The heartache that would come along with it would be agonizing but with time she knew she'd get over it. That way she'd know that the pinkette would be alright. She wouldn't have to worry about Fang terrorizing her anymore and she can live without having to look over her shoulder all the time. Besides, Vanille's felt like a burden since the day she had met Serah. Now her psychopathic ex-girlfriend just added to the weight. She shouldn't have to suffer like this. "Nothing you need to worry about, and Serah won't have to much longer either.."

"Vanille what are you talking about?"

"I can't keep doing this to her. It's my fault that Fang keeps bothering with us. I just won't listen.."

"So Fang _is _causing the two of you trouble. What's she doing Vanille!?"

She shook her head. "Nothing Snow, don't worry about it, the sooner I leave the quicker this will be all over."

"So that's it." He stood from the sofa and walked over to the girl. He knelt down in front of her and grabbed hold of her arms gently. "You're just going to walk out on Serah like that. I thought you love her, but you're doing this? Running away? That's cowardice Vanille."

"I'm not running I'm protecting her." She retaliated.

"From what? You leave now Vanille, Serah's going to be crushed."

Her eyes fell to the floor. She knew that. But She'd get over it. Hurting Serah isn't something she intended to do. The thought alone males her want to just die but- "She has you.."

"But it's not me she wants. It's you. It won't matter whether I'm there or not if you leave. Serah loves you.." He tried to stress.

"But Fang she-"

"I'll handle Fang alright-"

"No, you're gonna hurt her."

"I know it's not what you want Vanille but she's hurting you and Serah. And you willing to throw away your happiness because of her is unfair. I have to do something." He explained.

"Snow please.." She begged. "If anything happens to her I won't be able to forgive myself.."

"Yeah," He walked towards the front door as it opened. "And if something happens to Serah, I won't forgive _myself_.."

"Snow..?" Serah stepped into her home just as said blond was exiting. "What are you-"

"Don't worry Serah," He said and looked over his shoulder at the pinkette. "I'm going to_ take care_ of your problem right now." He said and..

"Snow what are you-" The door slid shut behind him and Serah turned to face Vanille. The pink haired girl flinched a bit when she came in contact with her lover's current expression. "Wh-what?" She turned and looked towards the blank television screen.

"You happy with yourself now..?" She asked her lover.

"Huh?" Serah raised an eyebrow. "Happy with myself about what, Vanille what are you talking about? More importantly, what was Snow doing here?"

Vanille gasped and her eyes grew even sadder. "So you're going to stand there and act like you don't know what I'm talking about Serah, really!?" The red said, raising her voice at her lover.

"What the," Serah was extremely confused, so confused that the fact Vanille was yelling at her didn't even faze her. "Okay, it's obvious that I'm missing something here, can you please tell me why you're so angry at me?"

"It's your fault!." The red head blurted out. "You told Snow about Fang and now he's on his way to do Pulse know's what to her!."

Serah had to laugh a little bit but she stopped when she realized it was only fueling the red-head's anger. She cleared her throat and straightened her expression. "Vanille I didn't tell Snow anything, I mean, I won't lie I was going to but, something happened and I got completely side track and-"

"You're lying.." Vanille sighed.

"Woah.." Serah was taken aback by her words, even hurt. "Vanille how could you-"

"Snow was here, he told me that you told him that Fang was bothering us!." She shouted out. "Now he's gonna.." She trailed off and lowered her head. "I..this..this is too much. Serah I think we should just, I think we need to stop this.."

"Vanille.." She shook her head. "So what are you saying..?"

The red-head looked up at the girl then off somewhere else to avoid contact with the saddened eyes of her lover. "I'm saying that.." She reached out and took hold of Serah's hand. Her fingers wrapped around the finger she had placed the ring on and slipped the piece of jewelry off. She looked down at the glimmering amethyst accessory then placed it in the palm of the pinkette's hand. "We can not..Serah this isn't working." She stepped away. "_We_ are not working.."

Serah's eyes remained on the ring. She heard what Vanille said and understood what she said but her heart is what couldn't fully comprehend the situation that was unfolding. Vanille wanted to leave her. Just like before. "You.." That was all she was able to say. Anything else she had planned to say slipped away. She clutched onto the ring in her hand for a few seconds then threw it to the floor out of anger. The piece of jewelry clinked against the floor and rolled off under the coffee table. "Y-you..you don't mean that. You're just saying that because you're mad.."

"No Serah, I mean it. I can't do this, if we continue on with this then Fang-"

"I don't care about Fang, Vanille!." Serah ran to the red head and hugged her. "And neither should you.."

"Serah I'm sorry -I"

"No. No!" Serah grabbed on to Vanille's arm, falling to her knees as she did. "Don't do this to me please. I love you.." Serah couldn't count how many times she's used those three words since her and Vanille has had this big problem with Fang. But she meant it every time she's spoke it. And it's always seemed to help the situation and ease Vanille's mind even. But for some reason, she was getting this bad vibe in the pit of her stomach that was telling her that it wasn't going to work this time. "Vanille.."

"I love you too Serah which is why I think this is best I-"

"Don't you see!?" The pinkette interrupted. "This is what she wants, Fang wants this. She just wants to control you why don't you see that!? I know she scares you Vanille. She scares me too which is why I would get someone else to stand to her for me before I ever would, but you don't see me leaving you because of her threats." She wrapped her arms around the red-head's sides and hugged onto her tightly. "Don't let her ruin us this way Vanille, stop letting her control you.."

"B-but she said she's going to hurt you if I don't leave. Serah I walked in on her nearly choking you to death. Do you really expect me to wait for something even worse to happen?" The vision of that dream she had several days ago popped into her mind. A bloody Serah lying on the ground, stating up at her with almost lifeless eyes and a weak smile.

_'You happened..'_

Vanille shivered. She still couldn't figure out what that dream symbolized or what the hell it meant. But what struck her the most was that behemoth. "Serah it's, I just don't think that you should have to go through this, Fang trying to hurt you, you shouldn't have to deal with this type of burden."

"Burden? Vanille don't be silly. I've never thought of you as such and never will."

"Serah.." She pulled away gently and Serah slumped down onto the floor. "I need to Serah I just..I don''t want anything to happen to you, so this way is the best. Not just for me but for the both of us.."

"Vanille.." She started to cry. "Please.."

The doorbell at the front rang and Serah was the first to spring up. "Is, is that her!?" She asked looking over at the red-head, but Vanille only shook her head. "N-no Serah she-"

"Go away Fang!." She shouted at the door even after the red-head told her otherwise. "She's not going with you!." She said then slammed her fist against the door.

The door slid open much to her dismay but she was relieved that it wasn't the woman. However she wasn't at all happy to see, "Wh-what, Hope?" She pushed the button to shut the door but the silver haired male stooped it by placing his hand in front of the sensor. "You're not welcome here go away!."

"We can't talk?" he asked rudely and walked in anyway.

Serah shook her head. "Oh you want to talk to-" She huffed. "No, Hope. What part of I don't like you don't you get? Just leave me alone!. Vanille and I are having a discussion." She pointed to the door. "Get out!."

Hope folded his arms and quirked an eyebrow. He looked at Vanille noticing the distressed expression on her face, and then he glanced at the pinkette and discovered something that he didn't a moment ago. Why was she crying? He blinked a few times then smirked, reveling in this sight. "What are you crying for?"

"I'm not crying!." She said and quickly wiped her eyes. "Go away!."

Hope ignored the pinkette and looked to Vanille who was moving closer towards the door. "I'm sorry Serah.." They both heard the girl speak. Serah's eyes grew to a larger size as she watched the red-head. "Vanille.." She looked back at Hope who was watching the scene and looked to be very amused by the situation. The pinkette, didn't want to entertain him but she didn't want Vanille to leave either. She slowly gaited towards the girl who was halfway outside the door already. "Vanille you don't have to go. I-if getting away from Fang is what you want then fine, let's leave, get out of Bodum, out of Cocoon I'll do anything, just," She wrapped her arms around her lover and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Just don't leave me.."

"Serah.." Vanille hugged back then kissed the pinkette's cheek before pulling away. "I know this is hurting you, and it's hurting me even worse, but I know you'll be okay. You'll find someone much better than me and-"

"But I don't want anyone else, I want you."

"Heh, what did you do this time huh?" Hope commented while listening to the conversation between the two. "You always chase people away from you."

Serah ignored Hope's comments. "Vanille, just..stay"

"She's not going to listen to you.." Hope added. "I know I wouldn't."

"I'm sorry.." She pulled away from Serah though she didn't wish to, knowing just how much it was breaking the pinkette on the inside. She knew this girl was going to be destroyed and scarred by this for a long time, but Vanille felt it was better this way. She'd rather her suffer from a broken heart rather than seeing Fang try to take the life from her. "I love...you.." She whispered. Her hands slipped from Serah's grasp and she quickly turned, running from the girl's home.

"Vanille!." Serah called out. She ran behind her but the red-head was much faster than she had thought, and was getting further and further away from her. "Vanille.." She stopped and fell to her knees in the street. She reached her arm out, watching the girl until she was out of sight. "Vanille no.."

"VANILLE!." She shouted loudly and broke down in the middle of the street.

Hope chortled and walked up behind the pinkette. He chuckled lightly and shook his head from side to side. "Well I didn't expect to witness something like this but I'll admit, I'm glad I did. How's it feel?"

The pinkette stood from the ground but kept her head down. What he had to say had little to no effect on her. His presence didn't even bother her as much as it usually did. "Would you just leave me alone for a change. Every time you come around you just want to rub salt in my wounds.." Her eyes ran over with tears that continuously splashed against the ground. "What do you want from me Hope?"

"Hmph.." He showed no sympathy towards the girl even though she was in a state of sadness. "To disappear. I want you to disappear. So people like Vanille, and Lightning can stop being hurt by you.."

"I didn't-" She sighed. She was going to explain to him that she had done nothing to Vanille, but it would be a waste of her breathe. Lightning however was a different story. She laid with her then afterwards told her she wanted to be with Vanille. She wasn't sure how she took it but knowing Lightning she's probably hurting pretty badly but is keeping it to herself. Serah laughed sadly and walked passed Hope as she headed back to her home. She stopped briefly. "Well, maybe you'll get what you want sooner than you think.." she said morosely.

* * *

><p>It seemed every time she thought everything was going to be alright, everything took turns for the worse. She arched her back against the cool metal pole that stood at the center of one table that was crowded by nothing but a bunch of hungry and sickening dogs that whistled and howled at her.<p>

Nothing good ever lasted when it came to her. She was foolish and stupid for even believing that such a thing could be. The muscles in her chest constricted and it was almost hard for her to breathe. She choked back a distressful groan and replaced her expression of melancholy with a sadistic smirk.

She rose her arms up over her head and laced them around the pole. Quickly, but with slow provocative movements, she dropped her hips and swayed them from side to side. The crowd roared with excitement. Bills found their way up on the table and showered down around Serah's petite figure. She rose from her position and threw her left leg around the pole, and spun around it a few times.

She felt the constriction in her chest again. This time a small whimper came from the back of her throat. All of this, none of it was done without feeling the endless pain burning within her heart. She hated it, but at the same time she loved it, it proved that what she once had was actually real, and not just some illusion.

_'Serah..'_

The pinkette faltered and stumbled off to the left, for a second but regained her balance easily. She bit down on her lip as another agonizing whimper rose from her throat.

Her voice..

Serah clasped the pole and stared out into the crowd, continuing her dancing that elicited sexual thrall over the watching crowd. She gasped quietly but not from shock or surprise, but because she was trying to breathe.

"Vanille.." Her heart twisted.

She pushed away from the pole and gaited over to the edge of the table. Whistles and shouts erupted from the crowd of thirsty wolves. Hands reached up to touch and caress the pink haired dancer but Serah ignored it.

_'Serah..'_

"V-vani-" She mumbled emptily as her eyes started growing wet. Teary ceruleans looked down at the row of men in front of her, all of them waving bills up at her while others tried to grab and cop a feel. Absently she smirked and reached out into the crowd to snatch one of the men but something, no someone caught her attention. Serah's eyes quickly fixed on the figure standing in the mix of the large crowd. Why did this seem so familiar? She wasn't entirely sure how she was even able to spot this person but she did. What was this person doing here? They never dared step in this place. In a way a side of her was ecstatic to see this person but another side wished that she would never have to see this person again, especially after _that_ day.

The pinkette took a few more steps forward and before she knew it, she was stepping down off the table and making her way towards the person. People in the crowd grew silent and stared clearing out and stepping to the side to give her space, watching the dancer.

_'Serah..'_

Another agonizing groan rose from her throat and she grasped her chest again for the muscles there were growing tighter. She really wanted to burst out into tears but here was not the proper place to do it.

Why did she have to suffer this way? Perhaps this was still her Karma attacking her, and coming at her brutally. But she thought it was over. She thought she had repented for all the wrong doing that she had done to the people she messed with. Then why? Why in the name of Eden was she still suffering? Maybe the entities above were enjoying this, and they loved to see her struggle through the pain and sorrow.

Stopping a few feet away, Serah's eyes dropped to the floor momentarily. She wasn't sure what to say, she wasn't feeling much of anything since she was so numb off of her emotions, so she just acted, instead of speaking. Words never got her anywhere. Her arm laced halfway around the person's back and she pulled her in towards her. Serah broke her gaze with the floor and looked into those blank icy eyes. She frowned.

_'Serah..'_

She hated it. Every moment felt like being stabbed. Not just in the heart, but everywhere. She felt like she could just die. Her heart was crushed and all she was doing is surviving. There wasn't a piece of her left, she was just a hallow shell now. Nothing mattered anymore. She could die today or tomorrow and could care less. To her dying would free her from this pain that seemed so eternal.

Her leg wrapped around the person's figure and her fingers gently brushed along the side of their neck, where she placed a gentle kiss.

The person chuckled and pushed the pinkette away. Not roughly but in a gentle manner. She huffed out and narrowed her eyes at the girl as she gaited back towards her. Serah pushed the woman back and into a chair that was directly behind her. The woman growled and went to stand back up but the girl just pushed her back into the seat. Serah giggled darkly and wormed her way into the lap of the other. She rocked her hips against the woman's and brushed her fingers along her thighs. "Lightning.." She breathed softly into the woman's ear.

Lightning shuttered lightly. She knew what this girl was doing and she wasn't trying to fall I to her trap either. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a paper bill that she slipped into the strap if Serah's bra. She scoffed. "And what exactly do you call this?" She whispers against Serah's ear. The older Farron grabbed the girl's hand that was teasing the side if her thigh and pushed it away. The soft touches was sending heat to the pit of her stomach.

Serah turned in her sister's lap and tightened her legs around her sides. She giggled playfully and tilted her head. "What do I call what?" She asked dumbly as if she didn't know what was going on. She snatched the bill from her bra and placed it back in her sister's hand. "Don't want this.."

"But that's what you're doing this for isn't it, flaunting your body for money?" The woman asked bluntly.

Serah pursed her lips. When put that way she felt pretty low. She shook her head. "That's a pretty harsh way to put it don't you think?" She leaned in close to the woman's face while licking at her own lips.

Lightning inched back a little, resisting the urge to lean forward."Only speaking the truth." She mumbled out.

Serah chuckled and grinded against the woman again, her hands traveled and touched every curve of the woman's body while doing so. Lightning tried to push the girl off of her but Serah was purposely pushing her weight down on her. "Stop fighting me Claire, you know you're enjoying this." She whispered.

_'Serah I love you..I'm sorry.'_

"S-sorry.." Serah squeaked out. Her hands tightened into fists and before she knew it, her eyes were running over with tears.

Lightning grabbed the younger by the straps of her bra and forced her up from her lap. She then pushed her through the crowed until they were in the furthest and darkest corner in the club, away from everyone.

"And now!." One of the other dancers called out, taking the stage before the crowd would grow bored. "Next up we have-"

Lightning roughly pushed her sister up against the wall and glared at her. Serah only moaned out and smirked at her, though tears were still running from her eyes. She liked this type of attention. "You know this type if treatment turns me on right?" She giggled.

"Oh ha ha, this some type game you're playing to get me to seduce you?" Lightning said dryly.

"Is it working?" The girl asked and leaned in to try and kiss the woman but Lightning put her hand out. "Claire.." She moaned out. Tears still were running from her eyes but she was smiling. "Come on.."

Lightning noticed this and it really baffled her. She didn't know if it was joyful tears or sad tears. However she was able to easily tell that something was definitely wrong with her. Serah's behavior was highly unusual. But she did miss two years of Serah's life so she wasn't sure what was normal for the girl anymore. She observed the girl. It may have been dim in this place but Lightning could still see, and under that phony smile she was putting on, was sadness, and that really bothered Lightning. "Serah.."

The girl just laughed. "Come on Light, let's get out of here, we can go back to my place and, pick up where we left off a few days ago. Hmm..what do you say?" Her hand reached to caress an area of the woman's body but was once again denied. Lightning slapped her hand away. "Oh, playing hard to get now. I like this." Serah said sensually.

"What the hell is the matter with you!?" Lightning asked growing even more concerned and worried by the way the girl was acting. Serah dropped her head to the side but Lightning grabbed her face making her look at her. "What's going on?"

"Don't look at me like that." She looked off into another direction. "You don't care so don't look at me as if you do..stop it." Serah felt her heart skip a few beats and she gasped again, then pouted. "No one cares about me.." She said morosely and lowered her head, giggling as she did. Her head jolted up quickly and she looked at Lightning. "But it's fine, I've grown to accept that."

_'I care about you Serah..'_

"If I didn't care I wouldn't be trying to figure out what's wrong with you now would I?" Lightning asked, growing frustrated with her sister's awkward behavior.

"But you left me.." Serah said lowly but Lightning heard it, though it wasn't directed towards her. "You left me just like everyone else did.."

"Serah I-" Lightning was never one for public affection but Serah needed it.

"Get away from me!." Serah shouted when her sister tried to hug her. "I don't need your sympathy, or anyone else's..just leave me alone!." She said and ran away.

"Serah wait!." But the girl was gone. Lightning just stood there dumbstruck at what just occurred.

* * *

><p><strong>Meh, not the most exciting ending to this chapter I know. Couldn't go any further or else it would have broken off into another topic that didn't relate to this chapter. But, it gets interesting after this. Just WAIT!. :D<strong>

**But, I'm sorry it took so long. School and work has been overwhelming me and sucking up all the free time I USED to have. *sigh***

**Well see you all next chapter!**


	21. I'm Not Your Sister

**Chapter 21: I'm Not Your Sister.**

She staggered wearily through the empty streets of Eden in a daze. Her eyes continued to run over with tears, yet her facial expression was blank. Her mind was everywhere but where it should have been at the moment, too busy focusing on the thoughts of Vanille.

_'Marry me Serah..'_

Those were one of the many thoughts rushing through her mind. It played over and over, echoing loudly within the walls of her mind. And every time it did, Serah could feel her heart twisting. She groaned out loudly and grabbed at her chest. Marriage was something meant for true true love, not just something you play with. Which is why Serah turned down Snow when he asked. She knew she couldn't and would never commit to a relationship with him, let alone marriage. She just didn't see him and her going any further than just having sex with one another. But, then Vanille..

**'**_Would you wanna get married Serah?'_

_'Maybe, but I'd have to be head over heels in love with someone to do that, and the other would have to feel the exact same.'__  
><em>  
>And that she was, head over heels in love with Vanille, which is why she accepted her proposal in the first place. She thought the red-heads feelings were the same, but somehow she missed the part where Vanille's feelings had suddenly change up on her.<p>

"Serah!."

The girl had stopped immediately. she had no intentions to. Hearing that voice just made her, though she had ignored it earlier on. She was probably one of the last people, besides Lebreau that she wanted to go running to with her problems. Simply because she knew how things would turn out in the end. Just like before. "Lightning.." She whispered. Serah wanted to turn around and face her but refused. Lightning was probably looking at her with the same concerned expression that she had in the club. She didn't want Lightning to care so much about her because it'll only draw them close to one another. They'd develop feelings and one thing would lead to another. She wanted to avoid that as much as possible, simply because she knew that her own feelings would come from being so vulnerable at this moment, and that would only make another bad situation for her. "Just leave me alone. Alright? Being around you is too hard. Go away and just disappear from my life like you did before. Somehow, everything was much easier that way..."

Yes, the younger did have a point. Life was much easier for her before she met a certain red-head that spoke of Serah. From the moment Vanille mentioned her sister's name, the new life she had was ruined. All she could think about was Serah from that day on. She couldn't sleep, think straight, or even function correctly. Yeah her life was pretty fucked up now. All she could think about is having Serah back in her life again.

"Don't tell me what to do.." Lightning said dryly and walked up behind her sulking sister. She wrapped her arms around the younger's shoulders and pulled the girl against her. Lightning could feel Serah's body start to shudder and her sobs of sadness started getting louder. Lightning was still very clueless as to what was going on but she knew that Serah needed someone right now even if she wouldn't say it. She hated seeing Serah upset about anything. "It's.." She hugged onto her sister tighter. "It's going to be alright.."

It's going to be alright..? Serah shook her head as she grabbed the older's arms, and attempted to pull them apart from around her. but Lightning would not break the embrace. "Claire.." She sobbed, still trying to unlatch the woman's arms from around her. "Let..let go of me!."

Lightning refused. She continued to hold on to the girl no matter how much she fought against her. There were a few times she nearly lost her grip from Serah constantly elbowing her in the stomach. To see Serah in a state like this had the woman feeling numb inside. She would have never imagined that there would come a time where Serah would be this way. She was so used to seeing her sister in a brighter mood always smiling, and always laughing. There were never dark moments with this girl. But things changed, and for the worst.

"Lightning!." The younger finally gave in and turned around to face her sister. She threw her arms around her neck and buried her face into her shoulder. "Nothing.." Her body was so weak and tired from all the emotional stress, that her legs started to give out and she fell to the ground, pulling Lightning right along with her. It had been two days since she'd seen or heard anything from Vanille, and thae same two days she had gotten no sleep. "Nothing is going to be okay.."

She knew the girl was right. She remembered how hard it was for her to cope when she made the decision to leave Serah. "Come on.." Lightning stood up, pulling Serah along with her. "Let's get you home.."

* * *

><p>"Ah, so ya come crawling back, just as I thought you would." Fang smirked and leaned up against the door frame. Her eyes stared down at the girl in utter disgust but the red head didn't see it since her head was down. "So, the broad did ya dirty again did she?" The woman asked but she received no answer which irritated her because she felt that she was being ignored. "Answer me, now.." She growled. Her voice was stern and demanding.<p>

Vanille's body started trembling. It had only been a few days since she left Serah, but those days had been very rough on her. The night she had left, the red head had gone to the Bodum shelter, but her stay there was short when someone attempted to rape her. With nowhere else to go, she went to the park, where she has been staying for the past two days. All to avoid going back to Fang. But she knew it was only a matter of time before she would need shelter. She had not eaten since that night and she felt extremely weak. So here she was, back at the home of her ex-lover.

She had heard what the woman said but her mind was more focused on trying to keep her eyes open, and trying not to faint. Talking took too much energy, energy she did not have right now. She raised her head and looked up at the dark haired woman, only to receive an appalled expression from the woman. The red head looked horrible. Dark circles hung under both her eyes from lack of sleep, her beautiful red hair had a dingy tinge to it as well as the rest of her body, then her usual radiant green optics were red, teary and lacked the life that it would have on any other day. "Vanille.." Fang called out, she wasn't even sure if this was her. The woman, reached out and grabbed her shoulder but Vanille quickly drew back out of fear.

Fang huffed and stepped off to the side. This was definitely Vanille. "Come inside.." She said coldly and stepped away from the door.

Vanille was reluctant. She knew that stepping foot inside this place was like sealing away all the freedom she once had. This woman would make sure that she'd never see outside again, unless it was with her of course. The girl looked over her shoulder at the scenery once more, for she knew it would be quite some time before she would see it again. She had a choice, she did. She could easily just go back to Serah and fix up their relationship, make everything better again. But then Serah would be a target again. Fang would try to hurt her. She didn't want that. So this was the only way, even if it meant her having to endure Fang's terrible ways and possessive behavior. As long as Serah was okay, nothing else mattered.

"Are you coming in or not!?" Fang said, appearing at the door again.

The girl nodded and scooted inside as quickly as she could. The door slid shut and Vanille just stood there. She nervously fiddled with her fingers as her eyes scanned around the apartment as if she had never been there before. This felt so much similar to the time when she first stepped into Serah's house. It was so awkward being in the home of another person that she didn't know, and that's exactly how she was feeling now. Yet, she knew Fang, only the woman had the tendency to be very unpredictable at times.

"Oh keep ya shirt on ya brute!." Vanille heard Fang say before hearing the shower come on in the bathroom.

"I won't harm a pretty little hair on your pink haired friend aright." She said and walked out the bathroom. Her eyes looked directly at Vanille and motioned for the girl to go into the bathroom. "So you think ya threats scare me?" She chuckled and sat down at the table in the kitchen. "Just because you slugged me in the face doesn't mean a thing…"

The red head blinked at the woman then slowly walked into the bathroom. She closed the door and started with removing her clothes. Vanille knew who that was Fang was talking to. It was Snow, and from the sounds of it he had attacked her.

Vanille stepped into the shower and immediately felt relief on her skin. So Snow did follow through with what he was going to do, she was just glad that it wasn't as serious as she thought.

"Yeah yeah!" Fang said and walked into the bathroom, placing some pajamas on the counter for the girl. "I heard ya once-" She said and walked out the door. "Just keep that chick away from Vanille and-"

When the door shut Vanille quickly went back to her thoughts, but about Serah. She wondered about how she was doing, and how well she was dealing with their split up. The girl reached over to the side of the tub and grabbed the body wash that was sitting there and opened it. Knowing Serah she probably went back to what she was doing before the two of them even met. The pinkette had a whole different way of mourning. While she found it wrong and disgusting, it was also none of her business. What Serah did was no concern to her anymore. They were no longer- "Together…"

Vanille choked down a small whimper and dropped her head back, allowing the water to run through her hair. What was she about to start crying for? She's the one who made the decision to leave the pinkette in the first place. Crying about anything should be the last thing she should be doing. But it was hard. She was on her mind all the time. It was only a few days but it felt like an eternity since she'd seen her.

The bathroom door opened again and shut behind the person who entered. Vanille wiped her hand along the foggy glass door of the shower and peaked out. It was Fang. Then woman pulled the toilet seat down and sat down. The red head sighed out and went back to washing herself up. The woman looked bothered about something, which always worried Vanille since it's when Fang was always the most violent. The girl shivered a bit as she pulled the scrunchies from her hair. "Uhm.." Vanille started softly. "You alright, Fang?" She asked. She thought that if she could get the woman to talk about it then it'll probably calm her down. That was one of the many problems in her and Fang's relationship. They never talked about anything. Their communication was terrible.  
>Fang inhaled sharply and held it in for a few seconds before releasing it. She shook her head lightly. "No," She said coldly. "But it's nothing I feel like discussing so don't worry about it." Fang stood up and quickly walked for the door, but Vanille stepped from the shower and grabbed the woman's arm. "No," The red head said firmly. Fang instantly whirled around and faced the girl, causing Vanille to flinch slightly and step back. "Uh-uhm.." Vanille started nervously. Fang was staring at her coldly but Vanille did not release. "I know that was Snow.." She said lowly but loud enough for Fang to hear. "He was calling about Serah. Wasn't he?"<p>

"Vanille I said I didn't-"

"Didn't way to talk about it.." Vanille cut in before the woman could finish. She could hear the rising annoyance and frustration in Fang's voice and was ready to back down but instead didn't. "I know. But you need to. Keeping things inside isn't good." Her grip on the woman's arm tightened. "Especially not for you. Now please Fang." She reached out with the other hand and gently grabbed the woman's face, turning it to face her. The red-head frowned at the sight. She didn't know how she wasn't able to notice it earlier but the woman had a large black and blue mark over her left eye that stretched to the base of her cheek bone. It wasn't that bad but it wasn't nice either. Vanille grazed her fingers across it in a gentle manner but Fang still flinched and pulled away. She turned her head back towards the door and huffed just as her fingers grasped the knob. "I said I'm not talkin' about it. Alright? So quit bringin' it up!" The woman growled. Fang snatched the door open and stepped out, closing it behind her.

Vanille sighed and stepped back into the shower to finish cleaning herself up. She didn't know why she thought that that would somehow work. Fang was never one to spill her emotions to anyone ever so why would she start now? The issue frustrated Vanille so much yet there was nothing she was going to be able to do to change it. She could continue to try and get Fang to talk to her but she doubted that it would get anywhere. Fang was going to be Fang and there was nothing she was going to be able to do about it.

**~Five Weeks Later...~**

**-xxxxxx-**

"You what!?" Snow exclaimed loudly as the pinkette took a seat down at the bar counter. He pulled a random choice of dark liquor from the shelf in the back of him and poured the girl some in a shot glass. "Y-you can't quit on me now Serah, you're one of my best. Besides Lebreau." He pushed the shot towards the pinkette and pushed the bottle off to the side. "I've been trying to contact you for weeks. You and Vanille both. I've been to your house and neither of you were there. Why? Why this so suddenly? Serah what's going on, are you okay?"

Serah's eyes leered at the dark contents in the shot glass. Weeks? That was it? Felt more like months to her, no centuries. Her and Lightning had been spending a considerable amount of time with each other lately and Serah has never felt happier, yet there was still a chasm in her heart, and the more time she spent with Lightning the bigger it got. Serah was happy but to an extent. She extended her arm out and latched her fingers around the tiny glass, but instead of picking it up and dumping the strong contents down her throat, she pushed it off to the side with the bottle. "No thank you Snow." She said calmly and looked away from him for a second or two. "I've been away, that's why I wasn't home.."

"So you couldn't call!?" He asked.

Her eyes closed and she exhaled a deep sigh. "I didn't feel like talking.." She responded emptily. "I need to do this. I can't continue with this lifestyle Snow, It's just not for me anymore. All of this was just a phase I was going through. And now that phase is over-"

"Let me guess, because Lightning is around again." Snow said firmly. "She talked you into this didn't she!?"

"Snow no, she-"

"So you're gonna just let her come along after disappearing for two years, and try to take control of your life?"

Serah shook her head. "No Snow it's not like that at all." She chuckled a bit but Snow could tell it wasn't a genuine one. "I made the decision myself. I haven't seen Lightning in weeks." She lied. Me coming here and telling you this was my idea alone." Her eyes peered at the shot glass and bottle of liquor briefly before returning eye contact with Snow. "I'm done alright, and that's that." She said the stood from the bar counter and headed for the door.

"I took care of Fang for you you know?" Snow said, causing the Pinkette to stop so suddenly. "Only thing is..I'm not sure if you should hang around Vanille anymore." He stated, unknowingly causing Serah grief upon hearing that name. "I know the two of you are, together but maybe you should end it. It's too dangerous for you.."

That wasn't a problem in the least. What he didn't know is that her and Vanille ended weeks ago. And him mentioning her name just reminded her of the emotional pain. "Hmm.." She sighed out sharply and nodded her head. "If only you knew.." She said to herself. The girl went to push open the door only to run into another while trying to exit.

"Well long time no see." Lebreau said in a cheerful manner upon seeing the pinkette at the bar. "How have you-"

Serah said nothing to the brunette and just left the bar.

"Serah..?" Lebreau looked over at Snow who just shrugged his shoulders and threw his hands up in the air. "What was that all about?" The barmaid blinked and sat down in one of the bar stools, watching at the pinkette's figure drew further and further away.

"That's anyone's guess.." Snow said. "Maybe you should talk to her. She'll open up to you more than me." He suggested.

Lebreau frowned and shook her head. "Not anymore.." She said and hopped over the counter. "A-anyway, what are we doing tonight?" She said awkwardly. She had to change the subject quick. "Didn't you say something earlier about a burlesque theme tonight at the club?"

Snow snapped from his thoughts and turned to the brunette. "Uhm...yeah I did but that wasn't going to take place until next week though. I haven't exactly gotten it all figured out yet so I-"

"You just leave that to me!." Lebreau stated proudly. "I'm good at these types of things. Just give me a list of who you want to be on stage that night and I'll take it from there." She winked at the male and pat his shoulder.

"Hmm.." He hummed, not really paying much attention to what Lebreau was saying. His mind was too focused on Serah's odd behavior. She seemed herself but then she didn't. Was it something he said? Did he upset her?

"Hello!" Lebreau called out.

"Huh hmm.." Snow blinked a few times. "You said something..?"

Lebreau huffed a sigh and shook her head. "Are you okay Snow?"

"I uhm.." He hopped over the bar counter. "Yeah..I'm alright. I just need..need some air." He said and walked out the door. "I'll be back.."

"Well.." Lebreau said and picked up a dish towel from under the counter. "That was strange.."  
><strong><br>****-xxxxxx-**

After leaving the bar and walking for about thirty to forty-five minutes, Serah had made it to the train station. The girl sat down on the bench and stared up at the departure screen that listed the arrivals of trains for the station. Sadly, the train for Eden had just left five minutes before she'd gotten here and wouldn't be back for another hour and a half. "Shoot.." Serah mumbled and looked up at the board again. It was seven-ten. She could always take the train to Palumpolum, which would be arriving g in fifteen minutes, then from Palumpolum wait for the Nautilus train, then take the-

"Nuh-uh.."

She shook her head that was entirely too much time. She wouldn't get to Eden until late. Waiting an hour wasn't all that bad..

"Wow what a shock to run into you here, considering that I haven't seen you around in a while. What haven't you been getting yourself into?"

"Tch.." Serah rolled her eyes and groaned. "Didn't know you were so worried about me Hope. If I didn't know any better I would think you actually care." Serah responded, mocking the other who glared in return at her response. "What do you want?"

Hope shrugged. "Nothing, I'm just getting off work if you must know. Running into you here was by chance. Not because I was looking for you. So don't flatter yourself." His tone was rude and arrogant as usual.

"Mm-hmm trust me..I wasn't." Was Serah's only response.

There was a pause between the two after that. Hope stood staring at the departure board as if he were examining when the next train was coming but really it was to avoid making any type of eye contact with the pinkette. Serah was the same except she chose to stare down at the ground. "So," Hope started, grabbing the pink haired girl's attention. Her cerulean hues broke from the ground and settled on His striking viridian optics. "Where have you been?" He asked firmly.

Serah quirked her eyebrow and tilted her head. "Why is that any concern to you?" She spat.

"I can't ask!?" He fired back.

"Since when did you want to know what's going on in my life?" She gasped. "Wait, don't tell me you have an interest in me now!. Is that it Hope?"

"The he-" his face twisted up and he let out a burst of laughter. "No way!. You wish!."

Serah glared and growled at the stupid male. "Well then, I don't have to tell you anything if that's the case. Just be quiet and don't talk to me!."

Hope finished with his loud and obnoxious laughter, wiping some tears from his eyes as he did so. "Ah, that was a good one." He said with one last laugh before getting serious again. "It's my job, that's why I'm asking. If I find anything to be suspicious, it's my job to find out what's going on."

"What the hell Hope. I didn't do anything. I'm gone for a little while and you automatically think I'm up to something? What do you want from me Hope?"

"Serah.." The platinum haired male froze. He looked down at the ground momentarily then back at the pinkette. "It's just that.."

_'I want you to disappear. That way people like Vanille and Lightning can stop being hurt by you..'__Then she said..__'Well maybe you'll get what you want sooner than you think..'__  
><em>  
>The day after that he went back to see the pinkette and she wouldn't even open the door. He tried back the day after that and the next and still nothing. Hope had thought that the pinkette went and killed herself. And he felt responsible for it. So seeing her here and alive, made Hope feel relieved if anything. He was walking around with a guilty conscious for weeks. "I'm.." He still wasn't fond of Serah at all, but he didn't want anything too terrible to happen to her. When he wanted her to disappear he didn't mean die. Before he could say anything else, the train was pulling up in front of the station. Hope turned around quickly just as the train was stopping.<p>

"Next stop, Palumpolum. Two minutes!"

Hope sighed as the doors to the train opened up. He looked over his shoulder at Serah while walking onto the train. "Don't go doing anything rash, got it?" His eyes softened.

_'What the..?'_ She thought.

Serah blinked. What was this all of a sudden. "I can do whatever I want. I don't take orders from you!." She retorted.

"Tch.." He shook his head slowly as the doors started closing. "Whatever you say.." He mumbled to himself. The male took a seat and the train pulled off.

"That was weird.." Serah said and looked up at the departure screen. It had only been fifteen minutes. She still had a very long time until the Eden train. She sighed. "Wonder what Lightning is up to?" More than likely, nothing. She didn't know what Lightning did these days when she had free time to herself. She remembered asking the woman the other day what she does now and her answer was simple; nothing. But that couldn't possibly be true. Lightning couldn't sit around and do nothing if someone paid her. She always had to be on the move doing something when she was alone. Lightning was always a mystery. They may have been sisters but, Serah didn't know everything about her. It was always fun trying to figure her out.

The girl sprung to her feet and stretched her arms up over her head. Strangely she was feeling quite happy about going home and spending time with Lightning. Well trying to anyway. She'd been staying with her since the night she ran into her at the club. Lightning offered for her to stay at her place and Serah immediately said yes without a second thought about it. But a enthusiastic as she was about the whole thing, Lightning didn't seem to share the same feelings. The woman had been extremely distant with her, they barely had any conversations, and if they did, it was very, very brief. Serah was bothered by it but not as much. Her sister had been that way for years...

"But.."

There was something else that was very odd about the way Lightning acted. But she can't figure out what it is. What if her sister didn't really want her there with her? She could always go home. But-

"Nuh-uh.." Serah shook her head. She couldn't go back to her own home. At least for now. It just..had too many memories there. Being in Bodum was a struggle alone. Too many things happened here. Her and Lightning, her and Lebreau, the people she slept with for fun. Then-

"Vanille.." She couldn't even say her name without straining her voice. Everything about Vanille sat heavy on her heart at one point. It still did but she could barely feel it as much as she did weeks ago. The thoughts of her just burnt a hole so deep into her heart that she's grown immune to the pain all together. Yet somewhere inside she was still suffering, it still hurts so much. Something like that doesn't just go away in a matter of weeks. "I hate you.." She whispered brokenly. Her hand grasped the crystal ring that hung around her neck by a silver chain. "I hate you so much for this.."  
><strong><br>**

* * *

><p>"I'm back.." Serah called out tiredly as she entered the apartment. It was damn near 11 O'clock. The Eden train was supposed arrive at eight-forty but instead it came at nine-ten. The next time she decided to go anywhere she would just ask Lightning if she could use her velocycle.<p>

Lightning emerged from a small room just across from the the living room area. In her hand was a book.

The younger pinkette smiled and walked towards the older and hugged her tightly. "You were reading?"

"Yeah..just a book on defense tactics." Lightning responded her whole body had gotten stiff when The girl had hugged her.

"Heh, typical." Serah responded.

So, Where'd you go?" She asked awkwardly.

Serah pulled away then sat down on the sofa. "To Bodum. I went to see Snow to talk to him about some things.."

"Okay.." Was Lightning's only response. She sat down on the sofa next to the girl, and Serah laid her head in her lap. The two exchanged gazes with one another. They had a decent relationship but it wasn't anything serious, at least that was how Lightning viewed it. The feelings were there but Lightning was extremely skeptical about the whole thing. Serah had told her about what went down with her and Vanille and as horrible as it was, she was quite pleased however, She didn't allow herself to get too close to Serah even though she so desperately wanted too. The younger was very unpredictable. Serah on the other hand was very open with how she felt. But for how long though..?

"I love you Claire.." She said to the older as she grazed her fingers along her cheek.

_'Oh no..'__  
><em>  
>Lightning closed her eyes and sighed as she turned her head away from Serah. "Don't say that.." Lightning said dryly. "Especially if you don't mean it.."<p>

Serah quickly sat up, taken aback by what Lightning had said. She couldn't believe she thought her words were false. "You think I'm lying?"  
><em><br>__'Dammit..'_

There was an argument coming and Lightning could feel it. "I don't know Serah you say one thing one moment and your feelings change the next. If this is a game you're playing-"

"A game..?" The pinkette was suddenly hurt by the woman's words. "Claire I would never play with your emotions like that. I wouldn't hurt you again the way I hurt you before.." The younger said near tears.

That was hard to believe. Lightning hated feeling as if she was becoming emotional, so she cut the conversation short. "Sure." The woman stood from her feet an walked to the kitchen, Serah followed in suit. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, flustered by the woman's response. "You don't trust me do you?"

Lightning reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. She heard Serah's question but didn't answer. Lightning didn't trust the girl in the least and probably wouldn't for a very long time.

"You don't love me at all do you.." Serah said sadly and looked down at the floor.

Lightning sighed and rolled her eyes. "Of course I do. You're my sister.."

Serah shook her head. "No.." She whispered lowly. "I'm not.." She looked up from the floor and directly into Lightning's eyes. "I'm not your sister..not anymore. We can't be Claire. We've done far too much, more than what sisters are supposed to do." She reached up and touched the woman's cheek. "Claire I love you, but not like a sister. Please tell me..you feel the same."

"Hmph.." Lightning knew she shared the same feelings however she wasn't going to admit it to Serah. She was sick of spilling her feelings to the girl just to get shot down later because the girl had a change of heart. Like last time. "Well then," Lightning started after taking a sip from her water bottle. "If we can't love one another as sisters, then there is no love at all Serah. I do not share the same feelings you share for me. Not anymore." She said almost coldly, shocking the younger pinkette.

"Y-you don't mean that.."

"Lightning.."

The woman pulled away from the younger and walked from the kitchen.

"Claire.."

Lightning was quiet until she reached the door to her room. She turned around and looked at Serah once more. The girl looked like she was about to burst into tears which ultimately hurt Lightning but she couldn't fold now. "Hurts, don't it?" She said before entering her room.

"Wh-what..?" Serah dropped her head on the counter top and broke down into tears. She couldn't even guess why Lightning was being so cold to her all of a sudden. She couldn't think of anything that she's done recently for her to act that way they'd made up and put the event that happened two years ago behind them. So what now?

The young pinkette ran from the kitchen area and to the door of her sister's room. She grabbed the knob to open it but it was locked. "Claire.." She knocked twice. "Claire I'm sorry. Whatever I did I'm sorry okay? Just please..don't be mad at me." She knocked again. "Claire.."

lightning sat on the floor with her back up against the door, listening as her sister continuously knocked and cried for her to forgive her. She wanted everything to be good between her and Serah but their relationship was far from it. Lightning loved Serah just as much as Serah loved her. But she was only asking to get hurt if she admitted her feelings again. Serah was Vanille's not her's and probably never will be. The girl was only pouring her heart out because she was vulnerable. The moment everything was back to normal, Serah would toss Lightning to the side like an old toy. Everything would be all about Vanille again.

"Claire.."

"You're just going through a phase right now Serah." Lightning said to the girl on the other side. "I get that. But you need to watch what you say.." She spoke.

"There is no phase.." Serah said in a whisper. "Vanille and I are done Claire, she made that very clear. I love Vanille but she doesn't want me anymore..." She said and grabbed hold of the door knob again. "Please just let me in Light, I want to speak to you face to face..please."

"I know that I've done some terrible things Light, but it's gonna be different this time, I promise.."

The door opened slowly and Serah stepped back a little bit. Lightning stepped out and leaned her figure up against the door frame. She looked at the girl and could see the grief within her eyes and turned her head away. Was it real? Was this girl really hurting the way she appeared to be? Serah was good at making every action she did look believable, which is why Lightning had so much doubt in her heart. She couldn't tell if she was lying or being truly genuine with her. The older pinkette shook her head and sighed. In her heart she wanted to believe but something was telling her to draw back, distance herself from this girl, cut all ties and just run, run as far as she could away from her. She was only gonna get hurt again. Serah would only cause her eternal grief. "You're my.." The woman chewed at her bottom lip and bit down on her tongue, she didn't know why it was suddenly so hard to say what she was gonna say, she said it moments ago. "You're.." She bit down harder on her tongue." "You're only my sister..that's it Serah. Nothing more.." She sighed out sadly. "Nothing less.."

"Claire.." Serah spoke softly to the woman. She placed one hand on the older's shoulder and the other, she grabbed the collar of the woman's shirt between her fingers. "I told you, we've done way too much, I'm not your sister anymore..we can't be, and I don't want to be..I wanna be..your lover.." She said and pulled the woman in close to her by the collar of her shirt.

Lightning quickly pushed her hand out in between them, creating a little bit of space, but Serah was desperately trying to close it. "Serah." The woman took her other hand and placed it firmly against the younger's shoulders, pushing her back but Serah struggled to get closer. "No." She finally used her strength and forced the younger back with a strong push that knocked her against the wall.

Serah slammed into the wall across from her sister's room but showed no sign of being hurt, if anything she liked it. The girl smiled and seen that her sister swiftly tried to dodge back into her room, but Serah's movements were surprising quicker than her's. The younger stuck her leg out under Lightning's, tripping the woman up. "Oops.." She said nonchalantly.

"The fu-!" Lightning tried to keep her balance but failed and hit the floor hard. It hurt like hell but that didn't stop Lightning from trying to scramble away from her sister. "What the hell Ser-"

The younger pinkette pounced on top of the older and pushed her back against the floor. A small groan escaped from the back of Lightning's throat from the vibrations that ran down her spinal chord from Serah's actions. When did the girl get so strong? was one of the questions floating in Lightning's mind. "Serah.." Lightning said lowly she was extremely irritated with the girl for going this far. More so Lightning's pride was hurt more than anything she let her sister get the best of her. "Get. Off. Of. Me.."

"Aww.." The girl said and leaned forward and rested her body against the woman's, her head rested on her chest but Lightning could feel the girl's warm breath tickling her neck. "You're mad?" She asked as she ran her fingers through the older's hair.

Lightning closed her eyes and exhaled slowly through her nose. "Serah this isn't funny, get off.."

"Make me.." Serah said playfully. "You know you could if you really wanted to. You're physically stronger than I am. So it's blatantly obvious that you are," The hand she had playing with Lightning's hair, slid to the tips of the pink fringes, brushed gently along her shoulder, and gradually to her left breast. Squeezing, and groping there soft and gently. "You're enjoying this moment." She whispered into her ear and placed a kiss to her neck.

Lightning quickly jolted up off the floor, causing Serah to fall off of her and onto the floor. "How dare you.." She said and curled her hand into a fist. Her other hand rested against her chest in a tight fist above the breast that Serah had squeezed on moments earlier. The woman took in a deep breath though they were jagged and uneven; her whole body was trembling as she glared at Serah through half opened eyes.

Serah giggled. "How dare I what?" She asked as she stood up from the floor. She noticed that Lightning had taken some steps away from her. "Aww.." She said and walked towards the woman who was still drawing away from the girl until her back was up against the wall. Serah closed the distance and leaned up against Lightning. She brushed the back of her hand against her cheek and kissed her forehead. "You don't like this?"

So this is what Serah does? Sure she heard all types of stories about the girl from sitting in the local bar in Eden and even when she made visits to the night club. She believed the stories to an extent, some of them sounded over exaggerated but she was believing they were actually telling the truth. Of course Lightning liked this she would throw Serah on the bed right now and tear her apart but, it would be only..sex. Serah would feel absolutely nothing if Lightning gave into this temptation. Everything Serah spoke about loving her was lies, lies just to get in the bed with her. After she got what she wanted she'd leave and never think about it again. "Hell no.." Lightning said with anger in her tone. "This is nothing but a game to you.." She grabbed both the girl's hands and pushed her away. "You may be able to woo others with you sexual-" lightning huffed and folded her arms against her chest. She lowered her head and closed her eyes before continuing. "No, slutacious behavior but you're not fooling me."

Serah's mouth fell agape and her eyes grew wide. "Are you implying that I'm a-"

"Slut.." Lightning said bluntly. "You flaunt yourself around and trick others into sleeping with you by using your body. What else would you call yourself?" Lightning shook her head she watched as the girl's expression went from shocked to hurt but she didn't care. "Then people that actually.." The woman stopped and placed a hand over her mouth. Her emotions were over flowing and she had to make sure they don't spill out any further. "Forget it.."

_'Slut..'__'Slut..'__'Slut..'_

That word echoed loud like church bells in her mind. "Slut?" She didn't know why it was such a shock to her. She knew all along that her actions were extremely slutty. It wasn't like it was the first time she'd been called that. She remembered her and Lebreau had gotten into an argument one time and the brunette called her one and a guy who wanted to be with her and she refused, he called her one. But she didn't care simply because what they thought of her was not important. They were no one she deeply cared for. But Lightning- "You think I'm a slut Lightning..? She was someone she cared for a lot. Hearing it from her was like..hell she didn't even know. "I'm a..slut in..your..eyes?" The younger started backing up towards the door slowly. Eyes brimming with tears of sadness. "I-I.." She sniffled and turned to the door, running out of it.

Lightning stood there against the wall with her hand still against her mouth. Once again she let her emotions take her over and make her say things she felt and didn't really want to say. Lightning's body was burning from the touches Serah gave her earlier. She wanted take her but it wouldn't have meant anything. Serah was playing a stupid game and she did not like being played with. Especially not emotionally.

_'I love you Claire..'_

"Bull shit.." The woman growled out. Serah didn't love her, she was just a-

"!" Lightning stepped outside her room when she heard continuous footsteps against the floor. She leaned against the door jamb watching as Serah stormed out of the room adjacent from her own. The girl walked towards the front door and prepared to walk out.

"So you're running away now?" Lightning asked. Serah's frantic movements stopped. "I told you the truth about yourself so now you wanna run out like a child."

Serah squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip. "Don't scold me like I'm some kid Lightning!. And Don't jump on me about running away from anything you-"

"Faked my death?" Lightning finished. "How many times are you going to use that one? And when you stop acting like a child I won't talk to you like one." Lightning walked from her room and gaited to the door where Serah was standing with her back facing her. "But I'm not running anymore Serah. I did enough of that and it cause me nothing but grief." She placed her hands on the girl's shoulders and pulled the pinkette against her. "I didn't say what I said to hurt you Serah, I just wanted to get you to see that the things you're doing are terrible. And if you keep running away from every little thing because your feelings get hurt, you'll never be happy."

"Like you care about my happiness?" She pushed the woman's hands from her shoulders and dropped her head against the door. Tears ran from her cheeks and splashed onto the floor. "I'm a slut to you.."

"You don't think it's true?" Lightning said casually. "Serah, I just don't want to see anything happen to you is all. What if you end up messing around with the wrong person's feelings one day? What you're doing now isn't exactly-"

"Oh so you're trying to tell me how to live my life now? I can do whatever I want. I don't need advice from you Lightning!."

"And you're being childish, again."

"Shut up!." Serah growled out.

Lightning was silent for a few seconds, trying to figure out what else to say to the girl. She watched as the girl continued to cry with her head against the door. It's been some years since she'd seen Serah cry this way. The last time was when they lost their parents. "Serah.." The woman spoke and gathered the girl up in her arms Serah yanked away but Lightning only grabbed onto her again and held onto her tighter this time. "I just..I just miss the old you. I despise the way you are now." She felt Serah's body stiffen. "I know it's partially my fault that you're this way and I apologize for that. But I don't want to see you like this anymore Serah. I want my sister back."

"Stop calling me that..stop referring to us as that; Sisters. We are not.." Serah sighed and finally turned around to face the older woman. "You want your sister back, and I want my lover.." She circled her arms around the older's neck. "But we can't always get what we want, huh.." The younger said gently as her eyes softened up a bit.

Lightning huffed and tried to draw any eye contact she had with the girl away, but Serah quickly grabbed her chin. "Why are you fighting me?"

_'What the hell?' _Was Lightning's current thought. "I'm not fighting you." She said as she bit the inside of her cheek. She was suddenly trying to pull herself free from the girl.

"You are.." Serah spoke. "You've been fighting me ever since that day, after we-"

"If I was fighting you, than why would I even allow you to stay here?" Lightning noticed the gentleness in Serah's eyes and quickly closed her own. Serah was right. But would Lightning say it aloud? No. She wouldn't say she was fighting her, but trying to avoid her. That day they had sex with one another never left the woman's mind. She thought about more frequently than she liked. "Serah I'm-"

"Claire, you're the only one I have left.." Serah said quietly. "Ive lost everyone else because I either screwed them over and they got tired, or they just could no longer deal with me.." She said and grabbed the ring again, thinking of Vanille when she spoke the latter.

The woman noticed how often Serah would fiddle with the necklace she was wearing. She also realized that her mood would always change when she looked at it, and would also slip into deep thought. Lightning didn't know what it was about frankly didn't care. But it was just baffling. "And what makes you think that I do?"

"If you didn't, then why am I here?"

_'Because I felt sorry for you..' _ Is what the woman would have said but she would have been only lying if she did.

"Can we try.." Serah asked. "I promise-"

"Don't promise..me anything."

_'Don't promise..'_ Serah chuckled lightly at the chosen words that the older used. Vanille once told her the same thing. "How can you trust me...if I can't promise.." She noticed that Lightning's body was no longer stiff and used that moment to hug the older closer to her. Lightning didn't seem to reject the action either.

"I don't need a promise to trust you Serah, nor am I saying that I trust you. But, I'll believe you for now.." The woman said and returned the girl's hug. "And..." Lightning paused momentarily, thinking whether or not she should go with the choice she was about to make. Lightning knew of her own unstable emotions. She also knew that throwing herself in this situation with Serah could ultimately hurt her knowing how Serah could be. But-

"We can...try.." She was willing to take the risk... "But we're not rushing into anything.." But cautiously. "Let's take this slowly.." She'd already been hurt by this girl once, who knew what she was capable of this time around.

"That's..fine.." She was hesitant in agreement but she knew why the woman acted this way. She never knew Lightning was so fragile and easily hurt. She felt even worse knowing that she was the cause of her being the way she was. Having to question whether or not what she was saying was true or false, constantly having doubts. She really broke her.

Lightning had never been so careful in her life. She would always dive head first into something without a thought. But this, her heart could not take no more. No more hurt. If Serah were to break her heart again, she might actually kill herself..for real this time..


	22. Dark Thoughts

**Chapter 22: Dark Thoughts**

'_You're stupid..fucking stupid'_

Her mind screamed at her as she lied in bed staring up at the ceiling. It was 4:00am and Lighting was up, and wide awake. The woman grumbled and slapped her hand against her forehead. How'd she get herself into this mess? Why did she even agree to these circumstances? Her eyes rolled to the corners, staring at the girl that was snuggled up against her.

'_Serah..'_

She thought to herself. The younger Farron had her arms wrapped securely around the older. Lightning could barely move. When she did, Serah's hold would get tighter. Who knew that someone could be this way even in their sleep. She was stuck.

'_Dammit, dammit, dammit!_'

Lightning cussed mentally. She should have just taken Serah home the day she ran into her. Then maybe she wouldn't be in this predicament. She'd be here in her home alone. Just the way she…likes..it..

'_You want her company. Stop acting as if you don't. You hate being alone.'_

She closed hers, sighing as she did. That night came back to her. That night she got home after leaving from Serah, after they-

_The feeling of something warm trickling down the side of her neck is what caused her to shift from her current position. The woman dropped her arms from over her head and dragged her hand around the right side of her neck. Blood. She held her hand out in front of her face and just stared at it lifelessly. No doubt that there was three trails of the crimson liquid created by her fingers, around the right portion of her neck. She'd forgotten that she had injured her hand, and she really didn't care. Nor did the glass shards still stuck in the wound, hurt when she tightly clenched her hand back into a fist._

_The darkness.._

_The loneliness.._

_Lightning dropped her head back against her knees and slammed her injured hand against the floor. Her eyes narrowed as she starred off into the nothingness in front of her. Her body started twitching slightly, that's been happening a lot often lately ever since she let her emotions get so out of control._

'_You're the one who chose to leave, yet you're sitting here beating yourself up about it..'_

_There was a sharp but shaky inhale then she threw her head back, accidently knocking it against the door._

'_If you miss her so much, go back..'_

"_But it's not me she wants.." _

'_Then what makes you so sure you're the one she wants now?'_

She wasn't sure? Lightning wasn't so sure about much of anything anymore.

"Light!?" Serah quickly sat up in the bed, startling Lightning from her current thoughts. There was a brief quietness as Serah glanced around the room. "Claire.." She whispered out lowly. Her eyes showed signs of sadness and began to tear up. "I'm-I'm sorry.."

Lightning sighed and shook her head. "Serah I told you that none of that stuff matters okay just-"

"But it's my fault.." The girl just continued to stare at Lightning blankly. However she wasn't exactly looking directly at the woman. She wasn't really looking at anything. "I did this to you, everything you're going through is my fault. I caused you so much grief and heartache to the point that, you can't….trust." A tear trickled from her eye.

"Serah..?" Lightning waved her hand out in front of the girl's face but received no response. She was asleep.

"Claire.." The girl mumbled again. Lightning recalled when Serah was younger there were times she'd wake in the middle of the evening and just talk. Expressing feelings that she would never say when she was awake. The older woman sat up in the bed and embraced the girl within her arms. This is what she used to do when Serah had episodes like this, and it would always calm her. "It's…" She slowly started rubbing up and down the girl's back. Serah responded with a light shiver and a quiet sob. "It's..going to be okay Serah.." Lightning said, gently running her fingers through the girl's hair. It had been a long while since Lightning had ever comforted Serah for any reason. So this moment felt extremely awkward. She was almost tempted to push the younger away.

"I…love..you.."

Lightning gasped lightly and looked down at the girl for a few seconds. Her eyes narrowed a bit before returning to normal, though there was a bit of anger still mixed in there. She just huffed and held the girl tighter against her. "Don't say things.." She sighed out. "don't say things like that…" The woman said. Her own body shivered a bit as she pressed her face against Serah's head. "Especially if you don't mean them.."

When Serah's breathing fell even, Lightning laid the girl down in the bed. The woman then turned and slid off the edge of the bed. She knew she wasn't about to go back to sleep any time soon not after this..

**-xxxxxx-**

Vanille's eyes opened up to the bright sun peeking through the window. Usually she would grab a pillow and cover her face with it, but not this morning. She just turned on her side and stared outside the window. She took in a deep inhale then exhaled. It had been some days since she had slept comfortably or had gotten a decent sleep at all. She was quite relived that she had gone through the evening with no problems. The girl yawned then sat up in the bed rubbing her eyes. "Fang.." She called out through her yawn. There was no answer. The red-head paid it no attention and figured the woman was still resting, so she slipped out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. The girl turned the water on and allowed it to run a bit. Again, she rubbed her eyes as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. At first, a smile grew across her lips before it slowly faded into a frown. And it was probably one of the most tragic frowns she's ever had. What the hell was this? What the hell was she doing? The red head grasped her arm and took in a deep breath. It had been weeks, why was she..how could she?

Slowly she exhaled the breath she was holding in. She had to stop this. Stop thinking about..about…_her _it was done and over with. Then why was it so hard for her to push her out? Why was it that every time the thought of_ her_ came rushing through her mind, her heart would flutter and she suddenly wanted to cry? She told herself that all thoughts, memories, and feelings would be tossed, buried, and locked away, far in the back of her mind and forgotten about. Yet, they were still present. Just sitting there building up every day. Causing her nothing but a pain that she could not describe.

She bought a hand up over her face and huffed out of frustration. As much as she wanted to talk to someone about her emotions that were currently so fucked up that she could hardly function correctly, she couldn't. Cause there was no one she could talk to, and talking to Fang about _her_ would only cause hostility, and she was trying to avoid that. So far there had been none, however it has only been a couple of hours under the same roof as the woman.

The girl cupped her hands together and placed them under the water that was now warm, and splashed it against her face. Keeping her emotions to herself was the only thing she could do right now. But for how long though? She cut off the water and grabbed a towel from the rack and started drying her face. The more she thought about _her_ the harder it was for her to hold her façade together.

"Morning.."

A pair of hands grasped her shoulders and the girl suddenly jumped and pulled back. Dropping the towel as she did. Her body trembled slightly as she came face to face with the other woman. It was only Fang.

'_It was only Fang..'_

Which is why she jumped in the first place. Vanille placed a hand over her racing heart as she attempted to calm herself. "M-morning.." She stammered. She watched as the woman grabbed her toothbrush and proceeded to brush her teeth. "Y-you startled me.."

"My bad.." The woman said drolly while brushing her teeth. She glanced at Vanille for a few seconds then glared before turning her eyes back to the sink.

Vanille stared at the woman for a while, examining her face. The side that had the dark bruises on it of course. It looked to have gotten worse since last night.

"What, are you staring at!?" Fang said, slightly muffled.

"Ah.." Vanille bit her lip and slowly backed out of the bathroom. "N-nothing.." She responded and lowered her head. Her first thought was to ask if something was the matter but the minute that thought crossed her mind, she decided against it. She knew that look and the tone of voice, and thought it was best for her to steer clear of Fang until she got what was on her mind off. Whatever it was.

The redhead turned and grabbed the door knob to the bedroom and walked into the kitchen. It was quiet. Again Vanille frowned.

'_You made this decision. What the hell are you so upset about?'_

She groaned and laid her head down on the table.

'_Get over it..'_

"Vanille.."

"Ah!?" The girl quickly jumped up from the chair. Fang had entered the kitchen and she was fully dressed. "Wh-where are you going?"

"Out.." The woman said simply.

"Out where exactly?" Vanille questioned even further?

Fang paused. "I'll be back.." She said and quickly sped to the front door.

Vanille's eyes followed and soon so did her body. "That's it?" Vanille rushed out in front of her just as the door slid open. "That's not good enough. Tell me!"

As usual Fang glared down at the girl, a majority of the time the action would make Vanille flinch and back away from the woman, however it didn't work this time around. "Why's it matter?" The woman growled out.

"Because if I left you'd ask me where I was going."

"Cause I want to make sure you're safe."

"No you just want to keep tabs on me!" Vanille retorted.

Fang was quiet.

"Hmph.." Vanille nodded and even smiled a little bit. "I knew I was right. Now tell me." She grabbed on to the woman's arm and looked at the other, the small smile was still there.

"The hell? Quit pestering me Vanille." The woman shrugged the girl off and began to step a foot outside the door but paused. She looked over her shoulder at the redhead, and she was still smiling. It was a small one but it was there. She pressed the button on the side of the door and it slid shut. Fang turned around and faced the smiling Vanille. It had been too long since she's seen the girl crack even the smallest smile, around her that is. Every time she glanced at Vanille all she would see is fear in the girl's eyes. It was still present currently but her smile is what pulled her attention the most.

"Vanille.." Fang walked closer to the girl but suddenly, the smile started to fade away. Every step she took, and became closer to the girl, the smile was vanishing, and Vanille started backing away. Next, the only thing she could see now was that fear. Fang stopped, and when she did, so did Vanille but the girl was trembling and looked like she was on the edge of tears. Did she do this to her? She reached a hand out to the girl but she just shied away from it like a terrified child. How did they get to this point, how did she make Vanille fear her this way?

"Vanille.." She dropped her hand back to her side and turned to the side. She had realized it before but she was so blinded by her anger and frustration of possibly loosing Vanille that it wasn't all the way clear to her. All she ever wanted was to keep Vanille happy, but in the midst of trying to do that, she lost sight of it through her jealousy. She hated seeing Vanille with anyone else but her. That included friends as well. So then it came to this, being possessive, and then came the abuse. Now Vanille couldn't even be in her presence without being afraid.

"What have I.." Fang turned quickly and walked towards Vanille. The girl quickly turned to run but Fang grabbed her arm and pulled her towards her.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Vanille cried out as she squirmed to get free of the woman. "Whatever I did I'm sorry just," She covered her arms over her head and began to cry. "Please don't hurt me.." Her body quaked violently in the woman's grasp and she continued to cry softly.

Fang's eyes were wide as she watched Vanille's actions. She was suddenly disgusted with herself. This was her fault. "What are you sorry for?" She said. Her voice was deadpanned. "That should be something.." She released the grasp she had on the girl's wrist and hugged her. "I should be saying that to you.." She hugged on to the girl so tightly. "I'm so sorry Vanille.."

Vanille was both shocked and confused by Fang's behavior but it wasn't the first time she'd seen it either. Fang's done this on multiple occasions. It would last for a little while then everything would return back to the way it used to be, once something she did not like would happen.

**-xxxxxx-**

_Help! Help! Help! There was a loud banging at the door. Lightning opened the door but was quickly pushed back when Vanille came rushing in. "The hell?"_

_She was dragging another inside along with her. The crying red-head expediently walked over to the sofa and laid the person down across it. "She lost a lot of blood Lightning please!" The red-head cried. "Please help!"_

_The pink haired woman was still at the front door however she was glancing over towards the pinkette and the other on the sofa. "What..?" She was still trying to wrap her head around the situation. And who was she talking about? The woman shook her head and slowly stared towards the couch. "What the..?" The woman didn't even get to the sofa when an eerie feeling swept over her body and she stopped. From the distance she was at, she could see a mixture of dirt and grime all over the once white sofa, but that's not what caused the woman to stop. She shivered when she saw the sight of blood. And it was leaking off the side of the white sofa and onto the floor, creating crimson puddle that was gradually getting bigger as the stream of blood continued._

"_Hurry Lightning please!" Vanille held on to the hand of the unresponsive person, whispering that everything was going to be okay._

_The pinkette just watched the girl. For some reason she was now scared to even walk any closer to where the red-head sat. Afraid she was going to see something that she didn't want to see.._

"_Lightning!"_

_Bang! Bang! _

_The woman jumped then turned towards the door. She heard Vanille whimper._

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_What the hell was going on? As the banging continued, Lightning could see large dents begin to form on the door, like someone was trying to ram through it. Lightning went to reach for her weapon that was lying just beside her door, but just as she reached, the door was rammed through. In leaped a Behemoth, a big blue Behemoth. The creature went to jump on top of the woman but Lighting dashed to the side and rolled towards the front door. She grabbed her weapon, however the Behemoth was quick with its movements and swiped at Lightning. The woman was tossed into the living room area near Vanille._

"_Lightning!" Vanille squealed out. _

_The ex-soldier heard the girl's cry and slowly started picking herself up off the floor. "I'm.." She started, and looked towards the red-head. "I'm-" But she didn't finish . Lightning was horror struck. The blood that was continuing to leak, had created a puddle so big, that it was streaming across the floor. The woman looked down at the palm of her hand to see it was covered in the dark liquid. She flinched. "N-no.." She shook her head. "This.." She looked back towards the sofa. Blood never freaked Lightning out. She'd seen it so much on a day to day basis when she was in the military, that it never bothered her. It was the body, that the blood was coming from that had her so shaken up. "S-ser..ah"_

_The Behemoth roared and quickly dashed towards the woman to attack. Lightning was too in shock that she didn't realize what was happening. And-_

"Claire…Claire."

Serah shook the sleeping woman. "Claire wake up!"

"Claire!" Serah shouted, finally getting through to the woman.

Lightning jumped from her sleep looked around. "Serah!" She said as her eyes fell upon her sister who she was shocked to see was _alive_. "You're.." She paused.

Serah blinked. "I'm what?"

Lightning dropped her head on the coffee table and sighed. "Nothing.. never mind."

"Are you okay? And why were you asleep in the kitchen?" The younger asked.

"I'm fine Serah." The woman responded groggily. "Just had a tough time sleeping last night. I'm fine."

"Uhm..Okay then.." Serah backed away from the woman. "Well I'm stepping out for a bit. I'll be back sometime later. Okay?"

Just as Serah was ready to dash out, Lightning quickly grabbed onto her arm, stopping the younger unexpectedly.

"Hmm..?" Serah looked over her shoulder at her sister who's head was still lying against the table top. "What is it Claire?" She questioned. Her eyes fell upon her own arm where her sister was firmly gripping. She also noticed that Lightning was slightly trembling. "Claire?"

"N-nothing alright.." The woman responded. She slowly released Serah's wrist though she didn't want to. She didn't want the girl to leave. Especially after that horrid nightmare she just had. But she didn't know how to make her stay. "Just, just please _be careful._" She said emphasizing the last to words. Her head rose from the table and her worried eyes met with the others. Serah however did not catch on.

"I'm always careful Claire." Serah chuckled at how her sister worried about her. "You're such a worry wart!" She kissed the older's cheek. "See you later!" She said then rushed out.

Lightning sat there, blankly staring off at the blank wall right across from her. A newspaper sat untouched in front of her. The woman would normally read through the paper while drinking her morning coffee, but today was different. Lightning's mind was elsewhere. She had been awake since 4am and it was now 11am. Serah had stepped out to Eden knows where and now it was dead quiet.

_Knock! Knock!_

Or it was quiet. Lightning sighed and rose her cup of coffee to her lips again. It was too early in the day for this. The woman picked up the folded newspaper and looked at it. Whoever it was would go away soon.

_Knock! Knock!_

The woman just stared at the grey-ish colored paper, however she wasn't reading it. Her mind just kept returning to that dream. There was blood everywhere. Her hands were covered in it. The thick, warm, and copper scented liquid just dripped from her hands. And it was…..Serah's.

Serah's blood…

Her body, sprawled out on the sofa. Covered in, and leaking blood.

_Knock! Knock! Knock! BANG! BANG!_

"For the love of Eden.." She stood from the chair and proceeded to walk towards the front door. The banging continued until the door finally slid open.

"Light!" It was Hope. He pushed by the woman and quickly entered the house. The platinum haired male sat down on the floor in front of the window and covered his head with both his arms.

Lightning clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and rolled her eyes. She was in no mood to be bothered with anyone this morning. Not even the boy. "Hope what do you want?"

The male shook his head and rocked back and forth. Lightning observed the male's odd behavior carefully and didn't quite like what she was seeing. He was trembling, his appearance from his hair to his uniform was a total mess. He looked as if he'd gotten into a brawl with someone. Judging by the way he rushed in the door and the way he was acting now, Hope was scared of something. Nothing has had this boy scared for quite some time and now it was beginning to bother Lightning.

"Okay," Lighting walked to the male's side and knelt down next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and the boy jumped. "Alright Hope, what the hell is going on?"

"Where is Serah?" The boy asked frantically. He quickly stood up from the floor and began searching around the house. "Light, where is she!?" He looked through every room in the house and even unnecessary places like the closet.

"If you're looking for her I doubt she'd be in the closet Hope." The woman responded dryly. "She's not here."

"Not here?" He quickly spun around, finally making eye contact with the pink haired woman. Lightning could see the fear written all over his face. "Light you need to stay away from her!"

"Oh?" The woman crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. "And why is that?"

"She's dangerous!" He stressed. "Because of Serah I-"

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Lightning growled lowly and looked towards the door. Why was she getting so many visitors this morning? Who could it be this time? "Did someone tag along with you?" She asked.

Hope shook his head and began fiddling with his fingers. He honestly didn't know. After he _escaped_ Serah's house in one piece he just came straight here. He didn't know if he was followed or not. "Uhm…"

"Uhm! Uhm what!?"

Lightning opened her front door, and when she did, in leaped a figure that tackled the pink haired woman.

"Light!" Hope shouted out.

The woman, along with her attacker, crashed against the coffee table, shattering the glassy surface on impact.

"You pink haired slut!" The attacker drew their fist back the swung forward to connect with the woman's face but Lightning quickly caught the woman's hand in her own. Furious, Lightning twisted the hand, fracturing her attacker's wrist. Lightning rose her knee and thrust it into the stomach of her attack which made them buckle. She then kicked them in the stomach and threw the person off of her.

The stoic woman rose from what remained of the shattered table, just as her attacker was getting up. Lightning quickly rushed for the person and pushed them against the floor. Her foot pressed hard against their throat but not to the point they could not breathe. "Who are you.." The woman asked obviously frustrated that this person had balls enough to attack her in her own home. "Say anything sarcastic or stupid," He pressed her foot harder against their throat. "I'll fucking kill you.."

-xxxxxx-

Even after that small sentimental moment, or whatever it was. Fang still left out. Vanille frowned and looked down at the water as it swooshed on and off shore. Every time, the sand would wash over her feet, burying them further under the mushy sand. She still had no clue where Fang had went and it bothered her a lot. She recalled the last time Fang went out she came back with a large scratch across the center of her face. What would happen this time? Vanille's mind began to wonder. What if the woman didn't come back at all?

The red head stepped back from the beach water. A large wave crashed onto shore and splashed around the girl's body, light sprinkles from it drizzled down on her head. She shivered, but then a cruel thought entered her mind and she froze up. What did it matter if Fang did return or not? In truth, she'd be happy. Honestly, as bad as it seemed, she'd been waiting for the day, that something extremely bad would happen to the woman. If Fang were to just disappear today or tomorrow, Vanille wouldn't think two seconds about it. She probably wouldn't even mourn. Would she?

Vanille shook her head to shake off those bad thoughts, however they just kept coming in. Fang's done nothing but made her life into a living hell. Then another thought crossed her mind. What if..what if she was the one to..to..

"Heeeeeey!"

"A-ah?" The thoughts quickly vanished as the voice rang through her ears. "Hmm.." Vanille took a gander over her right shoulder to see someone running towards her, waving their hands up in the air. "Oooh!" She smiled and waved back at him. "Hey Maqui." She said when the male was finally a few feet away from her.

Maqui smiled a bit then bent over as he tried to catch his breath. "Hey there Vanille, long time no see." He said between breaths. "Where you been at?"

"Slightly busy.." The girl responded, scratching the back of her head. "You've been okay?"

"Yeah. Just been up to my usual. How's Serah? Haven't seen her around here in a while either."

Vanille was briefly quiet. Did he not know? "Uh-uhm, Maqui-" She paused momentarily again. It was obvious that he didn't know, but she realy didn't feel like mentioning it either. "S-serah's fine.." She said strangely. "She's just been..busy that's all." She lied.

"Oh.." The boy tilted his head. "Well so have I!" He said as his smile grew. "I've been away for several weeks. I was in Palumpolum helping with the construction of a new NORA bar. This is my first day back here since then. Anyway, Come on, you should come in and see everyone I'm sure they will be glad to see you!"

It didn't sound like a bad idea. It had been a while since she'd seen Snow, Gadot, and Yuj. Stopping in just to say hello would be nice. "Alright then, yeah we can do that.."

"Cool!" Maqui ran up the beach side with Vanille trailing right behind her. Reaching the bar, the male pulled the door open, and allowed the red-head to walk in first. "Hey guys look who I ran into down by the beach!"

Everyone; Snow, Lebreau, Gadot, and Yuj all looked in the direct of the door. Everyone was quiet all eyes looked to be staring at both that had entered, but in truth, they were all staring directly at Vanille. Snow took a sip from his beer mug then placed it down on the counter top. Lebreau, and Gadot only glared at the red-head in disgust.

Maqui stared at all of them, a mixture of dumbness and confusion was written across the boy's face. "Uhm, guys..what's-"

"What are you doing here?" It was Lebreau that spoke up first.

"Huh?" Maqui blinked. "What do you mean, I was-"

"No, not you Maqui." The barmaid put down the glass she was drying and walked from behind the counter. She folded her arms and stood between Snow and Gadot. "Her." She said and directed her glare back to Vanille.

"H-huh…" Vanille was obviously confused by the hostility that was being dished out to her. She was never fond of Lebreau nor was she capable of being brave in front of her. So she'd completely lost her ability to speak at this moment.. "Wh-what?"

Snow took a sip of his beer then turned to face the girl before setting it on the counter top. "It's your fault you know. Your fault that Serah is stuck in between you and Fang. Serah could have been hurt or worse because of you!" Gadot nodded in agreement. Yuj only stayed quiet. He agreed with his friends but he didn't like how they were going so hard on her. It wasn't truly her fault. She didn't deserve this alone.

"Guys stop it!" Maqui added in.

Vanille only stared down at the floor. Saying nothing, and just taking the harshness that they were throwing at her. They were right after all. Everything was her fault. Serah wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for her. Fang wouldn't be trying to hurt her if it wasn't for her. She really was the biggest burned in Serah's life right now.

"Maybe you should stay away from her. Leave her alone." Gadot finally said. "You've bought nothing but trouble into her life."

They were so right, and she could do or say nothing to convince them to think otherwise. It was obvious that they were just as oblivious as Maqui when it came to knowing where her and Serah currently stood in their relationship. She nodded and turned for the door, but Maqui grabbed onto her arm. "Wait, don't go Vanille."

"I have to Maqui.." She said then looked at the male, sadness all in her bright green eyes, but she cracked a smile just for him. "I'll be okay.."

"Vanille!" He reached for the red-head but she quickly rushed out. The young blond boy turned and looked at his friends. The all stared back at him in silence. He waited for something, anything, an explanation for their actions, but neither of them said anything to him. "What's wrong with you guys? How could you be so cruel!?" Maqui yelled, and he never yelled, or got angry about anything. Yet his friends still ignored him. "You guys are jerks!" He said and stormed out the bar.

-**xxxxxx-**

Vanille walked along the side of the beach with her head down, and her hands within the pockets of her shorts. Now she really had no one to turn to. Everyone despised her and it was all Fang's fault. The red head took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to just scream, scream as loud as she could, and maybe that would release all the pain she was feeling. Crying wasn't doing much for her these days.

She needed to do something, anything to relieve the pain. Her eyes snapped open as her mind started to wander again, back to those thoughts she was having prior to Maqui showing up. She gasped lightly and bit her lower lip. Why was she suddenly having these horrible thoughts? She wasn't even sure how they came up into her mind, but they were there, lucidly flashing across her mind. They were so clear she thought that it was actually occurring. "No!" She started running, as fast as she could along the shore of the beach. She regretted leaving Serah when she did but now the regret was building. This moment she really wanted to just go to Serah, find her and tell her that she was right about everything. Tell her she wants her back, but…

Vanille started to slow her running and gradually settled with a speed walk. Serah would never go for that. She'd caused her too much suffering already. How could she crawl back to her just begging for her to forgive her? Serah would probably just laugh at her and tell her-

The red head's speed walk came to an unexpected stop. Bumping into someone she stumbled back, but did not fall. She quickly caught herself. "Sorry.." Vanille mumbled. She kept her head down and walked around the person and kept walking.

"Yeah, you've been saying that a lot these days…you're always sorry."

Vanille froze. She wanted to turn around, but she couldn't face her.

"How many times are you going to apologize, just to turn around and do the same thing? It hurts…" She said and started taking steps towards the girl. Vanille still had not turned around. "Every time I think things between us have gotten better, you prove me wrong, and make me look foolish.." She stopped behind her. She was close, so close Vanille could feel her breath tickling the back of her neck. "How many times are you going to walk out on me for..Fang? Is this a game you're playing Vanille?" She shook her head, frowning as she did so. "Because I don't want to play.."

Vanille could feel her body slightly touching her's the red-head had to resist, falling back against her. She wanted so bad to just feel the touch of this girl. Everything would just melt away, problems, pain, everything. I'm s-so sorry Serah.." Vanille said sadly. Her emerald eyes glistened as tears spilled from them though Serah couldn't see them. "I'm not playing games with you, I'd never do something so cruel. I didn't mean to hurt you I just-"

"You just thought that leaving me would solve the problem. Like you thought last time?" Serah cut in.

"I know you don't think so Serah but it will. Just.." She grabbed the pinkette's hand and held on to it. "Just wait for me. Please..?"

"Wait for you.."Serah scoffed and snatched her hand away from the red-head, slowly she started backing away. "I've waited for you one too many times already, and got hurt doing so." She shook her head. "I'm just tired Vanille. Is this how it's going to be every time Fang comes around? I can't even tell who you care about more. Me or Fang?"

"No Serah," Vanille finally turned around, sensing that things were about to escalate. "That's not it at all!" She grabbed on to the pinkette's arm one more time. "Serah I love you, I just don't want to see anything happen to you because of Fang."

"I told you what needs to happen but-"

"Serah that's fucking insane!."

"Hmm.." The pinkette's eyes narrowed. "No what's insane is how you care so much about what happens to her, but she doesn't give a damn about you." Serah was growing irritated with the red-head now, and was done holding back what she really wanted to say. "You're so stupid. Quit being so naïve and open your eyes Vanille. All Fang wants to do is control you. You think I'm not just as afraid of her as you are!?" She shook her head. "You didn't see that stopping me. Why? Because I loved you. I didn't care what Fang did to try and break us apart. I wanted to be with you, Vanille. But it's obvious that you don't care for me that much because you're too worried about that damn woman!."

Loved? What was she trying to say? This was becoming far worse than she wanted it to be. Vanille felt her heart stop for a moment or two. She didn't like the direction this was going in at all. "Serah no, I do. I do love you. Please believe that, I just-" she paused. "You're being so unfair right now.."

"Unfair?" Serah's eyes grew for a second then returned to its normal size. "I'm unfair how? Please explain to me how I'm-" she threw her hands up. "You know what, forget it I'm done with this. I can't continue on with someone who doesn't know what the hell they want. If you're that worried about Fang then go to her!." She turned her back to the red-head and started walking away. "Go on back to her I don't care anymore, I'm done with you.."

Vanille felt extremely hurt by the pinkette's words. She never thought that Serah would be so harsh towards her. "Why are you being so mean to me? I'm just trying to-"

"You're not trying to do anything!." The pinkette shouted at the red-head. She turned around in a fit of anger and stormed back towards Vanille. The red head started slowly backing away as she neared she felt slightly threatened by how fast she was coming. Serah quickly grabbed the girl by her biceps and yanked her in her direction. Vanille yelped a bit and flinched out of habit but Serah didn't notice. "The only thing I see you doing is running!"

"L-like you haven't." Vanille said lowly. Her eyes were downward at the ground, trembling but trying to control it. Serah still did not realize. The hold she had on the girl was getting tighter "Look what you did. You slept around with everyone, played people and possibly even scarred them for life, and even caused them to kill themselves. All that just to cover up your guilt, no, run away from the fact that your sister was dead and it was all your fault!"

Serah's hand curled into a tight fist as she shoved Vanille back. "Don't try to throw my faults back at me because you're wrong. I know what I did, it's done and it's over with."

Vanille rose a shaky hand and held the sides of her arms where Serah had been squeezing. "Yes but it took you two years. Yet you're rushing me to just get over this. It's not that easy Serah. I thought you of all people would understand that. You can't just turn feelings off and-"

"Do you think for a second that if Lightning was abusing me that I'd stay with her?" Serah started walking towards the girl again. Vanille gasped very low and hesitantly started to back up. This is how it always started. Her eyes still remained to the sandy surface, scared that if she looked up that she would see Fang. Serah was acting like her in this moment. Being hostile with her, bashing her, a few traits of Fang.

'_So love really is like this..'_

"You're saying that because you're not in the situation." Vanille responded. She stopped. " But it's not that simple! Yes you probably would leave Lightning, but do you think that your feelings for her would shut off just like that?"

Serah stopped a few inches away. "Ah, so the truth finally comes to the light, you're still in love with her."

"No Serah don't go twisting my words-"

"You don't have to explain yourself any further Vanille. I understand clearly." The pinkette dropped her head. "Guess the jokes on me huh? I can't believe I actually fell for you.."

"Serah-"

"So what was I to you then huh?"

"Serah if you listen to me and stop jumping to conclusions-"

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" She reached for the red head again but stopped when she seen Vanille's reaction. The girl was cowering away from her. Shaking and whimpering quietly. Serah sighed and stepped away. This was a terrible thing she was doing. Acting out this way because Vanille chose Fang over her. She never wanted to hurt Vanille. But that's what she was doing, and she didn't even notice it at first. "Nothing is going to change or fix my feelings or..how I feel about you."

"Serah..please."

"Tch, forget it...

Serah clenched her hand around the ring that was hanging around her neck and snatched the chain so hard that it popped. She looked down at the beautiful piece of jewelry as it sparkled and glistened in the light of the moon. "Here!." She threw it to the ground and watched it roll to Vanille's feet. "I don't want it nor do I need it. Better yet, give it to Fang."

"Oh and for the record, that day Lightning and I made up, we also had sex."

Vanille's jaw fell open, and Serah smirked with amusement.

"Since the secrets are coming out, thought I'd just throw that one on the table."

"And you want to stand here and judge me? You can't even be honest!."

Serah shrugged. "I just told you didn't I?"

"Only out of spite.."

"Well you can't say I didn't tell you."

"You're such a-"

"Jackass?" The pinkette finished and chuckled. "I'll take pride in that."

"No," the red-head said through gritted teeth as she reached down and picked the ring up that Serah had thrown to her moments ago. She sighed and closed her hands around the ring and held it to the center of her chest. "Bitch.." She sneered out.

"Ah!?" Serah quickly whirled around upon hearing that word fall from the girl's lips. At first she didn't think it was her because of the way her voice had changed up when it was said. "..."

"All you've done is judge, judge, judge. Pick at me for my faults and imperfections, when I've never done that to you!." She took the ring and threw it back to the pinkette and she caught it. "Not once Serah!. I've never judged you about anything you've done. Yet you..." Vanille covered her eyes and fell to the ground. "You make me seem like I'm such a terrible person.."

Serah looked at the ring in her hand. She thought twice about throwing it back to the ground but didn't. Instead she just put it in her pocket. "You said it..not me." She mumbled then stood up. "Good-bye, Vanille.

"So that's it. You're just going to walk away?"

"Serah!."

"Serah!."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the broken necklace with the ring in it. She frowned and held the object close to her chest as she started running. She couldn't feel anything. There was no emotions but, "I love you.." Serah whispered to herself. She had no more tears left to cry, all the pain and heartache she's experienced just numbed up her whole body. She didn't even know how she was able to even speak the words I love you just seconds ago. She felt nothing after she said it. Perhaps it was just something she got so accustomed to saying. Those three words had fixed a lot when it came to her and Vanille. But not anymore, they were just empty words now.

**-xxxxxx-**

When Serah had gotten home Lightning was still asleep, but this time in the bed. She stared at Lightning's sleeping face and could only wonder how long it's been since she's had a good rest. Serah's eyes flashed to the clock for a second then focused back to a sleeping Lightning. It was three in the afternoon and her sister was still asleep. She remembered how early Lightning would get up in the morning, even on her days off she would wake as early as 6am and find something to occupy her mind, and she wouldn't sleep until that evening either. The pinkette reached out to touch her sister's face but was distracted when she noticed something odd.

'_A band aid? Did Lightning hurt herself?'_

The band aid was positioned across her cheek and stopped just below her jaw. She wanted to wake her but knew she probably needed the rest so instead she just kissed her forehead and pulled away.

The girl rolled over in the bed and lazily slid out of it. In a way she really did not feel like moving. She walked to the window in Lightning's room and pulled open the curtains. Serah flinched at the outside sight and quickly closed them back. It seemed today was going end nasty in Eden. Phoenix wasn't shining like it was earlier, and the skies were painted grey with blotches of black darkening them. The girl frowned a bit and pressed her hand against the window. Her stomach started turning and twisting up in knots as her mind wandered on about a certain someone.

Her fingers played with the crystal ring in her hand. She closed her eyes and stopped, clenching the ring tightly in the palm of her hand. She had no idea why she was still hanging on to this. After earlier, she should have just tossed it in the ocean or something. Why was she still clinging to this piece of jewelry? It meant nothing anymore, now that her and Lightning were together again. Anything dealing with Vanille-

_'If Fang is who you want then go!.'_  
><em><br>__'_ Go on back to her I don't care anymore, I'm done with you.._.'___

_'I can't believe I actually fell for someone like you..'_

She was angry. Everything she said was out of anger. Then what made it worse is that Vanille was calling out to her and she didn't even stop, look back, or answer her. Serah gasped a little at the terrible memory as she dropped her head back against the window sill. Her stomach was still twisting and turning from the guilt of earlier. Poor Vanille, she didn't deserve such an angry out-lash from her. The girl was only trying to protect her from Fang. Just as Serah was trying to do for her. Yet she seen it as something totally different and flipped out on her. Who knows where Vanille is now. With Serah's words of harsh judgment she probably went back to the only person she knew would comfort her, even if it was for a little while. After that it would just be hell for her from there on out. Serah didn't even want to picture what something like that would be like. Life with Fang had to be like hell on earth the way Vanille described it to her. Her conscious started eating at her again.

_'I won't let anyone hurt you ever again..'_

That was a promise broken, and she hated herself. If something bad happens to Vanille it would be on her.

Serah jumped when she felt a pair of lips touch the side of her cheek. "O-oh." So into her own thoughts and guilt she didn't even realize when Lightning moved out of bed. "Y-you're awake.." She said vaguely. The girl released the ring that she had tightly in her hand and moved in to give her sister a hug.

"Serah.." The older pinkette called out softly to the girl as she gathered her up into her arms for a hug. Lightning could easily sense that something was bothering Serah, but she also knew that she would more than likely tell her it was nothing. Just like that night at the club.

_'Don't look at me like that..you don't care!.'___

Maybe at one point she didn't. Well she tried to act as if she didn't. Lightning would never stop caring about Serah, even if she wanted to. "Don't ever think that I don't care..alright?" She said plainly and hugged the girl tighter.

"I know Claire.." Serah said and gently pulled back from her sister's hug. She attempted a smile but it faded just as quickly as it showed up. She wasn't in no happy or gleeful mood right now. She just felt terrible and regretful. "I care about you too. And I don't want my actions to make you think I don't care about you." She reached out and grazed her fingers along the older's cheek. "Just know, I would never intentionally hurt you.." The younger moved closer to her sister and laid her forehead against her's. A tear fell from Serah's eye and splashed onto Lightning's leg just as she planted a breif kiss to her lips. "Okay..?" Serah whispered and pulled back again.

Lightning felt a dark cloud form over her head. She knew exactly what Serah meant by those words. Why else would she be crying? She drew back from the girl quickly. Her next step was to question her but, Lightning couldn't for her own selfish reasons. If this is how Serah wanted to play then she would play too, even if she was the one who would wind up being played in the end. Just like last time. Lightning knew how unstable her own feelings were yet she so stupidly decided to go along with Serah's game instead of voicing her feelings. Just to be with her even if it was for a little while. "Alright, Serah." Lightning replied.

Lightning sighed and turned her gaze to the window. It had been one hell of a day for her. She had just went to sleep about an hour and a half ago and she was still extremely tired. However, other things had Lightning's mind occupied. That woman. Lightning looked at Serah, watching as the girl prepared to lay down, but she quickly grabbed the girl and pulled her into her arms. She didn't know why she did it but it felt correct. "Serah.."

"_Ah, I remember you. Fang spoke out. "You're that woman I met in the bar the other day, Serah's sister.."_

"I need you to.." Lightning paused and closed her eyes.

Serah buried her face into Lightning's shoulder. She needed this, a comforting hug, or whatever this was that Lightning was doing. "What is it Claire..?"

"Don't take this the wrong way but," She shook her head and opened her eyes. "You may not like what I'm going to say, but.." She didn't want to remember earlier.

Serah touched the older's face as she did earlier, where the band aid was covering. "What happened here?"

"Listen to me." Lightning grabbed Serah's hand and laid it in her lap. "I want you to stay away from Vanille.."

Serah laughed and rolled her eyes. Not taking her sister's request seriously, she decided to joke about it. "Aww? Why are you feeling jealous Claire?"

Lighting rarely got jealous, and she wasn't right now either. She was extremely worried if anything. "No I'm not jealous!" She shot back coldly then sighed. Something was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon. She could feel it in her stomach and it wasn't anything good either. "I just want you to be safe..Serah"

"And you think Vanille is a threat to me?" She was still taking this as a joke.

No, not Vanille but that woman she's with.

'_Yor sister..'_

"No.." Lightning breathed in and tried again to push earlier events from her mind. "Just keep away from her. Serah I'm serious!" Then that dream. The behemoth.

'_Your sister..'_

That damn woman, that fucking woman. Lightning could still hear her words resonating in her mind echoing so loud she thought Fang was right there.

"_Your sister, I'm going to kill her.."_


	23. Darker Moments

**Ahh! Here you guys go! Sorry for the long long wait! At least it wasn't as long as the last one. Only two months this time! :D Meh, still a bit long huh? :/**

**ANYWAY! Thanks! Thanks! And Thanks! For all the reviews, and all you wonderful readers who are still keeping up with this! It makes me happy to know that I have people that are still reading along! I love you guys! XOXO! \(^O^)/**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23: Darker Moments.<strong>

_Lightning glared down darkly at the woman she had pinned against the floor in front of her. There was silence surrounding the three of them. Hope stood off to the side, being only a witness to the current situation. "I'm waiting.." Lightning spoke with a growl in the back of her throat. She pushed down harder with her foot on the woman's throat. "I'm not playing games with you."_

_The woman choked out a laugh then struggled to breathe back in. "Ah, I remember you." She felt the hold Lightning had on her neck release a bit, unblocking her airway enough for her to breathe properly. "You're that woman from the bar, Serah's sister. She attacked at the first sight of pink hair and had forgotten about this woman. However she wasn't at all sorry about it. "Your sister.."_

"Claire!?" Serah shook her sister several times, before Lightning came from her daydream state. "What's with you? Did something happen today?"

Lightning held the side of her face where the band aid was. The gash there had not hurt since she'd gotten it but now it was stinging terribly. She shook her head and sighed out. Nothing had scared her more than loosing this girl or someone making any threats towards the girl. A flash of a bloody Serah crept back to the front of her mind, the blue behemoth, looming over her with its claws embedded deep in her corpse. Lightning let out an uncharacteristic gasp, which sounded more like a pained squeal.

The younger pinkette's eyebrows furrowed as she glared at the woman. "Alright Lightning, you're beginning to worry me now." She frowned and slanted her lips to the side. "You tell me to stay away from Vanille with no explanation, and now-"

Lightning could hear Serah but none of her words were reaching her. She knew she'd end up having to give the girl the true explanation on why she wanted her to steer clear of Vanille since Serah wasn't taking the whole _Vanille being dangerous_ seriously. But she couldn't come out and just say "_Oh Fang is trying to kill you by the way."_ either. So-

"I'm jealous.." Lighting said. And it quickly stopped Serah's chattering. Saying those two words made her regret it and wished she could snatch them right back. They were true but Lightning didn't want Serah to know that. She didn't want anyone to know that. But she was in a desperate positon. Her eyes narrowed.

"You're.." Serah smirked a little. Amused by her sister's confession but also moved by it. "But why?" Serah asked softly. "I'm here with you."

Lightning closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. She couldn't even explain her jealousy. She was bad at these types of things. Feelings were still a foreign thing to her. So she improvised. "Uh…" She sighed out and her heart started beating.

Serah blinked and folded her arms. "I'm listening.." She was still smirking.

Lightning looked away. "I just think about the people that has had you, and it angers me. Then there's Vanille. The one you're so in love with. It hurts Serah, to see you with anyone else." Lightning wanted to hold those last few words back but she had to go through with this all the way if she wanted it to work.

"Yeah.." Serah stood up from the bed and walked over to the computer desk in the corner of Lightning's room and sat down in the chair. She glared over at Lightning at first then her eyes grew sad. She was glad to hear Lightning say that, but now it felt awkward considering what happened the other day. "But I'm a slut to you..remember?" Serah was still extremely hurt by Lightning's harsh words the other day. She glared at the woman again when she felt her eyes start to tear up. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and looked down at the screen to distract herself from having to look at her. "Why would it hurt you so much if I'm just a slut to you..?"

'_Fuck..'_ The woman thought. She figured Serah would just go for those few words. She didn't expect all these questions. _'The hell Lightning, think!'_ "I was just lashing out. It was anger. While I was being truthful, I didn't mean it to hurt you.." She said. The woman stood from the bed and slowly started gaiting towards the younger. Serah was still playing around with her phone to notice that Lightning was walking towards her. It wasn't until the older woman stopped directly in front of her that she realized she was there. Serah looked up at her sister, tears running from those vibrant cerulean eyes. Lightning grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her up from the chair.

'_You can't protect her..you won't even see it coming..I've come so close..I won't fail this last time..' _

Lightning yanked Serah close to her, knocking the girl's phone from her hand, and embraced her into a tight hug. "I just can't.." her heart started to race again. "I can't stand the sight of seeing anyone else with you," She stepped back a bit and started pushing Serah back towards the bed. "Except.." She clasped the girl's cheek gently and Serah leaned into it without hesitation.

"Except..?" Serah repeated. Her eyes were still spilling over with tears.

Lightning looked the girl in the eyes but Serah quickly tore her eyes away. Lightning grabbed her chin and held it between her fingers forcing her to look at her. "Except for me.." The woman finished. The back of Serah's legs eventually hit the bed and she stumbled back and landed against the soft surface, Lightning landing on top of her. "You're mine.." Lightning said and gripped the girl's collar bone.

Serah chuckled quietly and shivered a little at Lightning's action. "Your's huh..?" She sniffled and wiped her eyes. Lightning's face leaned in close to her's and she was so desperate to lean up and just- "Prove it.." She whispered softly to the woman.

Lightning leaned in and placed a light peck on the girl's lips then pulled away in a slow motion to study the girl's face for a second. Serah's eyes were narrowed at the woman and she even huffed. "What was that!?" She asked then turned her head away. "You said I'm yours and that's what I-" The woman grabbed Serah's face and laid another peck on her lips.

"Claire this is not what-"

Then another..

"You said that.."

Another.

"That I was.."

And another. She pulled back and looked at the younger again, giving her cheek soft touches as she wiped away what was still remaining of her tears. She pecked her lips again but they lingered over the girl's this time. Serah breathed in deeply but was also a little jagged. She then swallowed hard and bit down on her own lip. Lightning's kisses were like fire, lighting her up every time she did. "Light.."

"_I'm going to kill her.." Wow this woman was bold. Lightning didn't see that one coming in the least. Her sister? Lightning's anger quickly shot through the roof. She grabbed the woman's wrist and started twisting it. Fang grunted out but the pain wasn't enough to make her scream out. "You've got a lot of guts to come in here and say that to my face." Lightning growled out and started twisting the woman's wrist harder. She chuckled. "Only way you're gonna even get to Serah," Her foot pressed down hard on the woman's neck, so hard that Fang started gasping for air. "Is through me." _

Quickly Lightning caught Serah's lip against her own and gently started to kiss her. Serah closed her eyes and began to kiss back. Her eyes fluttered shut slowly as her arms wrapped around the woman's back, smoothly caressing against it. Serah's heart was thumping away so hard that she found herself gasping as the kiss continued.

"_Aaargh!" Fang screamed out as the twisting action to her wrist continued._

"_Light!" Hope called out to the woman, he looked at Fang who's eyes were growing bloodshot from the lack of air to her lungs. She was coughing and choking a little bit. "Lightning no, stop it! You're going to kill her!" He grabbed the woman's leg to move it from over Fang's throat but that wasn't possible. Lightning just swung her arm and punched Hope in face. His head jerked to the side and he fell back a bit. "Wh-what..?" his eyes grew in shock as he grabbed his cheek. A line of blood trickled down from the corner of his lip but wiped it away. This wasn't supposed to happen this way. Everything was going completely wrong. "Lightning!" He shouted out again. "Stop it! You kill her you'll end up in jail. You're no longer part of the military anymore so they'll look at this as murder." _

_Lightning let up a bit but not completely. Fang's hand frantically swiped around the floor, searching for any object that she could get a hold of. Her fingers wrapped around an object and she quickly snatched it up and slashed the woman across the face with it, a piece of glass. Lightning then released the woman quickly and flinched away. Blood spilled like water off the bridge of her nose and on to the floor._

"Claire.." Serah called softly. "Claire!" She screeched out. "Lightning!"

The woman's eyes quickly snapped open when Serah called out to her for a third time. The sudden taste of copper started to wash over her tongue. She pulled back from Serah then seen the area where the blood was coming from, her neck. "Hmm.." The woman turned away and glanced outside the window. She needed to pull herself together. She was holding in too much anger right now to do anything with Serah, thinking about that stupid woman and her threats. Lightning curled her hand into a fist and shot up from the bed quickly.

"Hey.." Serah called to the woman. She held onto the side of her neck where Lightning had bit. It didn't bother her but she could tell that it was bothering her sister. "It's okay Light. You didn't hurt me."

Only because she called to her in time. It wouldn't have been intentionally but she could have hurt her. "…" Lightning sighed and walked into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind her.

Serah frowned and shook her head but she wasn't upset. Lightning was easy to read. Others always found the woman hard to figure out, but Serah was the only one who could do it. Lightning was hiding something. She was also flustered and frustrated about it too. Lightning was most of the time good at masking up her problems with her coldness, which would make it harder for Serah to figure out what was really going on, but today she was horribly failing at it. Serah could see she was trying her hardest to keep it together but that mask was deteriorating quickly.

"Ligh-"

"Ugh.." Serah groaned upon hearing the ringing of the doorbell. She slapped her forehead and slid from the bed. Always when she was in the middle of something someone wanted to come along and visit. Serah walked towards the door mumbling angrily as she did, frustrated that someone was disturbing a moment her and Lightning was having. There was a knock this time as Serah drew closer to the door. She growled lowly. A thought then crossed her mind when she felt a light breeze blow over her skin. "Darn it.." So in a rush to shoo this person away she didn't grab anything to cover her half naked body. "Oh well." She mumbled. Maybe if the person seen her like this they'd get the picture and leave. She pushed her finger against the button and the door opened halfway. The pinkette peeked her head outside and remained quiet. Her expression revealed that she was shocked but switched back to an angry one. Serah huffed, ducked back inside and pushed the button to shut the door, but the person on the outside, Vanille grabbed the door before it can shut all the way.

Serah clenched her teeth and Vanille could see the muscles along her jawline flex as she did. "S-serah?"

"Tss.." The pinkette ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. "Are you…stalking me now?" She was still whispering. How did she know where she was? "What do you want Vanille?" Serah said in the most irritated tone. A part of her felt bad about the choice of tone she used when she saw the red-head flinch, but remembering the emotional pain she bought on her she didn't care.

"Why are you whisper-"

"Shh quiet!" Serah said and covered the girl's mouth. "don't worry about it! Now answer my question!" she dropped her hand from the girl's mouth.

"Uh-uhm.." Vanille began.

"Uh-uhm what!?" Serah now shouted in a low whisper at the girl her voice grinded at the back of her throat as she did, making the red-head step back. "What do want!?"

"Why are you being so mean to me Serah!?" The girl asked. Her voice cracked as she spoke, hinting that tears were on the way. "Why are you treating me this way?"

"Uh-ho!" Serah laughed a little bit, covering her mouth so it wasn't too loud. She peeked over her shoulder making sure Lightning wasn't in sight. When there was no sign of the woman she looked back outside, glaring t Vanille. "What were you expecting Vanille? Some type of happy warm welcome!?"

"No.." The girl said lowly. "It's just.." She looked down at the ground. It had been a long crazy day for her. It was like everyone in the world now hated her all because of the trouble that Fang had been causing Serah. Now she felt all alone, running around in darkness, trying to find the comfort she was looking for but couldn't find it. "Serah I need you.."

Serah chuckled and turned her back against the door. "You need me?" She laughed again and shook her head. The smile on her face faded and turned into sadness. Her eyes started to water and her heart skipped a beat twice. "Vanille.." She started but paused. Her mind began to wander, thinking and remembering all of the moments with her and Vanille. How did they get here? How was it so easy to go from loving someone, caring for someone, to despising them?

The door slid all the way open and when it did, Serah grabbed the red-head's arm and pulled her inside. The two stood in front of one another staring each other down. Serah's was much colder than Vanille's, resulting the girl to shy away and look elsewhere. Then the fact that the pinkette was partially naked wasn't helping. "You..need..me?" The pinkette said calmly.

Vanille paused and stared for a moment. Her mind was swirling with a thousand things to say but she couldn't gather the correct words, fearing that it would come out wrong and she'd upset Serah even further. "Serah-" her eyes traveled from the floor to settle on the pinkette but Serah was quickly walking I her direction. "!"

"Is this a game to you Vanille?" Serah walked up on the girl and grabbed her shoulders. "One minute you need me, the next minute you don't. One moment you're so in love with me the next moment you're not!" Her nails pressed into her skin and she pushed the girl back, until she was up against the wall. "You had me.." She pressed harder against the girl's shoulders with her nails then slowly dragged towards her neck, breaking skin as she did. Dots of blood showed along the flesh there, but Vanille didn't seem fazed by it. She felt she deserved this. "You had me but you-"

The pinkette's hand released from the girl's shoulder and wrapped around the back of Vanille's neck, pulling the girl's face in towards her's. Their foreheads now touched. "Serah.." Vanille whispered her eyes bored into the pinkette's, quietly pleading for forgiveness. She wrapped her arms around the girl's waist and pulled her in closer, closing up that small gap that was still there. She glided her finger along the lower part of the girl's back, continuing to pull the girl closer until Serah's half naked body was touching her own. Vanille could feel her own hands trembling against the girl's bare skin as they trailed up her back. All of this was absent. Her mind was everywhere but where it should be. "I'll forget about Fang okay?" Her fingers were now smoothly tangling within Serah's hair. The Farron's expression still held that look of anger as Vanille spoke. "I just want to be with you.." She leaned forward to kiss the girl but Serah pushed back and stepped away.

"You think-" Serah shook her head slowly. "You think it's that easy?"

"You kicked me to the curb for Fang and you think that you can just-" She clenched her hand into a fist then walked towards the red-head then walked away again. She turned away from Vanille and placed her hand against her forehead. "You!" She turned and pointed at the red-head. "I-" She walked back towards Vanille again, grabbing her shoulders as she did earlier. "I hate you.." Serah said then turned her eyes into another direction to avoid the pitiful look on Vanille's face. "It's so damn hard to get over you. You've caused me so much stress, pain, and heartache until I don't know what to do with myself. A part of me wants to let go, but another part just wants to take you back and just live with all the suffering that comes with being with you. All because I love you. And I hate it. I hate that I love you so much."

She stepped away and fell to her knees on the floor. She buried her face in her hands and started to cry soundlessly. Vanille immediately ran to her side and pulled her into a comforting hug, but Serah pushed her away. "Don't fucking touch me!" She spat rudely to her ex-lover. Vanille bit her lip and frowned. Serah wasn't holding anything back with her anymore. This is what scared her the most. Now she had no one to turn to. Everyone hated her. Even Serah. "Don't do this to me.." She grabbed her arm but Serah shook her off. "You're all I have Serah. You're the only one that makes me feel-"

"Being with you is a pain, but being without you is just killing me inside. But I can't-" She wiped her eyes and sent a dark glare the red-head's way. "I hate you.." she repeated again.

She went to grab onto the pinkette's arm again but Serah pushed her away and stood up. Vanille's face reflected sadness as she looked down at her hands. She'd messed up something so good, probably the best thing in her life. Here she was trying to fix it, make it better again but it seemed she was only making it worse. Serah was rejecting her, something she never expected and she wasn't showing any signs that she was feeling bad about it. "What am I supposed to do?" She asked, choking up as she did. She was trying to hold back from crying but it wasn't helping she was tired of shedding tears because it was making her look so pathetic.

"Why are you asking me?" Serah began walking towards the front door. She grabbed onto Vanille's arm in the process, leading the girl in that direction. "Go back to where you came from." She opened the door and pushed the girl out. The pinkette grit her teeth and swallowed down a lump in the back of her throat. Her eyes met with Vanille's puffy red ones. "G-go.." She started. Vanille's eyebrows furrowed outward, creating the expression of a sad puppy. Serah inhaled quietly but it was a bit sharp. She squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head. "Go back to Fang. I'm sure she'll take _good _care of you. That's why you went back-"

"Serah that's not true I told-"

"Bull shit!" Serah yelled loudly. "You c-can't just play with someone's emotions Vanille.."

She was taken aback by what the girl said to her. "Ser-" Vanille reached to touch the girl's face but her hand just fell back to her side. "Serah please just….forgive me."

"Go away Vanille." Serah began to speak, her hand tensed at her side. "I never want.." The pinkette slowly stepped back from the door. "Just stay out of my life.." She said and allowed the door to shut.

"Serah!"

Vanille knocked on the door.

"Serah!"

The pinkette sat on the floor with her back against the door. She dropped her head into her hands and began to cry. She tried to keep it quiet but decided against it and burst into tears.

"Serah?"

She jumped and looked up quickly. It was Lightning there. Serah wiped her eyes and started to speak but Lightning cut her off. "You don't have to pretend." Lightning knelt down next to the girl. "I know it's not easy to get over someone Serah so you don't-"

"I am over her!" Serah barked back.

"Yeah?" Lightning opened her other hand, revealing the ring that Serah always kept so close to her. "I take it that this from Vanille. I've watched for a while how sad you get when you take the smallest glance at this thing."

Serah turned her head off to the side when Lightning held the necklace up in front of her. She refused to admit that she was right but she was.

_'Marry me Serah..'_

She slapped the necklace from Lightning's hand and it rolled off across the floor somewhere. "As I thought.." Light responded. She reached over to gather Serah into her arms but the younger scooted away. "No." She said and shook her head. "Don't touch me.." She said dryly. "I don't want you near me.."

"..." Lightning was baffled by Serah's reaction. Her arms were still open from when she was going to embrace the girl. She was stuck in thought. Slightly scared of what was going to happen next. She seen Serah stand up and start walking towards the bedroom. Was she going to leave? What was going through her head? She had to know.

The older woman snapped from her trance and quickly walked towards her room where Serah had went. Lightning leaned against the door jamb, watching her sister. Serah had put her clothes back on, and now she was walking around the room as if she were looking for something but Lightning could tell it was just aimless pacing. Serah was really trying to figure out what she wanted to do. "Can we talk?" Lightning asked. She walked over to the bed and sat down. Even though she spoke Serah did not respond and continued to pace throughout the room. "Serah!" Lightning called to the girl, stopping her from pacing.

Serah stopped with her back to her sister. She could feel her eyes just staring her down, waiting for her to just turn around. "Light.." She said lowly. She doubted that the woman even heard her. "It's..it's nothing against you, I just.."

Lightning stood from the bed and walked up behind the girl. She placed her hands on her shoulders but the moment Serah felt the comforting touch, she shook it off. "I said don't touch me!"

Lightning's expression was one of puzzlement. Her stomach cringed and twisted at this current situation and even sent chills all over her body. She was also becoming extremely agitated. However she said nothing. Her arms fell back to her sides and she just stood there behind Serah, waiting for some response.

"I'm and really angry right now." She said. "And I do stupid things when I get like this." She recalled the time when she engaged in sexual activity with Vanille, and didn't remember anything afterwards. "I just don't want to do anything I'll regret."

Lightning's hands raised to touch the girl's shoulders but she stopped and instead just folded her hands atop her own head. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back a little. "Talk to me Serah, I'm not going to know what's wrong if you don't speak to me. You're angry. I know that it has to do with Vanille, so speak on it."

Easier said than done. Light claims she wants to hear everything but Serah knows she really doesn't. Then it involves Vanille. Lightning doesn't even want her to speak that name around her.. "I hate her. That's all you need to know."

"No you don't. You're just hurting and think that you do."

"Like you know.."

"I do." Lightning said acridly. "I convinced myself for two years that I hated you."

Serah pressed her lips into a straight line. "That's different.."

"No it's the same you just refuse to think so."

She growled and huffed. "Claire I don't want to argue right now.."

"Then what do you want to do Serah?"

"Let's talk about you..." She held her hand to her chest and curled it into a fist. "I know there is something you're not telling me."

Lightning stiffened and took a few steps back from Serah. "What are you talking about?" She ooked towards the the bedroom door. Now would be a great time to just run out. "Where is this coming from all of a sudden."

"The way you're acting." Serah responded.

"…"

"You'd never admit that you're jealous. But when you did you looked frantic. Then earlier how you said Vanille was dangerous." Serah turned towards Lightning. "What's going on Light? More importantly, who are you trying to protect me from?"

* * *

><p>"Fang?"<p>

Vanille called as she entered her home. There was no answer so she assumed that the woman was out. However there was soft music playing from the kitchen. "Fang?" She peeked into the kitchen but no one was there. The lights were out but the television was on. "Hmm.." She hummed sadly. Vanille slowly staggered over to her sofa and laid across it, burying her face into her arms. A small pout started then came an all-out cry. She'd originally went to see Lightning, to talk to the woman about Serah, not knowing the younger pinkette was already over there. And judging by the way she came to the door in her under garments, they were doing a lot more than just talking.

Vanille's cries became harder at the thought of it. It was really over. Serah had Lightning now and she was the last thing on her conscious.

_'I hate you..'_

Vanille cringed. She remembered when Serah spoke those same words to Lightning that day. After that she thought that Serah would never forgive Lightning and that everything in their relationship would be perfect. But she just _had_ to convince Serah that Lightning was sorry because she felt sorry for her. Now look what she did. She practically threw her lover into Lightning's arms and now it was impossible to get her back.

_'If Lightning were to show up today or tomorrow, Serah would drop you without a second thought.'_

All along Vanille knew Lebreau was right. She just thought that Serah's love for her would over grow her undying love for Lightning. How stupid of her..how foolish.

Now here she was, wondering what if?

What if she would have just left the situation with Lightning and Serah alone? What if she wouldn't have taken pity on Lightning the way she did? But more importantly, what if she would have just listened to Serah about Fang? If she would have just let Serah allow her friends to handle the woman?

Vanille rolled from her spot on the sofa and smacked into the hard wooden floor. The pain vibrated through the left side of her body but she barely reacted to it.

She would still be with her. She would still be able to hold, touch, and kiss her. But..

She rolled over on her back and stared up at the ceiling. It was dark, pitch black, an empty space. Just like the deep void in her heart. Vanille choked back a cry but the tears still came.

_'You care so much about her but she doesn't give a damn about you..'_

She shuddered and rolled over on her stomach. Fang claimed her feelings and her actions were all out of love but were they? She shook her head. No that was impossible. Love was not living in fear of someone. And that's what it was with Fang. She was always scared worrying about when the next hit was going to come, or how violent their altercations would be.

With Serah, she didn't have to worry about any of that. Every day was always a happy one. Despite the small lies and secrets here and there, all else was great once they had a better understanding of one another.. "And I threw all that away just to..."

She curled her fist against the floor as an anxious groan erupted from her lungs. She swallowed down a lump in her throat, coughing a few times after. She breathed in a sharp breath exhaled, and coughed again.

_'I hate you..'_

Her fist clashed with the floor again. Her breathing started to worsen and her body began to shake.

"I-I hate.." She coughed harshly. Her eyes squeezed shut briefly then opened again to the darkness of the room. She could see nothing but it felt like everything around her was spinning. "I hate..me too Serah.." She uttered to herself. "That's why I have..I have to.."

Vanille wearily picked herself up from the floor and stood up. She hardly had any strength to stand straight, so she was slouched over with her legs bent inward. The girl looked towards the kitchen area and began walking in the direction of it. Because of her current state, she wobbled and staggered the entire way, bumping into and knocking things over as she did.

"Vanille!?"

Said girl heard her name being called but she did not turn around or even respond to it. When she finally made it to the kitchen she fell across the center counter and just laid there. Her heart started to race faster than usual, causing her to clench her hand there and let out a loud unusual groan.

"Vanille!?" Her name was called again.

She breathed in again deeply, then again twice. The muscles in her chest was growing tighter. "Leave me..ah-ah! Leave me alone!"

"Ahhhhh!" Her body slipped from the counter and she was once again back on the floor, groaning and clenching her chest. "P-please..please..I just..I just wanna.." She coughed again and tried to hold back her cries to avoid the muscle constrictions from becoming worse. "Please I just want this pain to stop!"

"Leave you alone huh?" Fang stepped over the girl and kneeled down by her side. "That's what you want huh?"

Vanille nodded her head. "Y-yes..all of this i-is your fault.." She said through strained breathes. "If you would have just left us alone-"

"Haha!" Fang laughed obnoxiously and placed the palm of her hand along the side of the girl's face. Vanille shivered. "I'm not the only one to blame here."

"I-I didn't mean too..I'm sorry I was just-"

"You're always sorry.." Fang spoke. Her voice was monotone now, and the expression on her face blank. "All you know how to do is hurt the people who care for you." Her hand slipped from the girl's cheek and found its way around her neck, gently squeezing there at first. Vanille just slowly inhaled and closed her eyes. "And does that matter to you? No, because as long as you're satisfied in the end, to hell with everyone else's feelings." She squeezed tighter on the girl's neck, but Vanille didn't even put up a fight as she normally would. She just laid there helplessly gasping for air.

"No," Fang said and let go of the girl's neck. Vanille's eyes were bloodshot and still teary. "I'm not going to kill you.." The woman said as she rose to her feet. She looked towards the door then back at the girl as she sat up. "Killing you is just an easy way for you to escape your guilt. You deserve to suffer."

"N-no…" She reached for the woman but Fang vanished around the corner.

Suffer..?

Vanille couldn't deal anymore. She was tired of suffering. She'd been suffering for so long and it felt like the cycle would never end, unless she did it herself.

She reached up over the countertop for a knife and pulled one out of the block. Her hands trembled violently as she looked at the sharp object clutched within her hands. This was the only way, the only way she could get away from this. All this stress, all of this pain. She turned the knife towards her chest, both hands on the handle, still trembling. Her eyes stared at the sharp tip that was slightly shimmered in the little bit of light peeking through the window.

_'Do it...'_

Vanille inhaled nervously and started by bringing the knife to her chest slowly, but paused. She pulled the sharp object back again then closed her eyes. Her thoughts wandered to Serah of course, their happiest moments together. She smiled. Before she went, she wanted her final thoughts to be happy ones. "Good-" She started inching the knife towards her chest again, sniffling and crying as she did_._

'I hate you..'

"I can't..." She pulled the object back for a final time then swiftly bought it back towards her and-

* * *

><p>"<em>Forgive me." He mumbled to himself and adjusted the tie around his neck. He looked at himself in the mirror and felt nothing more than disgust, and shame. She'd probably look at him the same. How could he? How could he take part in something so cruel and underhanded, and to someone she loves.<em>

_Someone she loves.._

_But he hates.._

_He cleared his throat and sighed, not a calm one but a frustrated one. There was a lot going on in his head at the moment and most of it he could not handle. A large portion of it was guilt._

"_Forgive me.." He said again but a little louder. He shut his eyes and dropped his head. Locks of platinum fell over his eyes as his hand tensed tightly around the turquoise tie around his neck. He took in a breath, a shallow one. He exhaled then breathed in again._

"_Forgive me.." His breathing was growing more and more shallow as he pulled at the tie. He groaned out and his eyes shot open. The veins in his neck began to bulge and become more defined. "Nyk.." He coughed, gasped, and suddenly fell to his knees. Everything started to spin, his face was slowly turning red and his head was becoming light. "For…forg-give….." He coughed and fell on his side he pulled harder until he completely blocked off his airway._

"Hope?"

_Everything was going black. He could feel the life slowly leaving him, yet he smiled, for the first time in a long time, he'd be pain free, and guilt free. He'd rather die with all the terrible things he's done rather than share it with her and forever cause her grief._

"Hope, aye!" there was a tap to his shoulder.

"H-huh!?" Hope shook his head then looked around. _'What am I doing in the middle of the street?'_ striking emeralds glanced up at the sky in a confused manner. Thunder clapped and a flash of lightning burst through the dark masses above.

'_Lightning..' _

The rain then started to fall. Hope continued to blankly stare up at the sky. His heart was thumping so fast the he was breathing in heavily however he didn't realize it. His head was pounding and his stomach was churning. He felt sick.

'_Lightning..'_

Hope extended his arm out in front of him and closed his fist as if he were grabbing something but only caught the air between his fingers. "Ligh-" he paused and swallowed. It was suddenly so hard to speak her name. His body shook from a chill that rushed over him and he fell to ground. "I can't…I-I can't I-" He breathed in sharply then bought his arms up over his head. "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He shouted. His outcry echoed loudly throughout the city of Eden. Resonating his grief, pain, and guilt.

'_Forgive me…'_ He thought in his mind.

* * *

><p><strong>What's wrong with Hope? Guess you'll have to wait to find out. See you guys next chapter! <strong>

**Let me know your thoughts! :D**


	24. Sins of The Past Pt I

**And here You go guys! Thanks for the feedback :D **

**Side Note: A majority of these next two chapters will be from Hope's point of view so it'll be written in 1****st**** person. There will be sections that are written in 3****rd**** person and those are the pieces where Hope is either listening in on something, or is not present.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24: Sins of the Past Pt. I<strong>

_**3 Years Ago..**_

_**Hope's P.O.V.**_

"_You're forcing it." Lightning mumbled as she stared directly into my eyes. Both our blades were against one another's but Lightning was putting on more force than I was. I was struggling to keep his legs steady, and the grip I had on my sword was letting up. Lightning however didn't even look like she was putting in any effort. We'd been at this all day and I was tired, but not ready to give up._

_Lightning pushed down on my sword, catching me off guard. Next thing I knew, a sharp pain rattled through the entirety of my skeletal system. I felt it mostly in my chest since that where the blow had hit. My body flew back a few meters from the impact and I a soon landed against the ground of the grassy plain. While I was picking myself up from the ground, trying to recuperate, Lightning rushed up and held her sword to my throat. I closed my eyes and breathed heavily as I reached off to the side of me to grab my sword but Lightning grabbed my arm and held it against the ground. "You still have a lot more practice to do." The woman spoke as she stood up. She extended a hand out to help me up._

_I sat up from the ground and frowned. How was I going to make it into the military like this? I just knew that I was ready for this but it seemed I was wrong. Lightning and I had been training for months now, preparing me for BT. But every time I thought I was ready, Lightning always proved me wrong. "Yeah," I said sadly, and reached out and grabbed onto the woman's hand. "But how much longer? I feel like I'll never be ready."_

"_You can't rush these things Hope." She explained and pulled me up from the ground. "These things take time."_

"_Easy for you to say. You excelled through the ranks quickly."_

"_You say that as if I glided through without difficulty."_

"_Didn't you?" I asked. I picked up my sword from the ground and returned it to the sheathe on my back._

"_Worry not about what I did to get my rank, and worry about your own." The woman scolded to me calmly. I rolled my eyes and chuckled before looking up at the sky. The sun was starting to set. "Go home, and rest. We'll meet up again tomorrow in the afternoon."_

"_But I'm not ready to quit yet!" I shook my head and pulled the sword from my back. It was way too early to quit and I was eager to keep going until I got this right. I stepped back and stood in a battle position. "It's too early to stop. I'll go all night if I have too."_

_Lightning admired the determination that I had, but it also puzzled her as to why I was so adamant on pushing myself so hard. I was starting to remind her of herself when she first came to the decision to join the military. "No, that's enough. Overexerting yourself isn't good Hope. Now go home." The woman said and started walking away, But I only continued to follow behind her._

"_No." I ran towards the woman and stepped out in front of her. Both my hands grabbed her shoulders. I saw that look in her eyes that she gave others that invaded her personal space. I almost flinched but didn't. "Please, just one more spar?" I asked. _

_Lightning rolled her eyes and just stared at me. I coulnd't tell if she was contemplation on socking me, or deciding on whether or not to say yes or no. I knew she could read the mixed expression of desperation, determination on my face so "I knew she wouldn't tell me- "No," She said and shrugged my hands from her shoulders._

_She started to become irritated. But it wasn't going to let her blow me off that quickly. "What's your rush Hope?"_

_I walked alongside the woman. I was quiet, briefly scratching the back of my head as I thought. "What's it matter?" I said and turned my head off to the side. I frowned a little. "I mean, you never know when something outrageous is going to happen. Cocoon is full of surprises and so is their government. You just have to be prepared you know? I want to be prepared, that way I can protect myself, and-" I turned to look at the woman, but she was just staring straight ahead. I always admired how calm and together Lightning was. "I want to be able to protect you."_

_The woman stopped quickly, I stopped with her. She foleded her arms, huffing as she did. "Don't waste your time. I'm fully capable of protecting myself. I need no one else's protection.."_

_I smiled and crossed my arms behind my head, starring up at the star littered sky. The woman had a point. She was always capable of covering herself. Lightning was the best that the military had right now. But- "You don't know that." My smile began to fade but my eyes still remained on the sky. "Anything could happen. You can't always watch yourself alone y'know."_

_Lightning clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "You worry too much.."_

"_Out of one of us someone has to.."_

_**15 Months After..**_

"_Estheim, soldier."_

_I turned around upon hearing a booming voice calling my name. "Lieutenant Amador, sir" I stood up straight and saluted my superior. A sign of respect._

"_At ease soldier." He said to me and I loosened up. "I see you're headed home."_

_I nodded firmly. "Yes sir, I don't really wish to since I have so much to do here, but my friends suggested it. They said they have something planned for me."_

_The Lieutenant nodded. "That's good, you haven't been home since you enlisted Corporal. Take the rest of the week off. "_

"_Sir no that's not really-"_

"_That's an order Estheim." The Lieutenant spoke. "I'll see you next week."_

"_Sir wait!" But he was gone. I sighed dejectedly and looked down at the floor. What was I supposed to do for a whole week. I didn't even wish to attend this party that my friends were throwing for me. "Well, it is my birthday after all.." I sighed and started walking for the front doors of the base. Maybe this was good for me it's been too long since I've done anything close to fun. I was always either running missions or helping in training new recruits. I never minded it since it kept me well occupied but through it all I had forgotten how it was to live. Amador was probably right, I did need this week off._

"_I wonder how she's doing?" An image of Lightning crossed my mind. It had been a long time since I had seen her, and I wanted to share so much with her. We were both within the Guardian Corps but, strangely I've never crossed paths with her since he enlisted. At one point I started to feel that she was avoiding me. But maybe she was busy. I started to wondered if she knew about my recent promotion to Corporal. I had hoped that she didn't so I'd be able to give her the news myself, but as close as she was to Amador, I wouldn't be shocked at all if the man already told her._

_A small smile appeared along my lips. The thought alone of finally seeing the woman after all this time really excited me, the others not so much. I cared for my friends but Lightning was really the only one I wished to see. If it was her who called me out tonight I wouldn't have hesitated. I wanted to share all the interesting experiences I went through, how it shaped me, and finally..my feelings for her._

_I'd dreamed of the day that I would finally tell the woman how much I'd cared for her, however I've never had the courage to do it and still doesn't. It's not that I'm afraid or anything, I just knew that I'd get rejected. I knew Lightning had eyes for someone else, and that someone was Serah._

"_Hmph.." I shook my head. There was a time when I liked Serah. She used to be a nice girl, innocent, caring, and kind. But after seeing how she tortures and teases Lightning on a daily basis, I started to distance myself from her. I could easily see how Lightning struggled with her feelings towards her sister, even when no one else did. She tried her hardest to hide it. But when Serah started toying with her, Lightning's hardness quickly faded. The I remembered the first time when I saw Lightning's façade shatter. That's when I really started to dislike that girl. Serah however was oblivious to Hope's dislike towards her and therefore continued to treat him nicely. _

_I growled out and dragged my hand down the length of my face. I really just wanted a quiet evening. I wasn't so much into partying since I couldn't really do anything. "Eighteen.." I mumbled to myself. What was I going to do at eighteen but sip virgin drinks. "This better be worth it…"_

* * *

><p>"<em>I was thinking we can all shout surprise! when he walks in! I'm sure he'll be shocked. Don't you think!?" Maqui asked with excitement. The male looked over a Lebreau who was washing down the Bar counter. She glanced up her blond friend and shook her head. Quickly she noticed his gleeful expression fade. "No Maqui we can't say surprise because it's not a surprise. He knows about this already." She finished and tossed the cleaning towel over the rack on the side. "Try something else."<em>

"_Aww man.." The boy frowned and hung his head. "Like what exactly?"_

"_Happy Birthday would be a good one." Serah giggled as she walked out from behind the kitchen door of the NORA bar. Maqui walked in right after. In her hand she held a large vanilla frosted cake that read; Happy Birthday Hope in blue frosting. She sat the cake down at the center of the counter and stepped back a bit to admire her work. "Hmm, what do you think!?"_

_Lebreau stepped to the girl's side, tilting her head slightly as she observed the cake. "It's perfect." She said then turned towards the girl. Serah smiled and did the exact same. "You think so?" Serah asked as she inched closer to the other. The brunette nodded her head and leaned in closer to the girl. "mm-hmm." She gently grabbed Serah's face and tilted a bit. "You got something right here." She said softly and licked a small bit of frosting from the pinkette's cheek. Her tongue then flicked down her jawline and dragged towards her lips._

_Serah felt her cheeks start to turn a little red at the action. She even tensed slightly before she grabbed Lebreau's face with both hands and kissed her._

"_Hey, hey you two!" Snow called out at the two girls. He and Gadot were just coming in. "None of that if I'm not involved!" His words however went ignored for they continued on with their kissing. "Serah! Lebreau!" The large blonde called out to them. The brunette rolled her eyes and slowly parted her lips away from the pinkette's Serah frowned, missing the brunette's lips the moment they were separated from her own. She snaked her arms around Lebreau's neck and gently tried to pulled her face back towards her._

_Lebreau huffed and glared up at the male. He had walked towards the both of them and was looking down at the two with a stupid and goofy smile. "You jealous?"_

"_A little bit!" He responded._

"_Well that's too bad." She responded and went back to kissing the pinkette. Her tongue dragged along Serah's bottom lip, causing the girl to moan out and grab at her lover's shirt. "I know." Lebreau whispered against the girl's lips laid her across the counter._

"_Alright!" A loud voice boomed from the entrance of the bar. The door opened and two people walked in. Gadot being the first, shouting at the top of his lungs. "Let's get this party start-" He paused in his words and turned to look at the scene that welcomed him when he walked in. "Uhm.."_

_The door opened again and the second person walked in, Lightning. The woman looked towards the left of her as Gadot did and felt her stomach flutter and twist. What the hell was this? Her eyes glared darkly at both the woman, mostly Lebreau. So this is what she was going to do? The game she was playing? Lightning knew exactly why she was doing this.._

'_**I love you Claire, and I know you feel the same way!' **_

_Now, Serah was trying to get under her skin, all because she denied having feelings for her. Lightning's hand tightened into a fist as she continued to watch the two's lips fumble along one another's. The sight made her sick and jealous really. She was holding herself back from leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of Lebreau. Instead, she grabbed a small glass that was sitting on the counter top, and threw it against the floor._

_The clash startled everyone, including Lebreau and Serah. The two quickly stood up. All turned and faced the older pinkette. "Ah, Lightning!" Snow shouted out and ran to the woman's side. "So glad you could-" Just before he could finish what he was about to say, Lightning sent a hard right-hook to his cheek. The blond male stumbled back and fell to the floor._

"_Idiot.." Lightning said before fixing her eyes on Serah. The younger Farron smirked at her older sister and wrapped her arms around Lebreau's neck. She then placed a light kiss to her cheek. Serah could see the rage in Lightning's eyes and became amused by it. "We'll finish this later Lebreau." She said and kissed at her neck again. "You can.." Her eyes were still staring at Lightning. "You can come to my place." She chuckled before pulling away and walking back into the kitchen."_

_Like hell she was! The moment Lebreau made an appearance at their house Lightning would-_

_She huffed and sat down at the counter. She didn't know what she would do. Hurting Lebreau would only make Serah mad at her. But seeing Serah with Lebreau was hurting her._

_**~xxxxxx~**_

_I pushed the bar door open and walked inside. Standing there at the door I could already feel some awkward vibes circulation through the air. "Hmm?" Everyone had looked like they'd seen a ghost or something. "Uhm.." I scratched the back of my head then crossed my arms nervously. "Did I miss something?"_

"_No," Snow said as he stood up from the floor. He shook his head and rubbed the side of his face. " Not at all. It's good to see you." He said and threw his arm around my shoulder. "Yuj, Maqui, get out here. Hope is here!" _

_I looked around at all the decorations that they had put up around the bar. Balloons littered the floor and the ceiling. Confetti along the bartop and tables. I walked towards one of the stools and sat down, folding my arms across one another. I still wanted to get up and walk out but it looked like they had put a lot of time into this and it would be rude of me to just up and leave now._

"_Here you go."_

_Lebreau sat down one shot glass in front of me then another and another, and several more. I watched the woman and blinked several times, puzzled at what the Lebreau was doing. _

_The barmaid hummed after she finished laying down the glasses along the table. She turned around and reached up on the counter and grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose._

"_Uhm, Lebreau.." I said lowly looking at the glasses as she filled them up. I knew where this was going. There was a total of eighteen glasses lined along the table. I quickly pushed back away from the bar and folded my arms against my chest. "I'm not playing this game!"_

"_Come on Hope!" Lebreau igged on. "You're eighteen years old today, an adult. Nothing wrong with having some drinks."_

"_Yeah!" Gadot stepped in, helping with Lebreau's persuasion. They both knew Hope fell under pressure easily. "Besides." He leaned over the counter and whispered in my ear. "Look to your left."_

"_Huh?" I took a glance in that direction. Sitting at the far end of the bar was- "Light!?" I turned back and faced both my friends. "Okay, I'll do it." I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of Lightning. If I backed out right now she'd probably just still think of me as a little kid and I'll never get the chance I was looking for. "Actually make it twenty-one" I said then pulled back towards the counter._

"_That's the spirit!" Lebreau said in an upbeat tone. "Alright everyone gather round Hope is about to down twenty-one shots!"_

_I swallowed hard then loosened my tie. My eyes took another glance to the left of me to see that Lightning was staring directly at me. I quickly picked up one of the shot and threw it to the back of my throat. I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut. The burning sensation in the back of my throat was not at all welcoming, nor did I expect it. I never had a taste of alcohol a day in my life. The taste wasn't nice either. "Geh.." I coughed and straightened up my face. "O-one.." I strained out. I could still feel Lightning's eyes on the side of my head and I did not want to look like a wuss in front of her. I could already tell this was going to be a crazy night._

_**~xxxxxx~**_

_I just had to do it. I just had to act like captain hard ass in attempt to impress Lightning. "Ugh.." fourteen shots and now I was done. I had started feeling funny on the fourth shot but I somehow encouraged myself to keep going. "Nyk.." My eyes were sitting so low to the point I could barely see, my mind was everywhere and nowhere, and I also needed to pee, really bad. "The…he-heck.." I stood up from the stool and wobbled over to the front door of the bar. "I-I'm uh..done..fro-or now, but I'm not. I'll b-beeee back.." I said then wobbled out the door."_

"_Dammit.." Lightning mumbled then ran outside after the male._

_I could feel myself wobbling around on the beach with my arms wrapped around the top of my head. This was a feeling I have never experienced before. I never had a sip of alcohol a day in my life. "Wh-why did I do this..Ugh.." I suddenly tripped up and laid flat on my stomach just seconds away from where the waves clashed onto shore. I never felt better laying like this for some reason. The slightly damp sand felt nice between my fingers, and the fact that it was cool against my skin made it even better. "Why does this feel so nice?" I" started to giggle to myself and started grabbing hand-fulls of sand and letting it slip through my fingers. "I need to come to the beach more often. This sand…the sand.."_

"_What are you doing?"_

_I dragged my head up from the ground and it lolled back. I squinted my eyes a bit to see that it was Lightning. "Ah, L-light." I said laxly. I sat up but slouched over, unable to support the weight of my upper body. "I'm just..uh..chillin here yes…come..come join me." I outstretched my arm to the woman but Lightning just stared in annoyance and rolled her eyes._

"_Hope you're drunk. I think I should take you home." _

"_I don't wanna!" I said like a pouting child. I folded his arms then looked over my shoulder when my eye caught something. "Hmm..?"_

"_I don't care what you want to do." When Lightning reached to grab my shoulder to help me up, the I quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her in my direction. Lightning stumbled, not suspecting the action to happen. The woman tried to keep her balance but she fell right on top of me._

"_Lightning you're-" But before I could finish all I felt was something connect with the side of my face, but didn't feel any pain._

_Lightning quickly jumped up off of me and took a few steps back but then she bumped into someone. The woman quickly whirled around, pulling her fist back once again, until she realized it was Serah and Lebreau. "The hell, why are you two sneaking up on me!?"_

"_Sneaking?" Lebreau asked and looked at Serah "We weren't sneaking up on you, we were just coming to see if you two were alright. Hope mostly. But it seems like you two were," She snickered and nudged Serah's arm. "Getting kind of close there."_

_Serah was in no laughing mood by the look on her face. She looked at Lightning who had a mixed expression. She looked like she wanted to say something to Serah but she couldn't get the words together. Serah then looked over at me. I flashed her a small grin then laughed. "Let's go Lebreau." The younger pinkette turned started walking away._

"_Serah wait!" Lightning grabbed the girl's arm and she stopped. She turned and faced her older sister, her eyes were full of sadness and uncertainty while Lightning's were just confused. "What?" Serah asked dryly._

_I watched as Lightning just stared at Serah. The woman nibbled away at her own bottom lip. Her expression was so readable. I knew Serah could see it too and knew she knew what Lightning wanted to say. Lightning just struggled because emotions were never her strongest point and Serah took high advantage of that. _

"_Nothing.." Lightning said and let go of the girl's arm, watching as she walked away._

"_Whhhhhhhhy are you soooooo in love with someone like that?" I asked as I stood up from the ground ,and staggered to the woman's side. We both watched the two girls until they walked back into the bar. "She doesn't deserve you Light."_

"_She's my sister. How dare you come up with that sick conclusion?" Lightning shot at me. She turned toward me, curling both her hands into fists glaring._

"_I may be drunk but I'm no idiot. Look at how frustrated and angry you are. You couldn't say what you wanted to say so now you're lashing out at me."_

_She started walking towards me, drawing her fist back once again. "Yeah, well maybe if you didn't pull that little stunt of yours then Serah wouldn't be-" She stopped and dropped her hand back to her side. _

_I just watched her expression as it constantly changed. She looked like she was ready to spazz out at any moment. "Lightning I love you." I blurted out. I then saw the woman's eyes widen then return to its original size. "I really do. I've been in love with you for a long time now and I'm tired of keeping it to myself and-"_

_I was talking but he could easily tell that Lightning was hardy listening. Her eyes had torn away from me and looked back towards the bar when Serah and Lebreau had walked out._

"_Where are they going?" She walked away from me and started in their direction. _

"_Light..?" I started after her but then decided to stop. Not only was I tired, and the alcohol was still making me feel funny, but it was obvious that Lightning did not reciprocate the same feelings. Maybe it was just a bad moment. The timing was off. That's what I told myself. He didn't have her full attention anyways, so she probably didn't hear him. Yeah that was it. The confidence in me suddenly returned. "Hey, Light wai-" I went to dash across the beach but I started to feel funnier than before. My body did not agree with that idea. I started to stagger around for a moment or two then suddenly fainted. _

* * *

><p><em>The sound of banging and noises of pleasure woke me up. I groaned and rolled over and soon wished I didn't when my body slipped from the bed and fell to the floor."Awww…Ah-ouch…" I groaned again and rocked from side to side on the floor. My body was extremely sore and so was the left side of my face.<em>

"_Serah!" I heard a voice call out from on the other side of the wall. A jagged moan followed._

"_The hell?" I mumbled as I reached up and grabbed onto the edge of the bed, and pulled himself up from the floor. However when I did that a nauseating feeling flipped my stomach. "Mmph..oh Eden…" I held my stomach with one hand and my mouth with the other. My head danced from side to side looking for a bathroom. "Mmph!" My eyes fell upon an open door just across the room. I rushed inside, thank goodness it was the bathroom because there would have been puke everywhere otherwise. I fell tom my knees, dropped his head in the toilet and let everything out. I silently promised myself that after this I'd never take another sip of liquor in my life. This was too much to deal with. My throat was on fire, my head was pounding, and my body felt like it was used for a punching bag. "Never again.." I said and stood up from the toilet bowl and flushed it._

_I walked towards the sink area and turned the water on. Sitting beside it was a bottle of water and two aspirin. A note next to it said; _

"_Take this for your hangover. I'll be back later."_

_-Lightning_

_I quickly grabbed the two pills without a second thought and threw them to the back of my throat. The water followed. So I was here at Lightning's house._

_Bang!_

_My head quickly turned towards the room. I set the empty bottle on the counter top, and walked from the bathroom. I stood at the center of the bedroom as the noises continued. There was a lot of moaning and a lot of banging. What the hell were they doing in there wrestling? And was the amount of noise they were making really necessary? I'd never experienced sex before so I wouldn't know. Maybe it was just that good. I walked towards the wall and decided to put my ear up against it._

"_You like how this feels?" I heard Serah say._

"_Mmm y-yes..keep going please..yes." Lebreau responded._

_My mind quickly imaged Lebreau lying with her back against the bed, and Serah's head between her thighs. "Ah..geez!" I stepped away for a second or two to get my thoughts together. Whatever Serah was doing she was doing a god job of it by the noises the brunette girl was making. Slowly I leaned back towards the wall. _

"_Right there, right there, right there," _

"_Ohhh right here hmm," There was a light slap sound. " That's your spot?" _

_Serah's voice started sending chills down my back at how seductive her voice sounded. I shivered a little._

"_Oh my god Serah, I'm about to-"_

"_What the fuuu-" All I heard afterwards was a very loud squeal that gradually turned into a quiet moan. I could not believe what my ears just heard, or the feeling that was running through the sudden bulge in the front of my pants. I pulled away from the wall and sat down on the bed. I wished I didn't even bother with listening. Now I was going to be forever scarred with the sounds of Lebreau's moaning. I'd never be able to look at her straight again.._

"_You're awake?" _

"_N-yuh!" I looked over my shoulder to see Lightning standing at the door. "Shit.." I whispered and grabbed one of the pillows. I placed it over the front of me then laid back on the bed, holding the pillow firmly. My head was starting to hurt again._

"_That's shocking considering what happened last night."_

_I didn't respond. What did happen last night? Last moment I remembered was the twenty-one shots. Everything after that was black. This is why I hated partying on my birthday because of moments like this. I just hoped I didn't make a fool of myself. "I don't want to know.."_

"_Fine by me. Just rest up alright." _

"_Hey, Light.." I called before the woman could walk out the door. Lightning stopped for a moment then waited. "How do you," I turned on my stomach, the action made me groan out but quietly. "How do you deal with that?" I asked referring to Serah and Lebreau. "I know you-"_

"_You don't know anything!" Lightning shot back. "Worry about yourself!" The door slammed and that was that._

"_Hmm." I wasn't bothered by Lightning's cold attitude that's just how she was with everyone. But she was never like that with me. The woman was displaying odd behavior, and it was no one else but Serah and Lebreau's fault, mostly Serah. The brunette is mostly likely just Serah's toy to make Lightning jealous. The games this girl plays, all because Lightning refused to act on her feelings for her. It made my skin crawl and my stomach churn. Serah made me sick, and I was gradually starting to hate her. I rolled on my back and tossed the pillow to the side. I had to do something. I hated the way Lightning was acting, and towards me of all people. I needed a plan, something to get Serah back for everything she was doing to hurt Lightning. I turned on my side again pulled the blanket over my head. My length throbbed in my pants as I squirmed a bit. Something had to be done. I decided to think more on it when his hangover cleared up. By the time I was through with her, Serah would never hurt another person._

_**~xxxxxx~**_

_I grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open. Stepping out from Lightning's room I stretched my arms up over my head and let out a loud groan then let my arms fall back to my sides. The brightness of the sun greeted me the moment I decided to fully open my eyes. I quickly shielded them with my eyes and turned my head away. That was a nice and well needed nap. I felt a lot better that was a plus. My head was no longer pounding and my stomach wasn't doing backflips, it wasn't feeling quite happy either._

"_Ugh, I need something to eat.." I dropped my arm back to my side and headed towards the kitchen area, where I helped myself to whatever was in the kitchen. "Hmm..?" I hummed and walked over to the stove. Seemed like someone was already cooking something here. Bacon, eggs, and pancakes. "Sounds good to me. I grabbed a plate at the side of the counter and picked it up, adding the food to my plate. I turn around and take a seat at the counter top. _

"_Wh-what!?" I heard Serah's voice exclaim as I took a bite into my food. I angled my head to the side a bit to get a peek into the living room. Both Lebreau and Serah were in there having some sort of discussion. I listened on._

"_No way!" Serah said and shook her head. Lebreau laughed at the girl a bit then nudged her shoulder. "It'll be fun!" _

"_Says the person that actually works there!" Serah sighed and started to think. "I didn't know Snow owned a strip club in Eden." _

_The brunette shrugged. "It's pretty new he started it about a year ago but it started gaining popularity about eight months ago. It's packed every night. Just imagine how much you'll make." Lebreau said with a growing smile._

"_I-I don't know Lebreau, I've never done-"_

"_And that's fine!" the brunette cut in. "I had no experience when I first started either but I'm pretty much a pro now." _

"_A strip club though?" She tried to imagine herself dancing in front of a crowd of men, taking off her clothes in a seductive manner as they threw money up at her. The image made her sick. "N-no I can't that's too demeaning!"_

"_You strip for me. You don't find it demeaning then." She winked. "Look, just give it a try. It's fun you don't have to take it seriously. Just take a few shots before you go on stage to loosen up!" _

_Soon I heard footsteps making their way towards the kitchen. When I looked up for a few seconds there stood Lebreau and Serah. "Oh?" I said and continued on, eating the food that was probably theirs. "Was this yours?" I asked as I chowed down on the food. "This is delicious!"_

_I could see from my peripherals that Serah was burning a hole in the side of my head with her eyes, I also picked up the sight of her hand curling into a fist. My head quickly turned to the side. "Hmm..?" I looked down at her hand and blinked twice. It was so tense her entire arm was trembling. "You," I picked up a napkin and wiped my mouth after finishing the delicious meal. "You okay Serah?" I asked in the most innocent voice I could. The last time I remembered pulling off the innocent act was long before I went to the military. The days I actually had something worth laughing about. Never thought that I'd actually be using it again._

"_That was an interesting discussion you two had going on in there. A stripper huh? I'm sure Lightning would be happy to hear about this one." I commented._

"_Hey.." Lebreau called to the girl. Her hand glided up the length of the pinkette's arm and stopped at her hand. _

_Serah's cold eyes never left me. In a way it made me feel very uncomfortable. Her stare beat out Lightning's. I swallowed hard and stood up from the table. "What's your-" _

_Then it hit me. It all came back to me in that moment. I turned and smirked at the pinkette which only made her glare look worse than death. I shivered on the inside but let out a laugh of mockery to cover up the fear. "I see.."_

_Serah growled lowly. "You-" She calmed down briefly then turned towards Lebreau. I watched as she grabbed hold of the girl's shoulders and whispered something to her. I tried to listen in but I couldn't hear. Lebreau kissed the girl's lips before walking off towards Serah's bedroom. There was a short silence between us until the door to the room clicked shut. _

"_You're jealous!" I spoke out first, immediately Serah took offense._

"_The hell are you talking about!?" I could see the anger forming in her expression as she took several steps toward me. I held my position._

"_You're upset about last night." I said coolly. "You walked up and found me and Lightning in a position that pissed you off." I chuckled. Serah looked as if she was ready to blow her top any second. "Am I right? Or am I right?"_

"_You stay away from her." She said then pushed me hard enough for me to stumble back. I laughed and combed my fingers through the smooth silvery locks on top of my head. "Oh I'm shaking." I said with a bit of laughing before my expression straightened to a more serious one. "Your words don't mean shit to me Serah." I said as I walked up on the younger girl. _

_She slowly started taking steps back, laughing as she did. "Your presence makes me sick!"_

"_Well that's too bad because I'm here, and as long as Lightning wants me around, I'll be here." I said continuing to step towards her until her back was pressed against the wall. I could tell she was starting to feel slightly threatened by the way she began shifting around. "Yeah?" She said and pressed both her hands up against my chest, trying to push me away. "Well she doesn't want you. If you're trying to grab her attention stop wasting your time. Lightning's interest is in me and me only." _

"_Says the slut.." The clicking of the front door sounded and I quickly stepped back from the pink haired girl. Glancing to the left I saw Lightning walking into the kitchen space. Serah swiftly pranced by the woman but took a few steps back. She looked at me then back at Lighting. The older woman was paying no attention to her younger sister but I was. Serah leaned close to the woman's ear. I could see Lightning's body quickly tense up as Serah started to speak. "I love you sis." She said, finishing her words with a unneeded moan. She pulled away then winked at me before prancing off into her bedroom. _

_Lightning finally released a breath and dropped her head on the counter top. I could only imagine what was spinning through her head right now after that. "You, alright ?" I had to ask but I knew she wasn't the way she looked at the moment screamed the answer. "I'll be right back."_

"_Again?" I asked and ran for the front door just as she was about to open it. "Stop allowing her to do this to you Light." I whispered to her. I had a feeling that Serah was probably listening. " it's-"_

"_I can't.." Lightning responded. She pushed me from in front of the door and exited the house. Right after, Serah came skipping out of her room. Humming as she did. "Oh?" She stopped and stood with her hands behind her back, tilting her head to the side like a curious child would. "Where'd Lightning go?" A large mischievous grin grew across her lips that made me shudder a bit. "You think this is funny!?"_

_She pivoted and spun on her left heal, her grin faded. "Who's laughing? I'm worried about her. She's been acting odd lately." She snickered, which angered me even further. "I'm just concerned." She said._

"_You're a terrible person, you know that?"_

"_Whatever." She said and started skipping back towards her room. "I'm going to handle some things then I have to prepare for later. Bye Hope!" she waved then shut the door._

"_Oh yeah," I mumbled lowly to myself as I reached into my pocket for my phone. "Well "I have to prepare for later too." I dialed a number and put the phone to my ear. "You won't forget this night.." The phone rang a few times until someone finally picked up. "Yo, what's up?" a raspy voice spoke into my ear._

"_Hey, It's Hope, remember that favor? I need it now meet me at the park in Bodum in an hour.."_

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think. <strong>


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